Chapter 14: Coping

The ride back from Portland was quiet. Neither Bella nor I had much to say, though a few times she had thrown her shield to allow me access to her thoughts. It seemed as though we were both on the same page, both of us worrying about Renesmee and the reaction she had in the woods when she found out that I could no longer hear her thoughts. I wanted to ask our baby if that gift had helped her feel safe, though truthfully it was apparent that Renesmee had used my ability as a means to deal with her fears. Now that it was gone, both of us would have some coping to do.

"Daddy, I'm thirsty," Renesmee whispered, letting go of my left hand as she rubbed her eyes.

It had been a while since any of us had hunted, and we still had at least another hour and a half drive until we arrived home. "We still have a while to go, do you think you can wait?"

Renesmee sighed, and turned her head to peer out the window. As she did, I caught Bella's worried gaze through the rearview mirror.

She's so sad, Bella thought.

How I wished I could respond to that, but all I could do was nod.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It had just begun to drizzle when Bella pulled the car around the back of the house. Renesmee had fallen asleep again clutching my hand which rested on her lap, and had woken once crying out before she slept peacefully once more.

As carefully as I could, I reached over and unlatched the safety straps holding Renesmee secure in her seat, lifting her out and easily cradling her small body in my arms. My little girl opened her eyes once, smiling briefly as she saw my face and then Bella's once I was out of the car.

In Renesmee's room, we dressed her in a soft cotton gown before laying her down in her bed for what we hoped would be a good nights rest. Once Renesmee had Jack in her arms she relaxed, rolling onto her left side as Bella and I stayed to watch over her.

"What time did Alice say they would be arriving?" Bella whispered.

"A little before ten. Carlisle is staying behind." My wife gazed worriedly at me and I shook my head. "Brady is doing well, but Carlisle wants to stay for a few extra days, just to be certain."

Once we were sure our daughter would remain asleep, I took my wife's hand and led her from Renesmee's room, down the hall to our own. On the way home I had put a great deal of thought into keeping Renesmee safe, realizing that for a while we needed to be by her side until she could cope on her own. What I was concerned about now was getting Bella to agree with that.

In the beginning, after the confrontation in the meadow, all of us had been extra alert when it came to Renesmee's safety. At the time our baby hadn't realized the gravity of the situation and went about her day to day activities without a care in the world. These past few hours had proven that those days for Renesmee were coming to a close. Our little girl was well aware of how precarious life could be for her, and needed to feel safe once more.

"Edward, I think we need to get her to go to the meadow on her own tomorrow," Bella said as she turned around to face me.

I had not been expecting her to view things in that way, and already my head was shaking in response. "We can't do that, not yet. Bella, right now we need her to realize that she is safe, and I think the best way is to stick by her side. We need to help her find activities around here that she will like, let her adjust to not having my ability to read her mind, and perhaps later on allow her to go off on her own."

"Have you ever heard of the expression of falling of the horse and getting back on? If we don't encourage Renesmee now, I'm afraid that she will never feel safe being able to play on her own. Now more than ever we need to show her that she is just as safe as she was before that loss."

I heard what my wife had said, but was focused on Renesmee, who had woken up and was on her way to our room. A second later she walked through the door. clutching Jack to her chest as she rubbed her eyes.

"I opened my eyes and you were gone," Renesmee told us as Bella knelt in front of her.

Our little girl wrapped her arms around Bella's neck, as my wife stood up and carried her to our bed. "We were right here all along," Bella offered, as she sat on the edge of the mattress.

Renesmee sniffed in response, rubbing her eyes again. "I heard the loud bang again, and I was afraid."

As I sat down next to them, I looked into my little girls eyes seeing the fear there, knowing that I would not be able to have her away from my side. "I think you may have had a dream," I told her, putting my left arm around Bella's shoulder, pulling them both closer to me.

"Daddy, may I sleep here?"

Without having to think about it, I told her yes. If she needed to sleep in our bed until she finished growing, than so be it. Our daughter needed security and happiness and Bella and I had an obligation to fulfill that for her.

Once Renesmee was snuggled between my wife and me, sleep came quickly for her. As she slept, I stroked my fingers through her soft brown hair, humming my lullaby.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The sky lightening up outside indicated mornings arrival. As I glanced to my left, I wondered what thoughts were going through Edward's mind. We hadn't talked, and I hadn't allowed him to hear my thoughts, only because they were full of anger and sadness. It was evident that we would not agree on how to handle the current situation with our daughter, and I had spent the past several hours trying to see things through his eyes. Losing the ability to hear Renesmee's thoughts had to be like losing the ability to hear or to see. For both of us, him having that gift, had allowed for us to be away from Renesmee without much worry.

It would be easy to keep her close, and make her very dependent on us for her need to feel secure, and to an extent we needed to do that. The part that was difficult was sheltering Renesmee so much that she would never want to be apart from us. Perhaps that was an overreaction, but at any rate Edward and I needed to figure this out before things got too out of hand.

"We should go hunting before everyone starts to arrive," I finally said, speaking softly so Renesmee could remain asleep.

Edward opened his eyes, turning his head toward me as he nodded. "I was just thinking the same thing."

Our baby was resting with her head against his chest, and stirred when Edward answered me.

"I want to stay please," she whispered.

"We all need to hunt," I told her, scooting closer to them, and rubbing my hand over Renesmee's back.

"But I can have eggs," Renesmee told us as she sat up, stretching her arms over her head.

"How about both," Edward suggested.

She shook her head, covering her face with both hands.

"Are you afraid of the men coming back?" I asked, sitting up, and gently pulled her into my arms.

Renesmee nodded her head. "It was so loud Momma."

Just the thought that someone was on our land, using guns to hunt so close to my baby, made me see red. I wanted to hunt them down, but that wouldn't help any of us. "Yes it was, but they wont be around any longer."

As my baby looked up at me I smiled, catching a strand of hair that had fallen into her face and pushing it behind her ear.

"Will you and Daddy keep them away?"

"Yes," Edward said, before I could even form a thought.

We would have to find a way to keep people away, and I wondered how long it would be before these people would react to us the way others had in Forks. Humans, with the exception of me, had a natural tendency not to come around, and until now I had never thought to question how long it took people to figure that out, after the Cullens arrival in a new place.

"Go get dressed, and we will meet you in the kitchen," I finally said, hugging my baby before letting her go.

Before Renesmee walked out the door, she stopped, turning to look at both of us as if making sure we wouldn't leave her. That worried me, and once she had gone I got up and walked over to our window. "We have to encourage her to be independent."

There was no sound, but a second later Edward's arms wrapped around me, as he pulled me gently so that my back was pressed against him. "Can you tell me why that is so important to you?"

Suddenly I felt very defensive, not liking that he was questioning me on this, but as quickly as that feeling had come, it passed and I sighed. "I don't know, last night I kept seeing Renesmee seven years from now, shut up in her room, terrified to come out. I know how irrational that seems, but I just want to make sure that she can cope with her life, which means encouraging her to do things independently of us, even at this young age."

"You and I see this situation very differently. When Renesmee is fully grown, I see her as a very independent young woman, because of feeling secure and protected when she needed that from us. I think that if we push her to be independent when she isn't ready, she will feel insecure and as an adult she won't be able to cope as well."

Did we have to push her one way or the other? Maybe we just needed to let Renesmee show us what she needed. All I could think of was my own childhood, and as difficult as it was at times, trying to take care of myself and my harebrained mother had shaped my own life, helping me become very independent at a very early age.

"Daddy, I can't find my slippers," Renesmee called out, sounding very distressed. Before he left to help her, Edward turned me around cupping my cheeks with his hands as he leaned in, brushing his lips against my own. "I love you."

"I love you more," I said resisting the urge to pull him to me and do more than just kiss.

We had time to figure this out, and hopefully we would find a balance between our views and not screw Renesmee's life up as I feared we might.

The End

AN: I know this seems abrupt and perhaps it is, but the rest of the story needs to be separate. Trust me when I tell you that it will all fit together, and that anything that didn't get answered here will be answered with this next one which will have a lot more action and an older Renesmee.Thanks again to all of you who took the time to read this. I hope you liked it, and like I said there is much more to come in the sequel.