Authors note: just something I did for fun and for a laugh, flame or laugh at your own leasuire, but don't forget to R & R. BT
Disclaimer: I do not won any of the characters from Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha.
Interview One: The name of the beast
BT: Yo, welcome to a special program of your host, myself, Black Tornado interview.
Some applauses from the background and a few boos
BT: today we're going to interview a very special guest, he's been slowly been phased out of the series until he only makes cameo appearance, is the guy who taught the ace of aces magic at a tender age of nine and he's been named the "perverted beast," which we'll prove later, please give it up for Yūno Scrya
One of the many doors open and in walks a ferret
BT: ummm… Whose pet is there?
The ferret jumps onto the seat opposite Black Tornado
Security: That's Yūno Scrya
BT looks at the ferret questionably
BT: Yūno Scrya I presume?
Ferret: Yes
Fangirls begin to cheer
BT: right… mind me asking why you're in ferret form?
Yūno: Well Nanoha loves me in this form, so I came on just to please her desire
BT looks at the ferret then to his schedules of interview
BT: I won't ask anymore… anyway lets begin the interview
Yuno: by all means
BT looks through some questions he written down
BT: OK let's begin with the most widely asked question, why are you called the perverted animal?
Yuno: I resent that, I'm not a pervert animal!
BT: try telling that to the million of people who want to barbecue you over a fire and put some ketchup on you
Yuno looks worried to BT whose cackling with evil laughter
Yuno: I won't even ask where you got that idea from
BT composes himself
BT: well can you enlighten me as to the nickname?
Yuno sighs and curls up on the seat
Yuno: it's because I've seen all the girls without their clothes on
BT jots it down
BT: that brings us to the next question, didn't you state that you were a guy when you first met Nanoha?
Yuno turns red
Yuno: it kind of slipped out of my mind at that moment
BT raise an eye brow
BT: could it be you're a peeking tom?
Yuno: no!
BT: then I suppose that all the fans across the globe will accept your statement without any problem?
A knock came from the front door
BT: excuse me… who on earth could it be?
BT opens the door to find a mob baring hatchets and torches standing at the door
Mob leader: where is the Perverted beast!
BT: ummmm… be right back with you in a moment.
Slams shut the door and barricades it
BT: Did you tell anyone about this interview!
Yuno: only Chrono
In dark room somewhere who knows sits Chrono watching on a large screen with an evil smile then rubs his hands in glee
Chrono: excellent,
Laughs evilly while his kids hide in a corner and shake in fear of their dad laughing like some evil villain from a comic
BT: when I get my hands on that guy I'm going to…
Shouts from the mob of people outside can be heard chanting
Mob: burn the beast, burn the beast, burn the beast
Yuno: you're not going to give me to them are you?
BT: hell no, I still got an interview to do!
Reaches to the phone and begins to dial a number
Yunno: who you're calling?
BT ignores Yunno
BT: Hello, yeah it's me, I need you to come down and deal with a mob of guys at the front door, yeah later.
The window is busted down and one of them tries to climbs in, BT throws the phone at the guy knocking him out, then quickly he shoves a bookcase in the way and bracing himself against it
Yuno: protect me!
BT: aren't you supposed to be a mage!
Yuno: I only know defensive ability
BT: well why don't you try helping me protect us from what I can only see as extreme pain coming our way!
Yuno: I kind of used up most of my magic
BT: DOING WHAT EXACTLY!!
Yuno: practicing with Nanoha on some particular magic
The mob behind the barricade became even angrier having misheard it as "practicing with Nanoha on some particular thrills" as to how they mange to misheard it as that is beyond even the author
Mob: the Ferret must burn and so must the one interviewing it!!
BT pushes against the barricade as best as possible
BT: well Gee, thanks for sharing THAT little information with me and the rabid mob outside!
The sound of people dying in agony and chainsaw sound is heard for a few moments before stopping
BT: finally
Tears down the barricade and opens the door to find a blood splattered man wielding a chainsaw and wearing a sack of his head.
BT: thanks, I owe you one
Chainsaw guy: ….
BT: I'll send the money after the interview
Chainsaw guy: the beast…
Revs the chainsaw and runs after Yuno
BT: oh crap
BT grabs a Steel chair and begins to beat the chainsaw guy to a pulp before throwing him out
Yuno half scared out of his wits hide underneath one of chairs
Yuno: what was THAT! And why didn't you use the steel chair on the mob?
Bt sits back on his seat
BT: oh him, some guy I met while on a road trip in some backwater place in America, as for the chair it's reserved for one person, not a freaking MOB!
Yuno: errr may I ask what he's like?
BT: he's really a nice guy, even offered to cut the roast chicken for me, of course I declined, not because of his obsession with that chainsaw.
Yuno looks very worried
BT: anyway, moving on to the next question how is your love life with the white demon of the TSAB?
The ferret looks round
Yuno: we're just friends
BT: yeah right, we all know you're after her
Yuno: hey, I'm not like that!
In some forsaken place which is also dark sat Fate smiling like the devil, at this point people may wonder what is it with people wanting to sit in a dark place and laughing like some maniac?
Fate: so much as hint it and I'll be sure to pop down there with a bottle of Mayonnaise
Next to her is a bottle of Mayonnaise ready to be used... what's with people wanting to eat a ferret with some sauce on it??
Back at the studio
BT: then please explain why THIS was found underneath your bed filled with… ummmm questionable magazine
Shows picture of Nanoha undoing her uniform in her room, Yuno eyes bulge out of his socket and blood shoots out from his nose rocketing him into the ceiling
BT: that's one hell of a reaction to a photo you keep under your bed
The ferret remain limp in the ceiling
BT: I can't continue with my guest in the ceiling can I?
Grabs a pole with a noose on it.
BT: Right, just have to wrap the noose round him then…
Yanks the ferret out of the hole and drop him on the chair.
BT: So let's con…
Yuno is unconscious with a look of heavenly joy on his face
BT: why oh why do I have to do this
Grabs the ferret and dunk him in some ice cold water in a bucket a few times to snap him out of his day dream
Yuno: COLD!
BT: good, I got you attention
Dumps the soaked ferret on the seat
BT: why the over the top reaction to the photo you have?
Yuno: BUT IT'S NOT MINE!
BT: then you're saying this isn't yours either
Pulls out a photo of Nanoha sleeping in her bed with her shirt half undone
BT: or this
This time she's taking a shower, the steam obscuring her naughty bits
BT: and of course this
The final photo of her taking a swim in a bikini.
BT: care to explain.
Yuno is currently looking pale
BT: ??
BT looks behind him to find a demon in white.
Demon: you slime ball
The demon in white is none other than Nanoha, looking royally angry as well
Yuno: Na-nanoha I'm telling you they no…
Before he could even finish the sentence a pink blast incinerated the chair
Nanoha: I'm going to make you pay by making you suffer to the point where you begged the crowd roasted your perverted hide and put barbecue sauce on you
Yuno is now praying for a miracle that would save him, BT looks at the angered mage and wonder should he even intervene
BT: ummmm…. Nanoha you're not scheduled to be here unti…
She gave a death glare to BT who promptly change the subject
BT: I was just saying that I just finish interviewing him that he's all yours… later!
BT runs out of the room and slams the door leaving the poor ferret to his fate of what could possibly the end of his life, meanwhile BT looks at the photo again.
BT: hmmmm, strange Fate told me they're Yuno's….
Something hit him
BT: when did Fate begin sneaking into other peoples room
Mental picture of who the picture truly belong to made him think happy thoughts before turning to something slightly wrong which he will not even dare even to mention nor think.
Nanoha: Divine…
BT quickly clears the building and watches the ensuring firework
Nanoha: Buster!!
A pink blast blew the roof of the building, within the centre of the projectile is the ferret.
BT: well that conclude today's first interview, let's hope the next one won't be so… violent
Looks at the building as the white demon walks pass BT muttering about "Divine Buster a ferret every hour"
BT: the insurance company is NEVER going to believe this
Authors note: please R &R and also if you want me to interview someone (besides Nanoha) feel free to say.