Disclaimer: Not mine
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: IchiGrimm
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things. Still un-betaed.
Warning: Kind of sequel to 'Elementary, my dear Watson'. Go read that before you read this!

PARADISE LOST

An angry howl echoed in the empty halls of Las Noches and seven beautiful months of quiet and peace went down the drain. Ulquiorra sleepily opened his green eyes and glared at the white ceiling of his room.

Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, Sexta Espada, had evidently reverted back to his awful and anarchist behaviour. All week the panther had been nervous and anxious and every Espada had found it downright unbearable to be in the same room with him for more than five minutes. He grumbled, snapped and glared at pretty much everything.

The cherry on top had been the meeting with Aizen-sama and the other Espada. Grimmjow had eaten all the pastry, even going as far as to steal one from Tousen-san's plate, and then he took a sip of his tea, got up from his seat and spat some of it in everyone's cup. At Aizen-sama's reprimand he got the nerve to yell that their leader was 'an awful father' and he wouldn't be surprised if all his brothers became punks and drag-queens.

Aizen-sama had laughed and shrugged it off as 'rebellious adolescence' but Ulquiorra knew better that to let the Sexta run the place as he wanted. So that day, when he met the blue haired man in a hallway, he went to him to better understand that sudden change.

"I thought you had stopped with that horrible behaviour of yours."

"What? Want to pick a fight with me? You're not going to win this time, Ulquiorra."

"I don't want to fight you, if you really need to release some pent-up tension why don't you go to your shinigami?"

Grimmjow didn't even need to ask who Ulquiorra was referring to. But if Aizen still hadn't killed him for insubordination and disregard for his orders then it meant that Ulquiorra was alright with the whole thing and covering up for him.

"He's away. Training with that shady character with the striped hat. So, fight with me?"

"I'm not interested in the type of fight you get into with that boy. And I was under the belief that the relationship with the shinigami was a monogamous one. "

Every muscle in Grimmjow's body stiffened and a light blush coloured his cheeks.

"What the hell? I didn't mean it like that! You… You pervert!"

And with that he stomped off towards the training grounds. If he was lucky he would find Zommari and pick a fight with him. Meanwhile Ulquiorra watched his disappearing back with a sigh. He had grown accustomed to the peace that had reigned over Las Noches in those months and he was not going to give it up. The Evil Abstinence would be conquered.

A few days after…

"What's that?" asked Nnoitora peering over Grimmjow's shoulder

"Dunno. I found it on the table when I came back from training."

The little note, written in Ulquiorra's handwriting, read:

For peaceful cohabitation's sake.

"Oooh, Cuarta got you a little gift. Are you cheating on Clementine?"

Grimmjow shot him a glare. As if he would ever cheat on his lover. But the fact remained that Ulquiorra Schiffer just got him a mysterious box with a equally mysterious content. If there was something that Grimmjow had learned while living in the same space as the green eyed man was that the other did nothing without a purpose.

So what the hell was in that box?

He carefully lifted the lid and the two Espada peeked inside.

Nnoitora was the first to crack. He smiled his creepy grin and then proceeded to laugh his ass off while the blue eyed man just looked inside the box with round, round eyes. It was surreal. Grimmjow knew that Ulquiorra knew about them and about Ichigo's training away from Karakura but something like that was too farfetched.

/With WHAT kind of face did he go to buy something like this?/

"I can't believe it. - whispered Grimmjow - He got me a dildo."

A/N: I knew I promised somewhere to do another Mpreg but this is where the drabble chipmunks brought me. And Aizen reminds me of Anzai from Slam Dunk, with his tea and his 'ho, ho, ho'. I have some big exams coming up in January and February so I don't think I'll update for a while… (I always say this but somehow the best ideas come to me just a few day's before the exam. Crap.) Happy New Year, btw, and thanks for reading!