The X-Files, Scully and Mulder belong to Chris Carter. Lucky guy!

Thanks for reading and reviewing – means a lot to me.

This is the last chapter of a story meant to be a little one shot.

I hope the I Want to Believe DVD hits my mailbox tomorrow as promised by the supplier ;-)

Chapter sixteen

Don't Give Up

The Scully-Mulder Residence

April, 23rd 2008

06.45 P.M

Scully was in their bedroom sorting out the dirty clothes from the clean ones in their travel bags, it had been a short trip so some of the packed clothes were still unused. Finding the clothes and towels they had used in the sweat, her nose wrinkled in disgust, they smelled awful. Deciding to wash it all right away her eyes fell upon the package Joe Taylor had given her.

Moisturizing her lips she hesitated, suddenly, unsure of the wisdom in opening the gift, the whole situation had been surrealistic to her. The power of the sweat lodge was life altering, she couldn't deny that, but guilt was mixed with this feeling. She had grown up in the Catholic Church, and the Church wasn't approving of other ways than the straight. Yet, she couldn't stop thinking about what the Church had done to the Native, she had made a research of the matter and it was true. The children had been taken from their homes and sent to boarding-schools. The Christian ways had been forced upon a people by steeling their children, their futures. Maybe faith was a matter of tolerance she cherished that thought.

Wrapping the gift open a big Mandela came into sight, it was beautiful. On a leather piece, a white-headed eagle handing a whistle to a small boy was painted, on each side of the circle hang horsehairs and feathers hang loosely from the bottom. Surely, this was an expensive gift. Taking it up she admire the Mandela, every detail was clearly made with consideration. In awe, she touched the feathers, not sure from which bird they came. Looking down again, she saw a dream catcher; a note told her it was for her. Touched, she took it into her hands it was beautiful! The feathers were from a pheasant and the stones in the web were light pink, later, she would find out which stones they were.

Laying the dream catcher on her bed she replaced it with the Mandela, holding it in her hand she entered William's room. Her son was in the living room with Mulder, they were trying a new computer game. The game would teach William to spell more words. Standing in the middle of the room, she looked from the Mandela to the walls, her eyes settled on a small hook at the wall where William's bed was placed. It would be the perfect spot for the Mandela. Stepping onto the bed, she hang the Mandela on the hook, it was perfect. It was a beautiful gift for her son, a protection.

Satisfied she walked into the bedroom again, now she just had to find a good place for her dream catcher, she wanted to share it with Mulder. She was unsure if she wanted it above their bed, or if it would be more decorating in the living-room, considering her options, her thoughts turned to her sister. She would've loved getting the change to participating in a Blackfoot ceremony; Melissa had been open to most things regarding spirituality. She missed sharing her life with her older sister, and it would've been great to share William and this first case with Melissa.

Once, Melissa had told her, that she believed there was a specific reason why Dana rarely slept through a night, and that she might want to find that reason in order to change the situation. Melissa had been sure there was a reason behind everything in life and they just had to find the answers to solve things. Melissa had several times said that Dana was looking all the wrong places, looking too hard for facts. What would Melissa think of her sister now?

Resolutely, Scully decide the dream catcher belonged in the bedroom. Perhaps it would help her holding onto her dreams, and finding a way to understand what lay underneath the 'don't give up'.

"Mommy, come look!" William called from his room.

Striding into his room, she saw his happy face. "Mommy, it's cool. Where did you get it?"

"You like it, sweetie?" standing next to him, she gently pushed a stray curl of hair away from his eye; his hair was so alike Mulder's.

"I do! Look at the bird, mommy."

"It's an eagle. A nice man, Joe Taylor, asked me to give the Mandela to you, William."

"What's for?" his small voice filled with wonder over this unexpected gift.

"It's called a Mandela. It's an Indian charm for protection. I think the eagle represents clarity and it can bring our prayers to the creator, to God, sweetheart."

Accidentally, she had found this information when she had made her research of the Catholic boarding- schools.

Bewildered he glazed at her; "the man wants me to pray to it?"

Realising, he hadn't understood what she just said, she giggled softly, "no sweetheart, neither do I. You just say your prayers as you always do, the eagle listens to them."

"But it will protect me and you and dad?" Innocently he looked into her eyes, "so we will always be together?"

Touched, she bowed down and placed a soft kiss on his forehead, holding his head between her palms, she reassuringly said, "it will, sweetheart."

"Good, he's a nice man. We will see him again. I want to give him a gift too, mommy."

"We will find a good gift and send it to Joe Taylor, sweetheart."

"Why wasn't I invited to this party?" Mulder stalked into the room looking anything but offended. "Wow, what's that on your wall, William?"

"It's an eagle, dad!"

Mulder looked from William to Scully, "ah, I see that now."

"Mommy says it's a man protector, it's good." William looked seriously at his dad.

Mulder smiled at his son, "I'm sure it is." Turning to Scully, he widened his eyes in question, "a man protector? Should I be jealous?"

Sniffling a giggle, she explained, "it's a Mandela Joe Taylor gave William. We got a dream catcher."

"I assume it a protector?" Mulder replied.

"Mommy, can I see the dream holder. How can it hold your dreams?" William tipped from one foot to the other in eagerness. Marvelling at how alike William was to his dad, Scully smiled.

"Come, I'll show you the dream catcher." Taking his hand, she walked him to the bedroom, Mulder followed behind trying to hide his laughing.

"Look it's on the bed, William." Scully directed her son's eyes to the dream catcher.

"It's pretty but how can it holds your dreams, won't they fall out of the holes?"

Hiding her mouth behind her left hand, Scully kept quiet for a while.

"Maybe you got the one with all the holes, Scully." Mulder looked deadpan at her.

"I'm almost certain the holes are for the bad dreams, they are being directed away from you." She would have to find out how a dream catcher worked.

"It looks like a spider web." William had lost interest in the dream catcher and ran out of the bedroom.

Staring at the dream catcher she realised her son was right, the web looked liked the web a spider made. The web intrigued her, suddenly she saw it; inside the web a spider appeared. The spider filled most of the web, it was very beautiful done; creating a spider inside a circle shaped net.

"Found something interesting, Scully?"

"Yeah, look the web is formed as a spider. William was more right than he thought."

Bowing his head to level inches away from Scully's, he studied the dream catcher, "ah, I see it. But you know most people are afraid of spiders, don't you?"

Rolling her eyes her lips curled up into a smile, "I don't think it will attack us in our sleep, Mulder. I'll be right next to you, you know!"

"Ah, thank you, I feel so much safer now. Where do you want it?"

"Above our bed. In the middle. That way it will help both of us."

Slightly amused he asked; "Do you believe the dream catcher will work?"

"I don't know, but symbols are strong just like my cross. Originally, the dream catcher was used to protect the warriors, when they rode off to war. Don't underestimate the value of symbols, Mulder."

Amazingly, she had found the information earlier that day, not knowing it would be important to her later. Her analytic mind had stored the information without reflection, never expecting it would be useful to her personally, but the case had affected her deeply on a personal level.

"Let me help you."

Handing the Dream Catcher to Mulder, she willingly let go of it, with a smiled she watched Mulder claiming onto the bed. He wasn't a handy man in any sense, on the contrary, he failed big time in that department. Fortunately, a hook already was plugged into the ceiling above their bed. She assumed the former owner had used it for something.

With sparkling eyes, he turned to her, "all finished." He was well aware of his practical abilities or the lack of them.

Clapping her hands slowly she stated, "I'm so proud of you, Mulder!"

Coming down from the bed he shuffled closer to her, feeling his hot breath on her face she tilted her head up, obeying her request; he covered her lips with his own.

"Scully, why won't you marry me?"

Resting her head against his chest, she closed her eyes and sighed, "do we have to talk about it again?"

"Scully, we haven't really talked about it, you just said there was no reason to get married."

Acknowledging the truth in his words she tried to explain, "it's just…you know, you have…I don't know, Mulder. We don't need a piece of paper!" Frustrated she gave up; she had no solid reason just a bitter taste of jealousy.

Tilting her head up to meet his stare, he locked eyes with her. "I was never married to Diana, we never made it so far. We never got pass the engagement part. We can just skip that part, Scully, and go directly to the marriage part. Would that be ok?"

"I know it's foolish, Mulder, I just can't help it. Maybe I'm afraid of the emotional attachment, I don't know."

"It means a lot to me, I want to marry you, Scully."

"Let me think about it. Ok?" she searched his eyes to see if she had hurt him deeply, all she found was love, hope and understanding.

"Ok" He whispered. "I think it's past a certain young man's bedtime, I'll hunt him down." He laughed on his way out of the bedroom.

Later in her sleep, Scully became restless as a dream started forming in her sleep:

Of course, he had picked up her attend of doing her own little campaign, it shouldn't come as a surprise to her, he was good at reading between the lines. She had arrange it all so well, the Gunmen supporting her on this one, hell she had almost believed them, when they stated the files couldn't be hacked. But of course Mulder hadn't.

Unpleased with the situation she stepped out of the apartment, the only good thing in all this was, that the truth had finally hit Mulder, and that he had looked pleased with the fact, that he was to become a dad.

"Sully, wait" She felt his hand on her shoulder; ungraciously, she turned around to face him. It was getting harder and harder to move around these days. Immediately, their eyes locked, seeing the happiness and silent question, her doubts easily faded away and softness floated into her eyes.

"Is it true, is it my baby? Our baby, Scully?"

The mixture of vulnerability, hope and disbelieve she found in his unblinking eyes, touched her, they hadn't talked about her baby since, he had said he was unsure of his role in it all. His doubts had hurt her, never would she understand, how he could doubt her love like that. But all was forgiven in this moment.

Her mouth turning into a big grin she whispered softly, "yeah, it's true, Mulder!"

For a long moment they just stared at each other, both communicating their love through their eyes. He always made her feel beautiful and loved when he looked at her that way.

"Thank you, "finally able to move, he took her in his arms and held her tight, "thank you, Scully" He whispered again, this time into her ear. His word was not just covering the baby; it covered her loyalty, her fidelity and her love. Softly his mouth moved downwards, leaving a warmth path of kisses on its way, until his lips found her lips in a possessive kiss mixed with unshielded love. Eagerly, she responded in the same fashion. She had missed his kisses, missed the taste of him, his scent, his touches and missed to look into his eyes. Feeling herself coming home she deepened the kiss, wanting all of him.

"Are we suppose to do this, Scully?" gently breaking the kiss, he smiled broadly.

"Yeah, hell we are, Mulder." Turning her head upwards, she moistened her lips, invitingly. Instantly, he obeyed claming her lips in a long, breathtaking kiss.

Pulling apart, she unwillingly admitted, "well, maybe not here." Looking down at her swollen abdomen, she saw and felt his hands caressing it. His eyes widened in surprise when the baby kicked.

"This is a homecoming I never dreamed of, Scully."

"Yeah, I know. Let's go home, Mulder"

The pictures faded way. Now, she was lying on a table, a bright spot shinning above her, exposing her bare abdomen. In shock, she watched it grow and grow until she looked heavily pregnant. Unable to move her arms, she bowed her head and watched her body.

If she didn't know better, she would think she was carrying a baby inside her, but it would never happen again. She was barren and a miracle never happened twice.

Feeling movements inside her, she saw her abdomen move; there was a connection between the kicking and the movements. It couldn't be!

Startled, she awoke abruptly from the dream. Her hand rushed down to her abdomen, she had been pregnant in her dream, first with her son and then with another baby. It had felt so real. Too real! A dream never coming true; another baby.

Her heart thumped for a long moment and she had difficulties with her breathing, it only reached to the top of her lungs. Fear had too strong a hold on her to find any release. Rolling over she pressed her body into Mulder's back, his deep, relaxed breathing slowed her own down gradually. It was just a dream, a bad one, probably started when Skinner handed her the case file earlier today.

Pressing her lips softly against his neck, she felt him starting to roll over until he was facing her, "a bad dream?" He was used to her regular nightmares, which had started just after her abduction and become more frequent when William was handed over to the adoption agency.

"Yeah" she whispered back.

"You know, it will help if you to talk about it?" Over the years, it had become much easier for her to discuss her feelings and private matters, her confidence came with trust and he was honoured and grateful, she had given hers to him. When she had a hard time confiding in him it was because she didn't trust herself.

Licking her upper lip her doubtful eyes bore into his, "It's weird. First, it was about when you realised you were William's father, next I was pregnant, but it wasn't with William. It was with a new baby. I was on a table with my abdomen stripped." Breathing deeply her eyes clouded with confusion, "Maybe, I just whish it would happen again." Looking down along her nose, she whispered the last sentence.

"Scully, would you like another child?" He had suspected, she longed for another child, but had hoped she had come to terms with that it would unlikely never happen.

"Yeah," it was painful for her to admit, "but I also know it will never be more than a dream." Lifting her eyes, she saw understanding and regretting in his eyes.

"What brought this up?"

"I don't know, Mulder!" But she knew, "a case Skinner wants me to look into and something Joe Taylor said."

"What case?"

"Erg, a case about a twelve years old girl, who might experience some of the same test Emily did. I haven't looked into it yet, it will stir up old wounds and memories."

"Why didn't you tell me? You don't have to do it alone." He had been very fond of Scully's daughter, secretly, whishing she had been his daughter.

"Thank you." Closing her eyes, she tried to shrug off the dream and her wistful thinking.

"What did Joe Taylor say to you? You told me you would tell me later."

Opening one eye she tiredly replied, "don't give up."

"Don't give up… I think you need to pay attention to that statement. What have you given up upon, Scully? This means something, you know, it has been said twice to you."

Resting her tongue against her lips, her eyes drifted away into her own world for a long minute. She had avoided looking at the issue for the last few years. Simply shutting down that part of her life, believing it was way out of her reach.

Tears filled her eyes, when they couldn't hold the salty water anymore, tears dripped to the pillow, damping her face on its way. Her lips started to shiver.

Inching closer to her, he tightened his hold on her, placing a soft kiss on her salty mouth, before he whispered into her ear, "is it so bad you can't tell me?"

The fight inside her nearly tore her apart, she wanted to tell him, wanted to use his strength, but she was embarrassed over her weakness and afraid he would dismiss it as childish fear. Deep inside she knew he wouldn't, knew it was just her own fear playing games with her mind.

Exhaling heavily, she found the courage, almost choking on the words she uttered; "a family, a future, that my dreams will always be unreachable."

"Still afraid someone will take William away?" He shared her fear and doubts.

"Or that I'll loose you!"

In disbelief, he blurred "Me! Why?"

"Mulder, you always rush into things without second thoughts, you did it again some weeks ago. You didn't even carry a weapon! You could have died, if Skinner and I hadn't found you." There wasn't a hint of accusation in her voice but sadness. "You know, I fell in love with you because of that stubbornness of yours, it's just difficult to live with it sometime."

He hadn't understood it before now what his actions did to her, how much worry and pain it brought upon her, "I'm sorry, I don't know if I can change it, but I'm willing to try."

Smiling weakly she softly said, "You can't change who you are, just promise me you'll be more careful."

"I will"

"Good!"

"Scully, are you okay?" He hated the weariness in her voice.

Closing her eyes, she wondered briefly. "It's not about my faith in God, Mulder, it's about my trust in God and in myself. I didn't se that in Standoff but now I do."

"Do you still want to go back to Quantico?"

"No, we need to fight for a future and our family; I can't refuse the responsibility, Mulder."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Scully. I won't blame you if you quit the X-Files for Quantico." He was honest; there were more at stake than their two lives.

"I won't, your pillow talk about destinies the other night made me want to believe" She laughed softly.

The end