Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

"Italics" = Japanese

"Normal" = English

Italics (without quotation marks) = thoughts

I was supposed to be writing a speech for my finals but instead I finished this. I hope you all will be willing to take responsibility for me failing my junior year .

Thanks for the reviews! I will find time to reply to them all of this chapter's reviews, I promise!

Here we go, exactly two weeks later. I'm certainly impressed with myself.

It was a late Saturday afternoon and the streets were full of civilians and shinobi alike. The scents all the various cafes and food booths wafted out the doors and filled the streets with mouthwatering smells. Sakura's stomach rumbled in protest and she had to resist the urge to stop and get some food. She weaved between bundles of gossiping housewives and sweaty men, intent on her destination.

"Hey! Forehead-girl!" Ino shoved between two men and rushed up beside Sakura.

"Ino-pig."

She stuck her tongue out at Sakura and threw a pale arm around her neck. "So it's six-thirty and I'm starving. Where're you taking me to dinner?"

Sakura shrugged her arm off. "Nowhere, I have to go pack. I'm leaving on a mission in forty-five minutes."

"Where to?" she asked, as she strolled along beside her.

"The Outside," Sakura whispered, looking about. "It's top secret and that's all I can tell you."

Ino looked at her incredulously. "Yeah, right, Sakura, we haven't had missions in the Outside since before the Hidden Leaf Village."

She lifted her hands noncommittally. "I'm gonna be gone for a year so tell me you love me now."

"WHAT?" She grabbed Sakura and gave her a tight embrace. "Sakura-chan! You can't go on a year-long mission! Who will go partying with me? Who will help me recover from my hangovers? SAAAKKURRAAA!" She started crying big crocodile tears. "By the way," she whispered, "you won't need your red tank top on your mission so is it okay if I steal it?"

Sakura rolled her eyes and gave Ino a smack on the forehead. "I'm taking it with me, but you can have the blue one."

She grinned and pumped her fist. "I'll come help you pack," she sang, following Sakura down the busy street.

The two chatted gaily about the perks of Outside missions for a few minutes before they turned off into the small alley where Sakura's apartment was. It was right in the middle of Konoha, private yet part of all the action. Fumbling for her keys Sakura unlocked the third door on the right and entered her apartment. It was a simple, without very many decorations. In truth she did not spend much time here. The main room had a couch and a loveseat with a coffee table between them. A small TV sat on a table in the corner. Directly to their right was a small hallway that led to the two bedrooms and small bathroom. Directly across from the front door was the doorway to the small bare kitchen. Along with her medical ninjutsu, her cooking "skills" were legendary throughout Konoha.

Sakura's noisy best friend followed her back to her bedroom. Tuning her out, Sakura opened her closet and began tossing her favorite clothes on the bed.

"Ah! You're taking your green club-night shirt?" Ino complained. "Just what kind of mission is this?"

Sakura laughed wickedly. "Top secret, remember?"

Fifty-Eight Minutes Later

"So I was reading this mission briefing thing-" The room filled with gasps, cutting Naruto off.

"You read the mission briefing?" Sakura asked, eyes wide in disbelief. "Is the world coming to an end?"

"Shaddup!" he growled, rolling his eyes at their sarcasm. "So let me get this straight. You want us to wear these dress things, teach a bunch of wimpy cream puff kids how to fight, plus go to this crazy school and learn how to do magic, guard this school and especially some emo kid named Harry, and participate in a wizard tournament?. Wow. Baa-san we better be getting a huge bonus for this."

The hot-blooded woman roared and began to chuck anything weighing less than thirty pounds within reach at him. Naruto yelped and dodged the projectiles.

"Tsunade-sama, calm down," Sakura begged, grabbing her arm.

The Hokage sat back down in her chair, her face an iridescent shade of red. The spectacled headmaster laughed and clapped his hands. "Charming, simply charming. Now we simply must be on our way." He reached in to his robe and pulled out a rusty fork. "Will you all please touch this, a finger will do, and we shall be off."

Casting one last skeptical look at both their Hokage and their employer, the ANBU team replaced their masks and lightly touched the fork. "It'll only be a moment-" the wizard's words were cut off as something hooked on their belly button and they were sent careening off somewhere else.

The Hokage silently watched the spot where they disappeared. She sighed and leaned back in her chair, pouring herself another cup of sake. "Finally, peace," she whispered as she closed her eyes.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGH!"

"NARUTO! SHUT UP!" The shriek was abruptly cut off by a painful sounding smack. The shinobi had landed in a cold, unfriendly room somewhere. There was a large bed against the wall and a shelf with a basin on the other. They could hear loud voices and talking coming from beneath them. The scent of food and alcohol wafted underneath the door to the room, tickling their nostrils.

"You, know, I didn't get any food before we left…" Naruto mumbled.

The door creaked open and the headmaster walked in. "Oh forgive me, I landed downstairs." He stretched his arms out. "Welcome to the Leaky Cauldron, London England."

Naruto sniggered.

The headmaster laughed at him, a twinkle in his eye. "I couldn't agree more, young Uzumaki." The rest of the team didn't want to imagine the dirty joke that had passed between them. "So now that you're all here in the wizarding world, I'm going to cast a language spell on you so you can speak English."

Neji raised his hand in protest. "Not needed, Dumblydore-san," he said, "We are all fluent in sixteen languages, eighteen in my case."

Dumbledore couldn't help but feel impressed. "Well that makes things much easier! Now we need to get you outfitted in things you'll need for your stay at Hogwarts. I don't suppose you'll need any special materials for your physical education class?" he said, grinning.

"No, we'll be fine," Neji replied.

"Wait wait wait a second! Physical education?" Naruto protested. "Like jumping jacks and somersaults?"

"Well I was thinking more along the lines of self defense and karate… but whatever your teaching method is.

"I'm fifteen! I don't have a teaching method!"

"Ah I see then… I'm not sure what to do then?"

"Please ignore the Fox, Dumblydore-san," Neji said exasperatedly.

"He's just a talentless, dickless moron," Sai said brightly.

"I'm gonna kill you!"

This mission is way too complicated, Sakura thought to herself.

The small, squat woman eyed the four suspiciously. "So you're not from around here?" she said in an overly loud voice.

"We can speak English, Madam… Malkin was it?" Neji said fluently. "I'm afraid we don't have much time before Dumblydore-san returns, so if we could hurry things up a bit…" He smiled charmingly. Madam Malkin never had a chance.

"Oh," she giggled, blushing a deep shade of red. "What c-can I do for you?"

"Dress robes," he said pleasantly. "And a dress of some sorts for that one," he said, pointing to Sakura.

The four watched the pudgy woman rush around her shop in amusement. "Oh you'll need some of these, and this would make a spectacular bowtie for you, hm…"

She eyed Neji thoughtfully. "You have such marvelous eyes. I really must find something to bring out that violet tint." She scurried to the back of the shop. They could faintly hear her digging around in boxes or something.

"Violet tint?" Naruto laughed. "Simply marvelous!" he mocked. He stopped when he found a sewing needle imbedded between his eyes.

"Fool," Neji muttered.

Madam Malkins returned, her face still a blotchy shade of pink. "I found just the thing!" she sang, holding up a purple hair tie. "You have such fabulous brown hair! This will look splendid with it and bring out the violet in your eyes."

"Um… lady, we gotta get moving, can we just finish up here?" Naruto complained.

She sniffed. "Well if that's the case," she said, offended. She tapped her wand against the nearby counter. Instantaneously four measuring tapes lifted up and zipped at them. The four shinobi eyed the whizzing contraptions warily. They flitted about their bodies, quickly taking their measurements. Still glaring at Naruto, she snapped her fingers. It was all a blur. Scissors, thread, and fabric was flying everywhere. Five minutes later, three wrapped boxes containing dress robes were piled on the counter.

"Fast enough for you?" she said crisply, tapping her foot.

The shinobi could only nod their heads.

"Now you, young lady," she said turning to Sakura. "What is your name, pumpkin?"

Only the ninjas noticed the faint eye twitch. "Haruno Sakura," she said stiffly.

"Sakura? Well what a lovely name! It matches the pink hair," she chuckled. "I was a bit wild in my younger days and I had green tips for a week once. What dye to you use? You simply must be careful with unnatural hair though. Boys always get the wrong idea."

That was the last straw. Sakura's fist came down on the counter, successfully breaking it in half. "It's natural you old hag, now get a move on!" she shouted, not realizing it was in Japanese.

… You could have heard a pin drop.

Madam Malkins didn't say anything. What was she supposed to say? Some crazy pink-haired girl had just started screaming gibberish in her store and broke her hardwood counter barehanded. In shocked silence she quietly moved around the shop gathering the needed materials.

"Green is such a nice color," she murmured to herself.

Everybody face palmed.

Fifteen Minutes Later

"Ugh that lady was so annoying," Naruto complained.

"I feel bad," Sakura said, blushing slightly. "I shouldn't have freaked out like that."

"Obviously. You compromised the mission. Wizards aren't supposed to know the existence of Shinobi and you nearly revealed it to the whole world. Frankly, Sakura, I'm disappointed in your lack of respect for your work," Neji said icily. His hand was on his head in some slight attempt to stave off an impending headache. "And Naruto! Why must you always be so rude?"

"Sorry, Mom," he grumbled under his breath.

"Ah there you are," somebody called from behind them. The four glanced back to see their employer running down the street after them. "I have been searching all over the place for you. Weren't we to meet at Malkins? I went in their and found Madam sobbing and her counter broken. You wouldn't happen to have anything to do with that?"

"None at all, Dumblydore-sama," Sai said breezily. "

"Really." He eyed them all suspiciously. "Well now it's time to go to Ollivanders."

The ninja eyed the gloomy store apprehensively.

"Ollivander's: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C.," Sakura read the peeling gold letters.

"Such ridiculous people," Sai commented.

Dumbledore huffed at the rude observation.

"Why are we here, Employer-san?" Naruto asked.

"You all must have wands. You can't participate in the tournament unless you are wizards."

"Remind me why we are participating again?"

The old wizard smiled slyly at them. Neji couldn't help but feel there was more to this old man than dumb jokes and a dress. "That, my dears, you will discover later."

"I feel I must protest, Dumblydore-san, we cannot complete the mission unless we know all the details," Neji said sternly.

"On the contrary, ah, what was it? Neji, I do believe you will find it easier to remain ignorant."

This annoyed the stoic Hyuuga prodigy. He was very intelligent and prided himself on being prepared for anything. The fact that he didn't know what he was preparing for worried him.

Said prodigy felt extremely uneasy as the tarnished bell above the door rang as they walked in.

"Coming, coming!" someone called from the back.

A few moments later a man with white hair stumbled out from behind a shelf. His drab clothes were rumpled and stained and his shaggy white hair was dusty and unkempt. He lifted a wrinkled old hand in greeting.

"Welcome, Professor Dumbledore. What can I do for you today?" he said, completely ignoring the ninja.

"Hullo, Ollivander, we need wands."

He looked at the shinobi. "Oh my my my, what extraordinary people you have brought me. They're not wizards are they? Ninja, perhaps?"

Instantly the four had kunais at his neck. "That is confidential information and you know too much," Sakura said quietly.

"Settle down children, it's alright. I'm sure Mr. Ollivander will tell no one. He's an excellent secret keeper."

Hesitantly they backed away, not sheathing their knifes.

Slightly unsettled, Ollivander rubbed his neck thoughtfully. "Hm… you're definitely a dragon heartstring." In a dusty cloud he disappeared in the maze of shelves full of boxes.

"He's a cook," Sai said offhandedly.

"Well I like him," Naruto retorted.

"You'll get along great then."

"Teme!"

"Baka!"

"Silence!" Neji demanded. "Enough of your childish antics!"

The man came running back in. "Oak with dragon heartstring and unicorn hair," he sang as he opened the box in his hands. He handed Sakura the long stick gently. "Go on, give it a flick."

Shrugging, Sakura waved the wand. The chair Naruto had been sitting on exploded, sending him shrieking into the air. "I like," she said, grinning.

"I'm afraid not," the wand-maker protested, yanking it forcefully out of her hand. "Hm…" he leaned over and pulled a wand of the shelf. "Try this one. Hawthorn with a dragon heartstring and mermaid scale core."

She waved it. Vines began growing out of Sai's ears. "Ahhh! Ew! Get them out!" he screamed yanking them out.

Sakura laughed uncontrollably as Ollivander shoved the wand hurriedly back in its box. He eyed her thoughtfully. "Maybe…" He ran back to the recesses of his shop. "I don't generally make wands out of Veela hair, they're so temperamental, but I do have one that and old friend made and gave to me. Perhaps…" he rushed back in. "Cherry wood with dragon heartstring and Veela hair," he said handing her the wand.

Excitedly she waved it in the air. Instantly soft, sweet smelling cherry blossoms rained down from the ceiling.

"Most curious. It's perfect for you!" the wand-maker applauded. "Your lovely hair and curious name most definitely influenced it, Miss Sakura."

The ninja couldn't help but gaze in awe at the flowers floating down from the ceiling.

"Maybe Ugly is talented."

She punched him in the nose, ending the serene moment.

"Now you, Mr. Neji, let's see. Perhaps something more subtle." He pulled a box off the shelf. "Birch with leprechaun beard." Ignoring Naruto's snickering, the tall boy flicked the wand handed to him. Water spurted from the wand, soaking everyone present. "Perhaps not," the wand maker croaked, putting the wand away. "I know! He bent beneath the tall counter and shuffled through some boxes. "Here we go! This has got to be the one. Holly with centaur tail." Neji sighed and took the wand from the outstretched hand. Not expecting anything, he waved the wand. Sparks flew from the wand and flew around the room, conveniently singing Naruto's eyebrows.

"I guess not," the old man sighed.

"Wait," Neji demanded, not relinquishing his hold on the wand. "Look!" The sparks were dancing together in an odd symbol. The four shinobi simultaneously gasped.

"It's the caged bird seal," Naruto murmured as Neji rubbed his forehead.

"This one is perfect," the brunette said. "I'll take it."

The wand-maker eyed him suspiciously. "I don't quite understand but I'll take your word for it." He circled Sai. "You're a difficult one. You may be smiling but you're a total block. Hm…" He grabbed a box off the counter. Hawthorne with unicorn tail. Haughty and strong."

Sai, smiling blankly as always, flicked the wand. A black substance poured out the end and circled his body. Grinning madly, Sai snapped his fingers. The black goop flew at Naruto, painting a black mustache swirlies on his face.

"Get off!" he yelled, wiping the ink off his face.

"I suppose that one is the right one too?" the old man said, his lips twitching. "Now you. You appear to be blonde and stupid." Naruto shouted loudly in protest. "I'm just messing with you. I can see that you possess a rare type of intelligence and skill, found in very few people. You have great things in store for you."

Naruto grinned and scratched the back of his head. "I could have told you that, old man!"

Ollivander smiled mysteriously and handed the kyuubi container a box. Excitedly, Naruto ripped the lid off and pulled the wand out. It was oddly crooked and the handle was red. Smiling he flicked it. Red energy shot out of the tip, and flowed about their feet, tickling their toes. "Awesome!" Naruto said, punching the air. "What's it made out of?"

The man smiled. "I think you'll figure it out, Uzumaki Naruto."

This time when Dumbledore held out the rusty fork with a twinkle in his eye, the shinobi were prepared. Even after they were rudely dropped on a carpeted floor, Naruto managed to keep his mouth shut.

"I could get used to this!" Naruto sang, jumping to his feet. He gasped and looked around. They were in a round room with lush red carpet. Shelves lined the entire room, each full of old books or glittering gold instruments. "Wow…" he said, his mouth wide open. At one end of the room was a large, wood door, carved with intricate animals and vines, and on the other was a gigantic matching desk. Leaning back on a chair, smiling knowledgeably, was their employer. Perched on the back of the chair was a brilliant red phoenix.

"Welcome, children," he said gaily. "To Hogwarts."

As the small group left the shop, Neji whispered to his teammates. "I don't remember telling him our names."Review, dahlings, so I can reply to them all :) I'll have nothing else to since I wrote this instead of homework and will fail highschool.