--
"Bella, it's time. Howmuch longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant.
He stared back coldly. With a roll of nausea, I'd realized I'd misunderstood. "When you say we--" I whispered. "I meant my family and myself." Each burn was separate and distinct. I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sound of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak.
"Okay," I said. "I'll come with you."
"You can't, Bella. Where we're going... It's not the right place for you."
"Where you are is the right place for me."
"I'm no good for you, Bella."
"Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."
"My world is not for you," he said grimly.
"What happened with Jasper-- that was nothing, Edward? Nothing"
"You're right," he agreed. "It was actually what was to be expected."
"You promised! In, Phoenix, you promised that you would stay--"
"As long as that was the best for you," he interrupted to correct me.
"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me. Somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you. -- It's yours already."
He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder-- like liquid gold had frozen solid.
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eye on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying. There was a pause as I repeated those words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.
"You...don't...want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
"No."
I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz-- hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and likes, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken.
"Well, that changes things." I was surprised how calm and reasonable my voice sounded. It must be because I was so numb. I couldn't realize what he was telling me. It still didn't make any sense.
He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you... in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm... tired of pretending to be someone I'm not, Bella. I'm not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."
"Don't." My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."
He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. He already had.
"You're no good for me, Bella." He turned his earlier words around, and so I had no argument. How well I knew that I wasn't good enough for him.
I opened my mouth open to say something, and then it closed again. He waited patiently, his face wiped clean of all emotion. I tried again.
"If... that's what you want."
He nodded once.
My whole body went numb. I couldn't feel anything below the neck.
"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much,"
I wonder what he saw on my face, because something flickered across his own face in response. But, before I could identify it, he'd composed his features into the same serene mask.
"Anything." I vowed, my voice faintly stronger.
As I watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again, molten, burning down into mine with an intensity that was overwhelming.
" Don't do anything reckless or stupid," he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
I nodded hopelessly.
His eyes cooled, the distance returned. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself-- for him."
I nodded again. "I will," I whispered.
He seemed to relax just a little.
"And I'll make you a promise in return," he said. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I never existed."
--
I remember the day vividly now. Which is weird because I ceased to remember many of my human memories clearly. Most of them are all blurs. I of course remember the day he left me and the day I became a Vampire. They are both very vivid…very strange.
"Bells." Jacob says from behind me. I turn to look at him over the stack of boxes that lay at the entrance of my room.
"Yeah?"
"Do you have to move?" HE asked leaning on the boxes.
"I can't stay in Forks…I just can't."
"How about La Push, or Seattle, somewhere close?
"I need to move far away Jacob. And no, you're not coming you need to be with your pack, and you need to finish school." I stood up and labeled the last bow before piling three of the seven boxes in my arms.
"Help me Carry these down my truck…please." I added when he grimaced. He just shakes his head and takes the last four.
When all the boxes are in my truck and a tarp in securely over the top of the mattress I turn and give Jacob a hug.
"I'm going to miss you the most." I whispered. It was true me and Jacob were best friends, and he loved me. I knew it. I loved him to, not the same way but still.
"I'm going to miss you to Bells."
"Get Victoria for me." I said as I got in the truck.
"Sure thing!" he called as I drove away as fast as my truck would go. It seems that when you're a vampire you have an urge to go faster. Now I know why Edward….never mind.
It took me six days to drive to Crosby in North Dakota. I bought a small house here and was quite happy with it. I smiled as I pulled into the driveway. I unpacked quickly and ran into the closest forest to hunt.
Crosby was a nice enough town. IT didn't remind of the Cullen's at all. I think I'm going to be very happy here in Crosby