A/N: For this story, Kathy isn't around. She and Elliot divorced, she's dead, or aliens abducted her. Pick your personal preference (the last choice comes from the fact I started watching The X-Files recently). Timeline of the story is a bit hazy but it's definitely before the fifth child was born.

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Law and Order: SVU or its characters.

He loved Kathy. A part of him probably always would. They had been high school sweethearts, after all. They had been married; she had given him three beautiful daughters and a son. One couldn't erase that. One couldn't just erase all the memories because there had been good times. There had been. And he wouldn't do injustice to those years. He loved Kathy.

But –there was always a but- he wasn't in love with Kathy.

And that made all the difference.

No. He wasn't in love with her. He was in love with someone else.

Olivia. His partner, his everything.

He had loved her for years. Hell, how could one not? She was beautiful, intelligent, gutsy, loyal, and so much more.

He loved her. Olivia.

But –there was that but again– somewhere along the way he had fallen in love with her. He wasn't sure when it happened. Then again did it really matter? What mattered was now that he realized it he wanted –no, he needed– to tell her.

So that was why he was outside of her apartment, pounding on her door in the middle of the night.

She opened the door –all bleary eyed and sleepy but still looking so damn cute– and said without preamble, "What the hell are you doing here at three a.m., El?"

Inwardly, he grinned. There was that feistiness, that fire, he loved. Instead of answering, he pulled her into a tight hug.

After a brief moment of surprise, she wrapped her arms around him, stroking his back to offer the comfort she thought was needed. "What's wrong?" she asked worried. "Is it one of the kids?"

He kissed her hair lightly before he pulled back. "Nothing's wrong."

"Okay?" She was confused and tired. "So, why are you here then?"

"Everything's great, in fact," he responded. Or, at least, it would be great once he found out exactly how she felt about him. He knew she loved him but –there goes that damn but– the real question was whether or not she was in love with him.

"We need to talk, Liv," he said, taking one of her hands in his and leading her to the couch.

"And this conversation couldn't wait until morning?" she questioned, tucking her legs under her and getting comfortable.

"No."

A/N2: This will be a two-shot. It's cut off here because I like cliffhangers and because this is more from Elliot's POV (in a way) and the next chapter will be more from Olivia's. Also this is my first foray into writing the L&O:SVU world, so comments and any constructive criticism will be appreciated.