Disclaimer: I Do NOT own Naruto, I do NOT own Deidara, Sasori, or Tobi.

Warning!: This story contains YAOI/Shounen-Ai If that offends you don't read it. WARNING! this chapter contains mass amounts of angst and RAPE if that offends you use the back button now!

AN: So I know this is going to be weird and kinda shocking, but while this story has flashbacks, it isn't SasoDei! I have no clue why I decided to write this, mostly I think anyways because my Tobi (Tiki-sama) is really into TobiDei right now, and is pulling me back into the disease, I thought I was cured man! so yeah, this fic will contain, mentions of SasoDei and a lot of TobiDei and MadaDei. I know Tobi isn't really obito, but for the sake of my gag reflex i made him look less creepy.

This is a present (Of sorts) For my Tobi, I wuv you sugar!

Learning to breathe again

Chapter 1- What happens when you Disappear

It had only been two weeks.
Two weeks and the all the assholes in this place expected him to be over it already, to have moved on, and forgotten. Was everyone in this organization so heartless that they could forget someone they loved without even a second thought?
Let go of everything that reminded them of that person, forget that they existed?

He couldn't do that, he couldn't just let go and accept that they were paring him up with someone else, someone useless and irritating at that. Why couldn't the rest of these mother fuckers just let him mourn in peace, the way he wanted to. Who the hell did they think they were trying to control his life?

If he wanted to cry, to scream and to break down after hearing that the love of his life was dead, who were they to call him weak and pathetic. Love isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of humanity, apparently no one else had any. Real friends would have just left him alone, and let him work it out. He scoffed at the thought...friends, he didn't have friends, all these morons were simply work associates, nothing more they didn't care what happened to him, why should he care about them. Why should he care about anyone now that his Danna was gone, it seemed pointless, and exhausting to try.

Today had been the first day in these two weeks that he had left his room, not that he had wanted to, but when Leader sends Kisame to drag your sorry ass out of bed that's exactly what happens. Even if it had to be kicking and screaming.

Kisame came to an abrupt stop as he reached the leaders chambers, opening the door and practically throwing the blond artist inside.

"Nice to see you, Deidara, you look well"

Deidara scoffed at Pein's sarcastic words, he wasn't stupid, he knew he looked like shit.

"The fuck do you want Pein, un. Make it quick"

Pein's eyes narrowed dangerously at the artists defiant tone, reaching his hand out quickly, he grabbed the blond by his injured shoulder, digging his fingers down into the newly sewn up wound roughly.

"You should know better then to speak to me like that, Deidara"

Deidara winced, whimpering softly

"Gomennasai, Leader-sama" he said bowing his head and avoiding the redheaded mans eyes

Pein smirked at how easily the blond became subservient.

"I called you in here today to inform you that you have a mission coming up in about a week"

Deidara rolled his eyes sighing deeply

"With all due respect leader, sir I don't think I'm in any condition to take a mission,un"

"It's a simple scouting mission, Deidara and you will be assigned a new partner"

Deidara felt his heart skip a beat at those two horrific words, new partner, he wasn't ready he couldn't do this yet. Tears began to stream silently from cerulean eyes, he felt pathetic crying in front of the leader like this, but as hard as he tried he couldn't stop himself.

Pein's rinngan eyes softened a little at the sight of the bomber breaking down like he was, sure the young blond was a pain in the ass, he was cocky and arrogant, but he wasn't made of stone. The ginger gently placed his hand on Deidara's shoulder, stroking it softly.

"I'm sorry it has to be so soon, Deidara, but for the sake of this organization I couldn't delay it any longer, I understand your pain, Sasori was a good friend of mine, but you need to move on with your life and live for him, he would have wanted that"

Pein moved, wrapping his arms protectively around the small blond, who had begun to shake violently, unable to hold back his cries. Pein understood in that moment why Sasori had loved Deidara so much, the beautiful teen could have melted even the coldest heart on the planet, there was just something about the young artist that made you want to protect and love him. He stroked the bombers long golden hair delicately whispering softly to him that it would all be okay, tear filled crystal blue eyes looked up locking with ringed orange orbs, Deidara took a shaky breath as he spoke so softly Pein almost couldn't hear him.

"Who will love me now, un? Who will love a pathetic freak like me..."

Pein sighed deeply, almost brought to tears himself by the arsonists utterly depressing statement.

"Someone will love you Deidara, don't loose hope okay, I promised Sasori I would look after you if anything ever happened to him, so please, please be strong"

Deidara nodded his head weakly, picking himself up off of the floor and wiping his teary eyes.

"Thank you Pein, um...you were saying"

The redhead nodded, continuing the mission brief, after all it was why he had called the blond to his office in the first place, not to play counselor to a heartbroken bomber.

"As I was saying, Deidara you have been assigned a new partner for this mission, he was recently recruited and this will be, well a test, you are to train him before you leave, please try to work with him."

A sharp knock sounded on the hard wood of Pein's office door.

"Ah, there he is now, Come in please"

The door opened slowly to reveal the last person Deidara ever wanted to be partnered with...Tobi. The dumbass was now fully clad in Akatsuki attire, wiggling his new ring around enthusiastically, Sasori's ring. Deidara's eyes narrowed as the orange masked man entered the small office, standing to close for his comfort.

"Deidara". The artist snapped to attention at the sound of his name. "Tobi is going to be your new partner, please show him to your shared quarters, I will brief you on the mission details in three days, at which time you will prepare and depart, that is all you may leave"

Deidara snorted loudly, not at all happy he led the annoyance that was now his partner to his room, the room he and Sasori once shared, the room where the puppet master had first admitted his feelings, the room where they had their first kiss, and now, Tobi was here trying to erase all of those happy moments from the walls of that room, replacing all of its memories of Sasori, of their love. The bomber opened the door slowly, pointing to the now unoccupied side of the room and speaking to the new recruit coldly.

"That, dumbass is your side of the room, you have a dresser a bed and a work area, stay the fuck away from my side, and leave me alone, I'm going to be working, un"

Tobi bounced over to his side of the room enthusiastically, jumping on his bed like a little kid.

"Thanks, Deidara-Senpai! Tobi will leave you alone, Tobi is a good boy!"

Deidara rolled his eyes, taking off his cloak and draping it over the chair in front of his work bench, before taking out a small amount of clay and beinging to mold it, loosing all his thoughts and drowning himself in the healing power of art, he hated this. He hated that no one in this hell hole had any respect for him, for Sasori, sticking him with this masked nuisance after the puppet master hadn't even been gone that long.

He stiffened suddenly as he felt a hand on his shoulder, slipping down his back and caressing him softly, he turned to see the aforementioned dumbass standing over him, touching him.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Tobi, un"

Tobi drew his hand back quickly, standing and twiddling his fingers nervously.

"Tobi is sorry Senpai, you just looked so pretty making your art, and Tobi...Tobi loves you Senpai, he always has that's why Tobi wanted to be Akatsuki, to be closer to Senpai"

Deidara felt his eyes narrow as rage consumed his form, without even thinking his hand flew out, sharply back handing his new partner in the face.

"Don't fucking say shit like that dumbass!, don't fuck with me, un!"

Tobi recoiled, clutching his mask as if Deidara's attack had actually hurt him, he sulked back to his side of the room in silence, the only thing that made his presence known to Deidara at all, the opening and closing of the bathroom door as the new Akatsuki member retreated to take a shower, saying nothing afraid that he would provoke another attack from the distraught blond.

Deidara continued to work on his sculpture, absorbing himself back into his work, when he heard the shower turn off, and yet again a hand was placed on his shoulder he turned enraged that the idiot would pull this shit, even after he had made it perfectly clear that his affection was unwanted.

"I thought I told you to..."

He stopped suddenly as his eyes fell upon Tobi's exposed face, the taller shinobi was completely naked, save for a towel draped loosely around his pale waist, his hair was short and messy, sticking damply to his boyish handsome face, his left eye was covered by a dark patch, a long thin scar that ran down to the middle of his cheek was visible from under the eye patch, and what took the cake his visible eye was swirling and blood red, sharingan.

"Told me to what, Deidara"

The blond artist froze, his body unmoving and unwilling to listen to his demands, he needed to run, he felt unsafe vulnerable, and weak as he starred unwillingly into that swirling crimson orb.

"You haven't been very nice to us, Deidara"

The bomber whimpered, as Tobi moved his hand to cup his chin, tracing the outline of his feminine jaw lightly, his other hand wandering, and touching him unwantedly everywhere, following the curves of his body. He tried to speak, but his voice just as his body, failed him.

"You don't need to speak Deidara, when you do it hurts our feelings. We've been watching you for a long time now, you're a beautiful man" he said as he grabbed the arsonist roughly by his hair, dragging him over to his bed, the bed that used to belong to Sasori, and throwing him down, the old mattress creaking loudly from the sudden contact.

"All we've ever wanted was to be close to you, we were always jealous of that puppet, keeping you all to himself, we're glad he's gone"

Deidara closed his eyes tightly as he felt the taller man climb on top of him, he could feel his pants being slipped from his hips, his shirt torn from his body, he felt pathetic, laying there completely exposed, unable to move while Tobi threw him around like a rag doll, a toy. He tried with all his might to fight back when suddenly lips were smashed against his.

"We love you so much, Deidara you will be ours"

He felt tears well up in his eyes as fingers were shoved roughly into his mouth, and his body responded sucking hungrily on the digits against his will, when it was over he braced himself, knowing full well what was coming next, finally finding his voice he cried out in protest as those fingers violated him, all three penetrating him painfully at once.

"Tobi...please...please stttop..."

The man on top of him smiled evilly, thrusting his fingers harder and harder into the small blond as he laughed low and manically.

"Tobi isn't here right now, darling...I am Madara"

Deidara screamed as suddenly the fingers inside him were replaced with something much bigger, he began to sob uncontrollably as Madara thrust in and out of him, tearing his insides, not even caring that he was in pain, how could he say that he loved him, how could he do this, Deidara was sure as hell he didn't deserve this. He couldn't even fight back as a hand reached out, grabbing ahold of his member and pumping it roughly, his hips bucking wildly into the sweet friction, the only thing escaping his lips between sobs, loud moans as Madara pounded ruthlessly into his prostate.

Madara couldn't erase the smile from his lips as he violated the artist, the moans, and sobs turning him on even more as the bomber struggled in a futile attemp to get away. It was beautiful, he moved claiming the smaller mans lips in a beastly kiss, pulling away as he felt sharp teeth pierce his lip, the blond looking up at him defiantly. He laughed low in his throat as he brushed long golden hair out of his way, exposing a pale and unmarred neck.

"I can bite too, Senpai" he said as without warning he bit down roughly on the creamy skin, relishing the shrill cry of pain that escaped his beloved senpai's lips and the string of sobbed pleas that followed.

Madara's thrusts became more erratic, as he felt the heat pooling in the pit of his stomach, he was close, and he knew the blond was as well, quickening his pace, and moving his hand harder across the bombers weeping erection, shuddering as he released, filling the artist with his seed.
Deidara cursed his body as he came, covering Madara in his seed. The taller man leaned down, licking the stray cum from the bombers chest as he kissed him gently, the blond spitting in his face defiantly as he laughed again.

" We love you Deidara" At that he left, leaving his senpai bleeding, and broken on his former lovers bed.

Deidara cried out, as he shakily got up stumbling to the bathroom and turning on the shower, crawling weakly into the stream of hot water, washing himself as he sobbed uncontrollably. Even though the puppet master was dead, he felt like he had betrayed him. He collapsed, curling into a ball on the floor of the shower, hugging his knees to his chest tightly as he cried out an apology to the darkness.

"Danna...I'm sorry"