The Big Love

Chapter Twenty-Five: In Which The Baby Arrives

After helping to get Konan to a bed, Hidan's mother left to go roust the guys from their stupor, and descended to the main room, where Hidan, Deidara, Pein and Kisame were having a Dance Dance Revolution tournament. Kakuzu was counting his money, Zetsu was arguing with himself, and Sasori, Tobi, and Itachi were looking through electronics store advertisements. "Listen up, all of you! Hidan, turn that fucking game off right now, young man!"

"Your mom really sounds like a mom," Pein laughed. Hidan shot him a dirty look, but did as his mother ordered.

"You're going to see you kid in a while. Konan-chan is in labor."

"WHAT?" Deidara roared. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!"

"I'm trying to tell you now, you idiot!" Hidan's mother shouted. "If you would listen to me you'd understand! But since you're all a bunch of fucking idiots I'm having to repeat myself! Your baby is being born, and you're going to be fathers."

"I need to be there to help Konan! I'll hold her hand!" Pein howled. But Hidan's mother whacked him upside the head and yelled at him.

"You'll do nothing of the kind. Konan has requested that none of you see her while she is giving birth. Her mother and Nadeshiko are tending to her now."

"Damn it!" Sasori exclaimed. "Is she OK?"

"She'll be fine," Hidan's mother soothed. "Now just try to stay calm and someone will come tell you when the baby is born."

Even so, Tenma's reassurances weren't very reassuring. Everyone was so nervous that they were behaving very strangely. "Deidara, that's your third bag of Doritos," Itachi remarked. Indeed, Deidara was snarfing the flavored corn chips by the fistful. And I do mean fistful- he was not only eating them with his normal mouth, he was stuffing them down his hand-mouths as well.

"I can't help it! I'm stressed!" he replied defensively. "Doritos are the ultimate comfort food-un!"

"Hey, does anyone want me to reconcile their check-book?" Kakuzu called from the table. "I won't charge you anything."

"What brought this on?" Pein asked suspiciously.

"Counting money calms me down," Kakuzu replied. "Now pass me your check-book- this is non-negotiable."

Meanwhile, Hidan and Pein were locked in a vicious battle in a video game, trying to take their minds off the reality of what was happening upstairs. Besides, once the child arrived, they'd have to hide their violent games, so they might as well play them as much as they could now. "DIE DIE DIE!" Hidan screeched as he blasted Pein's character with a laser gun.

"Do you think Konan's all right?" Zetsu's light side asked nervously.

"I'm sure your mom and Hidan's mom are taking good care of her," Sasori replied soothingly.

"I don't think her mother would be much help, though..." Tobi let his voice drop off ominously.

"Shut up. I don't need to think about that bitch right now!" Hidan yowled, throwing his game controller at Tobi.

"No! YOU shut up!" Itachi said suddenly. "Do you hear that?" Everyone immediately stopped talking and strained their ears to hear whatever it was that Itachi had. And sure enough, if one listened closely, they could hear the faint cries of a baby.

"We're parents," Pein said after a long pause. "We're parents. It finally happened."

"Can you believe it?" Itachi muttered. Suddenly, there was sound of footsteps on the stairs, and Hidan's mother reappeared, beaming from ear to ear. She walked to Kakuzu and said-

"Congratulations! You're the father!"

"Me?" Kakuzu asked incredulously. "I'm the actual father?"

"Yep! Your daughter looks exactly like you. Would you like to come and see her?" Of course, everyone did, so they all followed her upstairs to Konan's room where she lounged, exhausted, with her newborn daughter.

"She looks just like you, Kakuzu."

"Yeah..." Kakuzu said in shock. "What's her name?"

"I wanted to ask you..." Kona replied weakly.

"She is a treasure..." Kakuzu muttered. Then, his face lit up. "Takara. We'll write it with the kanji for 'treasure'."

Takara no Akatsuki was born that day. And it was at that moment that her fathers- ALL of them- pledged to take care of her as best they could.

Epilouge: Five Years Later

"Mommy! Mommy!" a little girl's voice rang out. "Daddy Deidara tied my hair like his, see?" Takara ran into the kitchen where her mother was sorting mail, and indeed, the little girl had her bluish-black hair arranged like her blonde guardian's. Konan smiled as she hugged her daughter.

"You look very cute, Takara-chan," she replied.

"Daddy Hidan asked me to ask you if you could make steaks for dinner!" the child said, abruptly switching topics.

"You'd have to go ask Itachi about that," Konan replied. "It's his turn to cook tonight. It's not up to me to decide what's for dinner." Konan was about to say something else when the door slammed open and Kakuzu stepped into the kitchen.

"Papa!" Takara yelled, running forward to hug her father.

"What in the world happened to your hair?" Kakuzu asked, his eyes widening. "What did Deidara DO? You look like Mini-Deidara! Only a girl!" Takara giggled.

"Daddy Deidara styled it for me!"

The past five years had been a time of much change. Everyone had to learn how to act around a child. When Takara was two, there was a terrifying incident in which Deidara had forgotten to move his exploding clay, and of course the toddler had gotten ahold of it. Luckily, Itachi had found her before any damage wsa done. However, the incident encouraged everyone to become more aware of what they were doing. Even Hidan was cleaning his language, probably as a result of Takara's first words being "You motherfucker!" Kakuzu had started saving more money than usual for Takara to use in the future. Takara had changed all of them, for the better.

One thing was certain: life in the Akatsuki was never going to be the same again. And that was a GOOD thing.

END

Author's Comments:

Wow. We're finished. It has been nearly a year since I started drafting this story, althought it was a long time before I published it. I would like to thank everyone who read this all the way through, and left reviews. It means a lot to me that people like my writing enough to keep reading it! :)

I hope that it turned out satisfactory for everyone who read it. I know I liked writing it, and I especially liked writing the pregnancy arc.

Once again, thank you very much.

-Kaboom 4.25.09