I just 'aww'd when this popped into my mind :D
It was begging down on its hand and knees. So I said yes.
Okay, so its pretty AU. After Dally dies there is a glorious- er- painful vist from Austin Winston, Dallas' dad. Yea, its a bad pun, I know. Please enjoy it.
There was a knock on the door- Darry looked over and realizied Sodapop and Ponyboy were definetly not making a move to get off of the couch- too entranced by Mickey, Donald, and Goofy's antics on a pirate ship. He stood and walked over to the door and opened it. Thinking briefly for a moment that who it could be since any of the gang would just walk right in. He opened the door and thought it was Dally- but stopped when he saw the wrinkle and age-lines around the mans mouth which seemed to be in a perpetual frown. His eyes were an icy blue color, but were dull with years of depression, and his hair was loosing its color on his side burns, the blode was fading to white. Darry stared.
"...Are you.. Darry Curtis?" he asked in a low, hoarse voice
"Yes.." he answered slowly, "But I'm afraid I don't know you.. sir?"
"My name's Austin Winston" he said and then Darry felt his eyes grow wide, and he knew Soda and Pony were looking over at him with the same shocked expression of their face. The man exhaled uncomfortably, "I.. I was looking through--"
"You wanna come in?" Darry cut him off and held the door open for him, and tentativley the man stepped into the threshold, he looked briefly at the two boys but it caused his heart to ache so he looked away, "Can I get you anything..?"
"I just needed to know about.." his throat choaked, "..about Dallas."
"What is it you want to know?" Darry shut the door- Pony and Soda shut off the television and turned to the men behind them. Watching them tentativley, waiting for Darry's cue to scram or something.
"I.. I was looking through.. through his room" he exhaled, "I never realized how bare it was- how empty. I- I never realized he was never there." he exhaled, controling himself, "Then, I ran across this.." he pulled a notebook from inside his jacket and showed it to Darry. The cover was red, tatered, ripped and cracked with obscene pictures of nude woman, focusing mainly on their breasts, and poor sketches of tuff looking mustangs and cadillacs, and in a top corner was scrawled Dally's initials.
"Its his notebook, or journal of some sort.." he opened it, "..he talks a lot about the Cade kid that died, fighting, sex, and 'broads'. There were so many names, the 'Johnny' was the most, but the next was 'Darry'.." he exhaled, "Darry, who was like a father, and Sodapop and Ponyboy who were like a brothers.. Please, tell me more about him. About my boy."
Darry nodded and motioned for him to take a seat. Pony and Soda scooted down so he could. Then Darry started to talk- just went on and on about the Dallas Winston he'd known, and taken care of as best he could. Ponyboy and Sodapop threw in their own stories and memories- opinions and such as he spoke and all the while Austin sat, fingers laced under his chin in silence. They went on for hours- telling this man who his son was and when they stopped he was quiet for a long time before speaking.
"The last vivid thing I remember of my son, he was nine, his mother and I had just broken up and she had promised to come back for him. He was up in his room- the door was locked, and I could hear him crying. I waited outside the door for him to quiet down before I knocked. 'Go away' he shouted, but I pushed on the door- his crying started up again and he screamed at me to go. But, I got in. He.. his face was so red and I just sat down and held him, he was pounding so hard on my chest, trying to get away but I wouldn't let him go. I never was sure how long I sat there, holding him, cradling him in my arms until he fell asleep and the next morning they were both gone.." he wiped his eyes on the back of his hand
"When he came back from Tusla all I heard was 'fuck this' and 'fuck that' I tried to be a father again- but New York had hardened him, and he never really did grasp his mother's death. I tried- not for a long time, but I did try, to confront him. But, he was more stubborn and I gave up. Then we parted. I drank more- I had to drown my greif some how and the last four years just flew by. I don't remember anything. I knew, vaugley we were just two seperate people taking turns in and out of jail- that he was getting along without me. But it never sank in. Then one day I awoke and realized I don't remember telling him I loved him, or even his birthday, I only remember vague arguments that ended in violence. I loved my boy. I really did!" he said- dissolving into sobs
"I read about him in the paper the next morning.." he drew a shuddering breath, "..He robbed a damn gorcery store?! I couldn't believe it. Where'd he get the gun? Why'd he have to go out like that? He was a smart boy. A strong boy. Coulda' gone places if he used his head. But... even if he lived it wouldn't have made a difference. Dallas never gave a fuck what I had to say. Never did. Never.. never would. I could have told him I loved him- wanted to try again to be a family but he'd have some wise-crack about his mother and I'd back down. If... maybe if I'd have known- stopped being so blind and just once put him in his palce over my knee he'd have straightened out.. but, then I realize he'd only push me away more." he was silent again but the atmosphere was so thick no one spoke and once he collected himself he started again
"I'm not here for pity. I'm leaving Tusla tomorrow- I'm not sure where I'm going. But, I needed to know about my boy. Anything about him. I.. I like what you told me, mostly. He was storng- strong, brave Dallas. Always was. Ever since he was little I knew he'd be a trooper. He was my little man, for years he as my boy, and.. just like that it stopped. Then, about Johnny. Poor kid. It.. it hurts thinking all my boy had to live for was the innocence of this other boy. Thats certainly how it sounded from Ponyboy, here. That- he needed light and when it got snuffed the little bit of goodness he'd always clung to was severed and he lost himself. I wish I could have been a better father. But I can't. I can't change time."
He looked down at the notebook and opened it to the back, there was a small package of photographs and he handed it, with a shaking hand to Darry. "You keep these- the names are on the back- there's only a few of him and I'm keeping them. I dunno what you should do with them, but I'm not taking them with me. Just my sorrows and the fragments of my boy." he stood and exhaled, "thank you, Darry, Sodapop, Ponyboy. I.. I guess all I needed was to hear someone say he wasn't trash. All the paper said was he was trash. Dallas wasn't trash- tarnished, maybe, but my boy was never trash."
Darry had taken the envelopes and nodded, "If you need us.." he reached over to a notebook and yanked out a peice of paper and scribbeled down their number, "If you need anything, you give a ring." he said forcing the paper into the man's hands and he nodded.
"Thank you." and turned to leave
"Hey! Mr. Winston!" Ponyboy piped up and rushed to his side, "Can I see the good pictures of Dally?"
Austin nodded and from his pocket produced three polaroids, one was of Dally stretched out on his stomach on the Curtis' couch- Pony remembered he'd only been in his underwear but the picture didn't show that- just a messy blonde fast asleep- looked years younger. The next was of the Dally they knew, cold, hard, narrow-eyed and smoking a cigarette leaning on a lamp post, by the angle he asume it was taken by Two-Bit who had waltzed around a few times with a camera. The third was of him and Johnny. The smaller boy pressed tight under one arm in half a hug- both of them grinning. Soda had no idea who took this, but assumed it was one of them- probably Dally since he was taller. He handed them back to Austin who took them carefully.
"You did have a good son, Mr. Winston" Pony said, "Sometimes Dally was rough, if you rubbed him the wrong way, but I knew him. He was rough. But, he was tuff too. A real man through-and-through"
Austin smiled, "You're a good kid, Ponyboy. Keep it that way." and he left just like that. It was like he'd never come, Soda went on his way to bed and so did Pony but Darry sat up a little longer. Thinking about Dally. He'd ached the loss of Johnny a little more, but he loved Dally too- of course he did. Dally was one of them. Dally was their buddy.
--
The pick-up truck rumbeled along through Tusla and out the city limits. The man in the front was trying to decide what state to go to and what he should do there. Tusla held too many memories and none of them were very good. No, not very good at all. If he had a sixthe sense, or intuition of any kind he would have turned and saw the two boys sitting in the bed of his truck passing a cigarette back and forth.
"What're we doin'?" asked the dark one with unruly black hair who sat in a jeans jacket, legs-crossed on the floor
"Dunno." shrugged the older boy, his blonde hair shining in the night under the moon, reflecting off his high cheek bones. "Don't rightly matter now, huh? We ain't exactly alive, Johnny" he smirked
"I know" replied Johnny to his best friend, "But, why you care what he does anyway? Hey! Dally I saw that!"
"Saw what?" Dally rolled his eyes in response and looked at the cancer stick between his two fingers. Aside from the fact no one could see them being dead was a lot like being alive, just a lot easier
"You're cryin'!" Johnny grinned
Dally waved him off, "Aw, no I ain't Johnny"
Johnny reached his hand out and touched his cheek but pulled his hand back having felt no wetness of any kind. He sighed and leaned back, "Why you care 'bout him now anyway?"
"I don't" Dally lied, and Johnny knew it, "Just figure he may go to Reno and we can sneak into one of them titty bars!" he grinned wolfishly at Johnny who rolled his dark eyes in response
"Sure ya' did, Dal. Sure."
Dally smirked, "What? You act like they can see us!"
There was silence. Then Johnny spoke up again: "He said he loved you, Dal. Don't that mean nothin' to ya'?" he asked, squinting through the darkness to see him better but all he saw the soft ember on the end of hsi cigarette and it hardly illuminated his face
"Sure it means somethin', Johnnycake. Just don't ask me what 'cause I don't rightly know." Dally replied with a shrug. He flicked the butt of the stick away and reached into his pack, "The best part 'bout bein' dead Johnnycake, aside from hangin' with you for all eternity, is that we never run outta' smokes! And look, Johnny, they're Kools!" he held up his pack of eternally full Kool's cigaretes and waved them back and forth
Johnny smiled and settled back in the bed of the truck. Whatever. If Dally was happy- and fixin' to go to Reno to view illegal activities he'd never have been allowed to partake in when he was alive, Johnny would go with him. Because, they were buddies, and Dally was in a good mood now, maybe forever. Johnny knew he'd always cared about what his Pops was up to. Just took them a long time to finally click.
Uhm, I think I rambled. Drabble. Its pointless. But love it!
