Hey, guys! This is a drabble fic that I'm going to write on whenever I'm bored or, as I'm doing now, waiting for a lemon. I can also write on this if I get a crazu idea that I need to put on paper. These... are the insane drabbles of the Elemental Countries!

--LINE--

Chapter 1: Okay, new plan...

"Okay." The leader of the Akatsuki, Pein, said as he and all the other members sat around the table in their super secret cave of evil masterminds. "It's obvious that our evil goal can't be to kidnap all the children in the world and turn them into mindless killing machines." he said and turned to the pale skinned member to the right of him. "Because someone decided to do unspeakable things to the last child we kidnapped, didn't you, Orochimaru."

"Sorry..." Orochimaru said with a pout. "He just looked so cuddly... I couldn't help myself."

"Anyway... We need to figure out a new goal."

"Um..." Deidara said as he raised his hand like a child in a school. "How about spitting on all the cookies?" he asked, getting nods of approval from the people around the table.

"We can't do that... There are too many cookies in this world and we'd be dehydrated after spitting on everyone in Fire Country. It was a good plan though, Deidara." Pein said with a thumbs up. "You are truly an evil soul."

Deidara beamed with pride.

"We can make super sharp paper." Konan said, sitting on Pein's left. "We all know that everyone hates paper cuts."

"No... People would just buy paper from someone else..."

"I have a plan." came a voice from the entrance of the cave. Turning around, they saw a man wearing a black cloak and a swirled, orange mask. "It's the most diabolical scheme ever!" he said as he walked up to the table.

Pein sighed.

"So, tell me, Tobi... What's this 'diabolical scheme' of yours?"

Tobi put his hands on the table as he looked around at all the members.

"My plan is to kidnap the jinchuurikis of the nine tailed beasts, remove their demons and unleash them on the hidden villages. Doing that, we'll achieve..." he said as the ceiling in the cave opened and lighting crackled as he spoke the next two words. "WORLD DOMINATION!"

The rest of the Akatsuki sweatdropped.

"Now, Tobi... That's why you're not quite cut out for the Akatsuki. We're all evil, but we don't want to rule the world. We just want to make life a living hell for people."

"But-"

"No buts, Tobi! Get out of here!" Pein said, reaching into his cloak to pull out a rolled up newspaper. "Go on! Out, out, out!" he shouted as he smacked Tobi repeatedly on the head. "This is not for little boys like you!"

Sniffing could be heard from inside Tobi's mask as he walked towards the exit.

"You're no fair! I'm telling on you!" he cried as he left the cave.

The Akatsuki chuckled.

"Now that he's gone, we can go on with our evil planning... Ah, what's the point? I've lost my spirit now... Everyone take the day off." Pein said with a sigh as he got out of his chair. "I'm going to read my Icha Icha..."

Konan got out of her chair.

"I'm going to find the Kyuubi jinchuuriki. He's cute."

"He's taken, Konan." Itachi said as he chewed on a piece of pocky. Konan shrugged.

"So? I'm evil. I don't give a damn."

The rest of the Akatsuki went off to do whatever it is they do in their free time.

--LINE--

And that's how a day of plotting looks in the Akatsuki!

Stand by for more!

R&R!!