Femoral Artery

Naruto had been so sure the haunting was a hoax and climbed the fence with little thought. Instead he found a surly teenager with red eyes and glistening fangs. Forced to stay, Naruto learns that even the undead get lonely. NaruSasu.

Italics are Naruto's thoughts and _________ is the passage of time.

Please enjoy.

As… If… thought Naruto as he struggled to climb over the wrought iron gate, this place…could be…haunted.

Finally reaching the top, he perched and looked over the house. It was overly large and falling apart. There was ivy crawling up the shutters and through the broken windows. The front door was caught in the wind, banging open and shut with a squeaky little moan in between. It certainly looked haunted.

Meh, yeah right. Everyone else is just chicken.

Truthfully, Naruto was here on a dare. He lived on the other side of town and hadn't even known this place existed until a few days ago. The jocks had dared him to visit, some time between tripping him in the hall and shoving him into a locker. When you're jammed into a tight, dark space you say 'yes' to things you would not usually consider.

So here he was, swaying on a fence as he dug through his pockets for the camera.

The camera he needed to take pictures with to prove he actually came to this godforsaken plot of land.

The camera that was nowhere to be found.

"Well… SHIT!" Naruto yelled, doing a little dance in frustration. "Now I have to walk back to the bus stop, which is a mile away, get on the bus, get off the bus, get on a new bus, and get off again, run into the house and TRY TO FIND THE DAMNED THING."

Naruto raised his hands in submission at the same time a gust of wind came. His loss of balance toppled him down the other side of the gate.

The front door banged open with the wind, making its squeaky little moan.

Naruto's head banged on the hard ground and he let out a squeaky little moan himself.

He rolled over and clutched his head in agony, feeling the warm stickiness of what could only be his own blood.

Lovely.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

After ten minutes of lying in misery and woe, Naruto finally managed to peel himself off the gravel road and head towards the house.

I mean, if I'm already here.

He managed to make it up the front steps without falling through any of the large holes. The door was still banging and wheezing so he reached out and grabbed hold of it. He stood there for a second as if unsure of what to do. Thinking about it, Naruto grasped the knocker and let it fall three times. The silence echoed.

At least the dead can't say I'm impolite, he laughed to himself.

Naruto slid through the doorway and into the dark cavern within. He fumbled through his pockets again and found the flashlight.

Oh, of course, I remember everything but the camera.

He flicked it on and squinted in the dim glow. He was in a parlor of some sort, complete with moldy sofas and a cracked fireplace. He pointed the light to the floor in order to look for cracks and instead found a large brown stain spread along the carpet.

And here we find the dried blood of the monsters last victims. On the left you will see the diner where Marilyn Manson eats chili cheese fries every Wednesday.

…I seem to be cracking up…

Instead of turning and darting out of the house, Naruto ventured in further and picked up a broken picture frame from the mantelpiece. Bringing the light in closer he could make out a family of four, all with similar dark hair and eyes. Or so he assumed, as the portrait was sepia toned with age and the edges torn with wear.

There was a gentle thunk behind him. Naruto whirled with the flashlight and dropped the picture in a resounding smash. Nothing was there.

Naruto crept towards the source with his light source flashing wildly in all directions. His toe hit something and he looked down. There was a cup lying on the floor, but more importantly, there was liquid soaking into the carpet.

What kind of beastie comes downstairs for a glass of water?

At least, he hoped it was water.

Knowing he should be turning tail, Naruto took a shaking step into the hall.

__________________________________________________________________________________

He crept past the kitchen, which was in better shape than the parlor and passed some bedrooms. He only glanced inside before moving on. He wasn't sure how much he actually wanted to find the resident of this creepy house

He finally reached some stairs and decided to go up, checking that each stair could hold his weight before stepping onto it. Reaching the summit, he was surprised to find how much better kept this floor was. Naruto was positive that someone had vacuumed recently.

This just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

Naruto moved past a study and another bedroom before stopping in on the pristine bathroom to take a leak.

When you gotta go, you gotta go, he thought as he unzipped his fly. But I'm pretty sure this is the most surreal situation I've ever been in. Maybe when I hit my head I lost more blood than I thought? Must be, or else I'd be home by now.

Finished his business, Naruto washed his hands and moved on.

Real running water. Yesss!

Finally making it to the end of the hall, Naruto stopped in front of the only closed door he had encountered so far.

Ah Ha! I've got you now!

He flung open the door with a look of smug satisfaction only to find a linen closet stuffed with blue, fluffy towels.

"Oh, dear god no! Not the towels! Anything but the towels!" He screeched in girlish parody before sinking to the floor in defeat.

Well, this has been a wonderful waste of time, Naruto thought, so very glad I came.

"Hn."

"Hn is right," said Naruto out loud before realizing that he had not said that last bit.

He leapt up and swung the flashlight in a wide-arching motion, coming to rest on another flight of stairs hidden to the left.

"Of course, more stairs. Why didn't I think to look for more stairs?" He grumbled to himself as he dragged himself up the stairs, still unsure of why he was bothering.

"Yes, let's head towards the thing that left blood stains at the entrance. Seems like a grand idea! So glad you thought of it, Naruto."

As he trudged up the staircase he couldn't help but notice the names and phrases scratched into the wall in childish script. Things like Itachi is a big dunderheadand Sasuke was here; September 7th, 1780.

Finally reaching the door at the top of the stairs, Naruto paused and knocked gently.

If this is another bloody closet…

It creaked open softly and Naruto stepped into the blinding light.

Jokes about "don't move into the light" flew around his mind before his eyes adjusted and he could look around.

He was in what appeared to be a teen's bedroom, complete with band posters and a computer flashing messages. And sitting on the bed, was a teen with long dark bangs obscuring his face and headphones covering his ears. His hair had chunky red streaks and his clothes were all black. He was barefoot and his toenails were painted the same colour as the towels downstairs.

All in all, he looked like every other 'emo' kid Naruto had ever met.

The boy looked up and tucked his bangs behind his ears. Naruto fought an odd compulsion to wave shyly and opted for yelling instead.

"You mean to tell me, that after all this, the house is haunted by some grumpy teenager and his tacky music!?"

The boy cocked his head to the side and continued to stare.

So Naruto cocked his head in the opposite direction and glared back, crossing his arms over his chest. Naruto took this time to look the boy over a little more carefully. He was very attractive, tall and slender, with pierced ears and chains decorating his collarbone. He was wearing tight black jeans and an oversized black shirt that draped gracefully off one shoulder.

It was his face that caused Naruto to pause. He had beautiful, pale skin with large eyes framed by long eyelashes and dark purple eyeliner. Rather than that, what grabbed his attention was that the eyes themselves were bright red. Enraptured, Naruto lowered his gaze to the boy's full lips. As he stared they widened into a smile that showed pearly white teeth and large fangs.

Vampire.

Naruto stumbled back and fell on his ass when the boy crawled off the bed and stalked towards him.

"Whoa, whoa, hold up buddy! Less with the coming, more with the stopping!"

The boy stopped and crouched down. Grabbing Naruto's face as if to get a good look at him. Naruto puffed up his cheeks in indignation.

"Yes," said the boy in low guttural purr, "you will do nicely."

Naruto stayed stalk still, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. The boy… Scratch that, the vampire was staring intently and too close for comfort.

"Ummm… Nicely for what?"

"My brother believes me to be a shut-in. He says I only go out for food; never pleasure. He encouraged me to find a… play date. To think I did not even have to leave the house. You came right to me."

Naruto swayed slightly to the sound of the vampire's voice. It flowed like music. It took him several moments to decipher the actual words and not merely their sound.

"A play date?" Asked Naruto.

The boy nodded once and started to stand up.

"Wait, wait, wait. Wait."

The boy paused and again cocked his head to the side.

"This is all because you can't get a DATE? You and every other geek on the face of the planet. Why should I help you?"

The vampire stared.

"For one," he started, "I am faster and stronger than you. I could simply break your legs. Two, I could hypnotize you and force you to do my bidding anyway. Three, I could drain all of your blood here and now, before burying you in my basement."

Naruto stared up at him defiantly and the vampire sighed.

"You are also trespassing and I could phone the police."

"What?! That's cheap!" Naruto leapt up and jabbed his finger into the other boy's chest. "Calling in the authorities, what kind of monster are you?!"

"That is what you are afraid of?" The vampire's eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"Dude, when you have a record as long as mine, that's the last thing you need. I'd be better off in your basement. Do you have any idea what my Aunt would do to me?" Naruto clutched his head and ran in frenzied little circles.

The vampire covered his mouth to stifle a smile.

"And what exactly is so funny?"

The boy straightened up.

"Nothing, nothing is ever funny. Life sucks and then you die. And then it continues to suck."

Emo, thought Naruto, Totally emo.

"Alright, I'll hang around tonight, as long as you don't call the cops. Deal?"

The vampire gaped at his outstretched hand before grasping it firmly.

"Deal."

______________________________________________________________________________________

Naruto glanced at the ticking clock. Two hours had passed since their pact, two of the most boring hours of his life. The vampire had simply slid back onto his bed and clamped the headphones over his ears. Naruto remained on the floor, unsure of what to do now. He knew he was in deep shit but was still feeling pleasantly detached.

Must've hit my head harder than I thought.

The clock struck ten and Naruto was less than impressed.

Midnight, it's supposed to be midnight. That's what every horror movie said, every terrifying novel.

At last, Naruto had had enough. In one fell swoop he jumped up onto the bed and yanked the earphones off the vampire's head.

"I'm bored!" He yelled.

"Good for you," said the vampire, stretching to grab the item out of Naruto's hands.

Naruto stuffed them under his shirt and turned away slightly in an effort to protect them. The vampire grabbed him and flipped him onto his back, crawling over him. They locked gazes and stayed there for a moment.

Naruto was the first to break eye contact and blushed slightly. The vampire grinned and started running his hands up Naruto's shirt.

"Wh…Wh…What are you doing?!" Naruto said in a strangled voice.

"Looking for my headphones," replied the boy in a lazy drawl. "Obviously."

"Yes, obviously. Of course," said Naruto breathlessly, before getting a hold of himself and tossing the vampire off the bed.

The vampire landed gracefully and lay on the floor looking up at Naruto with hooded eyes and a mischievous grin. Naruto looked him over.

"You're a pervert!"

"No," replied the vampire, "I just get what I want." The boy held up the headphones in triumph.

Naruto buried his head in the pillow to compose himself and hide the rising blush. He looked beautiful sprawled out on the floor like that, with the cocky little grin.

When Naruto could look up again, the boy had moved over to the computer and was typing away. Naruto stood up and tiptoed across the room to see what he was writing. The vampire closed the window before he could get close enough to read.

"Hmmm… Secrets then?" Asked Naruto, draping himself over the vampire's shoulders as if it were only natural.

"Maybe."

Naruto reached over to the keyboard and hit a couple keys in quick succession. The window popped up again and Naruto was able to read the first few lines before the vampire cut the power.

I look at you through clouded eyes

As blood drips down my naked thighs

Nails cut soft my tender skin

Love me deep, my wicked sin

"You write… poetry?"

"You have a problem with that?"

"No, it's good. Depressing as hell, but good. What kind of monster writes poetry?"

The vampire stood up angrily and Naruto fell off his shoulders in a jerking movement. The boy mumbled something under his breath.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that," Naruto whispered.

"I said, 'Do not assume I am a monster'. You know nothing about me."

Naruto watched the vampire's back and his clenched fists.

"You're right," agreed Naruto, stepping in front of the vampire, "I know nothing. Let's start over, okay?"

The boy stared, confused.

"Hello, my name is Naruto. Very nice to meet you."

He extended his hand and watched as the vampire weighed the options. In the end, the boy dropped his hand into Naruto's and shook, the beginnings of a friendship and not merely a deal.

"Hello, my name is Sasuke."

__________________________________________________________________________________________

The clock struck eleven but neither boy noticed, lounging on the bed and talking.

"…So, I strung the fool up by his ankles and left him dangling over the edge. I am told the authorities found him several hours later, still screaming for his Grandmother Matilda."

Naruto rolled back and forth in silent laughter before wiping his eyes and sighing.

"That's fantastic. I can't believe you did that! I've gotten in trouble for some pretty terrible pranks, but nothing like that," laughed Naruto, his eyes shining with awe.

"Well, the fellow deserved what was coming to him. He should consider himself lucky that my brother did not find him first."

Naruto lay on his back and stared up at Sasuke.

"Do you realize how strange you sound? You say some really old phrases that even my Aunt doesn't use. And trust me, she's old."

Sasuke looked thoughtful. "What do you mean?"

"Words like 'fellow'," said Naruto, "you don't hear that word very much anymore."

"Well, although I stopped aging at age eighteen, I am actually… Two hundred and… Twenty-eight years old."

Naruto sat up quickly and bashed his forehead on Sasuke's chin. He clutched his head in pain but Sasuke looked unperturbed.

"Holy shit, that's old. I'm not sure this relationship is going to work out, you cradle robbing bastard."

"Relationship?" Asked Sasuke, taken aback.

Naruto grabbed at his heart in mock agony. "Ouch, Sasuke. After all, you're the one who invited me out on this date in the first place."

"Oh… You feel your honour has been sullied?"

Sasuke looked so serious that Naruto burst into fits of giggles.

"Sullied honour?"

"Well, yes, in days past, I might be required to offer my hand in marriage in order to protect your honour. Assuming you were a woman, although I hear that nowadays such restrictions do not apply."

Naruto stared at the furrowed brows of his newfound friend and started giggling anew.

"Sasuke, sometimes a date is just a date. Besides, I'm pretty sure these are special circumstances."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're a vampire, I'm a human. That doesn't happen everyday."

Sasuke continued to look perplexed.

"Does it?" Asked Naruto, now unsure.

"Well… Yes. My race often finds a human partner to later convert. There are so few vampires that to pair off amongst ourselves would lead to extinction."

"How many vampires are there? I always assumed they were just like the bogeyman, bedtime stories for misbehaving kiddies."

"Maybe seven hundred thousand in total, spread across the world."

Naruto looked upset, "That's a lot of vampires."

"Not in the grand scheme of things, no."

Naruto stared quietly at the wall, calculating. "Are there any other super naturals I should know about?"

"There are vampires, were animals, fairies, goblins, trolls, dragons, griffins, unicorns, kraken, centaurs, minotaurs, mermaids, chupacabras, nymphs, et cetera… The list goes on. Even your "bogeyman" is real, a vampire with unorthodox practices who lives in Scotland."

Naruto felt his eyes glaze over and his vision blur. He felt himself fall forward into Sasuke's lap. He felt the world slip into darkness and he welcomed the feeling.

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my…

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Naruto could feel someone trying to shake him awake and assumed it was his well-meaning Aunt. Well-meaning or not, she could go to hell. Naruto nuzzled into his warm pillow and swatted at the intruding hands.

Piss off.

The shaking started in earnest and Naruto could hear someone speaking softly, but did not care to listen. Instead he stretched out and grabbed an odd package that gained him a smart slap to his head. Naruto let go and rolled over, blinking up at an unknown ceiling.

And an angry vampire with a light blush.

"Damn, it wasn't a dream," groaned Naruto as he rubbed sleep out of his eyes.

"No, it was not," replied Sasuke tersely, "and please keep your hands to yourself in the future."

Finally realizing what he had indeed grabbed, Naruto sat up in a flush.

"Man, I am so…so…sorry, I thought I was at…at…at home," stuttered Naruto.

Sasuke looked him over and apparently found him suitably mortified because he accepted Naruto's apology without further begging.

He slinked gracefully off the bed and wandered across his room to a wardrobe. He swung open the doors and started rifling through the clothes. Naruto sat on the bed and took the time to tame the angry red blush staining his face.

Way to go, Naruto.

Sasuke turned abruptly and tossed some clothes in Naruto's direction. They were all black.

"What's this?" Inquired Naruto, pawing through the clothing.

"Clothes."

"Yes, I get that," sighed Naruto, "but why?"

"My brother has returned home and wishes to meet you. Your own clothes are ripped and stained with gravel and blood. Perhaps not the best first impression, so pick something out and wear it before my brother becomes… Cross."

"Oh-Kay," mumbled Naruto, pulling some items loose from the pile. "Would you please turn around then?"

Sasuke looked bemused.

"No."

"No?"

"Definitely not."

Feeling as if this argument would go nowhere, Naruto instead turned his back to Sasuke and began undressing. He could feel Sasuke's eyes on him and felt his blush return.

He picked a simple ribbed black tank top and a loose pair of dark jeans. The jeans barely stayed up on Naruto, he could not imagine them staying on Sasuke's slimmer hips.

He turned around and spread his arms out for approval. He was worried that his blond mane and tanned complexion would look strange against the black that complimented Sasuke's pale skin and dark hair. Sasuke didn't seem to think so.

He looked Naruto up and down before walking over to his desk and pulling a long silver chain out of the drawer. He sauntered over to Naruto and instead of handing him the necklace, put his arms around Naruto's shoulders and stared into his eyes while he clasped the chain.

They stayed staring long after Sasuke had fixed the necklace into place; close enough to feel each other's breath, before Sasuke pulled away and declared Naruto 'perfect'.

Naruto was still in a state of shock when Sasuke gripped his hand and led him down the stairs.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Naruto was staring down into the darkness, still grasping Sasuke's hand as if it would save him.

"Your brother lives in the basement?" Asked Naruto, trying not to shake. "The same basement you threatened to bury my corpse in?"

Sasuke grinned sideways.

"The very same."

Naruto swallowed the lump rising in his throat and turned his eyes heavenward.

"Let's get this over with," he said, following Sasuke down the steps into the basement.

Or rather, the 'Pit of Despair'.

Reaching the bottom, Naruto couldn't help but notice that there were still no lights.

"Your brother ever heard of electricity? Wonderful invention. Banishes gloomy shadows without that nasty habit of burning down the house." Naruto knew he was rambling but found he did not care.

"Do you always go off on tangents when nervous?"

"Oh yes, all the time. Such a lovely pastime, don't you think?" Replied Naruto; sure that Sasuke was hiding a smile in the dark.

Turning what he presumed was a corner; Naruto saw a faint crack of light spilling out from under a door.

Brace yourselves, men, thought Naruto as Sasuke reached out and pushed open the door, light blinding him.

Once his vision had cleared for the second time that night, Naruto was able to take in his surroundings.

The room was bordered with floor length red curtains, falling onto mahogany flooring. In the center of the room was a dining table groaning under mountains of food, framed with ornate chairs. In the furthest such chair sat a man who could only be Sasuke's older brother.

He had long black hair, pulled back and tied with a velvet ribbon. He wore a white shirt covered in a red vest and topped with a black ascot. In general, he looked like a vampire ought to look.

Naruto turned back to Sasuke and frowned.

"You could try a bit harder you know. At least he looks like a vampire, you just look depressed," said Naruto before he could stop himself.

Silence rang through the air before a chuckle broke the quiet.

It was Sasuke's brother.

"Really, it is too true. I try to tell him but he simply ignores my advice," said the new vampire, ignoring his younger brother's glare. "Where did you find this delightful fellow?"

Naruto cut in before Sasuke could answer.

"My god, he says 'fellow' too! Holy crap!"

The vampire stood elegantly from his chair and was immediately in front of Naruto. Before Naruto could take a step back, the vampire had grasped his face and was staring intently.

"Yes," said the vampire, "he will do nicely."

Naruto tore himself free of his grip and shook his head.

"Déjà vu," he said.

"Tell me about it," mumbled Sasuke under his breath before speaking up. "Naruto, this is my brother Itachi. Honoured brother, here is my chosen."

Naruto whipped his head between the two brothers, trying to understand what they were talking about.

"Are you sure? He is quite young," asked Itachi.

"Not much younger than I was, besides I would not change him for many moons. I would like it to be his choice. I want to convince him that this transition would benefit him greatly, for more than one reason."

"And you are sure you would not tire of him?"

This time, Sasuke looked at Naruto when he answered. "If you had spent the last few hours with him, you would see that would be quite impossible."

Itachi also turned to stare at Naruto, who was fidgeting uncomfortably under the heavy stares of two vampires.

"Alright," said Itachi, turning his gaze, "my blessings on you both. Now join me for dinner and let us talk of less serious matters."

Itachi returned to his seat and Sasuke sighed in relief. Naruto was still puzzled.

Naruto pulled on Sasuke's oversized sleeve to get his attention.

"What was that about?"

"Do not worry. I'll explain later. Much later."

Sasuke moved forward and pulled out a chair, gesturing for Naruto to sit. Still baffled, Naruto nonetheless took the seat graciously and turned his attention to the mounds of food.

"I thought you guys just sucked blood. What gives?"

Although the question was directed at Sasuke, Itachi was the one to answer.

"We can survive without this form of nourishment, yes, but we still enjoy the taste and comfort of a meal."

"What about the blood?"

"Just another part of being a vampire. We only require a very small amount and can live without if we so choose. Unfortunately, that has some… Unpleasant side effects." Itachi said this grimacing.

Naruto stabbed a potato off one of the plates and chewed thoughtfully, watching Sasuke delicately butter a roll.

Swallowing his potato, Naruto found he had yet more questions.

"So, you just come on to some stranger and instead of giving them a hickey, you bite their neck?"

Itachi again answered before Sasuke had a chance.

"More or less, it depends on the vampire. Some will take anyone while others have richer tastes. Some will never drink from a human, instead using animals or blood banks. Some will only drink from their partner."

"Partner?"

"Ah, often another vampire, sometimes a human. Many such humans are converted into vampires, thus becoming partners."

"So you can suck blood from other vampires then?"

"Yes."

"So, you just hang around biting each other's necks at parties?"

"Why do you presume the neck is the only place where there is a ready supply of blood?"

"I don't know," said Naruto, thinking, "I guess because that's how it's done in the movies."

"Consider where else one might draw blood."

Naruto tried to recall his lecture notes from Biology, the unit on body systems and functions.

"Well…" Started Naruto, "The wrist could be another place. The vein is close to the surface and pretty easy to access." He looked down at his own wrist as he said this.

"Nicely done. Those are the two arteries that most vampires use, especially new vampires without a partner. Vampires with a partner may choose a more… Intimate approach."

Naruto saw Sasuke look up his brother with a face of mild horror.

Curiouser and Curiouser.

"Such as?" Prodded Naruto, being sure to keep his eye on Sasuke's reactions.

"The Femoral Artery." Itachi, too, was watching his brother out of the corner of his eye.

"What's tha-," Naruto was cut off by Sasuke abruptly standing and knocking his chair back. His face was a shade of red that Naruto had not known was possible on anyone, never mind someone so pale.

"Itachi…" Sasuke growled and Naruto felt all the hairs on his arms stand up at the very sound of it. He had forgotten just what kind of fire he was playing with.

"Please, little brother, he will find out sooner or later. If he is your chosen, then I expect he will be a willing participant."

Naruto was lost again.

"Now, sit d-o-w-n," said Itachi in such a voice that demanded respect and compliance.

Sasuke groped the ground for his fallen chair and sat, all the while glaring daggers across the table. Sasuke spent the rest of dinner in silence, while Itachi chatted with Naruto about less controversial subjects.

What have I gotten myself into?

__________________________________________________________________________________________

As soon as dessert was finished, Sasuke stood and stomped out of the room. Naruto had time to thank his host for dinner before running after him.

Itachi was left alone in the room with a crooked little smile

___________________________________________________________________________________________

"Hey, hey," panted Naruto as they climbed the last flight of stairs before Sasuke's bedchamber. Sasuke continued to ignore him and yanked open the door with enough force to pull it off its hinges. He tossed the door across the room and made for his bed.

"I SAID 'HEY'!" Shouted Naruto, grabbing onto Sasuke's arm and spinning him around. "Look at me when I'm talking to you."

Sasuke glared and pushed Naruto up against the wall.

"Shut up! What do you know? You do not know anything! You are a human whelp in over his head and you are playing with forces you cannot handle!" Sasuke was seething and obviously trapped in a memory Naruto could not see. His eyes were unfocused and his fingers were flexing into Naruto's flesh.

Naruto looked him in the eye and was not as scared as he should be with a vampire's nails digging into his neck.

"Don't assume I'm in over my head," he said calmly, "You don't know me. Yet."

Sasuke stopped the furious retort on the tip of his tongue, finally coming back to the real world, and smiled sheepishly. Sasuke was probably remembering an earlier conversation the two shared, which had started much the same way.

"But," continued Naruto, "I want you to know me." Naruto stroked Sasuke's hands in what he thought might be a calming gesture. "I want to be friends. I want to know more about you, and your life, and your relationship with your brother."

Naruto and Sasuke stared frankly into each other's eyes.

"I want to understand."

Sasuke broke eye contact and let Naruto off the wall. Naruto massaged his neck where he was sure there would be a bruise.

"I also want you to never do that again."

Sasuke apologized and looked intently at an especially interesting bit of carpet fluff. Naruto let the incident go because he was positive they would talk later. Sasuke would be appalled at his actions, without Naruto rubbing salt in the wound.

"I also want you to explain what a Femoral Artery is."

Sasuke looked up with a sly grin spreading across his face.

"I can do better than that, I can show you."

Naruto was sure that look could only mean trouble, but he nodded his head slowly.

"Show me," he whispered.

The End

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A/N: The Femoral Artery is an artery that lies in the inner thigh. I'm sure your overactive imaginations can guess where that might lead, were an excited vampire to go searching for this blood supply.

So, thank you for tuning in and please leave any suggestions where I can find them. Let's just say I was still finding Easter eggs in December; so leave any comments in the 'review' box. Truthfully, I still only have an eight percent chance of finding them…

I started writing this story on Gate Night and only just finished it. Unfortunately, it was not ready in time for Halloween. For all I know, it's still not ready. I wrote it as a one-shot and the style may seem a little odd, so feel free to tell me if you're confused. I wouldn't be surprised.

Thank you again and hope to see you soon,

PictureMagpie