101 Ways To Bug the Colonel

Prologue

Roy Mustang glared at his subordinates from behind his desk. Edward Elric Glared back, fuming. Lt. Colonel Maes Hughes raised his eyebrow, smirking. 1st Lt. Riza Hawkeye was putting together a gun. 2nd Lt. Jean Havoc yawned. Alphonse Elric looked around the room, a nervous look on his face. Lt. Heymans Breda bit into his hotdog. And Master Seargent Kain Fuery was petting Riza's dog, Black Hayate.

"I DON'T understand why you people continue to bug me!" Mustang said, annoyed.

"Because your you," Hughes said.

"Because it's the only way to keep you in line, sir." Hawkeye said, not taking her eyes off her work.

"Um..." Al began to say. "BECAUSE MY BROTHER IS A HORRIBLE ROLE MODEL!!" The younger Elric shrieked before he burst into tears and ran out of the room. Ed's face grew red with anger.

"No!! I'm a perfect role model! I mean.. A perfectly TALL role model! I'M NOT SHORT!! YOUR ALL GIANTS! ARRRGH!" And that was Ed's rant before he stormed out of the office. The other members of the group blinked and slowly turned their heads to face the door. After what seemed like an eternity, Edward walked back into the room and calmly got back into his seat. His subordinates followed their heads with Ed until he sat in his chair. Edward sighed.

"Why do I continue to bug you?" Ed followed up on Mustangs question. "Simple. Because your an arrogant power abusing Colonel with a God Complex that won't get any work done without having Hawkeye threaten him with a gun!"

"Yeah, what he said!" Havoc, Falman, Breda, and Fuery agreed.

"But mostly because..." Hughes started to say.

"It's Way to easy to do, and way to much fun to stop." Everyone said in unison. Mustang rolled his eyes.

"Psh. Yeah, right. Everyone knows I'm a calm, cool, and sophisticated guy." Everyone but Roy and Riza bust out laughing.

Edward wiped a tear from his eye and looked up at the Colonel. "Y-you were SERIOUS?!" he asked, stunned. "You are so totally Not 'calm, cool, and Sophisticated'! You're Crazy and... Well, CRAZY!!"

"He's right, sir. Their really should be a story called '101 Ways to Bug the Colonel.'" Havoc said.

"That's it!" Mustang Declared.

"Whats what?"

"You have to find 101 ways to bug me, or else I win!" Roy explained.

"Oh, you're on Pretty Boy!" Ed said. Maes's face turned into a goofy grin.

"Speaking of pretty, here's some pictures of Elysia! She's turning 5 in 8 months!" Everyone groaned. It was going to be a LONG year.