AN: Thank you, episode 71, for inspiring the following CRACK.

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It was 2:56 when Eiji's phone rang. He knows this because it says the time a person called on the Caller ID, which is how he finally got around to getting the number for Inui's new phone after Kawamura accidentally annihilated the last one. But that was kind of irrelevant.

The point of course, being the first words out of Inui's mouth- "It's a date."

There was a brief pause where Eiji waited for the Inui to elaborate. He didn't though, and the acrobat got impatient.

"Yes. I am on a date. Why did you call me to tell me so?"

"Wait- you're on a date?"

"Of course I am, I just said so!"

"No, you're not the date I was-"

"What? But I AM on a date, I already said so!"

"I realize this, Kikumaru, but that's not why I called,"

"Then why did you call? If we both already know this shouldn't you have waited until after I wasn't busy anymore to call to tell me you know?"

"Yes, but- Wait, no, that's not it. I was not aware that you were on a date, and I apologize for interrupting it, but-"

"Eh? How could you not have known? That's why you called!"

"Not it isn't."

"But that was the first thing you said when I picked up the phone!"

"Actually, the first thing I said was 'This is Inui,'"

"Oh, whatever! Look, could you just call back later?"

"I'd like to think this is rather urgent."

"What, my date?"

"No, the other date."

"What other date?"

"Echizen and Tezuka."

"What about them?"

At this there is a brief pause in conversation where Inui heaves a frustrated sigh, and Eiji imagines he's rubbing his temples, too. People seem to do those actions a lot in Eiji's conversations, usually together, although Fuji smiles and sighs without rubbing his temples and Tezuka just rubs his temples. And then usually orders him to do laps. Like that one time when he and Fuji went through the lost and found and found a girl's make-up kit, and so they stole a pair of uniforms from the Girls' Locker Room and went to practice in drag. Eiji had thought that they had looked very good, and it's not like there was any harm done after they gave the uniforms back, but Tezuka had gotten mad and when Eiji tried to explain that the only one who didn't at least think it was funny was him he ended up with twice as many laps as he'd originally been assigned.

"They're on a date."

"Who?"

"Are you even listening at this point?"

"Oh, right! Ochibi and Tezuka, right? Sorry, I just drifted off for a second and forgot!

So, what, they're on dates?"

"A date. With each other."

There was a moment of silence where the implications of this statement finally sunk in. "…Are you sure?"

"They're alone together."

"Yeah..."

"And they're not playing tennis."

"Holy crap! They're on a date!"

"Precisely. Now, are you interested or not?"

"Where?"

"The Buttermilk Café, Bar & Grill on Fourth street."

"I'll be there in ten minutes. No, Seven! Five! Five minutes!"

"It's not a contest… And what about your date?"

"Oh, he won't mind! He's just as curious as I am!"

Before Inui could respond, Eiji hung up.

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End Part One