Darkrai sat in the shallow pool of clear water on Newmoon Island. He wondered why every being that knew about him recoiled whenever he floated by. He knew he was a scary figure, but he couldn't help that. He knew he gave nightmares to every living thing nearby, but he couldn't help that. He couldn't help thinking that he was the most miserable being on earth. He had contemplated suicide before, but he knew it wouldn't be worth it. Hell, he gave nightmares to Giratina, for crying out the window. Why him? Why?
He tried thinking of another being that was more depressed than he was. Articuno? Doubt it. Zapdos? I don't think so. Moltres? Probably not. Mewtwo? Possibly. Mew? HECK no.
Raikou? Maybe. Entei? Nope. Suicune? Seriously challenged. Lugia? I don't think so. Ho-Oh? Uh, the entire eternal happiness thing kinda killed that idea. Celebi? Seriously?
Regirock? Regice? Registeel? They're frickin' MINERALS. Latias? Actually, maybe, seeing as Latios died a few years ago. Latios? Mental note to ask Giratina when I die… Kyogre? I don't think so, either. Groudon? I would ask him, but all that earth and magma is a fairly big obstacle… Rayquaza? Pretty feasible, seeing as he's more of a loner than I am… Jirachi? See Mew or Celebi. Deoxys? It's kinda up there with Mewtwo and Rayquaza.
Porygon-Z? Do glitches even have feelings? Dusknoir? Another mental note for Giratina… Gallade? Probopass? No. No. Rotom? Yeah, maybe… Uxie? Mesprit? Azelf? I'd ask, but they'd probably make me forget… Dialga? Time and time again… Palkia? He needs his space. Heatran? Regigigas? Aren't they related to Groudon? Giratina? She lives for this stuff… if she even lives… Cresselia? Phione? Manaphy? Shaymin? See Mew/Celebi/Jirachi. Arceus? It's gotta get lonely up there…
Out of all these Pokémon, Darkrai wasn't sure of anything. It made him feel even more confused.
An oily shock wave disturbed Darkrai's thoughts, the kind of oily shock wave that could only come from a glitch. Was it Rotom? Porygon-Z? A bad egg?
"MiEiEiEiEiEiEiEiEsIsIsIsIsIsIsInGnGnGnGnGnGnGnGNoOoOoOoOoOo."
Wow, MissingNo. You sound better than ever.
Darkrai sighed. "Hello, Miss…Ing…No…"
"HeLl…" Static. "Oh, DaRk-" Static. "-RaI. HeLlO." Static.
"You have more static than a radio in a tunnel in Snowpoint, MissingNo…"
"GlItChEs-" Static. "Do Th-" Static. "At, Y'kNoW." MissingNo. sighed, fading in and out of view, like a bad TV display. "SoRrY."
"Fine," Darkrai muttered. He suddenly thought of something. "Do you ever feel depressed?"
"LeT-" Static. "Me ShOw-" Static. "YoU sOmE-" Static. "ThInG."
Darkrai felt his limbs crumble away into tiny pixels. His mind broke into a sextillion pieces, and suddenly he was in a wrinkle in time, taking him to another dimension; the sixth dimension, the dimension of the glitch.
As he instantly reassembled himself, he noticed that he couldn't see where he was. "Where are we?"
The answer was clear, no static, unbroken. "Glitch City."
The blackness folded away like a cloth, and revealed a two-dimensional world full of holographic chunks of trees, Pokémon Centers, human heads, and the ground had the distinct color of regurgitated lasagna.
"Where the Arceus-damn hell are we?" repeated Darkrai in more colorful terms.
"Home," said the backwards-L-shaped block simply. "This is my home. You have Newmoon Island, with occasional vacations to Alamos Town, Cresselia has Fullmoon Island, Arceus has the Hall of Origin, Giratina has the Torn World, Dialga and Palkia have their own dimensions, Rotom has the Old Chateau in Eterna Forest, and everybody else has everywhere else. Well, this is what I have."
Darkrai shook his head. "You can't live here."
"Oh, can't I?" said MissingNo. "I've been living here ever since the first player of Pokémon messed up their game."
"It must get lonely in this place," said Darkrai, peering at a lopsided pixellated human head.
"A bit," said MissingNo. sadly. "Nobody ever really comes to visit, except maybe the occasional Porygon-Z."
"So you're more lonely than I am," said Darkrai.
"Statistically, very much so," said MissingNo.
Suddenly, some of the human heads and Pokémon Center roofs began disappearing.
Darkrai took a step backward. "What's going on?"
"They're fixing the glitches," replied MissingNo. "They're fixing the game, so I don't bother players anymore."
"But won't that kill you?"
MissingNo. answered with silence.
"They'd kill you?"
"They already…" Static. "…are."
The glitches were all fading. Blackness surrounded them, and began closing in.
"But, why won't you stop them?"
"Why should…" Static. "…I? Nobody would miss me. They'd probably…" Static. "…make cupcakes."
"I hate cupcakes," said Darkrai.
"Not as comforting as you might think."
"Sorry." Darkrai watched the darkness come within a fifty-meter radius of them. "But I don't want you to die."
"Really? Why not?"
"Because… even if I die, I would still be in the Torn World. But you… would be gone forever."
"So? Why would such a dark Pokémon as yourself give any thought to something like me?"
Twenty-five meters. "Because… I feel the same way."
Twenty meters. "One being out of many does not even the odds."
"I don't want you to be fixed." Jeezum, that came out wrong.
Fifteen meters. "How touching."
"Sorry."
A decameter. "What'll happen to you?"
Seven meters. "I'll become a memory. Nothing more."
Five meters. "We have to stop this."
Four meters. "How?"
Three meters. Darkrai shot up into the blackness. "I'll stop them!"
Two meters. MissingNo. dropped to the ground in utter defeat. This was the end.
One meter.
Five decimeters.
One decimeter.
Darkrai was almost there…
A centimeter.
A millimeter.
A micrometer.
And…
…
…
…