What Could Have Been

Sam watched suburbia turn to cornfields as the bus sped over the gravel roads. The sun reflected off the pain of glass, casting a glow over the cabin. Sam thought of Jessica. How the sun reminded him of her golden hair. The sky reminded him of her clear blue eyes. Sam sighed. Everything reminded him of Jess. He was just able to do a better job of blocking it out but long time stretches like this, with nothing else to focus on, made his mind wander back to California and what could have been.

His thoughts were torn from him as he felt something heavy against his shoulder. Turning from the window, he was met by the top of Dean's head. Leaning forward, his suspicion was confirmed. Dean was asleep.

Sam wasn't surprised. Dean had been fighting sleep since they had gotten onto the highway. After all, Dean had been released from the hospital only that morning after being on a ventilator all night after he practically drowned in the Mississippi River after a fisherman's spirit had attacked him.

Dean had insisted that he wanted to get out of Missouri. Sam couldn't blame him. He still saw Dean's body floating motionless beneath the surface whenever he closed his eyes. The ventilator had breathed for Dean, letting him rest but obviously Dean was far from better.

Dark circles lined his eyes and his skin remained pasty and pale, freckles standing out more then ever. Sam could hear Dean's breathing. It was slow but slightly congested. The doctors had said Dean was lucky that he hadn't developed pneumonia from the water in his lungs, making Sam feel better about leaving the hospital without medical consent.

Dean's head rolled off of Sam's shoulder as the bus halted at an intersection. Dean would have toppled into the seat in front of him if Sam hadn't have put his hand on Dean's chest, securing him and then tightening Dean's seatbelt.

Bobby had picked up the Impala and was waiting for them over in Minnesota at Pastor Jim's farm. It was only a few states away, but Dean was in no way healthy enough to drive and Sam hadn't wanted to fight about it. So when Sam was held up in the hospital with Dean, he had called Bobby. Luckily, Bobby was driving through and agreed to tow the Impala saving Sam from an argument with his older brother.

The bus once again, roared to a start, lurching forward causing Dean to fall back. He remained upright for several seconds before his head bobbed and his chin dropped to his chest and stayed. Dean was beyond exhausted.

Sam settled into the seat, wanting to drop off to sleep himself but unable. He closed his eyes, listening to the sounds around him. A woman talking quietly on her cell phone...a baby whimpering in the seat behind him...Dean softly snoring...

When Sam woke, the bus had stopped. Dean was slumped onto Sam's shoulder again, snoring loudly. An elderly lady in the seat in front of Sam's turned and smiled at Dean.

"Poor thing. He must be really tired." She said sympathetically. Sam nodded.

People were starting to load off of the bus. They were in Minnesota. Dean remained heavy against Sam despite the noise of excited chatter and conversation around them.

"Dean." Sam said, shaking his brother gently. Dean didn't move.

"Dean!" Sam tried again. Dean was out. Sam sighed, scooting forward off the seat so Dean's head fell off his shoulder. Dean blearily raised his head and opened weary eyes.

"Wha's the matter?" He slurred.

"We're here Dean." Sam reached for his backpack underneath his feet.

Dean groaned and stretched the best that a man over six feet could do in the cramped seat. He rubbed his eyes, appearing a little bit more awake.

Sam couldn't help himself. "Always knew you liked to cuddle."

"What?" Dean was now officially awake. "What are you talking about?"His eyes narrowed. "Sam. Were you using me as a pillow?"

"Dude. Your the one who fell asleep on ME." Sam pointed to the wet spot on his shoulder. Right where Dean's mouth had been...

"I didn't fall asleep on you." Dean scoffed, even though he knew that he had.

"Yeah whatever." Sam rolled his eyes. He paused for a second before grinned."It was kind of cute."

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