Disclaimer: None of 'em are mine, yatta-yatta etc.
Warning: Written in less than three hours to appease Shadow.

There's thirty minutes in every day. Only thirty and I mean to spend each of them with him.

It's the blink of an eye, passing too quickly to take note of, sometimes. He's almost never here, except when there are thirty minutes… My thirty minutes. It's the only time I have with him, and I make sure I'm awake for them, even when it hurts to breathe.

It always hurts to breathe now.

The door creaks open and he slips in, smothered in a coat hanging down past his knees. He finds me easily enough in the room; it's sparsely furnished and I'm the only one in here… You'd be surprised at how invisible I've become though. He can see right through me.

He knows I'm here though, and the coat pools on the floor as he moves to my side, kneeling and taking my hand into his. I still don't understand why he does that. Cool lips brush across my skin, sucking away excess heat. His mouth is devouring my pain.

There's only thirty minutes to do anything, to say anything. I can't move. He stares back at me, eyes dark with hurt. They pale with understanding, gentle with warmth. I will never understand you, will I?

I don't have to ask to know it's true. His lips brush across my forehead. Sweat beads vanish under his touch. They become miniscule diamonds, bits of ice. His chill is welcome, though it makes no sense to me.

He never was the ice.

Why is he so cold now?

"Excuse me sir, visiting hours are over."

She's small and cheerful. Too cheerful for this dismal place. He glares over his shoulder at her, but she's unaffected, going so far as to touch him on the shoulder. Agitation flashes through his eyes, but he stands and backs away, apologizing silently. I let my own eyes drift close.

Thirty minutes.

I still haven't made up my mind.

His name drifts across my lips softly, but he's already out the door, and the room is silent and blank once again. I'm bleeding into the walls. They drain my color away.

XXXXX

There's thirty minutes in every day. I mean to spend each of them with him.

I can only see for thirty minutes, only hear and feel. Only touch. I live for the thirty tired, weary moments I spend inside a concrete block, bleached white with a single bed as the central eye-catcher. He's paler every time I see him, and now is no exception.

The coat that feels so heavy drifts off my shoulders, finds its home on the floor. They told me to be sure I do the same thing every time I come in, or he may not recognize me. I don't want to repeat my motions every day, every moment I'm here, but it's all I can do. They're watching, the vultures.

His coat finds the floor. I've taken to wearing it everywhere now, not just on my visits. It used to smell like him, and the odor still clings faintly. It burns my senses to let it go. The room is freezing. A few floors below, an air conditioner is humming, sending shocks of icy wind through ventilation shafts, into this room. Despite the chill, he's burning up. He's always burning up.

My hand finds his and cradles it as I kneel by the bedside. Is it my imagination, or is he warmer than yesterday? I have to find out. I let my lips kiss the back of his hand tenderly, deviating from our script a slight amount, but he takes no notice. The door doesn't fly open with nurses demanding to know what I'm doing. The world doesn't come crashing to an end. Things must be fine, then.

I breathe out softly and lean up to kiss him on the forehead. He's burning up. Little beads of sweat pour off him. His skin is salty, sallow. He refuses to say anything to me, just stares through me, not seeing. I can't help it… I know when he flinches that I've hurt him. It can't be helped. I try to soothe him. Don't be sad… I'm here. I promise I'm here. I'll always –

"Excuse me sir, visiting hours are over."

She wants me to leave, I can tell, but I shoot her an evil look. I don't want to. As petulant a child as I may seem, this is where I want to be. Go away. Don't come back. Let me be with him. Thirty minutes of my day – thirty minutes when I can breathe easily. Why does it have to pass so quickly?

Her hand touches my shoulder, shakes me back into awareness, and she pulls at me, shepherding me out of the room, leaving him behind, his eyes drifting closed. I want to jerk away from her, scream, yell – anything. What if this time his eyes won't open?

Thirty minutes…and I still haven't been able to get rid of the guilt.

XXXXX

"You're never around anymore."

"I can't abandon a multi-billion dollar company, even for you."

"You said you'd always be there. You're never around anymore!"

"Maybe you're the one who isn't around!"

"You've got to be kidding me – I'm always around."

"Then maybe that's the problem. Get out of my hair. Maybe I'll learn to appreciate you the way you want me to, then."

"But – "

"What's wrong? Afraid to walk out in the rain alone? Afraid of the dark? Afraid?"

"Never."

"Then get out."

"You need me around…"

"I need no such thing. Get out."

xxxxx

"Mr. Moutu?"

"Yes? Who is this?"

"This is Domino Central Hospital. Mr. Kaiba has been hospitalized."

No. Nononononononono….

"He's been asking to see you."

Silence.

"Sir?"

"I'll be there."

"Sir, there was another message for you – "

"'No more,' wasn't it?"

"Sir?"

"'No more playtime for the children…' Because he never was."

"Sir?"

"I'll be there."

Silence.

How do you manage it? How do you manage to be so close and so distant all at once? You're impossible, but I can't let you go.

XXXXX

And now you're in the hospital.

And now you're watching me.

And now I'm wishing I hadn't said some of the things I did.

And now I'm wishing I could keep silent sometimes.

And now I'm wondering how much longer you have.

And now I'm wondering how much longer until…

And now I'm waiting for that line to go flat.

And now I'm waiting for nothingness to happen.

And now I'm wondering what the hell you meant by that line.

And now I'm wondering if I ever explained.

And now I'm working on not breathing as long as I can.

And now I'm working on expanding my lungs again.

And now I'm wanting to never let you go.

And now I'm wanting to never let you near.

I…

I…

Just don't want to let go.