Thanks: to my little sis and editor, Nick, who fixed all my idiotic errors.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.

A/N: Hope you enjoy. I'm sorry for those of you that are reading Fullmetal High School, this oneshot jumped in my head and wouldn't leave me alone until I had finished it.

Warning: I think this is slightly OOC, sorry if it is. And obviously its long, but that shouldn't be a bad thing.

Not You

Yes. Such a simple little word, and yet it had caused me so much trouble. Most would think saying yes isn't a bad thing. After all, it's a form of agreement. It means that two people will not argue about something and some sort of an understanding will form between them.

So why was I now freaking out because I had said yes? And to a date none the less. I mean it wasn't a bad thing… right?

Why on earth then was a freaking out about something as silly and as small as a date. I, Winry Rockbell, was going on a date. Shouldn't I be excited, shouldn't I be happy? And yet I wasn't.

See two nights ago, a very nice guy named Travis, asked me to go to dinner with him after he helped me bring some automail supplies to my house. I had been enjoying myself so much that when he asked me out, I immediately said yes without really thinking it through.

Then again, I shouldn't have to. He was nice, funny, and I had to admit, very cute. I should be thrilled to go on a date with someone like this. So why again was I regretting the decision- no wait slash that, to be a decision I would have thought before I actually answered. Why was I regretting the yes to his question?

I hurried downstairs trying hard not to think about it. Maybe I should just go with the flow, you know, let life take me where it will. Then again, I've never really been one to do that sort of thing.

"Wow Winry, you look nice," Al said beaming at me when I entered the living room all ready for my date. I smiled at Al who had become like a little brother to me over the years.

The brothers that I had cared so much about for so long had finally achieved what I was afraid they never would. Actually Al was the only one with his body back, Ed still had his automail but at this point he was okay with it figuring that was the price he had to pay. Just like Ed to go and put more blame on himself.

Al was always seemed to compliment me now a days, I couldn't help but wonder if they were really that sincere or if he was just trying to get on Ed's nerves. After all, I wasn't looking so much better than usual for my date tonight.

I was in just a plain white sundress that seemed to flow nicely when I moved, and my hair was just down. I hadn't felt too motivated to dress up for the date, so I had decided to just go with plain and simple. No reason to get all worked up.

"Winry," I heard a slight whisper and turned to find Ed staring wide eyed at me as he came from the kitchen. I couldn't help but notice how his cheeks had visibly darkened as he looked at me. Suddenly I felt embarrassed about what I was wearing; maybe I had dressed up too much or something.

"You look really pretty," Ed managed to squeak out eyes widening the moment the words had left his mouth.

I could feel my cheeks begin to heat up; compliments from Ed were few and far apart. They always affected me like this, a lot. I never knew what to say back to him and I would stumble over my words and end up just remaining silent. Somehow this time I was able to compose myself though and a small soft "thank you" escaped my lips as I looked directly into Ed's amber eyes.

His eyes always seemed so deep to me. No matter how much he smiled, they always seemed to have a sadness that lingered in them and drew you in curious of how he was able to be so happy and heartbreaking at the same time. This time as I looked at them, it was no different. I was very tempted to just run over, hug him, and tell him everything was alright now. But I knew that Ed would always worry, it was in his nature.

Al's voice interrupted my thoughts, "Yeah Winry, that guy is going to go as red as brother when he sees you," he said not only reminding Ed of the fact I had a date, but also trying to embarrass him as well. I forced myself not to glare at Al as Ed turned back into the pissed off boy that he had been acting like all day.

As Ed stormed past me into the living room, I couldn't help but slightly dread going on this date. It just wasn't worth all the effort, even if he was cute.

I was not looking forward to having an irritated Ed around the house for the next few days if I enjoyed myself. He always seemed to get so mad whenever stuff like this happened. I always noticed but never said anything not wanting to embarrass him about it. It's not in my nature to not want to embarrass Ed, but then again maybe there was another reason that I didn't bring up him being so, what I assumed to be jealous, over my encounters with other boys.

Over the years, Ed and I had been mistaken for a couple more times than I can remember, in all honesty. And somewhere along the line, I had figured out that there was a pretty good chance that Ed actually wanted this, of course I wasn't sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

Me on the other hand… well I tried not to think about it too much. I had known the brothers for so long it was hard to think of one without the other, and therefore I wasn't exactly sure on my feelings for the elder brother.

Just then there was a sharp knock on the door and I realized that for the past five minutes I hadn't moved from where I had been standing at the bottom of the stairs. I hurried to the door knowing that when I opened it I would find Travis there ready to escort me. However I did not count on having Ed get to the door before I did.

He swung the door open wide, only to find exactly what I had expected. However, Ed wasn't exactly what Travis was expecting and for a moment he just stood there a little dumbfounded. I could tell Ed was going to have a field day, poor guy, he hadn't known to never show any kind of weakness to Ed. After all, he would be sure to use it against you.

"Hey Winry, it looks like your brainless date is here," Ed said smirking slightly as he yelled. Did I call it or what?

I quickly closed the distance between me and the door and smoothly navigated myself around Ed so that I might be in between him and my date before I answered him. "Yes, I noticed, but you unfortunately got to the door before I did, are you expecting a date too?" I asked trying to ruffle his feathers.

Just as predicted, a faint blush started to form on Ed's face as he thought about what my implication would mean. I couldn't help but giggle slightly at how easily embarrassed Ed was about everything. Either mentioning his height or him having a date and he was all riled up. It was just way too much fun.

As Ed stood there trying to form words and completely failing at it, Travis went ahead and broke the silence. "Winry, you look absolutely beautiful tonight."

I turned around just to have him take my hand in his and bring it up to his mouth to give a slight peck.

I knew the proper reaction to this, blush, and yet I found myself unable to. It confused me, after all I had gone pink with just one of Ed's compliments, and yet here was an adorable sweet guy at my door not only giving me compliments but being very smooth and kissing my hand. I should be blushing like crazy… and yet nothing of that sort was happening.

Granted, I was still flattered by his actions and words, but in the general sense, it was like getting complimented by a stranger.

Ed on the other hand didn't seem to be too happy about Travis's actions though as he showed us when he immediately swatted Travis's hand away from mine almost growling. I hadn't even noticed that he hadn't released my hand after placing that kiss on it.

I whipped my head around to look at Ed then, and if he had been mad before, well I don't know what he was now. Completely pissed off? I couldn't come up with anything that seemed to fit the state Ed was in at the current moment. All I did know was that I needed to get Travis away from Ed before he decided to kill him.

"Let's go Travis," I said stepping around Ed once again and grabbing my date's arm so to pull him out of the house.

"Wait," Ed demanded in a tone that could kill.

Wait for what? For you to kill or mortally wound my date? I mentally shied away from the word date, it just didn't feel comfortable calling Travis that. Even if I didn't consider him a date and didn't know what to call him, I did know that I didn't want him dead, especially by Ed's hands.

I began to retaliate and tell Ed something about having to get going, and maybe even lying and saying we had reservations and really couldn't stick around, but Travis beat me to the punch.

"What?" he asked politely.

I wanted to kick myself, or better yet, kick Travis. Couldn't he see that Ed was giving off vibes of total annihilation? Couldn't he tell that it was better to get out of here before Ed cracked and did something really stupid? Why would he even give Ed the chance to hurt him? This wasn't going to go well. I turned back to Ed to see what he would say, ready for the worst.

"If you let her get hurt, if she comes home with one scratch that she didn't already have… " I held my breath waiting for the rest. "I will personally come and hunt you down."

"ED!" I screamed on impulse. Death threats were not something I wanted to hear, especially with my date.

I felt Travis lay his hand on my shoulder stopping me from going on and probably killing Ed or maybe worse. "It's okay Winry, let him finish," he said calmly. I was surprised that he didn't seem too fazed by Ed's threat. He did know that this was the Fullmetal Alchemist… right?

Ed seemed slightly taken aback as well. I knew that he was used to someone arguing back with him or making some sort of smartass comeback. I wasn't exactly sure how he might handle someone just listening to him calmly and actually paying attention to what he had to say.

"Ummm… right, the other thing," Ed was having a hard time focusing. Probably because Travis seemed to respect him and wasn't just treating him like a kid. Finally Ed seemed to figure out what he was going to say, "Oh yeah… If you lay one hand on her, or hurt her in any way-"

Geez I knew that this was going to get bad. "I swear I will find you and tear you limb from limb, but keep you alive and conscious so that you can feel every bit of pain until the moment that you die," Ed said fiercely to Travis.

However, it didn't seem to have the proper affect on Travis, or at least I could assume that because when Travis didn't shiver in fear of Ed or back down from the date and instead 

continued to look Ed straight in the eye, Ed seemed to get more and more frustrated with each passing moment.

"I swear on my life that I would never hurt her," my date suddenly said, surprising me. Once again I got a slight sinking feeling in my stomach just thinking of going out with this guy. Certainly it was sweet that he seemed so concerned for my well being, but it just seemed out of place.

On the other hand, Ed worrying about me was nothing new. I had learned a long time ago that no matter what I did, Ed was always going to worry about me. It was almost to be expected.

"Okay, you guys can go now," Ed said taking a step back and making room finally for us to be able to leave.

However, that was not expected. I stared at Ed wide eyed and slightly worried, knowing that it wasn't like him to just step aside and let another man take me anywhere without him. I wanted to look in his eyes and make sure that this was actually Ed, my Ed, and he was letting us go. Ed seemed to be refusing to look up and at me though, as Travis gently lead me out the door. I felt a slight pang in my heart looking at Ed, who in turn looked so sad and frustrated standing there fists clenched and shoulders tight.

When the door closed behind me I knew that image of Ed wasn't going to leave my mind any time soon, so I decided to try and concentrate on the date as much as I could and try to enjoy myself before I could come home tonight and have to figure out what was wrong with Ed.

"So where are we going to?" I asked truly curious as I threaded my arm through Travis's to let him properly escort me to town.

"Well, I thought that we might get something to eat," he said smiling at me. He had a nice smile, gentle and very reassuring. Yet all the same I found myself comparing it to Ed's smile and the way that whenever he smiled, my stomach almost seemed to do a little flip at the sight. I almost frowned at myself. What was I doing thinking about Ed not even a minute into my date?

Thankfully though, I caught myself and was able to give Travis a small smile and a nod reassuring him that would be fine with me. Once again, I found myself thinking now about my smile and how it just felt slightly awkward with Travis. I'm was sure that it would have been that way with any new boy, but all the same I couldn't help but think in the back of my mind that my smile never seemed uncomfortable or forced with the brothers.

As we walked to town, we began to converse, and eventually it began to drift to automail, and I couldn't help but tell him about some of the new pieces I had begun to work on. He nodded at all my in depth descriptions and truly seemed to be listening to me. I was surprised when he even went as far to make some suggestions that weren't half bad. I couldn't help but tease him that he knew about automail, and he admitted to me how he had dabbled in the subject matter a little and he found it pretty fascinating.

I also couldn't help but feel relieved at this revelation of him. I had never known that anyone at all in town was at all interested in automail besides me and Grandma. At least, that was my reaction until he started telling me all the better points about using a box-end wrench rather than an open-end wrench.

I was immediately repulsed by the idea of using such a tool. I had always found that the open-end wrench had always been more reliable than any other type of instrument. Yet, as we walked into one of the nicest restaurants in town, still not that fancy, I found myself nodding at he was saying and even agreeing with what he was stating.

As I half-heartedly listened to him talk, the back of my mind was whirling trying to figure out why exactly I wasn't getting mad at him, telling him off, and then explaining why the open-end wrench was a superior tool.

If this had been Ed, he would have already had numerous bumps on his head from where I would have hit him for being such an idiot and trying to be such a know-it-all in matters that he did not understand. After all, Travis hadn't ever actually studied automail like I had. I should be correcting him, and yet even with this knowledge I continued to just smile at him and let him continue as I smiled sweetly. I swear I was going to get the biggest headache from this date and all the confusion it was causing me.

Thankfully, as we were seated, with Travis even going as far as to pull out my chair for me, a change of subject occurred as we began to tell one another about our childhoods. I told him all about how Ed, Al, and I used to play all the time and how they would fight over everything.

Then he did the same for me telling me all about how he had been a slightly wild and would run away from his mother and hide for hours just to see what she would do. I could tell that he was trying to be funny, so I laughed at his stories even though I could think of a million things that were funnier. For instance, all the stories I knew about Ed, Al, and I being foolish and silly when we were kids, were all much better tales.

Yet all the same I found myself continuing to giggle at his accounts of his childhood, as if I was completely amused by them. It's not even like they were bad, but they just weren't my type of humor. Still I continued to laugh, confusing myself once again as to why I couldn't just act like myself with Travis.

By the time that we left the restaurant, the sun was beginning to get low but we still had a few hours before the actual sunset, so it was no surprise to me when Travis asked if I would like to go for a stroll with him though town. Knowing that I had no good and solid reason to say no, I said yes and once again put my arm through his so that he could lead the way.

Immediately Travis began to talk once again about anything and everything. Normally I might have been irked that I now I couldn't seem to get a word in between all of his constant chatter, but for once I was at a loss for words. I listened to him and nodded, smiled, and laughed in all the right places, but it felt uncomfortable. Nothing that I could have said seemed to be relevant to whatever he was talking about, and on more than one occasion I was tempted to tell him a 

story about Ed, Al, and I. But I figured that probably wouldn't be the smartest move especially after that move Ed had pulled at the house.

Thus, I continued to let him talk my ears off nonstop knowing that I had nothing to really add to the conversation. As I listened to him speak, my mind couldn't help but once again betray me and think back on the many conversations I'd had with Ed over the course of my life.

I couldn't remember a single instance where I had nothing to say to him and that he didn't have something to say to me, then again I could think of times that we hadn't had a need to say a word to each other and just sat in a comfortable silence in one another's presence.

Comfortable. That probably was the best one word description of me and Ed's relationship with each other… and yet, it wasn't even close.

He was constantly doing things that couldn't help but make me feel uncomfortable, but almost in a good way. Such as how he had complimented me earlier. That had been anything but comfortable, making my stomach flip and causing me not have any idea on what to say to him. And I knew that he had felt awkward from the way he had immediately clamped his mouth shut and turned a bright red.

Being with Ed was confusing to me. On one hand, I was completely at ease and could always speak my mind and hit him over the head whenever he was being an idiot, which was quite often. Then, we had those moments that would be something as simple as our eyes meeting, and my knees would suddenly almost feel weak and I always seemed to hold my breath until something like Al shouting would interrupt.

How was that even possible? My relationship with Ed was like an oxymoron. Does that even make sense?

"Winry," Travis said suddenly snapping me back into the real world.

"Yes?" I asked trying to remember the last thing he had said to me, feeling guilty once again for thinking about Ed rather than focusing on the date. Fortunately, Travis hadn't seemed to notice me zoning him out slightly.

"I know that it's not the end of the date, and that I'm traditionally supposed to wait until the end… but I just can't wait any longer." He said staring me in the eyes and slowly moving closer and closer to me.

I knew exactly what he was going to do, and I didn't do a thing to stop it. The moment his lips touched mine, I knew something was wrong though.

Nothing bad could have been said about that kiss. It was sweet, gentle, and everything a first kiss between a couple should have been. His lips were soft against mine and as I pushed back against him with my own, I knew that I should have been enjoying it… but I wasn't.

Through my closed lids, a image of Ed smiling at me broke through my thoughts and I immediately pulled away feeling slightly guilty and yet almost giddy as I finally had realized what had been wrong with this whole situation.

"I have to go," I said as I looked up at Travis who looked very confused but then he began to smile at me. I realized that the moment we had broken away from one another I had started to smile unknowingly. I mentally cursed myself realizing that I was sending Travis mixed signals and felt a little guilty afraid that I might hurt him.

"Sorry," I said before turning around and beginning to run back the way we came from and towards my home.

"Does this mean that I get a second date!" I heard him call out from behind me.

"Yes!" I said immediately, once again not thinking. It took me a second to realize how I had answered and quickly stopped to clear up what I had just said, well more like to reverse what I had just said. Geez, I really needed to stop answering questions before I had fully comprehended them.

"I mean No!" I shouted back still not being able to stop smiling from everything that I had just realized. I began to run again continuing to yell back over my shoulder. "I'm so sorry Travis, I know that this is an overused line but I swear it's not you, it's me. I can't really explain more, it's so confusing and kind of awkward, but just know that the girl that gets you will be a very lucky one indeed."

If it was at all possible I began to pick up speed holding my dress down so that it couldn't fly up with the slight breeze that brushed past me. I hoped that Travis wasn't too upset with the way things had ended, and I knew that I hadn't probably handled that the best way that I could have, but all the same my lips couldn't stop smiling with what I had finally realized.

Finally, I made it to the house and burst through the front doors shouting "ED!"

I looked around frantically when no one answered me right away. Grandma came out of the work room and was wiping grease from her hands, so I could tell she had been working, and Al was sitting on the couch in the living room seemingly reading something until I had come in shouting causing him to drop his book and leave it on the floor where it had fallen as he looked at me with wide eyes.

"What's wrong Winry?!" he demanded looking me over checking for some sign of damage I could only imagine. I smiled broadly at him knowing that he was just worried about me when I had came in shouting.

"I'm fine Al," I said smiling even broader, "probably better than fine."

Grandma raised one eyebrow at me and I knew that her and Al were expecting some kind of explanation, and at the moment, I really didn't feel like giving one. "I just really need to talk to 

Ed," I said with a tone that meant that's all I was going to tell them and so there was no even reason to ask.

"But-" Al started to retaliate being his curious self.

"Ed went for a walk about an hour ago," Grandma interrupted the younger brother. "You probably can find him somewhere by the river, he seemed really upset about something," she said walking back into the workshop as if nothing had just happened.

"Thanks," I said already running back out the door knowing that Al would probably be speechless. (Later I found out from him that he already sort of had an idea of what was going on and just went back to reading hoping that everything would work out okay.)

As I started toward the river, I realized that I had no idea what I was going to say to Ed, and for once I decided to completely wing it. While before I had been running, now I slowed down so that I could continue to look for Ed. Because of the proximity of the river, trees tended to grow closely, and I wanted to be sure that I didn't miss Ed sitting behind one. Plus it was getting darker by the second and I didn't want to run into something.

I hoped that Ed wasn't too mad that he wouldn't talk to me or something. I was pretty sure that I knew what he was so mad about, but all the same, I could be wrong, but that thought made me feel almost sick and I shoved it from my mind deciding to rely heavily on my instincts.

Finally, I saw a pair of legs poking out from one of the trees that was on the edge of the wooded area and near the river's edge. I should have guessed that was where he would be, sitting back against one of the trees near the water.

I walked even slower and very quietly up to where he was leaning back. I couldn't help but notice that he was scowling at the river and resisted the urge to laugh at him. It's not like he could do anything to hurt the river, so whatever he was mad about, it wasn't going to be fixed by him glaring at the river.

"Why the hell do I have to be so damn noble?!" he suddenly exclaimed while grabbing a small rock from beside him and throwing it at the river in annoyance.

I couldn't help it, I laughed.

Ed was immediately alerted to my presence, and he quickly got up slightly pink in the face. I hoped that was a good sign for me. Maybe, just maybe I still had a chance.

As I continued to laugh, I noticed Ed slowly becoming more and more annoyed with me and my laughter directed at him, but every time I looked at him and saw that scowl, I couldn't help but begin to laugh harder being reminded of how he had just thrown a rock at the river. My stomach was starting to hurt from all this amusement.

Ed must have realized that I wasn't going to stop anytime soon, and so he had sat back down and seemed to just be waiting for me to calm down. After a few minutes, my laughter slowly began to die down and I plopped myself down right next to Ed so that I might lean against the same tree as him.

I immediately felt him tense up next to me and could only assume it was because of the proximity of each other. My right arm was as close as it could be to his without touching it, and yet sitting so close to Ed, my senses felt slightly heightened, and I could have sworn that I could feel the presence of his arm next to mine, if that made any sense.

For a moment, we both just sat in a comfortable silence just thinking. With every passing second, I began to get nervous as I started doubting what I had just assumed before. What if Ed didn't actually like me? Why did he let me go on that date? Maybe I hadn't come to the right conclusion, maybe Ed just loved me like a brother. But then why did he seem to get jealous of every guy that ever seemed to get the slightest interest in me?

I couldn't help but take a slight glance over at Ed, hoping that by some miracle, looking at him would answer all my questions. However, the moment I peeked over at him, I caught him doing the same thing but at me, and once again our eyes met like earlier. I almost gasped at the way he was looking at me.

If I had ever been an overly emotional girl, I would have said that his eyes were filled with love. As it was though, I felt like he was looking directly into my soul and I suddenly felt all the more guilty about my date and saying yes to it. Then again, it had been the reason I had finally recognized my true feelings, so you might say that I couldn't be that mad about it.

"Ed?" I asked quietly, yet it seemed almost to wake up Ed who had just continued to look at me. I couldn't help but smile slightly at the thought of Ed zoning out while looking at me. It made my stomach do strange things.

"Y-yeah," he managed to stammer out without sounding too much like a fool, but for someone like me who had known him all his life I could hear the nervousness in the edge of his voice. What he had to be nervous about, I had no idea.

I took a deep breath before I asked my question, half afraid of the answer. "Why did you let me go on that date?" I asked truly curious.

For a second, our eyes remained connected, but I could tell that Ed was uncomfortable with the question when he broke our contact and looked away from me and back at the river before answering it.

"I can't stop you from dating, Winry," he said so calmly that once again I was afraid that I had misinterpreted everything. "Actually, if anything I should encourage it."

I felt my heart sink at his confession. I had been wrong. I had hoped too much.

"After all," he continued and I couldn't help but listen even though all I really wanted to do was go home and have a good cry. "You deserve to be happy and you should have someone that will do that for you," he said as his jaw tightened and fists clenched at what he had just said.

Looking at him I realized what he was really saying and I was a little mad. The idiot didn't think he was good enough for me?! Oh I wanted to hit him over the head a million times. Whenever was he going to get over this 'I'm such a terrible person' thing?

Before I could do anything about it though, Ed suddenly had a revelation. "Wait a second, if you're here with me, then you aren't on your date, what are you doing?!" he demanded.

I rolled my eyes at Ed's delayed reaction, sometimes I wondered how he could be this great state alchemist well known around the country when he couldn't even put the simplest things together at times. "Well, I'm sitting next to you, and you certainly dumber than I thought if you can't even figure that out."

Ed scowled at my answer, and I looked smugly back at him. Hey, he put me through so much inner turmoil so it was his turn. Plus it always was fun making Ed annoyed; he was too much fun to mess with.

"You know what I mean," Ed said crossing his arms and trying his hardest to look intimidating, however for me it didn't quite work because I could tell that he wasn't actually annoyed this time, more so just frustrated.

I sighed giving in and deciding to tell Ed exactly how the date had gone. "I already went on my date and it was good." I said trying to sound casual about the entire thing as I watched the river flow by.

When Ed didn't say anything for about two minutes, I knew without even looking over at him that he was struggling with his next question for me.

"Winry," he said recapturing my attention. I looked back over at him to show I was listening and with that, Ed continued. "If the date was so good… well… shouldn't you go back to him and continue enjoying yourself?"

I could hear the strain, disappointment, and slight sadness in his voice as he stumbled across his words. It seemed that Ed sometime had just as hard of time speaking as I did. I could only hope that it was for the same reason as me.

Looking back at the river I decided to answer his question to the best of my ability. "I had a really fun time on the date and for the most part there was only one thing that was wrong with it, but it was pretty important," I admitted to him.

Ed jumped to his feet suddenly freaking out, "He tried to take advantage of you didn't he!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "I swear I'm going to kill him!" he bellowed out while starting to storm away from me and in the direction of town.

In an instant I was on my feet yelling back at Ed, "Stop jumping to conclusions Ed! He was a perfect gentleman and didn't try anything of the sort," but then I realized that wasn't the complete truth and added one last thing notably quieter than the rest, "Although he did kiss me."

When Ed heard that last part his whole face went white as if he had seen a ghost. I had to hold back a giggle at his expression, after all, it was priceless. Yes, I had way too much fun messing with him. I decided to continue seeing that Ed wasn't going to be able to talk for a while.

"It was a very good date," I said while sliding back down to where I had been sitting before and patting the ground next to me telling Ed to sit back down without words. I was extremely thankful when he did so without protest.

"In a way, the problem with the date started before it had even begun." I refused to look at Ed as I recounted the events for him. I was afraid that if I did I would get trapped by his eyes once again and forget what I was saying or blurt out something that didn't need to be said yet.

"During the entire thing, I found myself laughing at things that he said even though it wasn't that funny, and then I agreed with stuff that I don't really, because I didn't want to argue with him," I admitted feeling slightly ashamed of my behavior but still wanting to share about it with Ed.

"You just need to get more comfortable with him and then you will see the humor in his jokes and yell at him and maybe even smack him over the head with a couple of wrenches," Ed said interrupting and smirking slightly at me.

I didn't know if he was just relieved that I didn't have as good of a time on the date or if he was just trying to cheer me up, but at the moment it didn't really matter to me, and I laughed at his statement.

Smiling I retorted back, "Would you just listen." I took a deep breath trying to collect my thoughts once again, and things turned back to be a little more serious once again.

"I also kept comparing everything he did to a different guy that I know, and not that Travis's way of doing stuff was bad, but it was just different from this other guy and I think I like this other guy's way of doing stuff even if at times it's a little over the top and embarrassing," I divulged to him hoping that I wouldn't have to explain to him who exactly this 'other guy' was.

"Then again, that's what I like about him so much, because when around me he is himself no matter how crazy that is and he never tries to act like someone else. And not only that, but I'm the same way around him, I don't have to act with him, I can always just be myself," I finished finally willing myself to look at Ed.

What I found was not to my liking, I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised though. Ed was currently grinding his teeth together and I the jealousy he was feeling was practically visible. Honestly I didn't know how Ed couldn't put this together. Who else did I act completely like 

myself around besides him? Even around Al, I made myself calm down a little and not whack him over the head so much.

"You should go to him," he suddenly said through clenched teeth and catching me off guard in the process.

"Huh?" I asked confused.

"That guy you can be yourself with… you should go to him," Ed said closing his eyes as if that might dull some of the pain that he was currently going though.

I might have laughed at the situation if it wasn't so serious, the irony of it all.

"Well that's exactly what I decided to do," I admitted waiting for Ed to get it. Unfortunately he seemed to be too upset to really put it together yet. I sighed in slight annoyance and continued to talk. "After Travis kissed me…" I paused for just a second looking at Ed and watching how at the word 'kissed' his entire body seemed to tighten up in response.

I decided to just spit the rest out before he could get any more upset. "I ran away from him apologizing and telling him that I couldn't go out with him anymore. And I'll tell you a secret Ed," I paused trying to capture Ed's attention.

Even when he looked at me straight in the eye trying not to look quite so annoyed, I motioned for him to lean closer to me not wanting to shout the next thing I had to say. He rolled his eyes at me and leaned closer so that only a couple inches separated us from each other.

"I realized something… in the end there really was only one thing wrong with him that pulls all the other stuff together," I whispered barely being able to contain the butterflies that were flapping around in my stomach.

Even as upset as he was, Ed was still curious and he gave me a questioning look confused by what I meant. Being so close to Ed was messing with my head, I suddenly felt lightheaded and almost woozy. I decided that I was tired of trying to hint to him with words and so to answer his unspoken question, I erased the space that existed between us touching my lips to his.

I could tell he was surprised when he froze at the contact, but as I pressed gently against him with my lips, he couldn't help but react and his lips were pressing back to mine in an instant. My mind stopped working as I felt him begin to deepen the kiss making it a little more rough and forceful. It was just like Ed.

Unfortunately, Ed seemed to realize what he was doing, grabbed my shoulders, and pushed me away from him powerfully.

We just stared at each other for a moment and I felt once again as if Ed was looking down into my soul as he stared straight into my eyes. Ed's lips moved as he tried to phrase the question that I knew was stuck in his head.

Finally he was able to blurt out, "I'm confused."

I couldn't help but smile at Ed's helplessness and replied smoothly, "He's not you."

It took a second for Ed to process my words, and when he did, he had another question up his sleeve, "So… I'm the other guy?" he asked suddenly very nervous once again.

Once again I felt the urge to laugh, but I held it back knowing that Ed wasn't joking and that he was completely serious. "Yeah," I said quietly feeling a little embarrassed by my actions. Maybe I had been wrong, maybe Ed didn't like me the way that I liked him. Maybe- but my thoughts were interrupted as this time Ed touched his lips to mine, initiating the kiss.

My stomach did a little flop and I had this feeling that no matter how many times he would kiss me, Ed was always going to have this sort of affect on me.


"I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them about everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you."- Anonymous (as far as I know)