AN: Phoebe's POV. This will probably only end up being like three chapters. A before, during, and after kind of thing. This first chapter takes place in season five around the time Phoebe was first with Jason. Cole isn't dead, it's like Centennial Charmed never happened. With that Enjoy!
"What's wrong Pheebs?" Piper asked.
I looked up at my big sister with a confused look in my eyes. I wasn't quite sure why what was wrong was wrong. This thing shouldn't be affecting me like it was. It couldn't.
"I'm not sure," I sighed.
"What does that mean?"
"It's sort of hard to explain."
"Try."
"Cole started seeing someone," I whispered.
I hated how much it hurt. I was tired of getting hurt by that bastard.
"Seeing as in dating?" Piper clarified.
I nodded.
"So why does this bother you? You should be happy, he's finally moved on."
"Moved on or given up?" I asked.
"Given up on what? Pining after you? Fighting for a relationship that's never going to happen?"
"Us. By dating again, he's given up on us."
I couldn't look her in the eyes. So instead I focused on picking at the cuticle of my nail.
"For the record, you gave up on umm…"
"Us," I filled in her blank.
"Yeah that…. a long time ago. The moment you started dating again marked the end of…"
"Us," I said again. "I know, but Piper you don't know what it's like. You don't know what it's like to see your husband dating someone else."
"No, but I've met Leo's first wife and that was weird. Everyone comes with a past, Phoebe."
"Piper, I am his past. He's never been with anyone else. It hurts to think about him being with someone that isn't me."
"He doesn't belong to you anymore. The moment you signed those divorce papers, you gave up that right."
"I know this shouldn't be bothering me. I mean I have Jason and we're happy. Cole's just doing to me the same thing I did to him, but…"
"But?" Piper pressed.
"A part of me will always love Cole."
"And I'm sure a part of him will always love you. You saved him, Phoebe. You showed him what it was like to live, and love, and laugh. If you're worried he's going to forget you or something…"
I ran a hand over my face.
"No. Piper I told you, you don't understand. Before, if I found myself to be falling for him and his charm again I could. All I had to do was break up with Jason or whoever and be welcomed back into Cole's arms. It's not that easy anymore. If Cole has someone and I don't, where does that leave me?"
"Do you want Cole to be happy?"
I nodded.
"Then let him. Cole was miserable when all he did was feel pathetic for screwing things up with you."
"He told me that he could never love anyone else. So why is he even trying?"
"Why are you even trying?"
I didn't know. I knew I could never love anyone the way I had loved Cole. I guess I was trying to prove to Cole, to me, that I could live without him. But try to take him out of my life, and I crashed.
"Phoebe," Piper started. "Just think about all the times he's hurt you. He's forced you to turn against your sisters, to turn evil. He gave you a child only to purposely turn it evil. Your only child died, and took the Seer with it, because he was poisoning you. You could be a mom right now."
"I could be a wife right now," I mumbled. "I'm tired of the pain he causes me."
"So screw him…and not in the sexual tense."
I couldn't help but laugh. That was the least of my problems.
"Be happy with Jason, Phoebe. He treats you right. And let Cole do whatever he wants with his life. You're much better off without him anyway," Piper told me, stroking my hair.
"Okay," I sighed as Piper smiled and left to go check on Wyatt.
I wandered up to my room and sat down at my dresser. I propped my head up with my right hand and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I could picture me sitting there with my blonde hair held up in a messy bun and my orange and yellow pajamas on. Picture Cole shimmering in behind me, his reflection present beside mine. My right hand moved over my lips as I felt his on mine, as I pictured myself sitting on his lap on my bed.
Both of my hands came up and ran through my short hair, stopping under my chin. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid.
"Phoebe?"
"Yeah Paige?"
My younger sister appeared in my doorway.
"I umm… I just saw Cole and he was with a girl. And they were…umm…"
"It's okay, Paige. I know."
"Oh."
There was an awkward silence.
"How are you taking it?" Paige finally asked.
"Not well. Piper thinks I should just think about all of his bad qualities and just let him go and live happily ever with Jason. But I can't do that. Cole still means too much to me."
"He's evil, Phoebe."
"That's another thing. This girl of his, is she a witch or is she a mortal okay with him having some magical powers or does she just not know?"
"Maybe she's a demon too," Paige suggested.
"No. Cole wouldn't date a demon because there's no such thing as demonic love, it's just lust."
"Maybe that's all that he wants right now."
He's not like that. With me, Cole had always been about the romance, the love. But I couldn't tell Paige that because I didn't know him anymore. So I just shrugged.
"Don't worry Pheebs, you'll figure something out. You always do."
PCPCPCPCPCPCPCPCPCPCPCPCPCPC
That night I had a dream. A dream about a memory I thought I had long since suppressed.
Flashback/ Dream SequenceCole held me close to him and lightly peppered kisses onto my shoulder. I smiled and lazily traced shapes onto his arm with my finger. I could still feel the heat that emanated from our bodies, post-love making. We had been married for about a week now. Cole rested his chin on my shoulder.
"Wanna know what I'm thinking about?" Cole asked.
"Oh always," I teased.
"I'm yours forever now."
He kissed my nose.
"And these lips will never touch anything but you," he added, kissing me.
"Likewise," I smirked, pulling his lips back to mine.
His hands tangled into my hair as I deepened the kiss. His mouth still tasted like me. I pulled away and looked into his deep blue eyes.
"I love you," I whispered.
"I love you too. More than anything in this world."
We shifted so Cole was laying on his back and I could lay my head on his chest. He still had an arm wrapped around me, gently stoking my skin.
"I'm glad you talked me into marrying you," I laughed.
"Oh yes, I can see it was a really hard decision for you," Cole laughed back.
"Promise me something?"
Cole nodded, encouraging me to go ahead.
"Promise me we're going to be together forever. That every night when I go to bed, you'll be lying there next to me, ready to hold me in your arms and never let go."
"Baby, there's nothing in this world I want more than that."
End Flashback/ DreamMy alarm went off and as I sat up to turn it off, I noticed that my cheeks were wet. Cole had tried so hard to keep that promise. I was the one who kept blowing him off.