AN: I don't know what to say right now, and I'm processing on the Season Finale. This was written inside five minutes.
Why did it feel so much like when he'd taken her chip out?
He was sitting on top of her then too, cutting into her perfect skin. Admittedly, his uncle and mother were there…
Derek…
John shook that thought away. Derek would have had a stroke at what happened in that bed this morning.
"She's not human. She doesn't have a soul, and she never will."
He'd said that, but he didn't really mean it. She had a soul. He held it in his hand. What was a human soul made from that it had greater value?
She didn't have a heart either. She had a reactor. Not a soul, software. Not a heart, a reactor. Not a skeleton, coltan steel.
Just keep telling yourself that John.
And no matter how much you need her, no matter how real she felt…
Her face never changed when he'd cut into her head. Her voice never shifted since he'd known what she was. Any topic, art history, music, war, tactics, family… never once did anything about her change.
…except for the one time she was screaming that she loved him…
This is why Riley. He said silently to her. This is why you and Cameron never really competed. If I shot her right now, if I kissed her right now, none of it would change anything. Her face was made with that expression, and it will never change, no matter what goes on beneath it.
He'd been bowed over her naked body tonight, wrist deep beneath her skin, holding her heart in his hand.
It had felt so cold.
Time travel was as he remembered it. The first thing he noticed was the smell. The air smelled of fire and decay, and john knew he had gone forward. John Henry had taken Cameron home.
Derek… Kyle…
John knew he should feel happy when he saw them, but the truth was, there was nothing but the crushing unholy guilt. He had removed himself from the timeline, and the end result was that all these people he had loved were still alive. Deep down, he knew that was how it had to be. All he had to do was remove himself from the world, and all the souls that he loved would be safe.
Including her.
She still didn't smile at him.
She was whole, she was beautiful, she was standing next to half a dozen human soldiers, and a K-9.
The dog wasn't barking. That was the clincher.
But she still didn't smile at him.
AN: Again, only five minutes work. Be gentle.