Chapter Fourteen: Storytelling

(Back to Bella)

I never would have believed a night like this could happen to me in Forks. A small, secluded town like this never had anything going for it. Its constant changes in weather were far more exciting than anything that has happened here in years, but boy was I wrong.

Tonight was full of extremes, and I had uncovered certain key facts in the duration of the masquerade: Edward was a vampire, my image in Forks was forever tainted, and that I could no longer hide my past - as painful as it is for me to remember.

And now I lay here beside Edward in all his immortal beauty, and I'm about to dive down yet another cliff: I'm about to tell him the truth.

"You don't have to now, Bella. I understand if you want to wait-"
"No," I said, "It's now or never."
He gazed into my eyes with a penetrating stare in an attempt to elicit hesitation, but I promised myself I would not falter. He leaned in and whispered sweetly into my ear.
"Whenever you're ready."
I took a deep breathe in, and pulled his hand into me.
"Alright," I said as I sat up on my bed until I was level with Edward whose eyes didn't leave mine for a second.

"It… it happened in Phoenix," I said, licking my lips that had started to run dry from the heavy, cold air I inhaled, "Renee and Phil…they were away one weekend and-"

"Bella," Edward cut in, "You're shaking. Please don't hurt yourself."
"I'm fine, Edward. You're the first person I'm telling this to."
"You mean you haven't told Charlie?"
I nodded.
"Please continue," he said after a long pause.

I remember the day so clearly. Every minute and second of it plays out like a movie in my head. I woke up to the dry breeze of Phoenix air. I stare up from my bed at my ceiling where hangs a mobile of little sparrows – flightless as they are glued to each branch. I had made it when I was eight. Renee had attached a set of chimes beneath to sing me asleep and awake. Every night and morning I awaken to the sweet melody of the sparrows as the breeze from my window set them swaying in the sky.

I was especially excited to start my day not only because I had the house completely to myself, but because I was invited to one of the biggest parties this year – Rachel Walsh's, the beautiful, blonde cheerleader who handed me the pristinely pink envelope right after she had aced her Chemistry exam – the one that I had tutored her in weeks beforehand. I had never anticipated being invited to such an elite party even if I had done a major favor for Rachel. I was taken aback that she might have thought her party was my main motivation in helping her.

However, Rachel had the reputation of being one of the nicer people in the 'in-crowd' so I accepted her invite without any bitter feelings. My thoughts were preoccupied with something or someone else.

Matt Garrison.

I blushed heavily as I looked at Edward's reaction. He had flinched a little, but his silence told me to continue.

I was never one to be attracted to someone completely out of my league, but Matt… he was different from all the other jocks in his circle. For one, he was intelligent: With a 4.0 GPA and colleges already on his back for football scholarships. He sat behind me in English where he sent me into a whirlwind with how he spoke so eloquently about Moby Dick, the Scarlet Letter, and 18th century poets.

At first, I had the usual grunt of enthusiasm when I saw that this jock would be sitting behind me all year, but he proved me wrong. He was actually nice. He would say to hi to me in the hallways, sometimes carry my heavy books to my locker after class, and even come to my defense during a topical debate in English.

I recall many times when we would converse in class. His messy amber hair shining in the fluorescent light and his smile that sent me blushing in moment's time. He liked me, and I liked him. It was all too good to be true.

I suppose what I had was a crush. I tried my hardest to stifle it. I knew that the possibility of a relationship with him was out of the question. He had been in a long-term relationship with Rachel for nearly a year. There was no reason why he would ever want me over her.

So although I did not have a prayer getting in with Matt maybe we could remain friends and Rachel's party might set that off. Little did I know how much that night would change my life forever.

It was the morning of the party, but I still had school. Matt and Rachel were no where to be found. The thought of them together made my stomach churl, but I wouldn't let that get me.

I took the time I had afterschool to get ready for the party. I would be wearing my favorite (my only) blue dress. It was cap-sleeved and came just above the knees. It was a shame I was abnormally pale for living in sunny Arizona, but I had to let nature take its own unfair course.

I went into Phil and Renee's room just before I left for the party. I wanted to borrow Renee's silver butterfly hairclip. It went perfectly with my dress and allowed my brown hair to cascade down my neck.

For the first time I felt pretty.

The phone rang as I was waiting to be picked up.

"Hello?" I said into the receiver.
"Bella, sweetie, It's me."
"Mom," I said, suddenly feeling guilty, "How are you guys?"
"Good. Phil's working out in the gym."
"Uh-huh, what about you?"
"Oh, just lying around by the pool," Renee replied dreamily, "I just wanted to check up on you. What are you doing now?"
"Um, I'm staying in tonight. Maybe I'll rent a couple of movies," I lied.
"Ooh, sounds like fun! Listen, just be safe, okay? I'll call back to check on you later tonight."
"Alright, Mom," I said.

I got a ride with one of Rachel's friends who drove. She was picking others up along the way and by the time the last person came in we were all crammed inside the car. I felt uncomfortable being in a car full of the popular kids. Even in Arizona I was a bit of a drifter.

We were headed to Rachel's vacation house down south. The route was familiar to me, but I rarely ever travelled this far. I immediately knew when we arrived to Rachel's house. All we had seen for miles were trees and highway, but when we got to the huge, lit-up house I knew we were nearing our destination.

When I got out of the car I was unsure as to where I should go. I didn't exactly have friends who were attending this party so I followed the same crowd I came with. Once I got inside I was greeted by the smell of alcohol and smoke. The foyer was overwhelming. Two spiraling staircases and a glass chandelier ignited the room. A bunch of expensive artwork lined the marble walls of the home.

There were tons of people there. Faces I recognized and faces I had never seen before. One short, tan-skinned guy holding a red cup winked at me as he passed. Heat began to rise inside me. I was in unfamiliar territory.

"Bella!" and I was thankful to hear a familiar voice. Rachel looked gorgeous in her white-sequined cocktail dress. Her blonde hair curled into perfection as she descended from the stairs. Once she came to me she gave me a quick hug.

"I'm so glad you could make it!" she exclaimed. Her entourage of cheerleaders loomed around her.
"Me too," I said shyly, "Wow, your house is...amazing."
"Thanks, you're too sweet!"
I smiled back at her and that was the end of our conversation.

Loud music began to blast from the stereo that was placed upstairs. Music I wasn't particularly familiar with, but understood it to be popular. Soon girls, boys, and couples gyrated on the dance floor and I took the occasion to step aside. I wandered into the kitchen in search of something to hold on to – maybe a plate of nachos or a drink or something. Anything to make me look less out of place.

When I arrived into the equally well-decorated kitchen I was greeted with a surprise. Matt was there pouring drinks into a battalion of red and blue cups. He looked up at me and nearly spilt liquor onto the floor.

"Bella," he said through a breathy voice. There was something different about him, but I couldn't exactly place it.
"Matt,"
"Wow, you look…great."
"Thanks, so do you" I said, heavily blushing, "Hey, do you need help?"
"That'd be great," he said as he handed me a clear bottle to pour into the cups. I stood beside him and we remained in silence for awhile.
"So you weren't at school today…"
"No, I wasn't," he said his tone slightly annoyed and I looked down at my hands.
"Can I ask why?" I said.
"Rach and I got into a fight-" he said, "We had to talk things through. She's pissed at me now."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"
"It's fine, Bella. Rach can be a bitch sometimes."

With that he stormed away angrily. The conversation with Matt ruined my mood for tonight. I had clearly pried into private territory and now he was mad. I took a red cup and had my first drink of alcohol.

I went back in the main room where people were dancing and decided to finally join the party. The lights were shut off and all I could feel was the pulse of the music. Soon I was dancing with a group I could not see the faces of and it felt great letting go of inhibitions.

Before I knew it I felt two arms grab me around my waist. My heart began to pound.

"Come with me," said a male voice and I was pulled away.
"Who are you-" I said feeling a little dizzy, "Where are you-"
I was only met with silence.
We went up the stairs where we had to push through a mass of moving bodies.

He led me to a room full of mirrors. I saw my reflection but I still could not see who I was with in the darkness. Suddenly I was pushed against a wall with the figure pressing his weight on top of me as he hitched my legs around him.

The air was sucked out of the room and all I could feel was my throat burning. I began to panic and I kicked at the empty space. His lips were hot as fire as they took mine into his. He grabbed hold of my arms and held them tight above me when I struggled to beat him away.

"Shh," he hissed in my ear to silence my screams.

Hot tears and sweat began to pour from my face as I knew what would happen to me tonight.

The loud music blanketed my yelps for help. Soon it was no use screaming so I stopped altogether.

"I knew you wanted this," he snickered when he heard that I had stopped screaming. My body went limp as he now pulled me to the floor with him.

As he was dragging me down I saw his face in the moonlight.
I began to scream again, but he clamped my mouth shut.
"Bella, don't be stupid," he said, "I won't hurt you if you let me-"
As his hands went up my dress I kicked him in the groin. He toppled over and I crawled to the door, but it was locked. Suddenly I felt strong hands pull at my hair and throw me against the mirrored wall. I shielded my face as glass shards cut into my arm. Blood stained my blue dress.

I was too late; he took my legs and slid me back to him. He grabbed hold of my bleeding arm and secured it in place – blood escaping through his fingers. There was no way out and I cried out in agony.

"No, Please," I cried to him as he slid me out of my underwear and let his tongue scorch my neck, "Matt no-"
He stopped what he was doing and slapped me across the face.

The minutes passed like hours. He entered me and kept pounding until emptiness was all I felt. I had stopped struggling and screaming altogether. When he was done he pulled his pants on, his finger swiped at the red that escaped me.

"Virgin, huh?"

He left me there and rejoined the party.

I decided not to move for some time. The pain I felt froze my entire body. I saw the scene like I was a ghost looking down at my dead body. There was blood everywhere and bruises already forming. I coughed up blood as I started to sit myself up.

I observed the broken glass that littered the floor and hoped Rachel wouldn't be mad about that. I picked at the shards that had gashed into my arms. All I wanted to do was get out of here.

When I finally stood up I realized it would harder to get out than I had expected. My dress was heavily stained in some areas, and my hair and face were completely disheveled. I realized then that Renee's clip was missing. I found it near the sight where he had thrown me against the mirror. The clip had broken into two pieces, but I picked up and held it in my hands.

I walked out of the room slowly and discreetly. I was thankful that the area was dimly lit. Perhaps my escape would be easier to pull off. However, when I got down stairs, my ears met with raucous screaming.

"How could you!?" Rachel said and pushed Matt in the chest.
"She practically begged me, Rach."

A crowd was forming around them and my heart dropped when Rachel noticed me.

"You!" she approached me, "Get out! How could you sleep with my boyfriend?"
Rachel slapped me across the cheek to the sound of gasps and whispers. They all stared at me as if expecting me to have a comeback, but I didn't.

I was silent. I didn't move.

"Well!?" Rachel screamed into my face.
I walked away. Out the door and into the night. As I walked someone tripped me and I fell onto the cold marble floor. They all laughed and whispered Slut, Whore, Skank and each name clawed at each of my wounds.

I had no choice but to walk home. No one would be willing to drive this nobody, this monster home. So I limped across the empty highway with only the streetlights guiding my way.

When I finally got home it was twilight out. The sun was just beginning to peek out from the horizon. I walked into my empty house and checked five new messages. All from Renee:

8:32PM "Hey, sweetie. Where are you?"

8:45PM "Honey, pick up please. I want to know what you're doing."

9:23PM "Bella, baby, I guess you went to the video store. I'll call back soon."

10:19PM "Bella, are you back? I want to talk to you."

11:05PM "Okay, honey, I guess you're asleep. I don't want to wake you so I'll let you sleep. Be safe, sweetie. Goodnight."

I crawled into my bed without changing from my bloody clothes. I stared up at my ceiling at the sparrows that swayed singing their lullaby, and soon I was asleep.

I took the weekend to redress my wounds. Renee and Phil had no idea when they finally came back from Florida, but they became suspicious when I refused to talk or eat for months. The entire school was talking about it. I took the rest of the year learning how to ignore Matt's insults everyday in class.

When Renee realized I wasn't going to tell her a thing she called Charlie.

I looked up, expecting Edward to be the solid figure he always was, but instead I met immensely conflicted eyes.
"Edward-"
"You didn't confront him?" he said curtly.
"No I… was afraid," I said, "no one would believe me."
"Bella, if you don't do anything I'll have to take matters into my own hands."
Edward suddenly began to rise from his place and I leapt up at him, but he was already away from me. I had never seen this side of him. He looked ready to kill.
"No, Edward," I said, "Please. It was a long time ago."
"Bella-" Edward said through heavy breaths, "he hurt you- he forced you to-"
"I know what he did, but there's no way I can confront him. It was hard enough to tell you. I don't think I can do it again."

Edward was silenced by this and he nodded solemnly. I could see that this hurt him more than I imagined it would.

"What can I do?" he said.
"Stay with me," I said taking his hand, "Please don't leave."
"Of course, Bella" he said as he laid me down and rested his head on my stomach, "I'll stay as long as you want me to."

I fell asleep to Edward humming his peaceful lullaby.

So of course this was a bit hard for me to write as I'm sure it is to read, and I'm currently a bit sick with a pounding headache so blegh :x I hope you enjoyed it though!

I started a new story "What's Left Unfinished" – it's Bella's diary post (8yrs)-Edward's departure - and you guys should check it out!  I don't know if I should continue it or not, I have a lot of ideas for it.