Summary: It's really not a love triangle. But I wish it was. Maybe then it'd hurt less. Drabble-ish

So, basically, there's really no specific couple. In my mind, it was Sam as the narrator, and Freddie and Carly as the ones dating, but I use no names, leaving the specific parts up to your imagination. Have at it, folks.

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly.

...

iAm in a Love Triangle

It's really not a love triangle.

But I wish it was. Maybe it'd hurt less.

In a triangle, there's three people involved. Everyone is loved by someone else. It may be confusing and heartbreaking, but I think that in a love triangle, at least everyone has someone to fall back on, at least everyone knows that they have something there.

But me? I'm alone. I have to watch them together, holding hands, being happy, and know that I can't do anything about it, that I can't have that, that I don't have that. Everyday, I'm reminded by that, I'm reminded of the pain in my chest. Everyday I have to look at them beaming and laughing, and I have to have my heart break all over again. I have to keep having that longing and wish renowned over and over again. It doesn't leave me. Ever. I have to get my heart ripped to shreds again and again, never getting the chance to try and fix it before it hurts again. I can't get away from the suffocating ache and pain of knowing that you love someone who doesn't love you back. I have to go through all my days completely alone, with that feeling of being alone being shoved in my face on a daily basis. I have to walk around pretending that I'm not hurting, because I'm not supposed to. I have to go about my nights, crying all alone with not a single shoulder to cry on. I have to continue searching for something I feel like I'll never have, diving in daily and always coming up short. I have to be hurt all over again every single day. No matter how much I try to forget about it, how long I run, how much I shove in that closet, how tall my walls are, that pain just seeps through my entire body, coursing through my veins, feeding off of my very core.

I just can't get away from it.

I don't even have to see them to be remembered by it. Because the memory is everywhere, the hurt is shed in every spot that I pass. Memories of when things weren't like this, when I still had a chance always coming back around and implanting themselves in to my mind until I don't even have room for air that I know I need, until life just isn't worth it. In the end, it's taken over my life, shaken me to the very core. It have overthrown everything I've needed, everything I've lived for.

I sit here, and all I can think about it the pain in my chest, the hole in the very middle of me. I can only feel that pain of rejection, of lostness. I can only see this cloud of fog rising over my head, clouding my thoughts, taking over my emotions. Nothing else matters to me anymore, and I can't help but feel like I am never going to get over this.

So no. It's not really a love triangle.

Because in a love triangle, you have someone to love you, no matter what.