Author notes: First things first. Ahem. This fic is going to be….pretty stupid. I mean, as a form of writing stupid ideas and stupid jokes. XD And there'll be Pervert!Sasuke. In other words, he'll be OOC. Meh, is just that writing IC characters sometimes is sooo tiring! I want to write stupid things! I want to receive flames from SasuSaku fans and answer them with NC-17 pictures of SasuNaru! It'll be SO cool! (readers: +facepalm+)

So yeah, the first part will be comedy. But I know myself, and that won't happen for too long. The second part will be adventure, and then Sasuke will return IC. Blah. But till there, let me have my fun…XD

Warning: Homosexual relationship with the naming characters Sasuke and Naruto. Okie? Now let's go.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Paw 01 – Found you!

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lights were bustling, illustrating the vivid night life of Tokyo, crowd running everywhere, busying their time. No one registered a small cat, brilliant black fur bathed by moonlight and a pair of grey eyes, luminescent spots in the middle of a cold and dark alley. The animal crouched on the top of a thin wall, between the broken shard of glasses made to evade burglars and old rusty fences.

If someone could pay the minimal attention aside from their narrowed lives, they would notice that the graceful cat stood in that place motionless since the rising of sun till the last shines of moon everyday. Repeating his routine throughout several months.

But why did he keep on doing this, perched daily on that place? The reason was a young man that was currently being feasted hungrily from that pair of eyes. The target was stunningly breathtaking, his energetic disposition was coupled with a taut and perfect body, glossy tanned skin, spiky golden hair and the most vibrant color of blue located on his iris. The blond's had a constant hectic schedule, always exiting early from house and arriving late. Sometimes he would even arrive at early morning, grunting exhausted and throw himself haphazardly at his bed, only to wake up on afternoon. That man…was interesting.

The slit eyes narrowed amusedly when he saw the tanned body hopping everywhere while he cooked haphazardly his ramen. He was always so goofy…since he didn't have a regular work shift, he always settled to fast-food and other unhealthy options. However, as the cat could observe that seventy percent of his meals consisted on Ramen…maybe this wouldn't be the case of careless attitude on nutrition.

He was fascinating. From the information that his servants gathered to him, the blond was an orphan and raised himself from scratch, now earning a generous salary inside the models agency. Even though that appealing body constantly radiated with sunny energy, there was a shadow of loneliness that always followed him around. The black animal licked eagerly around his mouth. He couldn't wait until he succeed to enter inside that blond's life, suck off that negative emotions and transform all the poignant sighs into pleasurable laughs. Among with other much more pleasurable activities, of course…

The graphite eyes suddenly flashed red, the tuffs of dark fur broadened menacingly as he arched his back hissing wary. Someone as strong as him was approaching. A dark crow flew towards his direction and landed side by side with the cat. At recognizing his ally, the cat settled down and retracted his claw, returning to observe his object of interest while he swished his tail contently.

The bird, contrary to normal aviary species, wasn't on the edge looking sideways all the time, he just observed calmly the mammal. There was a light scar on his left eye and where it was supposed to be a brownish eye, there laid a crimson color instead. The crow tilted his body to the feline's ear level and opened his beak. The cat, somehow, returned with a polite meow.

Now, if anyone at this moment would really pay attention to their hushing voices, they would temporarily stand perplexed in relation to their chat, as they could probably swear that they were hearing human language:

"Is he the one?"

And blink confused if they could see a trace of smirk at the seams of the black cat's mouth.

"Yes."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Alright! Now today ended well as a wrap! Good job everyone!" The boss shouted happily while many of the workers sighed in relief.

Naruto also began to shuffle all the equipment on cases. All the flashes, tripods, camera devices were practically his babies since he grown so found to use them daily on his work. They all belong to the agency he worked, though he sporadically had the liberty to use them for personal reasons, as long as he returned in the end.

Naruto always loved photography. Somehow, the idea of capturing images enthralled him. He believed that a true talented artist will be able to even succeed catching emotions and portrayed in that practically magical piece of glossy paper. Somehow, that made him more like an artisanal photographer instead of the digital ones encountered nowadays. He liked using roll of films. He liked to be inside that dark room and personally develop each photograph, seeing the images exhibit on the originally blank paper in each wave inside the chemical water. It was fun.

He yearned to be this type of artists, to travel through the world and find every kind of obscure beauty forgotten on the world. However, it was the necessity that called first before his dreams. For raising himself inside an orphanage, it was almost a miracle for him that he managed to succeed on graduating from high school and enrolled inside a prestigious college. He probably wouldn't have the opportunity to own a full scholarship if his favorite teacher from middle school, Umino Iruka, didn't help him to dig in.

Though instead of exerting his profession as a journalist, Naruto preferred to pursue his hobby, living only with photography. It'd be a hard career. Nevertheless it'd be worthwhile. But it didn't fill the food plate neither could pay the house taxes.

And that's why he worked in an agency of models. The salary was good, the boss was albeit a little pervert but reasonable to everyone and his biggest struggle would be managing the temper from some models and fuss over them from time to time. Nothing extraordinary, really. Sure, at some point of his life, he felt that there were no challenges for him to leap, but financial stability requested his full attention. He didn't complain, because if anyone could see a broader point of view, though his past had met some struggles, he achieved some of his dreams in contrast with many other dejected lives appeared everywhere. He considered himself a fortunate person.

So he had his share of friends. Umino Iruka, obviously, came first, as being his guardian, savior and hero. A kind man that looked above the mischievous little prick that always demanded attention and recognized the lone orphan that cried inside. He was the one who helped him to graduate from school and aid him every time. Simple words could not describe Naruto's immense gratitude over such gentle soul.

Next would be the adorable couple Yamanaka Ino and Akimichi Chouji. When Naruto started his career inside the agency, Ino was a newbie model, still feeling edgy towards her first shoot. Their primary equivalent anxiousness was what brought the first ties of friendship, which transformed into a cozy companionship over the months. Ino was the one who presented her boyfriend later, an aspiring sushi chef, to Naruto, and they gradually became close friends.

And at last:

"He-hello—uh, g-g-good evening, U-u-uzumaki-san." Stammered a young woman while the blond man fumbled to find his keys.

"Hi, Hyuuga-chan!" Naruto beamed back towards the cute lady.

Hyuuga Hinata is a long-haired brunette who lived next door to him. She always greeted politely to him and sometimes she would offer some of her food (I-I c-c-cooked to-too m-much, w-would you like s-s-ome of it, U-u-uzumaki-s-san?) though Naruto never succeeded to have a more than five lines type of speech with her. Either she would suddenly sputters and say that she was busy or either he would try to invite her to enter his house to talk more comfortably though she would blush so much that Naruto would get worried over her blood pressure.

She probably was raised in a respectable family and wasn't allowed to enter so freely inside a stranger's house, the blond guessed. The poor girl was an example to be admired; she was blind since birth though she achieved her independency by herself. He wondered sometimes if her relatives wouldn't come here occasionally, apprehensive, but at seeing that she never had guests, maybe not.

And this was Naruto's life. And this was Naruto's days. A regular job that filled his stomach, regular friends, regular neighborhood, regular past. His prankster side always stirred uneasily from his now steady life, though he constantly could simmer it down. Not now. Maybe later. When he succeeds to have a steady name on the market. When he wins the photograph competition. When he accumulates more money. Then he'll have his fun. Travel to China or Tibet. Or some country on South America or Africa.

Regular ambitions. Regular wishes for the future.

Oh, how fate loves to twist our path, huh?

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It all started in an ordinary day. Because non-ordinary occurrences have to punctuate inside a lukewarm routine just to give spice on life. Therefore, there laid our innocent Uzumaki Naruto, completely unaware that in five more minutes, his life will take a complete loop and mess with his normal schedule. He was, once again, busy choosing the best focus for the next shoot and sat aside for a moment to rest a little.

Now here comes the bait, that it's one of his ordinary friends. Strangely enough, the hook was also generated from an ordinary conversation, talking about daily topics and regular exchanges of experiences. Because every unexpected event had to camouflage behind common incidents, or it'd instantly encounter suspicious hindrance that may impair the objective.

Now here's the dialogue:

"Hey Uzumaki-kun!" Chirped a cheerful girl with long cascades of champagne colored hair.

"Hey Yamanaka-chan!" See? Ordinary conversation.

"So? When it'll be my time to pose?"

"Just more five minutes, Yamanaka-chan."

"Alrighty! I'll pester you instead then. It's because you're so cuuuuteeeee!!!" She hugged him gleefully from behind emitting a chuckle from the blond man.

"Then that would be called sexual harassment, Yamanaka-chan. Aren't you worried that your boyfriend would get jealous over this?" She shrugged her shoulders, pinching his cheek absentmindedly.

"Nah. Chouji? He's a good guy, he's superior to that. Poor him, that's why I love to harass him all the time."

Amused, Naruto shook his head. "And that's why you love him so much. I swear, I can't understand your relationship with him."

"It wasn't meant for anyone else to understand it, we're together and we're happy, that's all that really matters, right?" Ino grinned while she stretched the fluffy cheeks of her friend. "And when will be your time to be happy, Uzumaki-kun?"

The other one raised his hands in meek defeat and whined. "Oh no, we're not having this conversation right now."

"But it's your fault Uzumaki-kun and I can't believe that you ruined another date that I arranged specially for you. She was absolutely perfect for you, Uzumaki-kun!" Ino elevated her voice mild annoyed.

"Huh…I didn't think she was right to me, Yamanaka-chan…" Seriously, she didn't even know the current prime-minister that was administrating Japan.

"Why not?! She got a perfect model body, mind you, not as perfect as mine but somewhere up there, she was feminine, bubbly and gentle! You had to like her!" She protested slapping playfully his face.

"Not everything revolves around appearances, Yamanaka-chan. I think that you, above everybody should know."

"But you two would make such a cuuuuuuuuuuuuute couple!" Cue to a wild fussing.

"But maybe I don't want to have a cuuuuuuuuuuuute matchmaking!" Cue to smart-ass rebuttal.

The young model pouted and proceeded to hassle the caramel cheeks, as the poor victim of her pinching ignored her bullying to contemplate about her words. Naruto was indeed seeking someone in a romantic level, he guessed that arriving into a lonesome house everyday stung his soul from prior experiences of forlorn childhood. He desired to find someone who'd be able to eliminate that, though he didn't want to find someone who'd only temporarily warm his beds for a couple of days. Yearned to find a real relationship, with confessions, conversations, fights, make-up sex and all.

Some of the models would flirt with him and others (namely Ino) would try to arrange blind dates for him, though he didn't want to find empty faces with empty heart (and sometimes empty head). Sure, he had his years of one-night stands, but right now…maturity craved for his other half. His soul mate.

Ino sighed dejectedly. "Man…I go through all this trouble to find the ideal girl for you and you simply rejected her so easily on the first date. Do you really want to have a girlfriend, Uzumaki-kun?"

"Of course I want to! But I still haven't found the right person for me…" His cerulean eyes fogged from sad memories and mumbled. "I want to find someone special."

Glancing sympathetically at him, she did last pinch and squeezed hard, Naruto protesting slightly from the pain. "Alright, alright, I won't insist on this plan. Hey, if you're feeling so alone lately and still can't find a girlfriend, maybe you should buy a pet!"

"Huh?" The tanned man returned her statement bewildered.

"Yeah! Pets are great companions and surely would warm up your cold house. Ya know, open your door and find your dog wagging his tail waiting for you or a cat purring when you caress it! That would be so cute, right? And I know that you're a lonely person, maybe you need an animal to cheer you up!" Line.

"Well…maybe…but it's a common fact that a pet demand constant attention and I barely live in that house. Maybe it's not a good idea…" Naruto answered.

"Then you should adopt a cat! Heard that they're really independent and doesn't need too much cooing. It's the ideal for busy people like us!" Before her friend could open his mouth, she decided to rummage over her purse. "I know a great place where you can have a cat!"

"Do I need to pay fortunes for their pedigree?" The young man grimaced at the thought of raising an arrogant persa.

"No no…actually, they are a bunch of cat lovers who picks stray cats on the streets and raise them until they find someone interested to adopt them. My friend told me about it when I said that I wanted to have a cat together in a house that I'll buy with Chouji and maybe it'll help you out!" Ino showed the website to him. "They're pretty organized association, all the pets have taken vaccines and all. It's safe."

"Hm…" Naruto looked at the letters slightly interested.

Sinker.

"I'll take a look."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The moment he returned to his house, he turned on the computer and typed the address. The design of the website was pretty clean and professional, and they also stamped proofs from government approval, essential legal information and all sorts. They posted some photos of people who had adopted a cat and were living happily with the new member of their family as well as many other successful sappy examples.

What really attracted Naruto to examine this program was the idea that he was adopting stray cats. Raise something that was unwanted and shower with attention and affection. When he used to be a bothersome brat, he always wished that some kind couple would adopt him and he would live a normal life filled with warmth. As days passed and hope diminished, he quickly learned to step aside that childish dream and seek his own destiny. Though that desire still persisted through past to nowadays. To give an opportunity for something that he failed to achieve.

He clicked on the adopting list and, much to his surprise, he only found a photo of a black cat with grey eyes. Wow, is this institution that successful that they managed to adopt everyone save this poor cat? He glanced over the set of photos. The cat looked like it was the brooding type, an unfriendly face and he wasn't a kitten anymore. Maybe that's why nobody wanted to take him. Too bad…Naruto wasn't the type to like gloomy personality…

He was almost moving to close the window when he stopped dead. But wait a minute…the poor guy. He was alone. Nobody could take him. Nobody wanted him. Maybe he'll wait for eternity and no one would ever give him home and food. He'll spend his entire life alone…

That was Naruto's decision to adopt the cat.

The poor target didn't even know that he had just entered in a trap and would be eaten alive…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

At the very next day, a cheerful pink-haired girl showed up with a carton box on her hands. She thanked for taking care of the cat and assured that it was absolutely domesticated and docile. After knowing that she was the one who was taking care of it before Naruto adopted it, he asked:

"Does it have a name then?"

For some odd reason, the girl snorted and looked inside the box. Then, she glanced towards the blond and answered sweetly:

"Oh no, you can choose whatever name you want to for him. He's an intelligent animal."

They exchanged goodbyes and telephones, in case that he'd find any problem with the feline and Naruto calmly opened the box to see his newly acquired pet.

The cat was currently staring back with a hungered expression until it smirked (smirked? Wha?) and jumped outside the small cubicle. The human scratched the back of his head. Well, he heard about how animals could be so similar in emotions with men so maybe that was the case. He grinned happily as the small fur ball scrutinized over his house, walking elegantly across the living room until it turned slightly his small stature to look at his owner and meowed.

"Oh. I betcha you're hungry, right?" Naruto went to his kitchen and brought cat food to his cat. "I've bought this brand for ya! Hope you'll like it!" He opened the can and placed in a small bowl, offering to it.

The slit eyes looked quite appalled towards the food and peeked back at his owner. The cerulean eyes just beamed back, contented for the prospect of seeing his adorable pet eating in front of him. With a sigh (does cat sighs too?) sharp canines chomped down the contents and cleaned up the plate. While it was bathing himself with its tongue, Naruto wondered:

"What kind of name I should choose to you…? I'm never good with names." He idly patted the upside head of the dark fur and mumbled. "Maybe I should call you…Momo! What do you think?"

The cat immediately stopped his activity to glare darkly at the human. Does cats also have the ability to glower too? The blond chuckled.

"Okay…maybe not." He grabbed the small fur ball and glanced at its stomach. "Oh, and you're male too. Maybe I should give you a masculine name then!"

The cat peeked suspiciously back.

"Genghis Khan!"

The feline paused. And then looked baffled towards his owner with a quirked eyebrow.

Wait, cats doesn't have eyebrows!

"Then…Julius Cesar!"

The cat looked like it wanted to die of embarrassment (or wanted to slap it's paw on it's forehead) before rolling its' graphite eyes to Naruto.

Cats can roll their eyes too? So weird!

"Maybe I've been working too much lately…" He lightly rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands and glanced at his pet back.

"Then…how about Jaguar? Since you're a brooding cat and all."

The animal seemed to be considering this name (Huh? Are all cats capable to understand human language?) before putting his stamp, I mean, paw of approval on his tanned cheeks and lick unabashedly his face.

"Alright alright, I guess you liked then." He proceeded to be bathed in fondness by his new pet and returned back with a stroke next to the triangular ears. Purring contently from his caress, Jaguar continued to lick in every part of his skin, until Naruto laughed.

"Whoa, you surely like to lick more than a regular cat huh? So strange…"

"And it seems to specially prefer licking my lips. I wonder why…"

He carried his cat towards the bedroom and contemplated.

"Well, the website said that it'd better to make the cat sleep alone, or he'd grow to spoiled and too possessive towards the owner. Not to mention that he won't respect me so much if I let him sleep together with me."

But he wouldn't mind spoiling that ball of black fur. Pampering was something that he never had the opportunity to own and he wanted to give some to anyone else. Well, the respect part was troublesome but…

"Oh hell, one night wouldn't take so much of a difference, right?" Naruto gave his trademark toothy grin and the cat licked his mouth back. "Let's sleep together!"

He changed his clothes, placed his pet by his side, opened his blankets to dive inside and turned off the lights. "Good night Jaguar!"

The small animal purred back.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The cat waited till the blond man would really fall asleep to stand aside and started his transformation. The black fur disappeared to there were long slender legs instead, the dark appearance substituted to an alabaster smooth skin and the feline features morphed into a human lines with sharp eyes and elegant face. The last remnants of original midnight color rested on his short hair, soft strands but spiky end. The now cat-turned-into-man looked affectionately to his owner in front of him (he snorted inwardly. Owner? Uchihas don't have owners, they own.) and brushed the warm sun-kissed cheek with his fingertips.

He waited so long till he could personally touch this astonishing face. He longed so much to be this close to that tantalizing body. And he achieved them all.

The young…man? Cat? Revised mentally the rules about entering in the human society. First night, the human needed to know his true façade. Well, he could have morphed some hours prior to the current situation, but maybe he'd lose the opportunity to be so intimately next to this man…and he also wanted to see the expression that the blond will wear when he wakes up.

Also taking his share of blanket, the brunet covered himself to enter in a world of slumber.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It's been long that Naruto had such satisfying and energizing sleep. Perhaps adopting a pet was a pretty good idea after all. The cold feeling whenever he went to rest was instantly gone, as he could hear the purring and soft breathes near his ear and soft strands of fur tickled his skin. The blond absentmindedly patted the head of his cat, using the other hand to cup a yawn while he sluggishly opened his eyes. Hm…he didn't remember that his cat had such long fur on his head.

Actually, they looked like they were human hair. What's this furless part of his body…? Huh? Was his cat supposed to be that big? It was almost using half of his bed! It wasn't supposed to be that heavy. What…it seemed that below that tuff of fur (hair) there laid an almost human-like face.

No wait. There really is a human face right in front of him. Not to mention that it was a manly face. Is he still dreaming? Naruto tapped the pale cheeks with both of his hands. Yep, smooth, he can feel it, it's not a dream. Who is this guy? Wait a minute…

!?!?!

WHO THE HELL IS HE?! And wait, this man is totally naked! Who?! What?! How?!

"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" A startled yell shackled the walls of his room.

And that's how Naruto's ordinary life suddenly turned upside down. (Figuratively and literally, as he stumbled from his bed)

And that…will be the start of this bizarre adventure.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Author notes: Naruto doesn't have the whiskered cheek mark. He'll have it later. Well? Comments? Flames? "Stop-writing-new-fics-and-end-the-old-ones" complains? Write it on! XD