Okay, I know I know, I shouldn't be writing all these one-shots, I should be updating The Call. I'm having a little writer's block with that right now though, and this is helping to fix it. I will hopefully update that soon. But, on a brighter side, I think this is one of the best things I have ever written! I hope you enjoy it too! :D
-Ember
Not S.M.
JPOV
The snow fell in blankets.
I lay in fluff, on my back, my hands beneath my head. I was dressed only in a turtleneck and khaki pants, but I knew I wouldn't get cold. I looked up at the dismal sky, watching the snowflakes dance from the clouds down to the sky. They didn't melt when they came in contact with my skin though; they stayed there, bringing a slightly tingling sensation to my granite surface.
I hadn't been lying here very long; the snow was not but flecks of white, almost invisible against my pearly skin color. It was quiet here, a good place to just, think. I could hear the playful banter and screams coming from the other side of the brook, coming from our backyard. I could depict the individual voices too, Bella's quiet clarinet laugh, Nessie's childish giggle, Jake's rumbly bark, Edward's musical chuckles, Rosalie's hesitant snickers, Emmett's booming base laugh, Carlisle's bemused chuckles, and though I could not hear her, I knew Esme would be smiling widely, eyes shining, watching her family in happiness. And then there was my wife. Her chiming laughs, her innocent giggles, it was all so perfect. She was perfect.
It was often conceived that I was the most distant in this little family we had formed, but they were mistaken. I wasn't distant because I didn't enjoy being with my family, or that I was happier alone, or just with Alice. No. That wasn't it. I was always there, waiting in the wings if you will. I loved them all, even the pup. They were my family. No, I definitely enjoyed being with them. I just preferred to bask in the happiness that seemed to have permanently settled into our lifestyles. It enveloped me like an intense aroma, a comfortable warmth, a familiar air. It was intoxicating! I couldn't bear to ignore it. So no, it was not true that I was distant. Just, not in the center of things, but on the edge, perfectly content.
Maybe this contentment had something to do with my background. Maybe it was my struggle to ignore my temptations for human blood. Maybe it was my military background, both as a human and as a vampire. Maybe it was my empathetic power, feeling more content with other emotions than with my own. I myself knew that my family's emotions were no substitute for my own though. No, I wasn't attempting to cover my own, far from it. My own emotions were intermingled with my family's, even I couldn't separate them now.
I think that maybe that is really what family is, sharing each other's emotions, feeling another member's pain, or happiness. Going through the tough times, and the good times, together, as one whole unit. Inseparable.
So, to respond to that original misconception, I would say no, I am far from separated from my family. I am more central than even I would believe. I think of myself as the sort of glue in this family, helping each person to stay central to the family, by channeling the emotions throughout our home, our beings.
Sure, there were divisions in our little unit. What family didn't have them? There were the divisions of couples, of smaller families, of brother-sister relationships, the list goes on. They aren't trivial to the picture though. They contribute to the strength of our family, as a whole. It made us even more inseparable. We were connected by many things. Marriage. Friendship. Love. Supernatural bonds that no of us could even begin to comprehend. And blood. Most definitely blood.
Blood is who we are; it is the point of our existences. Kill, drink blood, survive. But, I believe as a family, as a coven, we are contradicting this purpose. We are reverting to the more human purpose of existing; to love.
Without love; we are nothing. We are nothing but shells of our former selves, our existences are purposeless, depressing. This love can include the love of a family, a soul mate, a friend. Love is what we hold ourselves together with; it is an essential ingredient to happiness. To family.
To conclude my little thinkings, I would say that I am not the glue, but something else is. Love. Love is the glue. Without it, we fall to pieces. It holds us together, pulling and stretching our hearts, even when it hurts. Because, it is simply a part of love, pain that is. Love is painful, Pain is love. If I wanted to continue, I could explain how pain is a further breakdown of love, pain is love's glue, but so is happiness. Yes, definitely happiness. The more that love pulls us and causes us the pain, the stronger the glue. The stronger the love.
When you break, when you feel like you can't go on any further, hopefully someone is there. Whether it is a friend, family, a soul mate, a random person of the street. Anyone. Anyone that could help you to glue yourself back together. And they do this with love, and this is how love is intermingled with our existences. It's the thread, holding the patches and the holes of our souls together, helping us to survive. Love is who we are.
I was brought out of my epiphany by approaching footsteps. The ones I knew so well.
"Jasper," she said. Not as a question, not as an acknowledgement. She was just saying my name. With love in her voice, and in her heart.
She sat down softly beside me. Small clouds of the snow rolled off in every direction from the impact, filling the air with swirls of sparkling white, adding to the majesty of this winter day.
"Alice," I said as she snuggled into my side, her silky hair tickling my frozen cheek, dusting off the snow.
"Yes, Jasper?" she responded, now curious.
"You're my glue Alice." I said, pleased beyond comprehension with myself for realizing this.
She smiled softly and giggled her innocent laugh, warming my heart even more.
"Whatever you say Jasper," she said, as we both closed our eyes, basking in the peaceful moment. "Whatever you say."
I hope you liked this, and please review!!! :D