Disclaimer: I do not own Pirates Of The Caribbean, Disney, or any of it's affiliations.

Rain: "Hello again, this is Rain speaking! Shawn and I have yet again decided to do another interview, this time starring Captain Hector Barbossa and the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow. Shawn will be with us shortly, he appears to be talking to Jack in his dressing room. I'll begin with the first question." Turns to Barbossa and smiles charmingly "Hello fiance of mine."

Barbossa: "Argh, its good to back lass. Even better conderin' that I be gettin' to see you again." smiles at Rain

Jack: Shouting coming from dressing room "What ye mean there's no rum!? I know that specifically asked fer rum this time!"

Shawn: Shouting back at Jack "I told you before, THERE IS NO RUM! Why would be change the rules since last time!? We don't have any rum, so get over it!"

Rain: Whimpers, sidling closer to Barbossa "Uh-Uhm, a-anyway. Uhm, im sorry love, but do you have any rum on hand perhaps?" Pleading look

Barbossa: "Actually, no. Unlike CERTAIN people, I don't need in me hand at all times."

Jack: steps out on stage "Why is there no rum, AGAIN!" stops after noticing Barbossa "What's he doin' 'ere?"

Shawn: following closely behind Jack "Didn't Rain tell you? We've decided to interview you both together."

Rain: "Uh, yea I must've forgot. But uhm, don't fret! I'll run right up to the corner store and get ye some rum, if you promise to stay here and do the interview and NOT attempt to kill my fiance." Narrows eyes at Jack

Barbossa: "Argh, ye needn't be goin' OUTTA yer way for this whelp!" Narrows eyes at Jack

Jack: "Why is everyone angry today! Fine lass, ye get me rum and I promise on pain of death not to bother yer...eh, fiance, savvy?" Grins toothily

Shawn: MAJOR sigh

Rain: "Hmm...deal. And I mean it Jack, you do not touch my mate." Glares at

Jack: Raises arm in surrender "I said I swear on pain of death, luv!"

Rain: "Hmm, fine." Kisses Barbossa deeply then leaves for rum "I'll be back soon!"

Jack: Pulls a face "Ew, do they always do that?"

Shawn: Sighs and sits down in chair across from Barbossa "Yes, that and more." Shouting at Rain as she leaves "WAIT!! Don't leave me alone with these two!" sighs as Rain drives off "Damn it..."

Jack: "She better be back soon with me rum."

Barbossa: "Ahh, stow it Sparrow!

Jack: "Now listen 'ere, mate! I agreed to this show, but NOT, to you. And further more-"

Barbossa: interrupting Jack by pointing a pistol at his face "When I say 'shut up', that means to SHUT UP!"

Shawn: "Ah! Hector please, put that away! How'd you even get that pass security!?" Stands to try to break up Jack and Barbossa "Please, both of you, calm down. I'm sure we can work this out like gentlem-"

Barbossa: points pistol at Shawn "You shut up too!"

Shawn: quickly sits back down "Right. I'm staying out of this one."

Rain: arrives to see Jack and Barbossa engaged in a sword fight. "Ooo that's it. He is so in trouble." drops two bottles of rum in Shawn's lap. "CAPTAIN HECTOR BARBOSSA GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW!!" yells angrily, face red.

Jack: "Ha, saved by the girl, eh, Hector?" Smirks

Rain: "YOU TOO SPARROW!"

Jack: "Oh Bloody hell!" walks shamefully to Rain, head bowed like a four year old who just got caught trying to steal a cookie from the cookie jar

Rain: "Jack, dear, why don't you sit down and get yer rum from Shawn." Smiles sweetly

Jack: "Haha, I win!" dives for rum

Rain: "Hector, NOW"

Shawn: "Oh dear..."

Jack: "Yer in trouble now, mate." drinks rum, sitting down on chair

Shawn: "This one's going REALLY bad..."

Jack: "Ha! Nonsense, mate! I must say I'm rather enjoyin' meself." takes another drink of rum

Shawn: frustrated "Give me that!" snatches rum from Jack

Jack: "Give me back me rum, or so help me mate, I'll-"

Shawn: interrupts Jack "Do I have to hurt you again!? Because if I have to, I will break this bottle over you're head."

Rain: turns to Shawn and Jack "Shawn, give him his rum and stop being a prick! AND WHERE IS MY FIANCE!" huffs

Jack: O.O "Women are scary when their mad, eh mate?" looks up at Rain

Shawn: "Yes, and Rain is no acception..."

Barbossa: "I be over here, lass. What seems to be the problem?"

Jack: "Well if I may say so, that would be you." points to Barbossa

Shawn: "Jack, it might be a good idea to keep that kind of thing to yourself right now. Rain looks shes ready to kill someone, and it could be you."

Jack: Looking fearfully at Rain "Aye, you've got a point there, mate."

Barbossa: "Now that Sparrow's shut up and we can hear ourselves think again, what was it ye wanted to speak at me about?"

Rain: Stomps to Barbossa, shoving finger in his chest "You will sit down and do this interview without complaint! Both of you!" Says to Jack and Barbossa

Barbossa: chuckles "And who be ye to give me orders?"

Rain: "Your fiance, and if you want my company tonight, ye'd best do as I say, SAVVY?" glares

Barbossa: "Ha! As though that be much of a threat! If that be the case, it won't be too hard to find pleasurable company else where."

Shawn: "Uh, Hector. It may not be such a good idea to proke her like that. Just in case you can't tell shes-"

Barbossa: Interrupts Shawn by pointing his pistol at him "You stay out of this."

Jack: Whispers to Shawn "Best just to do as he says, mate. He's a royal flush short of a full deck, if ya know what I mean."

Rain: "Fine." Grabs Sparrow and kisses him passionately "Jerk!" storms off

Jack: "Well that was-" smiling widely

Shawn: "Unexpected?"

Jack: "Aye, ye took the words right outta me mouth."

Shawn: sighs "This is getting out of hand."

Jack: "Agreed, mate. So, I'll be takin' me rum," snatches rum from Shawn "and be off."

Shawn: grabs Jack by the back of his shirt and pulls him back to a sitting position "Have your rum then, but sit down!"

Barbossa: "If you two will excuse me, I've got to go after me woman." walks off stage

Shawn: "Well, now that the psychotic man and woman are gone, maybe we can actually get to the interview." turns to Jack "And since he's here, could you describe your relationship with Captain Barbossa?"

Jack: "Me and ol' Hector, eh? Well we used to good friends, he was even me first mate on the Pearl. That is until he betrayed me and took over..."

Shawn: "So, did that incident ruin your friendship?"

Jack: "Well yes and no. More yes than no."

Rain: Outside of building "Stupid jerk!" Kicks rock hard. "Owww!!" hops on un injured foot, holding injured foot

Jack: "So, when d'ya suppose they'll be back, mate?" Looks at Shawn

Shawn: "Hmm...I have no idea. It could be awhile. She's just as stubborn as he his."

Jack: Cringes "Well if she's that bad, they're gonna be awhile."

Barbossa: Shouting at Rain "Yer bein' unreasonable woman! What was I suppose to do when Jack started into me? Kiss him!?"

Shawn: "Yeah...I don't think they're coming back."

Rain: Whips around, glaring at him "No! But maybe not be such a child and just ignore him, eh, you, you stubborn twit!!" pounds fists on his chest

Jack: "Ooo lets go check it out, mate!" gets out of chair and sneaks out back door

Shawn: "W-wait! Oh damn it!" follows

Jack: "Oh, look, she's ittin' em'!" grins widely, looking around the corner at Barbossa and Rain

Shawn: To Rain and Barbossa "Can we please settle this peacefully?"

Barbossa and Rain together: "NO!"

Shawn: Sighs deeply "Well, I suppose I might as well enjoy the show."

Jack: "There you go, mate! How 'bout some rum?" hands Shawn rum

Shawn: Sighs "Why the hell not?" takes a sip "EW that's grouse!" Hands rum back

Jack: "You must be crazy, mate! Wait..." leans close and whispers "Are you a unich?"

Shawn: "..."

Rain: "You know what, I have an interview to do. Get out of my way." Attempts to push passed Barbossa

Barbossa: Grabs Rain roughly by the arm as she brushes past him "Oh no ye don't. We're settlin' this first. I will admit that I may have overreacted to that dog Sparrow. But I have to defend me honor. And I promise, that just for ye, that I'll behave."

Jack: "Bah, this is no fun any more. Come on, snippy. Lets go back inside."

Shawn: Punches Jack's back

Jack: Nearly tripps

Shawn: turns to walk back into studio but stops to talk to Jack "And no. I'm not a unich."

Jack: Timidly "Aye, got it mate."

Rain: "Humph, fine, but I'm still mad at you!" glares at

Barbossa: Grins and tilts her chin upwards, kissing her sweetly

Rain: All stumbily "Awww, okay, your forgivin, now get yer ass inside!"

Inside:

Jack: "OYE, so on with the interview."

Shawn: "Yes, finally!" exasperated sigh "Now, Captain Barbossa. Jack told me earlier that the two of you used to be good friends. What was it that made you betray him?"

Barbossa: "Greed, lad. Pure and simple. Jack trusted me with information he shouldn't of. And a captain is only captain so long as he maintains control.

Shawn: "I see. And Jack, how do you feel about this?"

Rain: Takes seat on Barbossa's lap, wrapping arms around his neck and playing with his hair "What is this, a therapy session?"

Jack: "Jus' what I was thinkin' love. Ow' do I feel about it? Well, I s'pouse I did kill him...once, so were square." grins

Barbossa: Rolls eyes

Rain: Squeals, kissing Barbossa and cooing in his ear "That's hot."

Barbossa: Smirks

Shawn: To Rain "We are here to do an interview, after all. And it seems that with Hector here, I'm the only one of the two of us who's actually asking questions."

Jack: "Hmm...You know he does have a point luv."

Barbossa: "Wait just a minute, Sparrow. Who's side are ye takin'? Because it seems to me, that yer tryin' to play both sides at the same time."

Rain: "Okay okay! Both of you stop bickering. Okay, Jack, I've always wanted to know, what's the story behind the reindeer bone in your hair?" points to the long white stick in his dread locked hair

Jack: Grins "Ah, ye picked an interesting question ta ask, love."

Barbossa: rolls eyes again

Jack: "The bone actually used to belong to a chief of a primitive tribe of natives. They didn't take kindly to me at first. After a rather bloody battle, mostly for them, the chief tied it into me hair as a symbol of respect."

Shawn: "Interesting. Do each of your hair ornaments have a story behind them?"

Barbossa: laughs heartily "Ye actually believe that? That's nothing but a bold faced lie. He actually got while on a huntin' trip. He shot the reindeer and liked one of the bones. So he stuck it in that rat's nest he calls hair."

Rain: Giggles "Mmm, Barbossa dear, play nice..." nuzzles the crook of his neck, shifting her legs around

Shawn: "Oh, God, look what you've done Hector." shakes head

Barbossa: "Done what, lad?"

Rain: Nips at Barbossa's neck, whispering sweet something's into his ear

Barbossa: "OH, that." grins

Jack: To Shawn "I dunno about you mate, but I'm gettin' a bit sick of this lovey dovey stuff."

Shawn: "After being around her long enough, you get used to it."

Jack: "Well I don't have the time to get used to her. And I better things to do than sit around an' watch these two go at it. So at that, I'll take me leave." Begins to walk off

Rain: Looks up from kissing Barbossa "Oh, bye Jack, see you later!" returns to making out with Barbossa. chair falls over. Her on top of him. More making out.

Shawn: O.O;;;;; "Uh..." grabs Jack and pulls him back into his seat "You're not going anywhere until we're done here." looks over to Rain still making out with Barbossa "Jack, I'm gonna need your help to get her off of him. On the count of three, we lift her off him and tie her to her chair. Ready? One...two..."

Jack: "Three!"

Barbossa: Stands up, drawing sword and pointing it at them, holding Rain tightly to him by her waist "Don't ye dare disturb me while I be pleaserin' me woman!" Does fancy sword move

Rain: "No, dear, it's alright. We can finish later." pulls him back onto seat, and sits on other chair, laying her head on his lap "Kay, we can continue."

(An Aroused)Barbossa: strokes her hair

Shawn: frustrated "It's impossible to work with you while he's here! I'm outta here! starts to walk off stage

Jack: stops Shawn "Now wait a minute mate. If I've got to endure this then so do you."

Shawn: glares at Jack evilly

Jack: "And vise versa, if you don't have to endure this, neither do I. Please take me with you."

Shawn: shrugs uncaringly "Why not? Let's go."

Rain: blinks after them "So..." looks up at Hector "Can we have sex now?" blinks innocently.

Barbossa: "Sure we can. But ye have to end the show first or else this'll have to go under 'lemons', instead of interviews. So as soon as ye end the show, we can have some 'alone' time in me quarters..."

Rain: "Oh, yea. Uhm, thanks for watching/reading...so uhm...see you soon!" turns off Camera and pounces on Barbossa.

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