The Real Clark Kent- Chapter 1

What do I do?

I can feel my mind drifting as I try to focus on the story I'm supposed to be writing, about the recent reconstruction of Metropolis following the disastrous New Krypton incident a month ago. While I sit here attempting to put a new spin on the repetitive process of the continuation of this rebuilding, Lois gets to enjoy the excitement of everything known as Superman a.k.a yours truly, Clark Kent. I used to believe those couple of weeks ago that I should tell Lois everything, but I'm sadly starting to realise it would be a lost cause. I realise that I'm drifting away from her, even though I was close to her as Superman, I will never be anything more than the big bumbling nerd from Smallville, known as Clark Kent to her in reality. Superman is only a small part of who I am and I realise that Lois will never see me entirely – Clark, Kal-el and Superman. I'm all three combined into one and the only one who truly sees me for who I am is my mother. The only other I would consider would be my new-found son Jason, who I adore, but he's quite young, and I don't get to see him often, whether as Clark or Superman. Also, not to mention, Lois and Richard are still engaged and are discussing possible dates for their wedding.

Even after the long 5 year absence, I'm already tired of keeping up the act of clumsy office reject, Clark Kent. I know I sound like quite the jerk at the moment, but I think anyone could sympathise with me if they had to keep up an act almost their entire lives and have people laugh at you, continuously. I sometimes wish I could break free from that act and truly be myself around those I care about.

I look over towards Lois to see her staring intently at her computer screen, reading through her almost finished article, no doubt she will soon come over to me to spell check it before handing it off to Perry. Speaking of her article, it raises questions on the where-about of Lex Luthor and what will happen if and when he's found. Yes, my good old buddy Lex Luthor. Well, when I see him again a number of things will occur. If it happens as Superman I plan to give him a particularly viscous glare and maybe indulge myself in rubbing his failure in his face, out of the public eye of course. However, if it's as Clark Kent I plan to drop the bumbling reporter act and rip into him about being a ruthless murderer and a complete idiot for attempting to pull off such an idiotic stunt such as trying to grow land and kill Superman, who believe it or not, doesn't hate him. I know, I'm going crazy, and I'm talking to myself, maybe the kryptonite that Lex stabbed me with has lingering and strange effects that are causing me to go slowly insane? Anyway, back to the issue at hand – Lex Luthor. I really don't know how Lex became the way he was, he once declared he would never become like his father, and he was right. In a way he's worse, attempting a stunt that would have wiped the American continent off the face of the earth -

"Hey Mr. Clark!" shouts someone to my left.

I slowly swivel my chair towards the person who called, it was Jimmy.

"Oh! Sorry Jimmy, I was day dreaming, what were you saying?" I answer in my stumbling, not-paying-attention act. I sometimes feel guilty treating Jimmy like this and not being truthful to him, he's a good friend.

"It's okay! It's just the chief is about to call a meeting in the conference room, just thought if your not busy you could go in there now with me and avoid the stampede into the room in a few moments?" Jimmy asks enthusiastically.

"Umm, sure! Swell idea Jimmy! Just give me a moment" I reply, as I quickly save my dismally slow progress on the article and close the file. I stand up and nod to Jimmy as he starts heading to the conference room with a slight spring in his step. I quickly hide the grin as I watch him practically skip away, as ever since he got those 'totally awesome' pictures of me as Superman holding the Daily Planet globe he's been on an extended high. I follow him at a more sedate pace, acting as though being careful not to bump into anything. I 'accidently' knock over a small pile of papers on the corner of Scott Manning's desk as I walk by, apologising 'automatically' but not stopping to help set the papers straight. I don't exactly hate anyone, but that gut has always annoyed me, either saying smart-mouth insults or being some-what cruel to Jason whenever he stays at the office after school.

I quietly enter the conference and take a seat next to Jimmy. We talk quietly about the article I'm writing and any good pictures that Jimmy's taken that could work with the article as well, but soon we hear the chief yell of everyone to get their arses in the conference room pronto for the meeting. I watch Lois stride into the room and take the seat near Perry's head chair, watching as she focuses on some notes she's written on her note pad. I'm usually interested in what she's thinking but I find myself not particularly caring. Although I'm Jason's father, these past weeks I've noticed some things about Lois that I previously overlooked. Once I thought about it properly, I've found her to be quite demanding and self-absorbed if I truly admit it to myself. I think I was so desperate for love and finding some one, that I latched onto the first reasonable woman to constantly be near me and convinced myself that I loved her. Don't get me wrong, I still care deeply for her but I realise that I don't love her, not truly as I originally thought. I just hope there is some one else out there that I can find who truly understands me and loves me for who I truly am.

I focus back on the meeting and realise Perry is dismissing everyone so we can get our 'lazy arses back to work'. As everyone makes their way back to their desks and start getting settled again, my hearing picks up an odd sound, which oddly resembles a helicopter nearby. I listen more closely and realise its coming from the direction of the roof. I quickly look around to see if anyone is paying attention, which they're not, and lower my glasses and focus my sight in the roofs direction. Using x-ray vision, I can clearly see several armed men lowering themselves onto the top of the daily planet. I look down and notice more coming up via the elevators. I decide that this is not good, both elevators are occupied and I can't make a get-away and change to my Superman outfit without most likely being seen by people which I don't want to happen. So what do I do? I wait.

A/N: Hope you like it.