"Oh… oh… they'll be here any time now!" Alice sang, running around the living room dusting the paces she'd already dusted twelve times—in the last five minutes, that was. They could hear Esme out in the kitchen, rushing around trying to tidy up the already tidy, spotless room, scrubbing all of the surfaces furiously, though of course they were already spotless. "How does it look in here? Good? Oh no, no, this is no good at all…"

"Alice, relax," said Emmet from the couch. "I can see my face in the wall – and I didn't even think that was possible.

"Yeah, well I also didn't think it was possible that vampires could be real, or that when I was sixteen I would suddenly change into an immortal werewolf and imprint on a half-vampire that rapidly ages and is now having a sleepover with nine of her closest friends." Jacob said from the other end of the couch. "I've learned to expect a lot of weird shit."

Emmet laughed, and Alice just scowled at them. "Why are you two just sitting there? Help us clean up!"

"Alice, if there was anything that needed to be cleaned up, then we'd happily oblige," Emmet told her.

"I know something that you can clean up," Rosalie started, walking into the room.

"Shove it up your ass," Jacob suggested. Rosalie's eyes narrowed as everyone else stifled their laughter.

"No, dog, I was referring to the fact that we haven't had time to brush you or help you with your drooling problem, so you're going to have to stay outside from now on… anyway, you two need to clean up your acts for when the girls are here," she said, now focusing on the both of them on the couch.

"Why, my dearest love, whatever do you mean by that?" Emmet asked in a perfect mimic of Edward.

They heard a huff from the doorway, turning to see Edward and Bella standing there, returned with the cake and various other part supplies.

"Oh, good! Bella, help me put the balloons around the place," Alice told her, and the two of them ran around doing that.

"So…" Edward looked at Emmet.

"So…" Emmet replied.

"You were just mocking me again?"

"No, dearest Edward."

"Can we please get back on subject here?" Rosalie asked. "By cleaning up our act, I mean no swearing, no perverted jokes, no touching any of them—"

"Yeah Emmet, don't touch the little girls," Jacob said with a serious expression. "you'll get sued for rape and locked up for the rest of your life."

"Well that could take a while," Emmet grinned.

Just then, the front door swung open.

"They're here!" Alice cheered.

"They're heeere…" Jacob echoed in a demented whisper.