Authoress' Note:

Very crack. Beware. This was supposed to be for flowers of meaning, but I ain't feel like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Key:

Italics—Shikamaru

Regular—Kurohi

For Dimly, cause she gave me the idea.

Be of Good Cheer

For Dimly

"Daddy, bring home flowers."

Answer:

"No."

Line goes dead.

Calls again.

"Daddy, chocolate would be nice too. The little white ones!"

Answer:

"No."

Line goes dead.

Calls again.

"Oh, and Daddy, don't forget the eggnog. That'd be awesome."

Answer:

"Stop calling. I need to keep the line open, and Daddy's very busy."

"Daddy, did you buy me those new super cute hotpants I asked for? —Wait, sorry Daddy, this isn't about me. Get that pretty gold and diamond and sparkly nine-hundred dollar necklace. The rings too! And the bracelet and earrings to match! But instead of my name, put Mommy's, cause, um, I like her name. But it'll be for me… or something…"

"Why would I buy something that expensive for you? Anyways, no, I won't buy it."

"Wait, Daddy no! Don't hang up yet!"

Audible sigh. "Why?"

"Cause uh…" Pause Hesitantly. Think. "What's my name, Daddy? Do you still remember at thirty-five?"

"Yes. Koruhi. We don't go brain dead as we age."

"It means 'cloudy days,' if you remember. It's cloudy outside, Daddy, and Mom's sad! She doesn't want you to be at work! She wants you to come home so you guys can crack your teeth trying to break chestnuts in front of the fireplace!"

"Why would I do that?"

"Forget it! Daddy, just come home! I'm dying of lack of love!"

"Hang up, Koruhi, or I'll burn your presents."

"Daddy, no!"

"Stop it…"

"This isn't fair! Four years ago you said that you'd do anything for me! You said that I was Daddy's little girl… Please Daddy, come home for me and Mom!"

"You were eight. Grow up."

"Naoki's in my class, just so you know. He's pretty cute, with that long hair in his face and all…"

"He's an Uchiha. No."

"Come home Daddy! Or I'll kiss him!"

"Bye."

"I kissed him already!"

"Hang— Wait… what?"

"Nothing. But, um, Mommy's crying. Is that bad?"

Sigh. "Why?"

"Dunno. Maybe it's cause you should be home on CHRISTMAS EVE! Seriously, where do you work? How could you work on this day?"

"Bye."

"There's another man in the house Daddy!"

Quickly: "I'm coming home."

Line goes dead.

"Haha… Mom so owes me ten bucks..."

Owari…? I Guess…

Authoress' Note: That was stupider than I expected. Sorry. There was no humor. Sorry. Just… go away. Don't review. I'll revise it.