CHAPTER FOUR
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"Dr. Weir?" The voice in her earpiece interrupted her reading.
"Yes, Major."
"Ma'am. Um, they're gone." She could practically hear the wince in Lorne's voice.
"Excuse me."
"The Colonel. McKay. All of them. They're no longer in the brig."
She put down her tablet, pinching the bridge of her nose against the headache developing. "How is that possible, Major?"
"Someone on the security team must have let them out. I'm having Wills pull the surveillance tapes right now. I'm sorry, Doctor. I should have posted a guard."
"No, Major. It's alright. They weren't charged with anything and we were really just trying to keep them out of trouble."
"Put that group together, and trouble just happens." Evan half chuckled.
"It seems to be the case, doesn't it?" Elizabeth allowed herself a small smile. Leave it to John Sheppard to bust himself out of his own brig. "I'll have Young look for them on the internal sensors. Continue with the rest of plan to distribute the neurotoxin antidote and we'll let you know where they are."
She entered the solemn control room. Most of the shift had pulled a double shift and were now entering their third. "Kevin, could you please adjust the city sensors to locate Colonel Sheppard's team and Dr. Beckett?"
The airman acknowledged her request and began tapping away at his keyboard. His brows drew together and he went through the commands again.
"Problem?"
"They're not registering on the sensors." He shrugged. "None of them."
"Has anyone accessed the Jumpers?"
"No, Ma'am."
"And no one has gone through the gate." Elizabeth rubbed her forehead. "Okay, that means one thing." She tapped her earpiece. "Major Lorne."
"Lorne, here."
"There's no signals on the sensors. Our fugitives have made they're way to the bottom of the city. You're going to have to find them the old fashion way."
Evan's deadpan tone answered back. "Oh, wonderful."
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"John!"
Toni's voice boomed through the room, making everyone jump.
"Oops," she giggled. "I found a sound system."
"Where the hell did you go?" He stood up, looking around, swaying a bit as he did.
"Here!" Teyla came sliding out on to a small stage at the opposite side of the vast room. Her stocking feet slid on the polished floor and she held her balance for a moment before Toni dashed out to slide behind her and took the Athosian out at the knees.
"You okay?" John swerved through tables and chairs in their direction.
Both women lay there in a pile laughing hysterically. Toni's arm shot up. "My bad. Sorry."
"There's a back stage?" John hoisted himself on to the stage.
"Yeah." Toni rolled over to her belly. "All kinds of stuff too."
"Really?" He flopped down to match her pose, facing her nose to nose. "What kind of stuff?"
"There are rooms that have tables, large mirrors and closets." Teyla sat on the stage edge.
"Like a dressing room?" Carson passed the second, and now half empty, bottle to Rodney. "Do you thing this was a theater?"
"With a bar?" Amelia scoffed.
"Strip-joint maybe?" Laura laughed.
Rodney about spit out the drink in his mouth. "Ancient strippers?!"
"I don't know, guys. I don't see any poles." Sheppard chuckled.
"Hey, some of the best routines only involve a chair." Toni shimmied her shoulders.
Staring straight down her cleavage, an evil grin spread across his face. "You want to show me?"
"Get a room!" Rodney threw a small cushion from one of the chairs, hitting Sheppard on the back. The rest of them around the table laughed as the Colonel feigned injury.
Ronon took another swig off the bottle and passed it to Amelia. "What's a strip-joint?"
She took a long drink of the spiced flavored liquor before standing. Her hips swayed seductively side to side. Laura immediately jumped in with a "ta-da-da-dum" sing-song rhythm. Amelia reached up and pulled the clip from her hair and shook out her long locks. Her other hand unzipped her jacket.
Ronon's brows practically rose to his hairline.
"Ladies!" Carson squeaked.
Rodney smacked the doctor's chest with his knuckles and cursed through clenched teeth. "Shut it!"
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Radek rose up onto his toes to see over the shoulders of the Marines gathered around Lorne. "Major!"
"I want teams of four." The Major addressed the soldiers. "I don't expect any real trouble, but I'd rather have the manpower together in case they decide to play keep-away and split up on us." He noticed the small man at the back of the group. "Yeah, Doc. You got something?"
"Um, yes." Zelenka edged his way forward. "I think I have a place for you to start. See, even though the sensors are not working in those areas, I can monitor power consumption. There is a section here that has been recently activated and there's no reason for it to be. We don't have anyone working in that quadrant."
He showed the Major and the others the location on the city schematics. Lorne nodded. "Okay, everyone stick to the original plan, my team will take that area."
Everyone scattered to their assigned areas. As they marched down the halls of the formally flooded area, worry began to eat at his gut. He'd caught the Colonel and his team in a frenzied food fight. What would they – could they – be up to now. He didn't want to put his C.O. in any sort of embarrassing position with his men.
"Lieutenant, I want you to understand that whatever happens when we find the Colonel, it's completely confidential. I do not want to hear any wild stories, ever."
"Yes, sir. What happens in Vegas, sir."
"Good."
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The group sat around a table near the bar, telling stories. A task made more difficult because each turn involved a new rule and failure meant another drink.
"So, the whole class had to pile on this bus," Rodney slurred. "And this little blond, Becky Gram, she was seriously hot –"
"Agh!!!" Toni yelled pointing.
Carson and Laura feel back laughing.
"Wha-?" Rodney look around.
Sheppard laughed, patting his head and rubbing his stomach at the same time. "Again, buddy, you did it again!"
"You can't help yourself, can you?" Laura giggled.
She was the one to set the rule that you couldn't use the words "seriously hot". Ronon pushed the bottle into McKay's hands. The scientist had to drink again.
Toni leaned into John, muttering quietly. "Another shot or two and he's out."
"You're right." He answered out of the side of his mouth.
"You!" Ronon practically pushed the Colonel from his chair. Toni cackled in response.
John grabbed the bottle from Rodney's hands and swallowed. He was not allowed to speak without the hand movements. With a mischievous grin, he moved as if to kiss Toni's shoulder. She smiled, coming closer. He bit her playfully instead.
"Ow!"
He only raised an eyebrow.
"You're turn." McKay turned to Carson.
"Okay, so-" the doctor began carefully, not wanting to say 'medical' and careful to replace the word 'summer' with 'penis'.
"Wait!" Ronon interrupted. They all began speaking at once. "Shh! I hear something."
The all fell silent. Faint footsteps reached their ear. "Someone's coming." Ronon verified.
"Is there a way out?" Carson looked around.
"Only that door." McKay moaned.
They all looked around for ideas. Sheppard stood up. "I'm going to go check in back. Look for something to cause a distraction."
Everyone spread out. Amelia picked up a bowl, looked at the coolers full of foul algae. "Hey, Toni. . ."
The marine biologist immediately took the hint. They both dipped the big bowls in the disgusting stuff and took up positions beside the door. The waited, trying not to giggle.
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"You have got to be kidding me!" Major Evan Lorne wiped the smelly slime from his face. He coughed, trying to control his gag reflex. Turning to the equally disgusted Marines, he barked. "That's it. We're done playing. Stunners! Just take then down, now!"
The five soldiers burst through the double doors in formation, flashes systematically covering the huge room. Toni went down, as did Carson and Amelia. Laura left the cover of an over turned table in an attempt to reach Beckett, and was stunned for her efforts.
"Hey! Hey! Hey!" John screamed from behind the edge of the stage. "Knock it off!"
"I can reach them before they take me down." Ronon growled from his right, instantly sober.
"No." Sheppard muttered back. "Those are our people."
"Yeah, attacking us."
"I said stand down!" John yelled again.
The firing stopped. Lorne called out. "Sir, you need to come with us. You're experiencing effects of food poisoning."
"What? No!" The Colonel practically squeaked. "Major, we're just having a little fun here. And, as a matter of fact, you should feel damn lucky if I don't throw you in the brig for shooting at your commanding officer." John waggled a finger, even though he was hiding behind a wall and not facing the Major.
"Sir, just come out. Doctor Weir –"
Teyla made a dash for Rodney, who had stood up too quickly and promptly passed out. Her usual graceful speed was hampered by the drink, causing her feet to tangle. It gave one of the Marine enough of an opportunity. Teyla hit the floor beside Rodney, stunned.
"Stop it!" John yelled again.
Ronon peeked out quickly. "They got Teyla. Toni's down too."
A low curse escaped Sheppard's lips. "Son of a bitch." He stepped around the corner. "Damn it, this is an order –" and was promptly stunned. Ronon flew out of hiding. Three direct shots connected with his chest and he staggered a few more steps before darkness over took him.
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Bright light burned through his eyelids even before attempting to open them a crack. "Oh, okay. Ow." Rodney whined. Florescent lights, white ceiling, smell of disinfectant. Infirmary. Great.
McKay lolled his head, which felt far heavier than normal, to his right. Teyla occupied the bed. Making the monumental effort, he looked the other way. Carson looked back with unfocused eyes. They stared blearily at one another for a moment before the Scotsman mumbled something unintelligible. He licked his lips, trying again. "Wha 'appened?"
"Don't remember anything after, um, Teyla teaching Cadman a dance of something or another." McKay whispered.
"Um, the fertility dance. Yeah, you were really drunk." The doctor croaked.
"Will you two shut up," a baritone voice rumble from across the room.
"Uh, yeah, what he said." Toni spoke into her pillow.
"Oh good!" One of the nurses bounced into the room. "Everyone's awake!" They all cringed, moaning in pain or scowling as hard as they could. She 'accidentally' knocked a metal tray full of equipment, making more clatter, seeming satisfied with their discomfort.
Sheppard propped himself up on an elbow, rubbing his face with the other hand. Fuzzy images of Marines baring down upon them formed in his mind. He grumbled. "Lorne shot me."
"And me." Teyla covered her eyes with her hands.
"Me too." Ronon growled.
"All of us, huh?" Sheppard tried to sit up, but the room spun wildly and his stomach flipped in protest. He only made it to a sitting position. "I'll kill him."
"No, Colonel, you won't." Dr. Weir marched into the room, looking stern. "I want you all up and in the conference room in fifteen minutes." She turned on her heels and left.
"Just great." Sheppard muttered, dread filling his gut as images from the previous day solidified.
"I think I'm gonna puke." Cadman muttered into her hands.
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In fresh clothes but looking hung-over and haggard, the motley group entered the conference room. There sat Dr. Weir, Major Lorne and Zelenka. They, too, looked tired. Sheppard stopped, wary of the smug satisfaction in their eyes.
"John, everyone, please take a seat." Elizabeth showed only the slightest up turn to corner of her mouth. "I thought you should all be briefed on the events of the last few days. It seems a neurotoxin was found in the fish you served at your little Super Bowl party. It lowered the inhibitions and impaired the judgment of everyone who ate it."
Toni and John sunk further into their chairs.
She continued. "This resulted in missed duty checks, failed assignment, and several disorderly activities. Now, with Radek's help, and the coordination of Major Lorne's teams, we were able to develop and administer an antidote. Still, I thought it was prudent that you all see some of the havoc all of this caused."
Elizabeth turned to Zelenka, who picked up the remote and pointed it towards the big screen. Lorne rested his chin in his hand, and smiled wickedly at the group. The lights dimmed and crisp, clear security footage began to play. It showed Carson and McKay, belly down on stretchers being pushed by medical staff and military personnel.
"Ugh." Rodney rubbed his brow, embarrassed.
"Oh," Elizabeth smiled sweetly at the group who caused her so much headache over the last few days. "Just wait. There's sooo much more. We're going to watch the whole thing. I'm sure you all will find this entertaining. I know I will."
End.
A/N: I know I probably don't deserve it after abandoning this tale for so long, but I would still love to hear any reviews you wish to give!!! Thanks!