Tartly Speaking

Professor Severus Snape swooped up the corridor leading out of the area that housed the Hogwarts kitchen. The aroma of fresh baked goods followed him as he billowed his way up the stairwell and into the main hall.

Ronald Weasley had just entered the castle, and his keen nose for all things delicious focused on the yummy scent that followed as the Potions master passed to the dungeon entrance without so much as a word although he saw the Gryffindor enter. Weasley was probably here to stalk . . . er . . . see his girlfriend, Charms Mistress Hermione Granger.

Ron blinked after the disappearing wizard for a moment. Hermione had mentioned that Snape had taken to baking as a side hobby, feeling he would have a natural affinity to it since brewing and measuring was practically ingrained in him as a Potions master.

Ron loved all things baked, and saw quite the opportunity here. Hermione could wait a few minutes as he stealthily made his way down to the Hogwarts kitchen. He tickled the fruit in a portrait and the concealed door swung open. He entered. There wasn't a house elf in sight. That made sense. Snape was not the best kitchen mate, after all.

Ron followed his nose over to a table where a dozen tarts rested. They were still steaming. He sniffed appreciatively.

"Elderberry tarts," he breathed, then reached over and picked up a warm, succulent pastry and bit into it.

"Clearly my baking skills leave something to be desired," Snape said to the Aurors as they studied the body of Ronald Weasley. He lay on his back, traces of Elderberry tart around his mouth as he laid on his back, stiff and pale, the tart still curled in his fingers.

Hermione pushed through and looked down at her beau miserably.

"Oh Ron!" she exclaimed, then looked at the Auror standing over him.

"What happened?" she asked, tears filling her eyes.

It was Snape who answered.

"Apparently, Miss Granger, I failed to cook the elderberries to the proper temperature to render the cyanide inherent in the fruit harmless. Mr. Weasley entered the kitchen and without permission proceeded to consume one of the pastries. If not for his penchant for gluttony, he would still be among us."

Hermione shook her head miserably.

"Oh Ron," she breathed at the corpse, "I always said your eating habits would be the death of you."

Snape watched as the tears streamed down her cheeks. It was obvious the witch would be in need of consolation.

He'd definitely be there in her time of need.

THE END

A/N: Just letting you all know I'm giving access to all rather naughty links on the Burning Pen for a donation of $10. Original novels, downloadable books, naughty animations, very naughty illustrated stories, videos and more. Info is on the front page of the site. Fun stuff! **** Link: theburningpen . com Just trying to make it through the end of the month.

A/A/N: The subject of the dangers of elderberries came up while I spoke to a friend who makes syrup. Naturally, Ron's love of food would lead to his death. lol. Not a great short but at least I wrote something. Thanks for reading.