Distorted Arythmatics

And there he went again. Up on the counter, through the high window and gone. A whickering was heard outside, followed by the sound of flying hooves disappearing in the distance.

Victoria let out a sigh and lowered herself down on the floor in the corner of her kitchen. Was this all she was ever to expect? A few fleeting moments of romance, a passionate kiss and then see him running off again? When would his quest for justice finally end?! And what if it never would? She so much longed for a family of her own: a husband, children... Not just any husband, but Zorro as her husband and father of her children. And then without his mask of course. If only she could make him understand that she was getting tired of waiting! Nearly seven years it had been, and still the end of tyranny and oppression was nowhere in sight. Why - if he couldn´t quit being Zorro yet - why couldn´t they get married and live their lives together anyway?! Why would he have to give up Zorro for that first? He could still go out as Zorro even when he was married, couldn´t he? She wouldn´t be the one to stop him! She knew too well how necessary it was to keep check on the alcalde, and to assist the garrison to catch the occasional outlaws and robbers. So why couldn´t they live the rest of his life together, as man and wife? His work as Zorro was like his job. So what! What difference does it make if a husband goes out to work on a ranch, or be a blacksmith or a store-keeper, or to fight for justice? It wouldn´t put her in any more danger than she was in now; even now the alcalde arrested her every now and then for ´being in league with the known outlaw Zorro´.

And surely, if only she knew who he was, they could start pretending to fall in love with each other in normal life, with the happy outcome of marriage without Zorro being publicly unmasked. It would make things so much easier. Why couldn´t he see that? Why was he always running away? She was getting tired of this sheer endless waiting. If only she knew it would end some day. Some day soon. But she felt she was growing old. In a few years she would turn thirty. The bloom of her life was nearly over, and all she ever did was wait! Wait, wait, wait! Wait till her hair would turn grey and Zorro would be a hobbling old codger!

She chuckled involuntarily at the thought of an aged Zorro, with a white mustache and stiff with rheumatics, carefully kneeling down and asking her with a tiny, quavery voice if she would marry him now. And she, an old beguine with white hair in a bun, a thousand wrinkles and hard of hearing, putting her hand behind her ear and demanding in a loud voice: "What did you say?"

No! That was not to happen! Better still: she was not going to let that happen! She was in the bloom of her life and she wanted the man she loved at her side! She wanted to love and to hold him, whenever she´d want to! She wanted to experience his passion without holding back; she wanted a life with him! A life, a family, children...!

She stiffened as an itchy idea struck her mind, and she blushed deeply with the recklessness of it. It was scandalous, shameless, stupid maybe... but she was sure that indeed it would work!

Carefully she tinkered around the idea. It was completely immoral, but what if she could make Zorro marry her? After all, there were certain ways... He was gentleman enough to take his responsibility in that case, if only to avoid her being despised by the whole town. And after all: what harm was there? She loved him, he loved her, they were already secretly engaged, and they both longed passionately for the day they could be united. All it could do was making both his and her dearest wish come true, so... why not? She´d just have to give him a little push, otherwise that vision of the rheumatic Zorro and the hardhearing beguine Victoria would definitely come true.

Deeply in thought she got up and started finishing her last chores in the tavern. And still deeply in thought she climbed the stairs to her room, got ready for the night and got into bed. Her bed... Would she really dare to get him...? It was vile, it was plain unscrupulous... but it was for a good cause. In the end they´d both get exactly what they wanted, so... She took a deep breath, and slowly breathed out again. Would she...? Was she really ready for this? Oh, nonsense... All her friends from school had gotten married by now, most of them already had several children. So why shouldn´t she be ready...

Another deep breath. "Yes," she said quietly to herself. "Yes. I am going to do it." She sounded very determined all of a sudden. "I´m going to do it. He loves me and I love him. We deserve to be happy together now; we´ve been waiting far too long!"

She turned over to her side and shuddered slightly. She couldn´t help it: it was a scary thought, no matter how she longed for him. And exactly how this was to be accomplished was a big mystery. All her mother had ever said about the matter was that she should not go to bed with a man, for if she did, she would get children for sure. Now that she was all grown up, she suspected that there was a little more to it than just lying in bed side by side with a man. Still, she wasn´t quite sure of what that little more implied. It had probably something to do with the way Zorro kissed her. Whenever he pulled away for propriety-reasons - yes, it was always he who pulled away out of propriety, not she! - she always felt that they were breaking off something bigger than just a kiss. What could such kisses lead to? Going to bed with a man? And then what? She wondered if he knew... But what if he had no idea either, and they would just lie next to each other, not able to determine what action should be taken?

But now that she had made up her mind, she would carry through with her plan. As long as she´d keep the happy outcome in mind, she could very well push away uncomfortable thoughts about the immorality of it all. Padre Benitez would never approve, but surely he would have to admit that this would be no ordinary shotgun-wedding. This was not going to be the result of thoughtlessness between two people who scarcely cared for each other; this was the only way to get together two people who loved each other dearly, but who had been cruelly separated for many years!

And with that in mind, she closed her eyes, hoping for dreams of her masked lover as her husband. And father of her children.