Bleeding Love
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. OTH and all of its characters are solely owned by Mark Schwann.
Summary: "I don't care what they say I'm in love with you. They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth. I keep bleeding love. You cut me open"….. "I know we're not the couple we used to be but we're gonna get there I know it.
A/N I am so sorry for the delay. I've had some surgery since I last wrote not to mention major writer's block and life buzzing as always. This is the Season 5 fic that I promised during A Future to Have And To Hold. The fic begins as the fight starts after the Soap Opera Derby. Before anyone wonders, yes Carrie will be in this fic and yes, she will cause major trouble but never permanent trouble. I assure you. I'm all about NH. This is my twist on Season 5 and 6. I hope you enjoy.
Closed off
from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you
know it you're frozen
Ooooh...
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted into the
ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking 'round
Thinking I'm going crazy
Chorus:
But I don't care what
they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But
they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That
I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep
bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You
cut me open
Oooh, oooh...
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try
to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that their goal
Is to keep
me from falling
Hey, yeah!
But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world
of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks
that I'm going crazy
Maybe, maybe
Chorus:
But I don't
care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me
away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the
vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep
bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep,
keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
And it's draining all of me
Oh they
find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For
everyone to see
I don't care what they say
I'm in love
with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the
truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep
bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep
bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep,
keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep,
keep bleeding love
Leona Lewis
Chapter 1 Racing Like A Pro
Haley slung the plate and beer bottles at him as hard as she could. "Are you going to say anything? OR are you just gonna sit there like you have for the last four months? You gonna get drunk maybe pout a little… cry?
When the bottles flew by Nathan he was in shock. Haley hadn't said much in the four months since his accident. She had let him deal with things on his own and silently tried to support and encourage him as much as he'd let her until finally she gave that up. Letting Jamie down though was her breaking point, that was obvious. Nathan had to make her understand what he was going through though. He hadn't thought of her needs in a long time and tonight wouldn't be any different." You don't get it do you? I used to be somebody Haley. Do you understand that? Do you understand what that means? I used to be Nathan Scott and I was great, and I shoulda walked away ok? I know that and I didn't do it and now I'm nothing. And I have nothing" The minute that the words had escaped his lips he knew she didn't deserve it but he couldn't seem to stop himself.
"You have nothing? You have a beautiful son who is here. I… am here! You have got to figure out who you're gonna be in this Nathan because this version of you does not work for us. I can not keep living like this. Do you understand what I am saying? One more night like this, Nathan, and I promise you, you will have NOTHING"
As he listened to hear voice close to breaking and the tears about to take over he realized just how much hell he had put her through in the last four months. 'God what was he doing?' He thought back to the day on the Rivercourt. They had talked about the points shaving and the trouble that had been started.
FLASHBACK
"There's only three things that I am afraid of losing in this world Haley. You, our son, and the game."
"How bad will it get if they find out about you and Daunte?"
"They'll take my scholarship for sure…. And I probably won't play anywhere. Ever."
END FLASHBACK
He had to find a way to make this right. How had he let it get so out of hand? Then it occurred to him. DAN. The one person he hated most in his life. He had turned into him. Misplacing his priorities, screwing up his life and giving up the one thing that could have made the man whole, was what made Dan Scott the man that Nathan knew today. As that realization struck him, he began to tremble as he realized he was doing the same thing. He couldn't expect Haley to stay with him like this but he didn't know how to move forward either.
He made his way out to the patio and sat in his wheelchair. His life had gotten so messed up since college. He had only one choice and that was change this before he lost what mattered most. His wife and his son. The only things he had left that meant the world to him. The reason he had to go on living.
As he rolled the wheelchair as hard as he could, he went over the edge of the pool. He had no idea if he'd be able to do much of anything with his legs, but one thing was for sure. He had to get off his ass and back on his feet. If he couldn't then, there was no life for him anyway and he'd be dead whether he was breathing or not. After all what was worse getting everything you wished for or not having enough? Nathan wasn't sure of the answer to that question until Haley's outburst tonight, but now he knew what he had to do. If he lost his family, he might as well cease to live. It was time to sink or swim.
Later after he made his way out of the pool, and he had pushed his wheel chair to the steps and gotten it out he moved back so that he could get back in it once it was dry. He had to support Jamie. He had to talk to him. Haley was right; he had reacted just like Dan. Jamie needed his Dad today and like the last four months Nathan had let him down.
Once inside the house, he reached Jamie's room and woke him up. "Jamie? Hey buddy. Wake up. We're going out ok? Get ready."
"To where?"
"It's a surprise. And hey bring your cape"
Nathan rolled out of his son's room. When Jamie came out they both went to the hill that the soap box derby had been held. "You know son, there are a lot of times in your life when you're afraid. But if you don't work through that fear, you might miss out on some pretty great things" As he awaited Jamie's answer he thought back to the day Haley had told him she was pregnant.
FLASHBACK
Nathan was eating breakfast and his cell phone rang. He picked it up. "Hello? Yes sir. A full scholarship? Yes sir! Tell Coach K I won't let him down. Thank you" As he hung up the phone, he immediately wanted to share the information with Haley. Taking just a second to pump his arm he pulled it in "YES!"
"Haley?" Where was she anyway? "Haley?"
Finally the bathroom door opened and she stepped out. She had been throwing up so much that morning that she'd barely been able to get dressed. "What?"
Bestowing the most beautiful smile that he had probably ever given her, he threw his hands out to emphasize his news, "I'm going to Duke!"
"I'm pregnant"
The smile fell from Nathan's face and his gaze dropped to her still flat stomach. He couldn't have heard that right!
"It's not Brooke. It's me.
"Wh… well how long have you known?"
"A few weeks"
WHAT? "A few weeks?"
"I'm sorry I didn't know how to tell you"
God he had to sit down before he fell. He moved to the bar in the kitchen of their apartment. He finally let go of the breath he had been holding. "Oh" he said as he sat on the stool.
"Can you talk to me? Can you tell me what you're thinking?"
"Do you still want to go to Stanford?" he asked as his eyes searched hers.
"Wh… what?"
"Stanford. For college"
Haley wasn't sure she heard him right but decided to answer him. She truly didn't give a shit about Stanford right now. She was more worried about Nathan wanting this baby, this beautiful life that they had created from their love and Nathan was worried about college? What the hell? "Yeah. I mean of course I do but I don't….."
Nathan's cell phone rang again…. And he looked down.. 'Shit! Rachel' God he had to get out of here. He needed some time to clear his head. He couldn't talk to Haley about this right now. He had to deal with himself first. She had been able to adjust and he needed that too. "I have to go"
"What do you… Nathan, Nathan?" He stopped at the door and looked back at her. "I'm pregnant. We're pregnant. Just tell me how you feel about that."
"I feel like you shoulda told me a few weeks ago. That's how I feel" With that he opened the door and left her standing there.
END FLASHBACK
"Are you afraid Daddy? Jamie asked.
"Sometimes." As Nathan thought back he was hit hard during that memory. Yes he'd been terrified that day, but look at what he would have missed if he hadn't let go of that fear? "You?"
"Sometimes"
"Then we'll do this together" Nathan pushed the wheel chair along side of Jamie as the derby car rolled down the hill. Smiling as he thought back over the first four years of Jamie's life and all of the things that he would have missed. Jamie was a pretty amazing little boy. He had his Mom's heart and his Daddy's looks and charm. Thank god Nathan had realized that before it was too late, too late for Haley, too late for Jamie but most importantly too late for Nathan himself. He couldn't lose his family. He WOULDN'T lose his family. Dan had nearly caused him to make that mistake the day he found out he would be a father and later that night, at the press conference, he announced that he was going to be a father with wonder, amazement and the most pride swelling in his heart that he had ever felt….
Yeah the greatest day of his life…. He knew it then and he knew it now. As much as he loved the game, he loved being a husband and a father more. He had to start making that known by showing his very neglected wife and son he loved them and putting them first. He had to pull himself out of this funk and start being the man Haley used to believe that he could be. Nothing was worth losing them! Especially not basketball. He would get it right and save himself and his family the pain that continuing on this path would repeatedly cause if it killed him. Because if he didn't he'd surely die.
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