I have no claim over Harry Potter or Twilight.

As a warning, this is AU with the time line. There are hints (ignorable but there) of Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, and Remus/Tonks.

This was a random idea and I wanted to write it down because I was having a brain spaz with my other story last night. I'm better now.

Anyway, hope you like it!

"No way. No way! How on earth- No." Harry stopped outside the doorway of the drawing room at Grimmauld Place with Ron at his side, wondering what on earth it was that Ginny found so unbelievable.

"There's nothing wrong with being a Jacob," Hermione huffed. Ron's eyebrows shot up and he looked over at Harry in curiosity.

"He's so immature!" Ginny replied.

"He's young! And he's an actual friend to Bella instead of some- some like 'god' she idolizes? I mean, what girl wants to go out with a guy she's always going to feel like she's not worthy to have?" The pair of boys kneeled down, listening hard to the conversation Ginny and Hermione were having.

"That's not it! You are missing the point completely. Edward is- is-"

"Over-bearing and controlling?"

"Self-conscience and protective!"

"Self-conscience?"

"He's always so afraid he's a monster and he keeps waiting for Bella to realize it but he acts arrogant to cover it sometimes."

"You say tomato; I say tomato," Hermione replied. Harry and Ron heard a squishing noise like she had just flopped down on a couch or chair. "Edwards," she sighed.

"Well, Jacob is also hot headed and plain out mean!" Ginny protested. Again, they heard a flopping noise. Presumably Ginny had just sat down also.

"What do you suppose a Jacob or an Edward is?" Ron whispered to Harry. He shook his head.

"I have no idea."

"I'll admit he has a temper but he's not mean! He tries to show off for Bella and it goes wrong. His plans fall apart or he gets hurt and he acts mean sometimes to cover it up."

"Potato, potato," Ginny sighed.

"And Jacob is nice to Bella. He makes her laugh when she's feeling down. He made her happy when no one else could because Edward decided to be over-controlling of the relationship again and not ask for Bella's opinion!"

"He was being protective of her! He loves her!"

"Fine he loves her, but so does Jacob!"

"Edward is better than Jacob. Plain out. He's dazzling. Jacob is just- just- hot!"

"Seriously, do you think it's some kind of code?" Ron asked.

"Probably could be. I mean, what else would it be?"

"Beats me," Ron shrugged.

"Hermione get, that look out of your eye! What are you doing?"

"Imagining Jacob shirtless."

"Oh. Oh!"

"Nice, right?"

"Mmm, Edward's so pretty."

"Okay, he looks nice too."

"So does Jacob. I wouldn't mind staring at either of them," Ginny conceded. A pair of girlish giggles flooded into the hallway, frightening the two boys listening in on their conversation.

"Still, I'm a Jacob, no doubt."

"How can someone so smart be so dumb?"

"Seriously, Edward?" Hermione asked.

"Seriously, Jacob?" Ginny retorted.

"What's going on here?" a light voice asked. Harry and Ron looked up to see Tonks standing there with her head cocked to the side, her arms crossed loosely over her chest. Lupin stood next to her, studying them carefully and silently. Harry and Ron looked between each other. There was no way out of saying they'd been eavesdropping, not that Tonks and Lupin would probably care a whole lot that they were listening to the girls. However, there was a good chance Tonks would somehow slip the information to Ginny and Hermione. It was easy to see the argument fast turning to the best way to hex Harry and Ron if they found out about their listeners.

"Um," Ron began.

"We were, ah-"

"Well, you see- So we were just passing by and we heard Ginny and Hermione."

"Yeah," Harry agreed.

"And they're- they're talking in some kind of- of code," Ron informed the adult pair.

"What kind of code?" Lupin asked.

"Well we haven't yet figured that out," Harry admitted. "Something about Jacobs and Edwards and-" Tonks broke into a smile and giggled lightly.

"You understand?" Ron asked incredulously.

"Understand? Of course I'm understand! Don't I look like a girl to you?" Tonks laughed.

"Well, um," Ron began, stumbling in his confusion of the code. Tonks gave him a small glare.

"Yes, we're all well aware of your femininity," Lupin rescued quickly. "But what does that have to do with Hermione and Ginny talking in code?"

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Everything!" she shot back and then darted forward into the room, nearly falling on her face as she tripped over her feet but managing to steady herself by grabbing the doorframe.

"Tonks!" Ginny greeted happily. "Tonks, you know! Tell her that Edward is better."

"No way. Tonks, you know it's all Jacob!" Hermione protested.

"Edward!"

"Jacob!"

"Edward!"

"Jac-"

"Wow, you really do stick to your sides, don't you?"

"Are you a Swiss? Please don't say you're Swiss," Ginny whined.

"Yeah, Tonks that won't solve anything!" Hermione agreed.

"Swiss?" Lupin muttered to himself. Harry shook his head in confusion and Ron shrugged.

"I'm not Swiss. Although I will say both of them have their benefits," Tonks told them. They heard a flop and a thump. "Ouch! That's going to bruise!"

"How did you manage to hit your shin on the coffee table while sitting down?" Hermione asked in bewilderment.

"Ack, wish I knew," Tonks murmured.

"But seriously, who are you a bigger fan of?" Hermione inquired.

"Even though they both are exceptionally good looking," Ginny conceded. This time a trio of girly giggles struck fear into the mind of three baffled boys in the hallway.

Tonks sighed. "I'm an Edward." Ginny cheered loudly. Ron was pretty sure he heard Hermione sigh in disappointment.

"Seriously, why?" Hermione asked. "Would you really like a guy who's so- so- much of a know-it-all?"

"You have something against a know-it-all, Hermione?" Ginny teased.

"Well no, it's that- I mean that's part of the reason I like Jacob a little. But Edward just loves her so much even though he's so awkward about it sometimes," Tonks answered.

"And he looks the best shirtless," Ginny giggled.

"Mmm, I'd say it's a tie," Tonks laughed. "At least in my mind it is." Hermione chuckled.

"I don't get it," Lupin muttered.

"See? It's got to be a code right?" Ron asked.

"I always knew girls must have some sort of secret language," Harry proclaimed.

"Exactly."

"Nonsense. It's got to be something else," Lupin disagreed seeming lost in thought.

"They just have a second language they're born with," Ron concluded. Harry nodded. Lupin shook his head somewhat distantly.

"But why not Jacob? He's a much better friend instead of just- just a dazzler," Hermione argued.

"Edward can be a friend!" Ginny argued. "Just because she had a crush on him first- You know some people do that. They don't realize they like someone after they've known them for years!"

"Some people don't fall in love at first sight and act like an idiot around them for ages!"

"Hey, let's not get mean here," Tonks interrupted.

"Yeah, that would be Jacob-like of us," Ginny huffed.

"Jacob is not mean!" Hermione yelped.

"What are you two- err, three doing? Remus, when did you get here?"

"About half an hour ago. I was looking for Sirius when I ran into Tonks and we got to talking about something she found while she was helping Sirius clean out one of the upstairs bedrooms today."

"Ah," Mrs. Weasley nodded. "How did you end up here?"

"Hermione, Ginny, and Tonks are all talking in some kind of girl-code," Ron said seriously. "We were trying to interpret."

"Girl-code?"

"Yes, girl-code," Ron agreed. Harry nodded.

"How would you define girl-code?" she questioned, seeming to think the idea was a bit ridiculous.

"They mention Edward and Jacob a lot," Lupin told her.

"Oh!" she said with a sudden burst of realization. "Really? Is Ginny an Edward and Hermione a Jacob? That's what I would guess at any rate."

Slowly Harry nodded while Ron and Lupin just stared at her incredulously before she slipped into the room.

"Molly!" Tonks said.

"Hello Tonks."

"Oh, hi mum," Ginny greeted awkwardly.

"Edward?"

"Not you too," Hermione groaned.

"No, I was just asking if Ginny was," Mrs. Weasley explained.

"Good. I was feeling betrayed. Tonks is an Edward too," Hermione groaned.

"Really? I would have assumed Jacob just because of well, everyone can see that dear."

"See what?" Ginny eagerly inquired. There was a loud crack.

"Sorry!" Tonks yelped.

"How did you manage to break that?" Mrs. Weasley asked in exasperation with the flopping noise that accompanied sitting down.

"Pure talent I wish I could give away," Tonks grumbled.

"Then again, I guess I can see Edward there. Yes very much so personality wise. And the protectiveness. Very much so."

"Tonks has an Edward?" Ginny giggled.

"Tonks must have an Edward," Hermione agreed happily.

"Ton- I do not have an Edward, or anything of the kind."

"Her hair's turning red," Ginny laughed.

"Is that a way of blushing?" Hermione seconded.

"Who is he Tonks?" Ginny pressed.

"Do we know him?" Hermione added.

"So new topic besides my nonexistent, and you'd better remember he's nonexistent, Edward. What are you Molly?"

"Emmett," she said assuredly.

"Emmett?" Tonks asked in surprise.

"Mmm," Mrs. Weasley said.

"She's off in her own world."

"Emmett?" Ginny asked quietly.

"What's an Emmett?" Ron questioned. Harry and Lupin shrugged.

"I really don't see it," Tonks said.

"No, no you wouldn't. But there are certain times- I can assure you there are similarities."

"Mum!" Ginny squealed.

"What's an Emmett?" Ron asked more desperately.

"I don't know," Harry told him.

"Remus, there you are. Thought you were going to stop by this afternoon. What's going on here?"

"The girls are all talking in code," Harry told him worriedly.

"Code?"

"Something about Edwards and Jacobs," Remus informed him. "Any clue?" Sirius laughed as he leaned toward the room and stood in the doorway.

"Just for the record girls, I'm a Rosalie," he called out and then wolf whistled. Someone began to laugh hard and there was a thump.

"O-oops," Tonks stuttered through her laughter as she appeared in the doorway. "Molly just declared herself an Emmett. Wait till I tell Arthur," she said as she kept on laughing. She smiled at the boys in the hallway.

"Sirius, who's Tonks's Edward?" Hermione asked.

"I don't have an Edward," Tonks declared, turning around.

"No, she definitely has a Jacob," Sirius snorted.

"Actually, think about it Sirius, personality wise," Mrs. Weasley commented. Sirius's face grew very clear all of the sudden.

"How did I not see that before? He really is Edward-like, isn't he?" Sirius replied.

"I do not have a Jacob or an Edward!" Tonks declared, her hair indeed turning a bright shade of Weasley red. Hermione and Ginny began to laugh. Tonks growled and stormed away changing her hair back as she went.

"I still don't get it," Ron declared.

"You've been listening?" Hermione asked, coming to the doorway, her and Ginny's eyes getting wide.

"Yeah, you were talking in some kind of girl-code. I couldn't understand a word of it!" Ron yelped. Harry nodded in agreement. Ginny and Hermione looked at each other and seemed to calm down.

"It's Twilight," Sirius explained. Harry, Ron, and Lupin gave him identical looks of confusion. "It's a book series. I found them lying around and I was bored so I read them."

"Ah, that was me. I kept finding them stacked in the drawing room and I'd be about to move them but then I'd start reading," Mrs. Weasley said.

"Oops, sorry Mum. I'd kind of forget them when I finished because I went running to Hermione for the next book."

"Where are my books at now anyway?" Hermione asked.

"It's a book?" Harry asked.

"You were arguing about a book?" Ron seconded. Ginny and Hermione looked at them, shaking their heads.

"Boys," the agreed in unison.

"Even Jacob would be better," Ginny declared.

"Even Edward."

"Really?"

"Honestly?" Hermione asked.

"Probably not then?" Ginny assumed.

"Yes, you too?" Hermione consented.

Ginny nodded as the two girls left down the hallway, leaving only a laughing Mrs. Weasley and Sirius plus three very confused boys.