Kal-chan and Skippy do not lay any claims on the characters mentioned in this little dose of insanity. Those bastards over at Square Enix own them all, and they won't share!!

Final Fantsay Expressions of Affection

You're the severe Oedipal Complex to my Sephiroth.

You're the horrific mental scarring to my Cloud.

You're the random butt rape scenes to my Cloud.

You're the magical reappearing sunglasses to my Rude.

You're the beautiful Gongaga tan to my Zack.

You're the monster cock to my Angeal.

You're the annoying Loveless quotes to my Genesis.

You're the mako tank to my Hojo.

You're the humongous bresticles to my Tifa.

You're the suicidal tendencies to my Vincent.

You're the kleptomaniac urges to my Yuffie.

You're the gaping sword wound to my Aerith.

You're the n00b to my Denzel.

You're the screaming Japanese voice to my Barrett.

You're the alcoholism and constant vulgarities to my Cid.

You're the Geostigma to my dying orphans.

You're the severed bleeding head juice to my Jenova.

You're the big ass falling rocks to my meteor.

You're the impending doom to my approaching Tonberry.

You're the Midgar slum slang to my Reno.

You're the "Tifa, why am I not black like Daddy?" to my Marlene.

One fine day, Skippy and myself were sitting around my room, thinking up new ways to torture our favourite characters from eff eff vee eye eye. ™ No, not the game, that little tag-age we've given the game. Ours! Ours, I say! Thus, this lovely bit of crack has been born!

It all started with the Final Fantasy: Crisis Core Official Guidebook. We were looking through, trying to keep the drool in our respective mouths, when we saw this picture of Angeal's penis, with Angeal attached. Srsly, his dick is HUGE! So we're sitting on the floor in Barnes and Noble, rolling around, laughing our asses off at Angeal's monster cock. Then it spiraled out of control like a rolling metal death trap. That, my friends, is the essence of our insanity. Enjoy :3

Much loves,

Kal-chan & Skippy

P.S. If you're wondering why Cloud has two wholesome expressions dedicated to him you're probably not, though it's because he's special.