A/N: Why do I feel the need to torture poor Sam? Just for funsies.
Also because we know very little about her family/home life, and when left untended, my mind grows hideous things. :D

Summary: Sam picks on Freddie for many different reasons, most of which are there only to drown out the one that really counts. Hints of abuse, slight AU, Angst up the arse (as always).


iPick on Freddie


You pick on Freddie because he's easy that way. Because you really can't stand how he is sometimes; so weak and oddly unrestrained about his fears. You can't imagine being like that. If you were like him, even for a second, you think you'd die. All your guts would come spilling out onto your beat up, converse high-tops, and you would never be able to put them back in again. And everyone would see.

Carly, who you need so much, because she's the yin to your yang, the Silent Bob to your Jay, the good to your bad. She would see, and she would know, and she'd look at you differently. You're constantly afraid of people seeing you.

You pick on Freddie because he's an annoying techie dork-face, and because he's so in love with your best friend that it makes you wanna puke about ninety percent of the time. You see the way he moons over her, the way he trails her like a wounded puppy. And you like to kick him when he's down. You like to tell him that Carly will never love him back because it makes you feel better about not having anyone to love you, and because it's true.

You learned a long time ago, at too young an age, that love always comes with a price tag. You were never willing to pay; the cost was always too high. You're quick on the uptake, and you knew after the first time your cousin Bill tried to tell you that it was normal…

You pick on Freddie to distract him from Carly, and to distract yourself from your life. Being vicious takes up a lot of time, and you like it that way. These are things you can control, and if it doesn't make sense, then you can make it make sense.

You pick on Freddie because you're almost certain you can't make him like you, but you can sure as hell make him pay attention. And also, if you kissed him, he would probably never speak to you again. At the very least, he'd act all loser-y and awkward around you, and then how would you spend your time? Alone in your room thinking about how much your life blows?

The transitive property states that if things become awkward with Freddie, things will become awkward with Carly as well. 'Cause somehow you're all friends, and if one unit is not functioning correctly, then all units fail. You can't bring yourself to take the risk.

So when Freddie trips and falls, you laugh. And you laugh and you laugh, and you never stop laughing.