Title: Nude Paintings
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Zetsu, Deidara, "Sakura," Tobi, Itachi, a Hidan mention, fucked-up Deidara/Sakura/Zetsu
Word Count: 268
Rating: PG
Warning/s: …none really
Summary: "Stay away from her or we'll eat you."
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto nor do I profit from bending the characters to my every whim and having them do what I want.
Notes: The drabble fic korinacaffeine requested!

"What are you doing to Sakura, Deidara? Step away from her or we'll eat you."

"I was painting her, un! There shouldn't be a problem with that, yeah?"

"I'm afraid there is. Sakura is ours."

"Really? I don't see your name branded on her anywhere, un."

"May we see the painting then–"

"What are you–"

RIIIIIIIIIPPPP.

"Eating it."

"That was my–"

"Sakura simply cannot be seen in this state. She is undressed. Turn around or we'll rip your eyes out."

"There's no way to put her in a dress, un!"

"Are you implying that we should leave her naked?"

"I'm saying there's nothing wrong with looking at her, yeah!"

"Deidara, it would be in your best interests if you started running."

"What did I do wrong now?"

"You are standing too close. You are looking at her while she's naked. That alone should have you cut apart and roasted on a spit."

"I'm just painting, yeah! There nothing wrong with–"

"You're painting Sakura. Naked."

"But–"

"Deidara, it would really be best if you ran. We're counting to three."

"I'm not even blowing stuff up, see? I was–"

"One."

"–just painting–"

"Two."

"…you're too close, un."

"Three."

"Itachi-san, why is Zetsu-san running after senpai with Hidan-san's weapon?"

"We'll chop you up then eat the remains."

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PAINTING A GODDAMN TREE, YEAH?!"

Itachi sipped his afternoon cup of tea calmly. "I don't know, Tobi, nor am I particularly concerned."