Hayner's Poison

A One-Shot by Ellipsis the Great

Summary: I swear to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth: loving him ain't easy; he's bad, bad news…

DISCLAIMER: Kingdom Hearts and everything affiliated with it belongs to SquareEnix and Disney. All I own is the plot…

Rated: M for language and not-so-mild mentions of sex.

Theme: 6. Poison

"He lies and he cheats, he loves and he leaves; that's just the way it goes. But I do what I can, I stand by my man—I think he loves me, I think he knows…he's a mean man but he's my man; my man alone." –Stefanie Heinzmann, 'My Man is a Mean Man'

Hayner hisses as his head is jerked back, strong fingers digging into his skull and yanking hard from the very roots of his hair. But the sound soon turns into a breathy moan as hard lips are pressed against his, a rough body thrusting into his.

He pulls away with a helpless sob as a hand grasps his naked groin, squeezing the base of his cock so he can't cum.

"That's right. Beg for it, chickenwuss." The words are whispered tauntingly into his ear, and a tear squeezes out of his eye as he wishes—not for the first time—that he wasn't so damn weak when it comes to the toxic presence above him.

"P-please." He chokes out, writhing in pain and pleasure. Mostly pain, but his body has grown used to that and usually mistakes it for pleasure, now.

The man above him chuckles with sadistic, scornful delight and pumps his hand, hard and dry, but even that is enough to have him screaming in pleasure as he finally (finally!) releases. Seifer grunts and pulls out, spraying cum onto his stomach where it mingles with his own.

Seifer rolls off to one side of the bed, wiping himself off on the towel on the nightstand before grabbing a cigarette and lighting up, standing and pulling on his boxers and pants. He leans over Hayner and blows smoke into his face, laughing when Hayner coughs, and drops a hasty kiss onto his forehead.

"Good little slut." Seifer snickers, ruffling his hair. "I'm going out; don't wait up for me."

Hayner nods, not trusting his voice.

Tweaking his nose almost affectionately (almost…always almost), Seifer leaves his lover panting on the bed.

Hayner grabs the used towel and wipes halfheartedly at his chest and stomach, but gives up soon after, his arm going limp. He rolls over onto his side, draws his legs up to his already sticky chest, and begins to cry.

Seifer doesn't come back until long after Hayner's tears have dried.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

"I don't see why you stay with him. Use your head, Hayner; it isn't as if he's doing you any good! Look at all of the shi—all of the stuff he's put you through over the years!" Olette scolds the next day when Hayner walks into class red-eyed and with telling bite marks on his neck. "I'm not just talking about since you started this…this thing with him, either! He's always—"

"I know, 'Lette." Hayner says tiredly. He's tired of this conversation.

"Just say the word and I'll help you kick his ass." Roxas says, not even half-joking.

"He's not that bad, you guys, seriously." Hayner doesn't even sound convincing to himself.

Pence makes a disgusted noise. "Look, Hayner, if you aren't gonna leave him…there's nothing we can do for you, man."

"There's nothing that needs to be done." Hayner insists.

They all know he's lying.

(PAGEBREAK, Y'KNOW?)

He wakes with a start the next morning to the sound of loud banging on the door.

"Hayner! Hayner, you stupid fuck, lemme in!"

The words are slightly garbled—partly by the distance and door between the speaker and hearer, and partly by all the alcohol the speaker has very obviously been drinking.

Hayner lets out an annoyed huff of air, but drags himself out of bed and to the door, opening it in time to get a fist to the face as Seifer tries to beat on the door again.

"Oh, shit!" Seifer says, catching him before he falls. It's time like this when Hayner almost thinks the taller man actually feels something other than lust or disdain for him. "You okay, lamer?"

Hayner nods.

"Good." Seifer drops him as easily as he'd caught him, and Hayner hardly keeps himself from falling to the floor. "Dunno whatcher doin' standin' where the door's s'posed to be anyhow." He walks in without any further ado, yawning and stretching. "Oh, and I brought a friend home, too. Mind sleepin' on the couch?"

Hayner shuts his eyes and wishes he could ignore the man who has followed his supposed boyfriend inside.

"It's fine." Hayner says hoarsely, trudging to the couch and pressing one of the pillows over his head to block out any of the sounds that are about to come out of their—out of Seifer's bedroom.

"Are you sure this is okay?" The man's muffled voice asks hesitantly.

Tell him to go away, tell him to—

"'S fine." Comes Seifer's reply. "C'mon."

Hayner wishes he could take his friends' advice.

(PAGEBREAK, Y'KNOW?)

A week later, Hayner wakes up to the sight of half-wilted flowers on the pillow beside him, where his boyfriend should have but never did lay.

Happy Anniversary, the card reads.

Hayner smiles wanly, wanting to think it's a sweet gesture but knowing that the flowers were probably been filched from someone's windowsill. Plus, their anniversary had been a month earlier. Hayner had cooked a special dinner; Seifer had gone to a bar, then home with some nameless man.

"Like 'em?" Seifer plops down beside him, tossing an easy arm around his shoulder.

"They're beautiful." He says, turning his half-smile on his lover. "Happy Anniversary."

Seifer buries his face in his shoulder. "Our anniversary was last month."

His smile stretches across the rest of his face. "So you did remember."

"Not until I saw it on the calendar." Seifer confesses into the crook of his neck. "Sorry."

"'S fine." He says, and it is. If nothing else, just hearing Seifer apologize makes it worth it. It's a rare event.

Seifer nods wordlessly, and stands up, kissing him hard but chastely. "I'll see you later." He says, as if nothing out of the ordinary has just happened. As if the flowers are supposed to make everything okay. As if a simple apology can erase every bad thing that has happened. As if that clears the way for him to start over with his stupid fuck-ups.

Hayner's heart drops into his stomach, but he forces himself to continue smiling. "See you."

Seifer leaves, and Hayner tosses the flowers out of the window.

(PAGEBREAK, Y'KNOW?)

"You're so beautiful like this." Seifer groans against his lips as they make love.

At least, Hayner is pretending they're making love. Really, they're just fucking.

It's just like everything else with them—Hayner pretends they're lovers, but really they're just rivals with benefits. Hayner pretends Seifer loves him, but really he's just convenient and compliant. Hayner pretends he could stop anytime he wants, but really he's just addicted to the taller man.

It's an addiction that is far worse than drugs. Drugs don't even seem good for you, even if they're enjoyable. Sometimes, Seifer makes it easy to believe that they're really in a healthy, loving relationship. And a person can quit drugs, eventually. Can force themselves to take them less and less until they don't need them anymore. Seifer won't let Hayner stop. Won't let him back down. And Hayner doesn't want to quit. Not really. He prefers to pretend—to hope.

"God, harder." Hayner pants, gripping the headboard with sweaty hands.

"Nngh."

This time, for a reason known only to himself, Seifer stays after they've finished. He snags Hayner around the waist, pulls his close, and falls asleep with a tiny little sigh. Hayner rolls over and puts a hand on Seifer's cheek. Seifer is almost loveable like this, though Hayner loves him no matter how unlovable he is.

"I love you." He says softly.

Seifer's eyes flutter open—Hayner wonders if he has really just woken up again, or if he was just pretending to sleep.

"I love you." He says again, as if to prove that he can say it even if he knows Seifer is awake.

Seifer rolls his eyes and kisses him. "I love you, too, dumbass." He says.

Hayner smiles, tucks his head under Seifer's chin, and falls asleep, satisfied.

If there's one thing about this relationship that both of them are sure of, it's this:

Seifer is Hayner's poison, and Hayner loves him for it.

The End