What's this?! Hakkyou's updated?! Rubbish! But you'd be wrong to think that! I'm back, and it appears that I am indeed in black! (Although I'm wearing white… and brown.). Yes, people who take the time to read this (Especially those who stuck through the beginning, which sucked in my opinion.), I'm updating! Finally… The reason it took so long is that I got bored while writing it each time I tried. So, just for you incongruous and anonymous folks, I'll update! And no, I don't know what incongruous means! ONWARDS!!!
To ...No one, since I'm in an action sequence: (Shadow jumps through a window. Instead of his Soul Reaper attire, he's in a S.T.A.R.S Alpha team outfit. Instead of swords and ninja tools, he has various guns.) New mode. If you didn't guess today's topic...(He pulls out a survival knife a juggles it from left hand to right hand.) ...It's Resident Evil.
No One (Because he's in an action sequence!): Dude! You shot me!
Bill: Shit! He shot No One! Quick, let's get him to A&E, Mayu!
Mayu: On it!
The two rush No One out of the room in full police officer/pathologist regalia.
To Hakkyou: Be careful...They may attack at any minute...(Takes out a tazer and zaps the zombie to Hakkyou's left. It's skin flashes as it falls down, dead.)
Hakkyou: Err, thanks… How did the zombies- ack! AHH!! ONE POKED ME!!!
To Krystal: What will happen to those around you...or yourself...? (Takes out his Berretta and fires about six shots into a zombie, killing it)
Krystal: I Don't know bout you, but Imma GET ALL UP IN THIS ZOMBIE GRILLS!!
To Fox and Wolf: Your relationship is at risk...(Turns around a fires a shotgun right at its head, decapitating it.)
Fox: Wait… Wolf, is he saying you're cheating on me?!
Wolf: W-what?! No! He's talking devil talk…
To those I forgot: They'll come after you...Ah shit...(Takes out rocket launcher and fires it into the Tyrant, killing it.) ...Okay, that one was really weak. Anyway...(Play Moonlight Sonata on Pianist's Soul's piano. A passageway opens up to reveal the Death Mask with no mouth, eyes, or nose. He takes it.) A'ight then. Yes, that is a part of Resident Evil, I wasn't trying to be a piano noob. You really have to play that to open a passageway to get the first Death Mask. Later! (Runs to a scary looking mansion, chased by zombie dogs.) Yes, I know the order of events in this is out of whack to the actual game! This is Shadow, signing off! (Runs into the mansion.)
Leon opens the door, shutting it while mumbling something about too many teenagers jumping through perfectly good windows these days.
Leon : Well… Looks like somebody's been playing too much Resident Evil.
Panther: You're all covered in blood… why is that? (Panther frowns at Leon and looks at Wolf for assistance)
Leon : Cannibal planet? ( Leon raises a non-existent eyebrow)
Wolf: That's sick.
Leon : I know, right?
Wolf: I MEANT THAT'S GROSS!!
Hakkyou: Well…. There he goes.
Slippy: Yep. Off into that obviously not zombie infested mansion.
And just as Slippy had said, Shadow entered the NOT ZOMBIE INFESTED mansion and went to have a cup of tea- sorry, I forgot he's American- coffee with Mr. Slumps. But, it turned out there were zombies in the mansion! So he dropped a bomb and came back to the Q&A place. Which sucked because it was kinda close to the Zombeh Mansion .
Hakkyou: Well, pardoning the zombies, we have Joe and his early developing lady friends! Except minus the lady friends who wear training bras.
Joe: Bastard.
Hakkyou (shrugging with righteous fury): You can always humiliate other people, right?
Joe: I'll drink to that!
Joe: To Everyone: I forgot to review!um... just a sec! (runs around looking for his questions, which he then realizes were in his hands)oh heh heh...
Falco: Ha! You so stupid, you couldn't even recognize your shadow on a cloudy day!
Katt: Err, Falco, that doesn't make sense…
Falco:…
Joe: Idiot…
Joe: To Hakkyou: (Clears his throat) pickles pizza burgers, oh wait, wrong side, this is the grocery list side (damn those women and their groceries...)
Hakkyou: … Who eats Pizza Burgers? Blegh!
Joe: Fuck you. To Krystal: hey sexy (he winks at her)
Krystal: Heeyyy underage MAN guy. I bet you were born with so much testosterone that they had to remove a lot when you was a baby, hmmm?
Joe: To Katt: getting married? to that... (points at Falco) that make up wearing parrot pigeon thing?
Shadow: SNIP SNAP!!
Hakkyou: Snip snap indeed!!
Joe: To The Pianist Soul: I never said anything homophobic to you, so whats your problem?
Pianist: Get away you red neck bleeding heart communist homo hater!! I SAID GET YO ASS AWAY!!
Joe: To Hakkyou: don't trip over that- (Suddenly, Hakkyou trips while standing sitting down and falls towards a basket that seem to be filled with womens "used" under garments, when a portal rips open and Hakkyou jumps out, tackling himself away from the basket, pulling the pin on a grenade as he lands and throwing it into the basket, then runs off into the distance.)
All: o_o
Joe: Dammit!
Hakkyou:… What the fuck?!
Joe: To Everyone: (passes out invatations to everyone) my friend told me to give them to you all, they're all enclosed, I haven't read them yet... let me open mine... (opens it) oh its an invite to a party at the lake... more beer, and even Mike's Hard Lemonade...
All: Paaartay!
Wolf: Wait a minute, this doesn't say night club!
All: LAME.
Joe: Shut up!!
Joe: To Harold: CALL ME ONE MORE TIME AND I'LL FIND YOU AND CHOP YOU'RE HEAD OFF!
Harold: I'M HAROLD!
Shadow: Oh, look, it's Harold, the local retarded whino!
Harold the Retarded Whino: WHERE'S BABAR?
Shadow: God bless his retarded mind.
Joe: To Jake: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL HERE? I BANISH YOU!
Jake: You could banish me to the four-
Joe: THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!!
Jake: (looks at Hakkyou) How about this tasty little-
Hakkyou: Piss off! (Kicks him in the ankle then sets a rabid… Porky on him. Porky… what did Porky do?! Anyways, Jake was burnt to a crisp. We don't like his kind round here.)
Joe: To Hakkyou: I just thought of a challenge: for one! one episode! or even a review for a Q&A I challenge you to act completely straight, just once, no gayness, and you have to hit on at least one girl. can you take that challenge? or is it too difficult for your tiny mind to comprehend?
Hakkyou: Yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to go ahead and say no.
Joe: To Myself: why the hell am I asking myself a question? well its not gonna be me answering, but the personality Hakkyou has augmented on my Q&A self, anyways, you respect women don't you? you don't just mess with them then be a total asshole do you? cuz I don't do that, I respect them...
Joe: Fuck yeah! You're a pussy.
Hakkyou: Dude! You totally just owned yourself!
Joe: To Katt: are you sure thats milk on you?
Katt: Someone knows how to act mature…
Joe: To Krystal: what are you doing tonight? (seductive growl and a wink)
Krystal: I gotta go to church and hang wit' mah home girls. I'm playin' Lady Magdalene at the church, whoever that ho is.
Hakkyou: (Smirk) Have fun, Magdalene. Some Christian fanatic will get this joke.
Joe: To Miyu: (examines her entire body) are you wearing tighter clothes than last time?
Miyu: Shut up you wannabe womanizer! We've almost got No One stabled! Doctor Gray, what should we do?!
Bill: There's nothing we can do, Nurse Gray…
Joe:To Fay: I still don't find you very attractive...
Fay: I still find you to be a little toerag!
Joe: To Everyone: look! its a bird! its a plane! no... its just Erik on his Unicorn...
And, as Joe did say, Erik did fly through the sky, and he was upon a unicorn. And all was good.
Joe: To Everyone: O.O fangirls always try to get me in bed you know... I just refuse because its more like a one night stand thing... and I'm not like that, I think its stupid to fuck and forget, its just not right, thats why I'd just rather not fuck fan girls... my girlfriend, yes, my FWB (Friends With Benefits) yes, fangirls, no... (in reality, there are girls who want one night stands, its rediculous... and yes I do have a girl friend and FWB's who are all girls, just so Hakkyou doesn't get the idea to say any thing homosexual about the non gender specified nature of the word "Friends")
Hakkyou: Stop it with the exposition.
Joe: To all the straight single guys: you guys really need to go get a girlfriend...
All the Straight Single Guys: You can say that? You're a teenager; you have a relationship with a girl for a month or two, then you fall apart.
Joe: not me and ________
Joe: To all homosexual single guys (AKA: Hakkyou): you need to turn straight, then find a girlfriend... ROFL
Hakkyou: You need to shut yo mouth! (Raises a hand to backhand him while Joe cowers)
Joe: It's cool man, it's cool! To Fox: you need to turn straight and find a girl
Fox: Says the kid who just found out what sex is.
Joe: To Wolf: you need to turn straight and go back to being lonely...
Wolf: Kid, I will FUCK YOU UP if you don't shut that giant mouth of yours.
Joe: (Looks at the people he insulted apprehensively)
Joe: To Everyone: MICHAEL JACKSON IS DEAD! WOO HOO! THAT CHILD MOLESTING PETOFILE IS GONE! GONE! WO HO! CHILDREN OF THE WORLD ARE NOW SAFE ONCE AGAIN! well... not really... there are still others like him out there... dammit... I wish they would all just dissapear into oblivions gate... (oblivions gate is something from a poem I made up)
Hakkyou: You kidding?! MJ was the bomb!! When he was black, but still- fuck you!
Joe: To Hakkyou: I no longer depict myself as an Anthro... you'll see what I mean when I get the next chapter of my Q&A up...
Hakkyou: Yes! The system WORKS!
Joe: To everyone: out of questions, see ya! wait, unless the ladies want me to stay that is...(looks at the angry people glaring at him) Ooon second thought, I'll talk to you later. (Runs through the door)
Hakkyou: Wow, this is the farthest I've gotten while updating this chapter…
Shadow: (Hits him with a fan) Shut up!
Hakkyou: Dammit!
???: Cough cough.
Hakkyou: So what?! You don't have to hit me for breaking the fourth wall!
???: AHEM.
Hakkyou looks round and smiles slyly when he sees the coughing menace.
Hakkyou: Heeeeyyyy, buddy. What up?
Erik: Well, I-
Hakkyou: Just ask the questions, Erik.
Erik (Fuming): It's Starlightdragon!
Hakkyou rolls his eyes.
Erik: to hakkyou: enough of the unicorn already i know its a running gag but please stop.
Hakkyou: (Stares at him with wide, not so innocent eyes) What unicorn? Surely you must be imagining it… Do you think you need hospital? You look a bit red…
Starlightmehmehmhe: No. (Glaring angrily)
Erik: to falco: no i will not perform suicide as that will bring about the End of Everything.
Falco: Yo, you think you the sun or somethin'? Get real!
Erik: You don't even exist!
Falco: Aight, Imma mess you up now…
Starlightdragon: (Raises his hands in submission)
Erik: to leon : your the one being eaten here.
Leon : No… I'm still whole…
Erik: but… but I somehow magically sent you to the parody of Dinosaur planet, Cannibal Planet!!
Leon : Yeah. That's why I'm so full.
Fox: And he's on your team?! (Looks at Wolf in disbelief)
Wolf: I didn't know…
Leon : Sheesh! Can't a guy make a joke round here? It's tomato juice!
Erik: (Ahem) to panther: okay that's it DIE!(blasts him with one-million bullets and missiles. Unfortunately, all of the projectiles missed and blew up a large section of the still cheering crowd. In fact, they're going crazy now! WHOOOOOOO!!)
Erik: good bye may the stars shine on us all and peace forever reign*dissaperes in an explosen of stars*
Hakkyou: Umm. Not only would an EXPLOSION OF STARS kill all of us, possibly destroying our solar system (Maybe even reaching further), but that's just physically impossible. You know, someone making a bunch of stars explode.
Shadow: Shut up, Nerd.
Hakkyou: That shit hurt, yo!
Just then another person decided to hit Hakkyou. Of course, he was not very pleased. In fact, he flipped shit, and there was a small scuffle, but it was all over fast. Who did he partake in fisticuffs with? Ninja, of course, Weren't you there?!
Hakkyou: Right… (Brushes some dust off of himself) Right back to it.
Ninja: To Hakkyou: why did you say "Oh Whatever"
Hakkyou: Just quoting your must clever response.
Shadow: Damn!
To Krystal: Put down the rope no stay away no stop touching me STOP!
Katt: Thanks for helping me anchor the boat, Krystal! Damn thing's heavy for a pregnant woman..
Krystal: No trouble, sister! Don't know what kinda day dreams that kid's having, though…
To Hakkyou: YOU WHORE I SAID YOU COULDN'T TURN THEM BACK YOU MONDO BITCH! YOU DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE PUTS DOWN DO YOU
Hakkyou: My, my, we're letting our temper get the better of us, now…
Ninja: STFU.
Hakkyou: (Evil grin) tsk tsk tsk…
To katt: so you and Falco are getting married I feel so sorry for you
Katt: It's called 'love', you conceited little twerp!
To Hakkyou: I thought you hated love any kind of it.
Hakkyou: That was when I was a confused little kid. I realize this was only a few months ago, but I had "Angsty, douchebag teenager syndrome". I got over it.
Ninja: Well, I need to go and say 'Whatever' to pigeons in the park when they coo at me. Later, Gaytard.
Hakkyou: That's right you run!
Shadow: You're so promiscuous…
All: o_o
Shadow: And gay-
Hakkyou: You know-
Suddenly, a bulldozer tore through the wall, rap music blasting on it's stereo system. The audience starting going CRAZY! Look! One's foaming at the mouth! Out of the bulldoz-tron come Dark, rocking/rapping his way over to the place where everyone else (Who's cool) was.
Dark: WHAT UP, MOTHAS?!
Hakkyou: I-
Shadow: WORD!!
Dark: So, Red, you good?
Red: I'm totally good Green. Blue here is a little bit uptight (Rolls his eyes) as usual.
Hakkoyu: What?! Are we reading off of the crayon box?!
Falco: Yo, man!
Green: Yellow, how you doin'?
Hakkyou: Are you crayon warriors or something?!
Green: Pink, you gotta lighten up!
Hakkyou: P-Pink?! Oh, no way you're gonna make me one of your-
Purple: Heeeeeyyy, Green! Why is Pink wigging out? Personally, I think he should be Gold, and I should be Pink…
Hakkyou: Now they're fighting over colors?!
Red: Le's start it up!
Green: Bout damn time!
Pink: (Hangs his head and sighs)
Green: to Pink: dude going to sleep is evil -_-
Pink: My name's Hakkyou! And sleep is amazing, shut up you interior alligator!
(Side note: I'll give all of the color's later, so it'll be more understandable)
Green: to everybody: before u ask its because i punched my brother i was sleeping and he moved me because i was on the remote and well...he has a black eye now im dangerous when a sleep
All:… Why?
Green: to Orange : placid...
Orange: Don't even.
Green: to falco: OH NO U DIDN'T!! YO MAMMAS SO FAT THAT OBI-ONE SAID "thats no moon thats yo mamma!"
Yellow: Ohh, it is ON, little man! Yo momma's so fat, she has her own gravitational pull!
Green: to Purple: AND YO B*CH NEED SOME FAT REDUCTION
Purple: I THINK YOU NEEDIN' SOME BLOOD REDUCTION!
Green: to Lavender: a baby?...but will it be a cat/burd or burd/cat?
Lavender: I don't even know how the fuck I got pregnant…
Green: What? Yo man impotent?
Lavender&Yellow: WATCHU SAY!?
Green: to Silver: DAMN UR BAD AS*...and not bad because Orange was there OH NO I DIDN'T!
Silver: WHAT?!-
Orange : Err…
Green: Owned!
Silver: HE'S MY BITCH!!
All: o_o
Green: to everybody: i just like saying OH NO I DIDN'T!
Red: Who don't like sayin' that?
All: Too true!
to hakkyou: were are we going in life? and why do we go? is it because we have a reson? and if so what is that reson? is it family? or $ or better yet so we can feel hole in side? because with out stuff they say we r worthless but in most times the people with out less r more happy and the "people" u could call them r not its because the things u own u don't really own its because they own u...BAMBOO UR UP PINK!
Pink: STOP CALLING ME THAT!! Materialism, blah blah blah. With or without, it doesn't matter. You can't even prove that humans, or those possessions, exist. You can't even justify the theory of your own existence.
Green: toRed: favorite show?
Red: Definitely ____________ (Fuck if I know what Shadow watches.)
Green: to Crimson: i...seen...a...vid...that... ur in...and its not cute...
Crimson: Crimson asks for more specification.
to bill: mad mad mad mad mad mad and mad and mad
Gray: Lime! We've got a pulse!!
Lime: Doctor Gray, give it your best!
to everyone: well im going bye and remember its a mad mad mad mad world!
All (Rainbow?): Have fun with that…
Red: so, Pink, are we done?
Pink: (Rubbing his head) Yeah… just about..
Silver: I can't believe anyone would even think that…
Orange: Just chill, alright?
Everyone else settled down, Lavender and Purple gushing over her baby, Yellow, Orange and Silver clapping and shouting to Gray and Lime having saved No One. The rest joined in, Crimson taking off his shirt.
All:…
Pink: It's only funny when Bill*Smack*… Gray says it…
Just then, someone opened the door exuberantly!
Mightygreatfox117: very funny!ROFLOL
In walked a person of indiscernible age, gender and… well, anything else, really. All the colors of the rainbow stared at him as he laughed aloud to herself, eventually calming down enough to continue speaking, tears in his eyes.
MGF:...ANYWAY,i LIKED THE STORY AND HOPE YOU CAN UPDATE SOON!by the way,Im a new user and dont really know how to do anything. BYE LOLS!!
Metal gear Freak ran out of the door, giggling and fantasizing about the next cat he was going to set on fire.
Pink:… Just who the fuck was that, anyhow?
Red: Kinda weird…
Silver: Even if he's new, that doesn't give him the right to act like a school gril with a crush.
Yellow: Like you can say anything.
Silver: SAY IT AGAIN!! (Silver gets up in Yellow's grill, and the two start yelling at each other. Which is strange, because they were getting along so well only a couple of lines ago…)
Pink: Wolf *SMACK* Owww! Sh *WHAM* FINE GOD DAMMIT! RED!!!
Orange :… You were saying?
Pink: Wolf didn't take that whole "positions" thing well, did he?
Orange: Not at all…
Erik: Hey, what color am I?
Pink: This is not the time Erik-
Shadow: Splishy Splashy Blue!
Pink: (Face palms)
Bill: And that brings us to an end of this week's installment of "Grey's Monogamy".
Steven T. Colbert: Good night everybody!!!
0000
The lights turn off, and everyone leaves. Soon, the entire… place is empty. On the floor, a small piece of paper is on the ground. In the moonlight, if someone was there, they would read:
Pink: Hakkyou
Red: Shadow
Green: Dark
Orange : Fox
Silver: Wolf
Purple: Krystal
Lavender: Katt
Lime: Miyu
Gray: Bill (Obviously)
Crimson: Panther
Yellow: Falco
The janitor came in the next morning, doing his daily sweep. The sheet of paper was never to be seen again.
0000
Such is the story of… well, not my life. Hopefully, the people I ripped on will just glue themselves back together and think up some stuff that'll knock your sister's knickers off.
Hehehe. I just made that up