This is a rather silly idea that I've had in my head for quite sometime, inspired by one of my friends from school. I always liked the Anti Sora from the first Kingdom Hearts game and the Replica Riku was pretty cool as well, so I've decided to write a fic dedicated to the two of them. This part general/friendship, part humor fic, so if you're looking for a laugh and something interesting and different, then look no further!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts yada yada yada belongs to Squaresoft/SquareEnix/whatever name they're going by now, not me blah blah blah you get the idea.

Chapter One: An Unlikely Partnership

(A.K.A. The obligatory introduction of characters and weak exposition until the really fun insanity begins)

The first thing he was aware of was that it was dark. Very dark. If he put a hand in front of his face, he had a feeling that he wouldn't be able to see it.

Then again, maybe opening his eyes would help.

He opened his eyes.

Yep, pretty dark.

Next thing he was aware of was that he was laying on his back and appeared to be in pain. He winced as he sat up, adjusting his eyes to the darkness. He had been laying in the middle of a path that seemed to stretch on forever and ever. Nothing else was around him and he vaguely wondered what would happen if he stepped off the path. It was a regular asphalt path, nothing special about it except that it seemed to be it's own light source, as if was the only thing he could see in the darkness.

Where was he?

Why was he here?

Who was he?

And more importantly, why in the world was he wearing a skirt?

He eyed his outfit with disdain. He was wearing a white grass-like shirt and a black and blue outfit with a strange heart symbol on it. He pulled on the edge of the skirt, as if checking to see if it was real. Unfortunately, it was. He pulled down on a strand of white hair that was hanging in his face. Frowning, he let go and crossed his arms, eyebrows furrowing.

Think...think...what's the last thing you remember?

That's just it. He couldn't remember anything. Anything that made sense, anyway. All he had was a bunch of random bursts of static (yes, static, as weird as that was) and then flashes of people, such as a boy with brown hair, a really pretty girl with blond hair, and a boy that looked exactly like him but dressed differently, and then nothing but pain and random noises. Had he hit his head?

He checked the back of his head, wincing when he felt a small lump. Yep, that's going to be the size of Castle Oblivion tommorow.

He shook his head at the thought. What the heck was Castle Oblivion?

Suddenly, there was an odd rustling noise nearby him. He quickly looked about him, a little nervous of what it could be. After all, he had no idea what could be out there. Then again, what else would there be out in a barren wasteland like this?

Apparently me. He reminded the narrator.

...Oh yeah.

By the way, who are you?

...Your conscience. Now shut up and go back to ignoring me.

Anyway, with that weird fourth walling out of the way, he focused once more on the mysterious noise that seemed to be coming closer toward him. On one hand, he wanted to know what it was, in case it was another person that could tell him where he was (or who he was, if that was possible). On the other, it sounded really suspicious and possibly dangerous.

"If anybodies out there, come on out. And if you're some kind of ghost or monster, then I would appreciate it if you stay the hell where you are." he called out into the darkness, hoping to get some kind of response.

At first, the rustling stopped and he was sure that whatever it was had gone. He let out a sigh of relief that he hadn't realized he had been holding.

Quite suddenly, the rustling noise started up again and got closer and closer until without warning, he found himself flat on his back, air suddenly cut off from his lungs. Gasping for air, he looked down, seeing some sort of key-like weapon (a keyblade, his mind suddenly supplied for him) pressing down against his windpipe. It was surrounded by an odd blackish-grey energy and even though it seemed like it would go right through him, it still had enough force to choke him.

He looked up into the yellow eyes of a pitch black creature that was pinning him down to the ground. It looked like a person with spikey hair and baggy clothes, yet it was covered in a dark energy around its body, obscuring anything else that might have identified it as being human. It was grinning down at him rather menacingly.

"Well well well, isn't this a surprise. It's a pleasure to see you again, Creator." it said. It's voice sounded male, but there was something inhuman in it's tone. It raised a clawed hand up so that he could see it. "I'm going to enjoy ripping you to shreds and feasting on your heart..."

"I don't even know you!" he managed to say, not liking the sound of that. Creator? How does it know me? And why does it have such hate toward me?

The creature frowned at this, moving the keyblade a little. "How could you forget? You created me as a weapon to use against your best friend. Thrown away when I was of no use anymore and ended up in this place for the past year!"

He coughed. "I'm sorry, but I don't remember you. Heck, I don't remember anything at all. I just woke up here. Now get off me."

Surprisingly, the creature removed the weapon and stepped off of him, looking a little disappointed and curious. As he sat up clutching his throat and trying to force air back into his lungs, the creature was a few inches away, examining him.

"Odd...you look just like him...but your dressed differently...and..."

The creature suddenly leaned forward, head inclined toward his chest, as if listening for something. The closeness was making him uncomfortable and thankfully the creature backed off.

"You don't have a heartbeat."

To hear an odd creature tell you that you don't have a heartbeat is disconcerting to hear. Naturally, he came to the typical conclusion that most come to when being told that.

"Oh my god...I'm dead. I'm dead and I'm a zombie..." he whispered.

The creature rolled it's eyes. "No, you are not a zombie. Dead however, possibly. The only things I know of that don't have hearts are heartless and nobodies. However, even though you have our symbol-", it said, pointing to the heart symbol on the boy's chest, "Most heartless have the beady yellow eyes and an insatiable blood-lust to devour people's hearts. You wouldn't happen to-"

"No."

"Then you're not a heartless. Maybe you're a nobody."

"And that would be...?"

"It's the shell that's left behind when someones heart is removed from their body. But...you seem to have something serving a function like a heart. An artificial one, it seems."

For some reason, both terms sounded familiar to him. The heartless, as he now realized what it was, groaned, looking vaguely annoyed.

"Great, just great. I finally pick up on the bastard's scent only to find out that it's just a replica of him."

Suddenly, someone's voice, his own, permeated through the thick fog of his memories, "I may be Riku's replica, but don't expect us to act the same. I have no intention of imitating some wimp who can't deal with the darkness inside him."

"Replica Riku."

"Eh?" the heartless appeared to be raising an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not sure, but I think that's my name."

The heartless didn't say anything for a minute before smiling unpleasantly. "Funny, that was his name too. Riku. Never liked that name."

The heartless turned, raising its arms behind it's head casually and acted like it was going to walk away. "But it doesn't matter, because you're not who I'm looking for. You're just a fake."

Fake?

"You're wrong."

The heartless paused, turning back around to face him. The replica's hands curled into fists. "I'm no fake. I may look like him, but I have my own heart."

For some reason, his own words surprised him. They sounded familiar. But he continued on, "And that's more than I could say for you, heartless."

It's yellow eyes narrowed and it's mouth curled into a snarl. "I would watch your mouth. I could tear it off your damn face if I wanted to."

The replica felt an odd energy course through him as a bat-wing shaped weapon appeared in his right hand. It felt familiar and seemed to react instinctively to him as he moved into a battle stance. "Try me."

The heartless also moved into a battle stance as well, the keyblade held in the same manner as the replica's weapon. (Soul Eater, his mind also supplied into the gaps) They seemed to have a stare-down of epic proportions that might have bored the heck out of both the readers and the author waiting for something to happen if it had lasted any longer. After a few seconds or more of staring and silence, the heartless suddenly chuckled and shifted out of it's battle stance.

"Forget it. I would be wasting my time with you. Besides, killing the first thing I've met here that can actually talk would be such a waste." It said as it dismissed it's weapon.

The statement confused the replica. "Can't you talk to other heartless?"

"Oh sure, but it's nothing but 'eat hearts' in nearly unintelligible language to humans. In fact, most heartless can't talk to humans, let alone have enough intelligence to have wills, minds, and personalities of their own. To date, there's only two that are like that. One's dead and you're looking at the other." it explained, looking rather proud of this fact.

"How did you do that?" the replica asked, despite himself.

"Well, one day I'm living in the muck of this place, thinking about eating hearts and such, when suddenly from out of nowhere, this book hit me in the back of the head." It said as a book appeared in it's claws in a poof of darkness. It had a picture of a man with white hair and red eyes with a heartless symbol. He had a hand to his chin and looked smart as a title in bold letters said "Heartless Theories and More by Ansem"

"Of course, not knowing what the hell this was, I tried to eat it. Didn't really work out, obviously.", It said as the replica noticed how dog-earred it was and the claw/teeth marks in it. "But after I somehow had opened it and had noticed a few words, I became rather curious. So it took me a month before I could actually read this book cover to cover. Speech took a little longer. The book talks of how heartless work and how to control them, as well as how to make one. But that didn't mean I understood it. Not until I read the last part, which was a small section he wrote as instructions in case something happened where he became a heartless. Using the instructions in this, I became more...smarter, you could say."

"Impressive."

"Unfortunately," the heartless frowned as the book disappeared, "It brought back a lot of thoughts and memories I would of otherwise ignored, as well as imitations of feelings that I normally wouldn't have. I may not actually feel them, but I know what it's like. It's like giving a nobody's brain to a heartless. And once that happens, you're almost neither one or the other. You become just a freak. So now, I'm getting out of this hellhole so that I can apply my knowledge to more useful things." it finished, thankful that it would never have to speak that much to explain a plot-hole ever again.

"So wait, you know a way out of here? Where?" the replica asked, glad at the prospect of getting the hell out of this dump.

"I used to know where it was, but the exit...sort of disappeared about a month or two ago."

"How does an exit 'sort of disappear'?"

"If the door is sealed. But I think there was a second way out." The heartless looked him up and down. "You can come if you want, since you seem pretty intellectual and wanting to get out of here too. 'Sides..." the heartless smirked. "This is the first time I've found someone worth talking to."

The replica shrugged before beginning to walk, keeping up with the heartless' pace. He may not have liked this creature that much, but at least it was someone who knew where the exit was. And somehow, it seemed to know things about him, whether they were true or not. Maybe it would help uncover the memories he was missing.

"Mind if I see that book?" he asked, figuring that the book might have something worth reading, if the effect it had on the heartless was an indication.

"Sure. If you want, you can look at this other book that hit me in the back of the head what I believe was last Tuesday. Although I didn't find it as interesting as the last one." it said as it pulled another book out. It was drastically different from the other one, even though it had the same man on the cover. Ansem was wearing a goofy grin, floppy white hat, and a pink kitchen apron. He was doing a thumbs up with one hand and holding a whisk in the other under the caption "Down Home Cooking: In the kitchen with Ansem the Wise!"

"Err...no thanks." the replica said as it took the first book. He flipped it open to the first chapter, "How to tell if you are a heartless or about to become one. The first key would be the gaping hole in your chest, since you seem to have grabbed a hold of this book instead of seeking medical attention in the short time span you have left until..."

There was about a stretch of a few minutes of awkward silence before the replica spoke up. "So, what are you going to do when we get out of here?"

"Take over the world." it stated casually.

The replica nearly dropped the book. "What!?"

"OK, technically universe, there's too many damn worlds to take over. But anyway, after we get out of Kingdom Hearts, I'm going to rally the heartless and take over the universe. Then again, the heartless are distracted easily, and I need a base of operations...But anyway, after I've done so, I'll hunt down the bastards that I feel are responsible for my existence and for their killing of my race. All that good stuff." it said, ignoring the look on the replica's face.

"Right..." the replica said skeptically, starting to wonder if this was a bad idea to be hanging around someone as insane as this creature.

The heartless suddenly turned to him. "Want to join me?" it asked.

"Eh!?"

"You know, be evil and all that."

"...I'm not really into evil."

"...I'll give you food."

"Sorry, but I'm not going to turn evil for free food." (Although the idea did sound very appealing to the now hungry replica)

"Look, do you want to help me take over the universe? It's not like you've got anything to do once you get out of here. Hell, you barely know your own name. So maybe you can help me out with this until you figure out what it is you're going to do or if you get your memories back."

Surprisingly, there was logic in it's words. What would he do after he left? Where could he possibly go if he didn't know anything about himself? Sure, taking over the universe didn't really sound like his kind of thing, but at least it was something to do for the time being until he recovered his memories.

"...Fine, but if we're going to take over the universe, then I should know my partner's name." the replica replied.

The heartless smirked before stopping and extending a clawed hand.

"Anti Sora. You can call me Anti. I rather dislike the name Sora."

"Why?"

"The bastard you're modeled after modeled me after his best friend. Didn't like him either, frankly. In fact, his friend killed me and that's how I ended up here."

A mental image of the strange boy with spiky brown hair from earlier weaved in and out as he grasped the other's hand. "Replica Riku, as I told you before. I guess you can call me Riku or something. Until I can come up with a better name of some kind."

"...Repliku?"

"...I think not."

"Suit yourself."

They shook.

A partnership had been formed.

"..."

"..."

"...I still think Repliku would be a good-"

"No."