Cure for the Uncommon Cold, a bleach fanfic

So! Hitsu/Ruki is a first crack couple for me and I must say they have its own appeal. It really did take me by surprise how easy they could be assimilated into a couple. This is just a cute, fluffy oneshot to show how much these two individuals serve right for each other in at least my point of view. Enjoy!

Summary: The best cure for a cold between two individuals is just a kiss away. Hitsu/Ruki

Cure for the Uncommon Cold

-:-:--:-:-

The weather in Soul Society had become increasingly bitter. Crops were dying, elderly and young children were suffering, disdain rode a chill breeze through the city streets that hardened everything in its path.

It was in this dismal hour that Yamamoto-soutaichou gave the unhappy order that a sacrifice must be made to the benevolent force behind it all. And that sacrifice just so happened to be Kuchiki Rukia

"I'm sorry, Rukia," Byakuya whispered to her retreating form as he watched his sister leave him for the last time. "I have failed you."

-:-:--:-:-

She could hear a low grumble inside. Rukia took a deep breath and stepped into the den of the beast.

The beast lay on the floor before her, curled in a tight ball and with an enraged expression turned to face her. It opened its mouth wide, pearly teeth as white as its scales glaring menacingly at her as it prepared to strike.

"CLOSE THE GOD DAMNED DOOR!"

"S-Sorry, Hitsugaya-taicho!"

For the first time in his spirit life, Hitsugaya Toushiro had caught a cold. The white haired captain lay wrapped securely by heavy blankets on his futon on the floor. His hair was sweaty and disheveled, his cheeks uncharacteristically flush, his eyes closed tight as beads of sweat fell down a furrowed brow.

Rukia hastily made her way into the dark room and slid the rice paper door behind her closed, sealing away any remaining light, and means of escape. Wandering over to his futon, she placed a tray she'd been carrying on a small table beside him and began fumbling with its contents.

"Matsumoto," Toshiro said nasally, between coughs. "I thought I told you not to come back."

Rukia hesitated, and then placed a cloth wet cloth from the tray onto his forehead. "I'm not Matsumoto," she said finally. A menacing green eye opened slowly and scanned her worried face maliciously.

"Kuchiki Rukia," Toshiro said irritably. "Where's Matsumoto."

"You told her not to come back, Taichou."

"IDIOT! What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, all of Seireitei has had quite enough of the weather your cold is producing, Taichou," Rukia responded nervously as she patted his forehead with the damp cloth.

"What's that got to do with you?!" he half shouted. "And get that stupid thing off my head!" Smacking Rukia's hand away, Toshiro sat up swiftly, erupting in a fit of coughs.

"Taichou," Rukia said, with all the patience of a mother attempting to explain to her frumpy child that one and one did, in fact, result in two. "Lay down, you need to rest."

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" he shouted in that same, nasally, congested voice as she reached to push his shoulders down. Rukia sighed and retracted her hands. It really was kind of funny looking at him like a cat-demon that lost its fur…it was not that an intimidating sight, really.

"Please, Taichou, lay down."

The remainder of the afternoon ultimately resulted in a yelling match. Hitsugaya resigned to match his yelling level and raise it every time she made a move.

"I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOUR STINKING PEA OR POTATO SOUP! DRINK IT YOURSELF, DEMON WOMAN!"

"GET THAT POINTY THING AWAY FROM ME! AND DID YOU JUST GIVE ME THE EVIL-EYE, KUCHIKI?! I AM YOUR SUPERIOR! SUPERIOR, I TELL YOUUUU!!"

"I AM NOT PUTTING THAT IN MY MOUTH! ARE YOU f-!#ING INSANE?"

"NO! NOT COUGH SYRUP! SAVE ME, HYOURINMARU!"

"Hitsugaya-taichou we aren't going to get anywhere if you keep freezing all of the medicine…"

"I don't want it. I bet it's not going to work anyway. It will take more than your feeble excuse for a medicine from Unohana-taicho to keep me down. And they're probably child vitamins." He spat in disdain, brows furrowed and twitching as he remembered in one occasion that he was subscribed gummy-bear pills for his headache.

"Just one sip, Hitsugaya-taichou, that's all I ask."

"If I have one sip will you go back to hell so I can sleep?"

"If it'll make you take your medicine, Taichou."

"ARGGGHHARBLE WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! ARE YOU TRYING TO POISON ME, DEMON WOMAN?"

"Taichou, it's not poison! It's bitter because of the herbs that are-"

"SIT UPON THE FROZEN HEAVENS, HYORINMARU!"

"Oh, well, now you are paying for that."

"GET OUT!"

Rukia had had just about everything imaginable thrown at her head, and if it wasn't for the Captain's weakened condition, she reckoned she would have been frozen and smashed to bits or impaled by a flying thermometer ten times over by now.

"Well, I suppose I'll be going now, so you can get your rest."

-:-:--:-:-

"You're back,"

"I'm back,"

"I don't want you here."

"Unlucky."

"You're making my cold worse."

"How so?"

"Your irritable presence rises my temperature."

"You have your window open at night."

"And make me drink useless herbs and whatnot."

"I told you, you couldn't drink iced tea yet."

"You took Hyourinmaru from me…"

"Well if you keep using it as a defense weapon, I have to."

"You don't seem like the type to disobey a commanding officer, Kuchiki,"

"I'm not disobeying a commanding officer, Taichou. It was the Captain Commander who ordered me to come here."

"Why you?" he asked, greedily digging into his soup.

"He reckoned I was the only one who'd be able to withstand subzero temperatures for an extended period of time."

"I see."

"What's wrong, Taichou?"

"Nothing. Okawari."

"Of course, Taichou."

-:-:--:-:-

Hitsugaya Toshiro was aware of how much damage he'd caused to the Spirit World during the short duration of his illness, however he just could not grasp how anything he'd done could merit the cruel and unusual punishment he was now being subjected to.

"I don't like the blue cup, I only want to drink water from the green cup! And it can't be cold water! It has to be really cold water, or I won't have any of it!"

"Yes, Kuchiki."

"And where's my Chappy, pillow? I don't like the regular pillows, I can only sleep with my Chappy pillow!"

"Of course, Kuchiki."

"And what's this?! What's this?! Do you think I could take this stinkin' watermelon juice with my sore throat! I want straws! Straws from the real world with the swirly rainbow ones!"

"I will have one immediately dispatch."

"And I don't like the green leaves on my potato soup! I want potatoes and rosemary! Rosemary! Not thyme!!"

"Right, very well then, Kuchiki."

"And the window! Close it! Are you nuts! I'm not like you who enjoyed the ambience of snow! Freaking cold here! Where's my blanket? I want two! And I need a new pair of socks!"

"Take your cough medicine, Kuchiki."

"DIE, DRAGON BASTARD!"

"Put the katana down, Kuchiki."

"GET THAT SPOON AWAY FROM ME! DANCE, SODE NO SHIRAYUKI!"

"Kuchiki, what the f- NO! Don't you dare point that blade at my….that's it- BANKAI!"

-:-:--:-:-

The result of the past weeks couldn't be good.

Well if its any indication that Seireitei was experiencing the cold, barren season of an all-out winter period in which it even brought certain missions to an incapacitated halt because of the below freezing level that nearly disabled all activities.

The intelligence corps had also now devised a new invention to keep the people in Seiretei from spreading the common cold, and for some unfortunate post guards…frostbites.

Yamamoto-Genryuusai's plan had been foiled.

And at such dire circumstances, new measures of action must be delivered post haste. The balance of Seireitei depends on it.

And the only solution to such a problem…was a quarantine.

-:-:--:-:-

"You…"

Emerald irises with a dark hint of gray stared with poignant intensity over clouded violet orbs.

"Me?"

"Yes you, Kuchiki. Who do you think I'm talking to? The flower vase?"

"No, Hitsugaya-taicho." Eyes rolled upward, "What are you doing in my room?" Rukia sighed, exasperated and tired from her on-going battle of cold. Naturally, the two of them had been given the task to "take care of each other" (begrudgingly life debt, mind you) in which had inevitably resorted to a swap of flu from one to the other.

It's like the Current Exchange Flu Rate.

One Rukia sore throat, equals to one Toushiro headache. And one Rukia cough, equals to one Toushiro runny nose. And the circle never ends.

"Your room?" Toushiro narrowed his eyes, one fine white brow raised in speculation.

"Yes. My room." Rukia challenged.

"You must be mistaken Kuchiki, this room was designated for my use."

"Well, so am I."

"You are not. Get out."

"I should be saying that. I'm a woman, therefore this is my room!"

"Oh don't try taking your Women's Shinigami Association crap on me, Kuchiki."

"Do you have something against women now, Hitsugaya-taicho?"

"I said no such thing. And this is my room!"

"It's not! It's mine." She staked her claim by fixing her Chappy-printed divider in the corner, and dumping all her belongings in the middle of the room, while setting up her diminutive Chappy collection paraphernalia on the floor.

A tremor ran down his spine and the convulsive tick in his brows turned into a full-blown angry frown as he stomped his way in the middle without any impromptu and set up his own camp.

No way in hell Kuchiki will be kicking him out with half of Sereitei hounding him about his cold and all. Really, he knew Yamamoto was suffering Alzheimer's, but to put them in the same room for "the sake of Seiretei that is currently distraught over your phenomenal display of power despite your cold." …what a lousy excuse.

That shouldn't warranty them to be treated like lepers!

He could at least tolerate it if they got two rooms. Toushiro glared at his nemesis in colds and flu and decidedly thought it was all her fault. If she wasn't so insistent in "curing" him she couldn't have acquired the same illness and he'll be just on his merry way!

Toushiro hoped she'd give up and pack away before night falls.

-:-:--:-:-

Crcccrrrkkkkttt…

"Nice night, eh?"

"Shut up, Kuchiki."

"Really, Hitsugaya-taicho, this isn't so bad."

"I'm trying hard to sleep."

"Count sheeps, then."

"What?" he rolled over to peer at the side of her demented chappy divider, thinking she'd sprouted a sixth head with two horns and wings.

"Sheeps."

"And why, pray tell, should I count useless livestock in my sleep?"

"It helps you get ready to sleep. Here let me demonstrate, it's better if you picture them jumping over a white rail fence: one sheep, two sheep, three sheep, four sheep—"

"Stop, stop, stop! That's making it worse, you're giving me a headache, dammit."

She gave him a reprieve of silence only if for a moment.

"…You can't count?"

Again, the look that symbolizes that her sixth head, now with added an eye in the middle of the horn with wings, grew exponentially by the second. "It astounds me how you've led such a simple outlook in life."

"Yeah me too, it's weird why you have white hair when you're just in your pubescent stage—"

"My hair is natural, Kuchiki." If his glare could produce ice he might've just frozen the divider and the girl beyond.

"You sure?" she gave him a dubious look, "I mean Renji says it's a "preternatural occurrence." Whatever the hell that means. But I think it's just stress. I mean it's hard to get high blood pressure at your age—"

"I am going to ignore your stupidity of this matter, Kuchiki, and overlook this for your brother's sake." The younger male clutched his blanket and turned back on his side, fully intent to sleep.

Sheep or no sheep.

Seconds passed to minutes and to—

"This is like a sleepover—"

"Goddamit Kuchiki!" his sudden outburst and rush of blood to his head cut his speech short as one feeble hand settled on his throbbing temple while the other clutched at his hair messily. Stupid, stupid headaches.

"Gee, ease up Hitsugaya-taicho." A soothing hand rub circles on his back as a shadow overcast his form, the younger Kuchiki quickly by his side, working to find his medicine and simultaneously trying to alleviate the pressure of pins in needles in his head by slowly bringing him down to bed.

"It's your fault."

"How is that my fault?"

"I can't sleep with you talking every second."

"Well, you weren't going to sleep."

"Your sheeps aren't working."

"Did you picture them with a picket fence?"

He glared at her through his bangs and the hand the precariously shadowed the light of the moon from his face.

"It's not like it isn't your fault either, you know." She folded her arms over her sleeve, planting herself on the floor beside him. Nodding with a solemn look, as she studied the lines and cracks of the floorboards, wondering how she really got into this mess with the tenth captain no less.

If it was just common cold it would've been fine, really. Living in Rukongai had given her far more superior immunity to be severely bed-ridden by this cold for weeks now, and to be sick at such an extended period of time…she couldn't help but thinking that someone cursed her.

Maybe it was Kurotsuchi-taicho when he bumped into her and took a sample of her hair and did some vicious voodoo—

"—chiki? Kuchiki!"

"Wha-what?"

"I know the meds did a number on you, but don't go off like a light in the middle of a conversation."

The reprimanding tone broke her out of her reverie as blank violet eyes stared back blinking in confusion. "Huh?"

"You said something about this being my fault," he drawled in a dry tone, "How?"

She blurted the first thought that came to mind.

"Your bacteria."

"…my bacteria…?"

"Yes, your disease had inevitably passed down to me! And it's all your fault!"

"It wasn't like it's not bound to happen, Kuchiki. You were given the task to "take care" of me! You could've refused!"

"Oh yeah, sure, try saying "Hell No!" in front of Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryusai-dono and tell me if you didn't pee your pants!"

"That is not childish reason to blame the cold on me!"

"Is to!"

"Is not!"

"Is to!"

"Is not!"

"Is—"

"Stop it! Ugh…you're making my headache worse, you demon woman."

"My sore throat…" she made a dramatic hacking cough, "I could've frozen your ass with Shirayuki for this…"

"The action is mutual…"

Inhaling deeply almost simultaneously, and sighing out with trepidation, the two glared at each other in comical stances. It had been rigorous enough that they were both indebted to a duty of looking after one another…but placing them in the same room just strains whatever balance they both sought for.

Rukia placed her palm firmly under her chin in contemplation as she closed her eyes, listening to the even breathing-but obviously still awake white-haired male. She was starting to miss her trips to the real world, and she hadn't had Yuzu's pancakes in more than two weeks! And carrot top…no doubt that idiot would be ranting about his missing "hollow radar," stupid dumbass can't even track a freaking reiatsu.

Not to mention she'll be missing the new release of her favorite shoujo manga! And the new sequel for her novel…Alejandro was the new rival for Maria's hand in marriage! She left off at a page where Maria was getting suggestion to cure a cold. And it said it was passing it off to other people.

She scoffed. Ichigo said that too. And he couldn't answer her when she asked what if two people got stuck sick together, do they just pass it off to each other? What if the cycle never ends? What if the person who got sick passes it back to you? Do you need to pass it back to them or another person? Who was she to pass it to?

Of course with a barrage of questions like that and as typical as Ichigo comes with a moronic answer in hand that never ceases to amaze her into a stupefied grandeur, he said—

"The hell should I know! If that happens then settle it between you! You know…like, like…cooties! Yeah cooties!"

Okay no, maybe that memory was best to look in later because that would just mark Ichigo's unimpressive count of "the most stupidest things to say" and Rukia being already culturally retarded in the real world didn't need to learn something as useless as—

A light bulb somewhere lit up.

"That's it…"

The muffled mumble broke the younger taicho out of his own misery enough to give the raven haired girl a raised brow and a wary look.

"What's i—"

"That's it, taicho!" strong hands gripped onto his shoulders tightly as the girl started shaking him like a rag doll, further worsening his nausea. "I found a solution!"

"Alright, alright! Stop shaking me, you demon woman!"

"Okay, okay! I have a solution that I know will be effective. Though I don't really know how it works but I think it goes something like this and I think it's worth a try. I mean you don't like getting stuck here with me and I want my pancakes, and I think having this cold for a long time would make us both crazy and I—"

"Kuchiki!" Hitsugaya barked, mustering up whatever working neurons he had left, "It's already enough that your babble makes me insane. Can't you just…just talk slowly?"

Taking a deep cleansing breath, the raven haired girl started, "I think…we should settle this between us."

There was a moment of silence in which the girl look at him expectantly, waiting for a praise or something, and Toushiro thinking this girl had gone totally nuts, blinking in derision.

"While I said talk things slowly, Kuchiki, I also meant talk comprehensively. What the hell do you mean by "settle this between us"?"

"Cooties!"

"…"

Okay…maybe Toushiro needed a different tactic. What was it that Matsumoto used when talking to their lesser-than-thou subordinates. He should smile, inquire nicely, wait patiently, and let them talk—

"What the hell are cooties!?"

Good tactic that.

"…I dunno."

"…have anyone told you that you are useless, Kuchiki?"

"Heh, have anyone told you that you have no tact, Hitsugaya-taicho?"

Both glares considerably lowered the temperature in the room, outside winds howled as it rattled doors, a storm brewing with such acidic intensity it shook the very foundations—

"Forget it. I bet whatever solution you have is hopeless. We'll just ride it out and—"

"Nononononono!! Really! I saw Kurosaki-dono do it once!"

"Kurosaki-dono?" Toushiro wondered what that idiot for a father merit such a suggestion, or maybe not. He was after all…pretty stupid from the way "father and son" bonded.

"Yes, yes! Well…" Rukia rubbed her chin, "I don't know exactly how it went…but Karin was sick and well…I saw him gave these pills and then he kissed her goodnight, and by the next day she was all better!"

The shining, sparkly violet eyes didn't fool him one bit.

"Kissed?"

"Yes!"

A rustle of blankets and a thud of head hitting the pillow resounded as the younger captain turned away quickly with a muffled, "I'm sure it was the pills, Kuchiki."

"Nuh-uh! This is Karin! Kariiiiiin! She could've whoop Kurosaki-dono's ass if she wanted, but she didn't!" the persistent shaking in his shoulder did not let up, and he was sure as hell the popping veins in his temple was a bad sign of his blood pressure reaching to impossible heights.

"Dammit! Urgh…" he was tired, sleepy, with a big headache and the sheeps are noisily neighing in his head. "If we try this stupid "solution" of yours will you leave me the hell alone?"

She cutely slapped her palms together in supplication and bowed in thanks, "You won't regret it, Hitsugaya-taicho."

It's the cold talking, yes it was. Hitsugaya had not gone insane…not yet.

"Alright, take this medicine."

"No, you take yours first."

"No way! You always cheat!"

"Taicho, how bout we take this like shots?"

"Shots?"

"Okay, in a count to one, we'll drink our meds together."

"Three."

"Two."

"One."

Gulp. Gulp.

Bleh!

"I hate you, Kuchiki."

"The feeling is mutual."

…

"So…what now?"

"Well…" she started to pantomime her next move, further irritating the already hot-headed captain.

"Kuchiki…"

"Okay! Okay! I think it goes something like…" her cold hands cupped his cheeks quickly startled him, as large emerald eyes widened in fright at the insinuation of the kiss—!

…in the…temple…?

"There."

Yeah, well both neither had something to say about the awkward moment as Rukia resembled that of a mashed tomato under the sun and Toushiro with his very own red sunset creeping over his cheeks.

"That's it?"

"Uhm, I think so." She made a show of thumping the side of her head with a closed fist. "Let's just hope my stupid idea works—"

"Wait, don't you need—'

"Goodnight, Hitsugaya-tai—"

The problem of standing up at the same time around sheets of blanket was that gravity tends to work around poor careless people who had no regard for their own surroundings. Of course we would have no idea which foot landed where or which got caught into the fray, but the course of momentum was not mistaken.

And the landing couldn't have journeyed on a better spot.

For two individuals having both colds, they noted that they had surprisingly warm lips. Soft and sweet. It was a short touch of skin to skin, a marvelous accidental experience that left both participants in shock and awe of the little things that they took for granted in everyday life.

Of course the blame was solely due course to their own flu.

Even though Toushiro Hitsugaya had never kissed a girl, he would likely say that this was one experience that would be most memorable to him.

And to Kuchiki Rukia, the type that had put forth duty and responsibility, this scene would be imprinted deep into the recesses of her mind.

Between closed shoji doors and printed Chappy divider under the moonlight, being quarantined wasn't so bad after all.

Pulling back languorously, Rukia's deep velvet blush was evident as she gulped back in as much need air at the accidental lip-to-lip kiss that—

"Gah! Hi-Hitsugaya-taicho! I'm really sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry!"

"Kuchiki…I think…it's best if you…" Toushiro wheezed, "Get off me first…"

She scrambled up swiftly and made another quick apology.

"It's alright," of course it wasn't, Toushiro tried rubbing his face of the heated evidence, as he coughed, trying to regain as much composure in his weakened and accidentally kissed state. "E-erm, well I think that didn't go over well."

"I'm really sorry, Hitsugaya-taicho!" Rukia bowed her head.

"No, I should be—"

"I'm really sorry that I took Hyourinmaru from you."

"That's—"

"And back then, you really didn't need to drink that much cough syrup."

"Well it's—"

"Then I gave you wool blankets instead of the cotton ones."

"It's not your—"

"And now I just took you virginity—"

"Kuchiki!"

"Hai!"

"Enough. Urgh…my headache." No really…

Rukia's eyes softened as she moved to his side and gave a comforting hand on his back. It had been a long and eventful night. "I'm really sorry about all this, Hitsugaya-taicho."

"Stop apologizing, it's not your fault," he gave her a wry smile, emerald eyes with a tint of serious scrutiny. "Now let me give this solution of yours a "proper" execution."

"E-eh?"

Turning her face with a fisted hand under her chin, a brush of white hair tickled her brows as Toushiro gave her a soft peck in her cheeks.

"Goodnight, Kuchiki."

-:-:--:-:-

The morning after was a complete sudden turnabout of the weather. A beautiful sunny day with blue skies and chirping birds as the landscape melted under the heat of the day. The storm subsided to replace a field of Elysium covered in the thawing snow.

"Hitsugaya-taicho!"

Many of the tenth squad gasped and murmured amongst themselves as they gave their captain worried looks at his unexpected appearance.

Matsumoto was first to approach, "Hitsugaya-taicho? How—Do you feel better now?"

The glow of health was coming off of him in waves, "Ah. But…it's fun to have a cold."

"E-eehhhhh?!"

-:-:--:-:-

"Oi! Midget! What's with the sunny face?" Ichigo scowled at the skipping, tiny shinigami by his side.

"Why, Ichigo! It's a sunny daaaay! Let's go for ice cream!"

"You just got back from a cold, you idiot! You'll get another one."

"I know! That's why I want one!"

Fin.

Yay! Short and sweet quicky oneshot! Heh well I like the little fluffs. I know it's my first with Hitsu/Ruki and I hope I didn't make it awkward. -.- Naa! So I maybe next time I'm up for a good multichap. I know the last bits were rush, forgive me. XD Special thanks goes to youshallnotpass for her awesomecooliobestesness! To BlackBelt and Iana Sabelle for opening janitorial spots for me in the army, and Narquotic for her persistent introduction to this couple-I thank you a thousand!

…I love reviews…-.-