Hell From 12

A/N: This is a story dedicated to crockettsgirl which is where the idea for this story came from. I thought that if I didn't mention her in my little Author's Note I'd be Gibbslapped into the middle of next week.

CLAIM: I do not own NCIS… I only wish I did. Hell I can't even claim the idea but the wording is mine.

The case had been emotionally exhausting for Tony, with the murders, rapes and abductions that he'd investigated throughout his law enforcement career nothing even came close to this case.

A female Marine officer had been murdered at what looked like a case that was similar to all the others turned haywire when it turned out that their boy was being abused and Kate and Tony was in charge of caring for the boy. He jumped at the responsibility with both feet when it was obvious that he couldn't pawn off the job to anyone else. Fortunately the detail had gotten easier as it went on. Tony wanted to protect the kid from everything and everyone. This action had amused Kate. Bobby the kid had been emotionally and physically tormented in similar fashion to Tony.

"What's your name?" Tony asked him.

"Robert," Bobby didn't want to look at him.

"Ahh Robert," Tony said. "Do you know who else has that name."

"I'm named after a Kennedy," Bobby said but looked away. The ten year old wanted nothing to do with Tony at first.

"Do you like the name Robert?" Tony asked. He'd never had any siblings of his own and hadn't had too much to do with kids.

Bobby looked at him for the first time. "Bobby," He exclaimed in a way which made Tony smile and the kid smiled back.

"Bobby it is then," Tony said to the ten year old. Looking into his eyes he could have sworn he saw himself.

Bobby followed him inside.

It'd been a tough case alright but Tony handled it in his usual way until about halfway through the case his demeanor changed dramatically. People had rarely caught a glimpse of his overprotective side. As the kid began to trust him more he began to cling onto the senior agent and never wanted to let go.

The auntie and uncle of came into NCIS to take Bobby. They had been in England on holidays and were now able to take Bobby and be his legal guardians. Of course Tony knew that this was coming and thought that he was mentally prepared for it.

"I don't want to go," Bobby wrapped his arms around Tony in a way that surprised him. "I want to stay with you," He cried.

Tony knelt down in front of Bobby. "Buddy… This is your family. They're nice aren't they?" Tony looked to his eyes. "They're nice people."

"I'm sorry Tony," Bobby said. "I must've done something really bad. Don't you like me anymore?"

Tony's heart broke and swallowed a lump in his throat. "It's not that buddy. You did nothing wrong," Tony said.

"I won't cry anymore," Bobby said to him. "I'll be brave."

"It's ok to cry Bobby, everybody cries sometime," Tony said wiping away Bobby's tear. "Don't let anybody tell you otherwise," He searched around and grabbed his NCIS cap off the table and looked behind him at Gibbs with a questioning look and Gibbs just nodded quietly. "You know who gets to wear caps like these?" Tony asked.

Bobby shook his head.

"Only brave people," Tony said as he put it on the kid's head. Of course it was too big for him but he beamed with pride. "You're a brave kid," Tony added.

Gibbs stood next to Tony. "Yeah, you did good kid," Gibbs ruffled the kid's hair. "You were so good and we agree that you should be a deputy," He tossed Bobby an NCIS badge replica.

"You mean I'm like a deputy sheriff?" Bobby smiled.

"Better than that buddy," Tony said. "You're deputy special agent."

"I'll miss you Tony," Bobby sniffed as he wrapped his arms around Tony's neck.

"I'll miss you to Bobby," Tony said. "But don't ever think I won't see you again… Next holidays I'll come and visit if that's alright."

The Auntie and Uncle nodded affirmatively.

After relaying quick instructions to the relatives and another round of tearful goodbyes they had gone to the elevator. There were some mutterings going on from the team around him. There were some comforting pats on the shoulder.

"I never thought I'd see you upset to see the back of someone that's not a woman Tony." Kate said.

Everyone suddenly went quiet.

Tony hadn't talked to Kate since that occurred. Hell, he wouldn't even look in her direction which made everyone feel uncomfortable. Communication was always a key part in the team and now there was none. Mcgee and Gibbs watched Kate step from her desk and placed her palms on Tony's desk.

"What's going on with you?" She almost shouted.

Tony opened up a folder and put some papers in there. It was the report he'd been working on and rolled the tongue around in his mouth as he continued ignoring her. The action was completely easy.

"What have I done?" She asked.

Tony stood up and walked over to Gibbs placing the file down before making his way back to the desk. Kate moved in for an intercept. Mcgee had been watching the two agents' exchange and was surprised to see Tony shoulder past Kate.

Gibbs decided that that had gone far enough. "Agent Todd… Go down to the truck and make sure it's geared up."

Kate thought she was being punished for some reason. "But Gibbs," She whined.

Gibbs eyed her down and she soon was double timing it down to the garage. Then the stare's direction was concentrated to Tony. "Well?" Gibbs asked.

"I'm just being the coldhearted womanizer everyone expects me to be." Tony said in a way that made Mcgee look up from his computer. It wasn't often that Tony spoke to Gibbs in that tone.

"So are you going to ignore Kate forever?" Gibbs asked thinking how juvenile his senior agent could be.

"Maybe," Tony didn't make eye contact with Gibbs. "What am I suppose to do? I care about people… And I'm not that damn coldhearted that she thinks I am!"

"Mcgee!" Out of the corner of his eye he could see Mcgee stand to attention. "Go and see Ducky about the final autopsy results."

"Ah, yes Boss." Mcgee walked briskly out of the bullpen to the elevator.

The soul searching glare from Gibbs eventually broke through the DiNozzo Barrier and Tony made eye contact.

"I just can't stand having to go through this all the time. I'm not that coldhearted and people shouldn't see me that way." Tony stood up until he was eye level with Gibbs. "I'm not like that."

Gibbs knew the look in his senior field agent's eyes. It only occurred after a taxing case and it was well known that this case had hit Tony personally, and when Tony was like this it was near impossible to talk to him rationally.

"Get out of here," Gibbs ordered. "Come back when you're ready to talk to Kate."

Tony grabbed his bag and walked out the door without speaking.

Tony needed to drown himself. It's only been a couple of days and he missed Bobby dearly and wondered if the kid was alright. Was he happy? Was he being treated right? There were so many questions. He drove himself to the Mandalorian Bar which was his favorite haunt when he needed a few drinks. The bartender began pouring him drinks one after the other.

"Tough day?" Stephen the bartender asked.

"You can say that." Tony answered.

"I thought I'd find you here," Abby sat down next to him. "I think everyone on the floor heard the commotion and with everything that went on this was the second place I looked for you."

"Really?" Tony had trouble keeping his words from slurring. "Well welcome to hell." He said referring to anything of a radius around him. "You wanna drink Abbs." Tony asked.

"Sure." She didn't want him to drink alone. "I'll have a couple."

An hour later… They were both halfway to being totally plastered. Each time they ordered a drink, the bartender eyed them suspiciously as he thought when would be a good time to cut them off.

"What's this about Tony?" Abby was laughing at something that was on the TV.

"What am I about? Isn't that why you're here?" Tony asked which was barely audible. "Fathers are suppose to be there to protect their kids right? That's what they do in the movies. Instead, what do we have? Fathers who beat their kids and think there's nothing wrong with it," Tony banged the empty glass down.

"There are some good ones out there." Abby slurred.

Tony scoffed. If there were, they were definitely few and far between. "If I ever become father, I'd never hurt my kids… Never! You know what? I'd ask them what they wanted to do with their lives. I would. I wouldn't force them to become NCIS just because I was," He rested his head in his hands for a moment.

"Tony," Abby said. "You'd be a great daddy."

That sounded odd coming from someone. Daddy Dearest never said he'd be good at anything. "Daddy wanted me to go to military school and go into the army as soon as I was old enough. I didn't want to… I told him no! I said I didn't want to go that way." Tony only took a breather to have another shooter. He didn't even care what he was drinking now. "I was twelve years old."

Abby put her arm around his shoulders and rested her head there.

"DiNozzo's join the army he said. Teaches them discipline and gives them the foundation to take over the family business. Discipline… I didn't want to think about the army I was just twelve I didn't want to think about my future." Tony fell silent.

"Then what?" Abby prodded him.

"Daddy Dearest gave me one last chance. I didn't take it and I had a week to gather some clothes and he gave me a handful of money and didn't even say goodbye," Tony laughed a forced out laugh. "You know… People have been after me for that answer for years. I was disowned because I wouldn't follow my father's footsteps."

"Well you wanted to be your own person," Abby ran her fingers through his hair.

"And that's why I can never tell Gibbs the full story," Tony said. "It doesn't matter how many times I want to I never can," His eyes widened. He'd just spilt his guts to someone who was very close to Gibbs. "You can't tell him. He's a marine he'd disown me to… God, he'd kick me off the team."

"He won't do that," Abby said refusing anymore drinks that were offered to them.

Tony didn't share the same enthusiasm. Gibbs had marine blood in his veins and would never look at Tony the same way if he found out. Nobody seemed to understand that and why would they? He's spent all his time at NCIS living up to Gibbs and trying not to disappoint him… But he'd already disappointed him way before they ever met.

"You can't tell him." Tony pleaded. "He'd hate me."

"He won't hate you," Abby told him as they stumbled out of The Mandalorian. "But I promise I won't tell him. But I think you need to talk to him. You should."

"And that'll be the last time Gibbs and I ever speak," Tony said. "I don't want that."

He seemed much happier at that promise and they both sat in the cab for the ride to Tony's apartment and Abby was about to go her separate way by staggering drunkenly down the street.

"Stay…" Tony said. "I think if I let you get home by yourself, Gibbs would kill me. Come stay the night."

That didn't receive many arguments from Abby who was laughing at something by the time he fumbled to get the key into the lock. Spending the night with Abby had become a regular occurrence and they often slept in the same bed together. They found nothing odd with that. Whenever he was with Abby, everything seemed to be right with the world. Well almost anything. Before falling asleep he'd got plenty of water ready since they'd need it in the morning and the next morning he'd go and do his team duty and talk to Kate.

A/N: I don't usually ask for feedback on a story… But I've been debating whether or not to extend this into a multichapter fic.