Dear Eddie Weddie In his weee little house In Paris France (Home of Frog Legs. Like yours)

YOU WANNA HAVE A FIGHT! I'm IN ENGLAND! I'LL JUST FLY OVER THE OCEAN AND I'LL HEX YOU SO YOU WILL NEVER LOOK THE SAME AGAIN!

Do you know whyyyyy Bella started to like you! Your looks! ONE LITTLE HEX can change ALL that! Bella-Time? What when she has to go to the bathroom or change her cloths or take a shower you call it a "human minute" Phshaw! Geeze, at least I don't become emo if my girlfriend is taking a shower...Actually I become the opposite...But that's private!

So anyways, Jaspersticks? Why not just use Merlin's Beard (Or Ron's favorite. WHat in the name of Merlin's most baggy y-fronts!)

Do you know what, Me and Ginny are both strong personality's! And I can get all the interviews or photo shoots or number one hottest man of the year and she doesn't lose faith that I love her! Gosh, is your girlfriend insecure much!

Well I doubt that She would doubt that I love her after the cat thing....

Well anyways, I have to go to classes, where I learn magic! (I learned this GREAT hex, today... Carrotentoous Curse, makes your hair become carrots.

Bye Edward,

Harry James Potter
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft And Wizardry
GRYFFINDOR Tower
Beside My Hot Girlfriend

P.S I DIED AND CAME BACK!
P.p.s I Killed a Basalisk!
p.p.p.s ALMOST is the key word! I DIDN'T!
P.P.P.P.s MY WAND IS 11"!!