Chapter 1

"Well, it all comes down to you wanting me."

What this conversation had been about up to this point, she couldn't remember. She'd probably tried to corner him into something or ensure something she needed him to do. Considering it was almost eleven, it couldn't have been clinic duty or anything. But she supposed none of that was really important. Up until this point, the conversation had been insignificant. Then this sentence tumbled from his vocal cords. This sentence that would change the entire dynamic of their relationship.

He'd taken long, limped strides to continue their stroll down the corridor, but she frozen several feet back. Her arms folded across her body, her fists clenched. She licked her lips over and over as her eyes studied the back of his head. She tried to laugh at his words, tried to throw them off. She couldn't shake it, though. She couldn't help but agree wholeheartedly with his sentiments. And it wasn't like she could swing things back to their originally topic either. She couldn't quite remember what it had been.

"Cuddy?" He stopped, turning to return her stare. His azure eyes squinted in quandary and he smirked. "I speak the truth, it seems."

Strength finally returned to her body and she forced herself to shift her weight to her other foot and roll her eyes. "Yeah, House. The truth is I want you with a passion my poor, neglected body can hardly contain." Her sarcasm was thick to hide the truth.

"I knew it." He resumed his swagger as she quickened her pace momentarily to catch up to him.

"Actually, I'm being serious." She flashed him her brightest smile. "I want you to make love to me until I can't remember my own name."

It's his turn to freeze mid-step, speechless. "But…?"

"Good night, House."

She walked briskly through the double doors, feeling light as air. The New Jersey sky outside was dark with heavy rain clouds and the threat of a thunderstorm. Her arms stretched up to the heavens without her consent, but she smiled anyway. What a beautiful night.

House followed her outside, though, and she sighed exhaustedly at the thought of a continued conversation this late at night.

"You really do want me?" She's surprised to hear a catch in his voice and, despite his pride, a touch of shock.

She threw him a glance over her shoulder. "What? Now?"

"No, but I'm here for you whenever 'now' is."

Nibbling at her bottom lip, she said, "Don't you have a patient or something to be thinking about right now?"

"Patient's stable." He hobbled a few steps closer. "Well?"

"Well what?" Her tone was innocent.

"Is 'now' now?"

She chuckled lightly. "Hell no."

He looked somewhat startled by this news. "No…?"

"No. What kind of boss would I be if I gave you perks like that for free, House?" She sashayed the rest of the way to her superb, I'm-Dean-of-Medicine-bitch parking space and slid her key into its slot.

"Perks? Free? Hey, you are the only one to admit lust." He pointed out, putting his hand on her car as if his strength alone would hold her there.

"Fine. If you don't want me, what are we discussing then?" She raised her eyebrows at him before climbing into her car.

He appeared in the doorway. "Okay, say I do want you. What would I have to do in order to be entitled to these so called 'perks'?"

She frowned in consideration. "Not quite sure. I'll let you know tomorrow. Can I leave now?" Her eyes flickered to his hands pressing just above her door.

He backed off. "Fine. Tomorrow. This sounds like it's going to be fun."

She could still see his eyes glinting in the dim light as she drove away from the hospital.

The next morning, she still hadn't thought of anything. She was also beginning to feel like a prostitute offering her body in exchange for something. This was House, though. She'd never get anywhere if she didn't play dirty.

Wilson was in her office when she arrived at just after eight. He looked especially well groomed that day, with his wrinkle-free clothes and polished hairstyle. A Cardiology magazine was the victim of a war between his thumb and forefinger. He stood when she entered only to sit back down immediately with a shake of his head.

"I hope you know what you're doing." He muttered, flicking open the magazine to a random page like he might have actually been reading it before she had walked in.

"You aren't the usual suspect when my office is broken into." She tugged off her coat and hung it on the rack before meandering to the other side of her desk.

"We needed to talk as soon as possible. House hinted last night when he called me in for a consult that you and he were going to start sleeping together." Wilson told her.

"Well isn't that ridiculous." She responded, smiling politely at him as she turned on her computer.

His lips parted in preparation for speech while his eyes squeezed shut. "Oh, god. Really?"

"No. He has to do something for me first."

Wilson's eyes popped open. "Do what?"

"I haven't figured that out yet."

Glee filled his expression and it almost scared her. "That's brilliant."

"You look like Christmas come early this year. Or Hanukkah, I guess, would be more appropriate." Her eyes scanned the screen as she checked her email. "That expression is kind of creepy."

"What if House wasn't House for awhile?"

"Interesting concept. Only, if House wasn't House we wouldn't be having this conversation." Her eyes drifted back to Wilson.

"No, I mean what if that was the deal? For the next, oh I don't know, month or so. Every thing he wants to do, he has to do the opposite."

"You mean saying yes when he wants to say no?"

"Exactly."

"And what's the point of that?"

Wilson rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Don't you see? He hates clinic duty, going to meetings, showing up on time, actually working, obeying your rules, and so on. If he has to do the opposite, he'd have to do all of that."

She considered for a moment. "That… sounds like a lot of work for me and I have a feeling that would backfire."

Wilson shrugged. "Maybe. Or maybe you'd get a month of filled in charts and paperwork. You could finally bill all those insurance companies."

"Paperwork in exchange for sex?" She cocked her head to the left. "Have you done this before?"

He smiled at her. "I'm just saying that's one benefit. I'm sure there would be many more. And, if nothing else, you get to mess with House for a month instead of him driving us all crazy like usual."

"What makes you think I want to mess with House? Maybe I just want to do him." She giggled once she finished her question, but quickly cleared her throat to cover it.

"If that were the case, we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we? I'd be here telling you not to hurt him and you'd be rolling your eyes because you've known him longer than I have." Wilson folded his arms triumphantly.

Cuddy nodded. "This is true. If I really wanted him, I would have had him in my bed a long time ago."

He stared at her a moment before letting his head drop into his hands. "God, Lisa. You've done this with him before?"

She laughed. "Of course not. I've only been his boss for like ten years. You've been his friend longer than that. Don't you think you would know if I had?"

"I mean before you were his boss. Did you sleep with him before?" Wilson's eyes focused in on her.

"Someone's really forward this morning." Cuddy deleted about a third of her emails before closing the browser.

"Someone's avoiding the question."

The two looked up to see House standing behind them in her office. He leaned heavily on his cane as he quickly analyzed their guilty expressions in his head. With a grin on his face, he plopped down next to Wilson.

"Good morning, Dr. House." Cuddy finally greeted when she regained her composure.

"No need for salutations. I want to hear your answer too. Have we slept together before?" He rested his chin on his folded hands, letting his eyes dance back and forth between their faces. He was quite obviously enjoying the awkwardness of the moment.

Wilson cleared his throat and stood. "I guess I should be getting back to work then. Talk with you later, Dr. Cuddy. House, stay away from my lunch."

House watched him leave before returning his gaze to her. "Well, now that the kids are gone, mommy and daddy can have special alone time."

"I'm afraid daddy is going to have to have 'special alone time' all by himself this morning. I have a ton of work to do." She tried not to look at him. It was those very eyes that had duped her so many years ago. It was probably not a good idea to risk it now.

"Have you thought of my part yet? I assume Wilson wanted in on my task and that's why you guys were huddling in your office."

"We were not huddling."

"Sure you were. Just at a distance."

A smile slipped onto her face and she finally met his eyes. "Yeah, that makes sense."

"You want me to give you a striptease? That would take us from my part to your part the quickest." He bobbed his eyebrows suggestively at her.

She stifled a giggle. "Sorry, House. I'm not that easy."

"From what I recall…" His voice faded as he smirked at her.

"For one month you have to say and do the exact opposite from what you are inclined to do in your twisted mind." She told him.

He frowned at her. "That's it? Really?"

She shrugged. "Doesn't sound like much, but I think a month of it will be worth a night together."

"How am I supposed to diagnose if I have to say the opposite?"

"Oh, you can still give the correct diagnoses and stuff."

"And stuff?" His lips quirked. "That sounds so professional."

"Are you in or not?"

He tilted his head from side to side, crinkling his face as he considered. "Okay. One month and then I do you. Again."

She nodded. "Good."

"Or I could always make you jealous again and then you'll jump me all on your own." He waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Make me jealous with who? Wilson?"

"Hey, him and me are hot together."

She leaned back in her chair. "Do we have an accord?"

"I think you are getting more out of this than me." He pouted overdramatically at her. "I think you need to do something too."

She frowned than nodded. "That could be interesting. What would you like me to do?"

"We'll, you want me to do everything I don't want to. So, you pretty much want me to be you for a month. So, I want you to be me for the month."

A laugh escaped the confines of her mouth. "That's ludicrous. You're kidding."

He shook his head. "This could get interesting."

"Okay," She bobbed her head. "You be me for a month, and I'll be you."

"Cool."

"Actually…" Her smile dropped as doubts flooded her brain. "Maybe we shouldn't. Us switching personalities could be bad. Like really bad."

"Hey, you are the one who wanted to have a reason for us to have sex. I'm cool with just doing it now and bypassing all of these games. Actually, never mind. I'm not. Either you play this game with me or you are never getting into my pants again." He threatened.

She chuckled. "I can't believe you are threatening not to have sex with me if I don't play with you."

He coughed back a laugh. "Yeah, that's how I roll."

"Okay, fine. I'm in. You and me, one month. Starting tomorrow?"

He held out his hand for her to shake. "You're on."

She took it. "Cool."

Okay, so I switched my keyboard with my parents because that felt necessary and then I wrote this… I don't know if there is any connection… Let me know what you think!