Oh, no. Don't make me upload!

"Ugh,"

I roll onto my stomach and sigh, chin resting on a fist.

Now what?

If I've asked once, I've asked a million times. And still, no answer. No answers, no ideas. No way to get her back. Not even a glimmer of hope.

Our plan —mine and Becky's— had been going well. Courtney was beyondjealous, and was about to cave. I knew it. The look in her eyes said everything. She wanted me, she missed me. And I was so close to finally, finally getting her back. Finally getting to be with her, no more games, no more plans— when, in a matter of seconds, everything was incinerated.

Picture square one. Now, take a step back. That's where I am.

So it makes sense that I'm frustrated, it makes sense that I'm angry. Everything seems so… pointless now. Earlier, I'd had a chance. It was small and near pathetic, yeah, but it was something. And now…

Letting my head drop on the soft surface of my comforter, I clench my hands into fists and grit my teeth.

It may be childish to say, but—

"This isn't fair!"

I want her more than anyone could imagine. I need her. And even though I've tried and tried… nothing. I'm left with absolutely nothing! I had been so close… if only I hadn't…

No, I won't go there again.

You'd think that the worst part is knowing that I tried, tried and failed. Or that I'd had the opportunity to make everything right, and didn't take it. But really, it's not. What's making this so difficult is that I've worked so hard and now, there's nothing I can do. I can't make Courtney change her mind. She's too stubborn to be persuaded, and ignoring her won't work now. Everything's out of my hands, beyond my control. And that alone is driving me insane.

A sound catches my attention, and my eyes flick up curiously. I wait a moment, and it comes again.

Interested, I stand and frown, waiting.

"Arg!"

My heart revs.

I race over to the window and open it, taking out the screen as well. A cool breeze rolls in, and I glance down. There's a feeling of shock that hangs still in the air for a moment, until it is broken with words.

"Well, don't just stand there. Help me up!"

Hanging for dear life on the short ledge of my window is Courtney. Her face is flushed, and she looks at me urgently.

"If I fall and die, it won't bode well for you either, you know!"

There's really no arguing with that.

I grab onto Courtney's forearm and pull her through. She tumbles to her feet, straightens, and looks me in the eye defiantly.

And for a long minute, neither of us says anything.

There are too many things I want to say…

I love you. I want you. I need you.

"Why didn't you use the front door?"

I decide to take on the easiest first.

She draws her eyebrow together and the corners of her lips curve down. "I didn't want you to get in trouble with your parents, I guess."

"They've got the late shift tonight." I say with a little smile. "Not that I don't appreciate your rule-breaking for me. What brings you here so late?"

Courtney scowls, warning me not to push it. And I'm reminded that even though she's here, that doesn't mean she's mine yet. We still aren't on great terms.

But I grin anyway.

What does this mean for us? Does she want to get back together? Is she here to prove a point?

"I wanted to talk to you," she tells me, crossing her arms importantly.

She's here. She's here.

"Oh?" I muse, raising an eyebrow and playing dumb. "'Bout what?"

Yeah, that was pushing it.

"If you don't want me to be here, I'll just leave." She growls, pushing past me and heading for the bedroom door.

Sh—

"No— just, come on. Don't go. I was kidding."

Hand poised on the knob, she turns to me and snaps, "Look, I'm taking this seriously. If you won't, then there's no point in even trying." Her eyes have narrowed, and I find myself clinging.

"I am taking this seriously! I just, well, I don't know…" Her eyebrow spikes, and I rush to convince her. "Don't go. Please. You can't leave. Not yet."

Her hand slips from its position, and I exhale the breath I'd been holding in.

Courtney's hands sit on her hips as she stares, eyes stern, and waits. And for a moment, I wait too— for what, I'm not sure. But then, it dawns on me. She's here, standing expectantly in the middle of my bedroom, at one in the morning, breaking a number of rules— all to give me a second chance. This is it. She's giving me an opportunity, a way to make it all right. And suddenly, I'm elated.

But a second later, another thought comes to mind.

By the way— if you screw up, you'll hate yourself to no extent, and so will she.

My excitement deflates like a balloon.

I've never been good with expectations.

I'm racking my brain for something to say. Something, anything. But my mind has gone blank, there's nothing. My mouth hangs open mutely, and I feel like an idiot.

Making up has never been my strong point.

Dating had been a pretty shallow activity for me. Before Courtney, that is— she changed the rules, somehow. Casual relationships were so much easier, so much more convenient. You hook up, break up, and move on. Now that, that I'm good at. But this whole touchy-feely crap is out of my comfort zone. It's abnormal, to say the least, and something I usually don't want to be a part of. Yet with Courtney, it's a whole different thing. There's something about her that makes me want to grab hold and never let go. I just want to be around her, be with her. I want something more than late-night hookups, I want something real. And though I'm just winging it, and I'm not sure if I'm right, I know what to do.

"I'm sorry."

Eye roll.

"That probably means nothing to you, but I am. And look, I've done things I shouldn't and said things I shouldn't but the bottom line, babe—"

She narrows her eyes, and I sigh.

"The bottom line is that I love you, and that's not going to change."

Courtney steps to her side and perches on the very edge of my bed, biting the inside of her cheek. The annoyance has faded from her eyes, but otherwise, it doesn't look as though anything has improved.

"Oh."

I feel everything inside of me drain.

'Oh'?

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Now it's my turn to wait, as she sits and stares at the floor with thought. Finally, after a span of killer silence, her voice picks up.

"We can't, Duncan."

Huh? What? No, no. I don't think so. This isn't anywhere near the end.

I have worked too hard, for too long to let this go on account of a few stupid mistakes that I made. It might be a long shot, but I've never been one to let go of a good opportunity when I see it. And this, this is my chance. I'm not about to let it slip through my fingers.

So I flop beside her, leaning back on my palms. "You think so?"

Nope. I won't let it happen.

"Yes!" She exclaims finally, as though she has given up on any hope of keeping her feelings inside, jumping from her spot and turning to me. Courtney isn't angry, I know, she's just…

Frustrated.

"We can't! Don't you get it? We're so dysfunctional… we don't have anything in common… my parents would flip if they knew I were here. And every time things start to get better… it turns right around and I end up in a worse state than ever! Things get so messed— we get so messed up. I just can't deal with all the drama… and it's too hard. Do you really want to deal with all of this? Can you even imagine what kind of couple we'd make? Look at us! It won't work. I'm not getting into a relationship like this… I'm not going to do it because of impulse, I'm not like that. There needs to be a foundation and— we haven't even been on a real date yet! We haven't gone out to dinner and a movie, or gone through all the steps! This isn't how a relationship is supposed to go… Duncan, this isn't right. We can't just skip everything… I just… this—"

She stops, and catches her breath. Courtney looks at me, and I know she's close to collapsing. It's as though she's needs only one more tug, one more push, one more reason for us not to be together— and she would crack.

And then, breaking the quiet, I start to laugh.

It isn't a loud, mocking cackle; it's more like a smile that was a bit too overrun with satisfaction. Because now I know. Now I understand. And now, I know what I can do.

Her eyes flash, and she bares her teeth a little bit. "This isn't funny."

"That's why? That's why you think this won't work? Courtney, that's why it will."

A look of confusion crosses her features. "Excuse me?"

I take her hand and pull her to sit down by my side again, never taking my eyes off of hers. "The reason we're so messed up is because we aren't together."

Courtney drops beside me and, my point not yet clear, shakes her head slowly. "What are you talking about? That doesn't make any sense."

"It does," I tell her, and explain. "It drives me insane that I'm so close to being with you, but I'm not. I know you're the same way. The whole argument you're having with yourself is because we aren't together. And, like you constantly remind me, we were never 'dating', yet we always have problems. Have you ever thought that maybe that's why? I'm tired of playing this guessing game— don't you think it'd be a lot easier if we gave being together a shot?"

Her mouth falls open, and I know she's trying to come up with a retort. But a moment passes, and she shuts it.

Tipping over the edge… my heart is pounding like a drum, I'm almost there. She's almost there.

"I really do love you. I have for a while."

Then, something springs to my mind.

I stretch across my bed and pull open my bedside table drawer, drawing something out.

"Thought you might want this back," I say, sitting back up and showing Courtney the object in my palm. Her tense shoulders seem to droop. "You don't have to take it if you don't want to, though."

The skull sits, rather menacingly, and waits to be taken back by its rightful owner. How this thing could have a kind of sentiment value to it is anyone's guess. But right now, it means more than I can say.

Her fingers are twitching, and for a moment, I want nothing more than to beg her to take it. It isn't my choice, though, it's hers.

But a minutes passes, then another, and I know she won't take it.

My entire body seems to go slack.

I stare at the horrid thing, and feel as though I could go to sleep and never wake up. Like everything in the world could just stop, and I wouldn't care. As if I were living my last hour and—

The warm feel of her hand as it brushes against mine suddenly comes to my attention. Courtney lifts the skull out of my grip and places it on her lap. And though it's the smallest of movement, the tiniest of acts, it means the most.

My eyes raise, but hers are on the skull. She turns it between her hands and runs over the sketchy surface of the wood with her fingers.

"You could have carved a heart, a rose, a bird or something. But no, it just had to be a skull."

Is this happening?

Courtney meets my gaze now, and I feel as though I might float away, I feel so light. And I watch as she leans closer, feeling my heart nearly stop beating. And then—

Her lips press against mine, and a cool rush falls down my spine. I press closer, wanting to be with her entirely, and deepen the kiss. And there's this overwhelming sensation that has simply flourished, something I've been waiting for. But, it's the returned pressure that's making my body ache to be near her. So I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her to me, sealing any space between us. I can't imagine ever being apart.

The feeling is cut short as Courtney draws back, taking in a breath as well.

"I shouldn't be here."

"But you are." I tell her, brushing back the hair from her eyes.

"I have work in the morning." She says, trying to pull away. "And my parents are going to kill me. Oh my God, what was I thinking? I'm here! In your room! In the middle of the night!" Courtney gasps, as if her actions are only dawning on her now. "I can't believe I—"

I press my lips to hers, holding them there until the words seem to dissolve.

Pulling away, the look in her eyes indicates a struggle

"Just shut up and relax. You owe me for all I've been through."

Her features contort as she frowns. "I don't owe you anything. Besides, I think I've been through more than you have."

"Maybe, maybe not." I whisper temptingly, drawing her closer and feeling her fingertips as they press against my shoulder. "But that can be your excuse for not leaving." The corners of her lips twitch, and she sighs.

"I hate you."

"I think we've established that, in fact, you love me."

She spikes a brow, and pokes me hard in the chest. "I think you're confused. I haven't said I love you since—" she stops, and, figuring it would be best, doesn't finish. "And that was by accident. So really, it's like I haven't even said it yet."

I'm about to respond, remind her that she loves me, that I know she does, when her lips brush against mine.

"But no worries," she whispers, her eyelashes brushing against my cheeks as she closes her eyes. They feel soft.

"I do."

And when I kiss her this time, I know she won't pull away.

Courtney's POV

When I fade out of deep sleep, it's a drowsy, simple calculation that comes to mind.

Boy, girl. Together. Happy.

I smile into my pillow, grabbing a fistful of sheets and squeezing my eyes tight. I picture Duncan crawling through my window just now, grinning and shuffling over to my side. A warm feeling pools in the middle of my stomach, and I open an eye to see if I might, hopefully, notice him on the other side of the glass. But I'm disappointed, snapping my eye back shut, as there is only darkness.

Darkness?

I groan and twist over to my other side to try and fall back to sleep. It's a minute before I realize what the air pressing against my skin is. My eyes fly open, and I produce an ear-splitting shriek, bolting up in bed.

"Powerful vocals for someone who just woke up," Duncan muses with a little smile as he presses deeper into the cushy bed. My voice is tight.

"What— what— what am I doing here?"

Before he answers, I shift my gaze down to my torso, and sigh in relief. I'm fully dressed. Except— "Where are my shoes?"

"By the nightstand. I took them off after you fell asleep."

I breath in shallowly, my heart pounding. I remember last night… we'd talked for a while, and then… I just fell asleep. That's all. Nothing more. Nothing happened. "Oh, okay, then. I should probably—"

But Duncan had obviously been expecting this, as I'm not even halfway through my sentence when he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me to him. A shot of butterflies runs through my stomach.

"I shouldn't…"

I won't let myself finish. I can't. It's too warm.

Settling back down into the sheets, I press myself against him. Duncan lips form a smile on the back of my neck.

I don't care what I say. I'm loving this.

…

No way to respond, huh? Well, I suppose not. It's undeniable, and I know it. This is what I want. This is what makes me happy. This is—

Shut up! I'm trying to listen to his breathing!

…Am I actually agreeing with myself now?

Well, I mean, it isn't as though this is pointless… I mean, I love him. Is there a problem with that? I'm allowed to do what I want, anyway. And… this is what I want.

Yeah… I love him.

Mm…

"Mm…"

Duncan chuckles, and it sends a shiver down my spine.

"Cold?" He asks, knowing full well that I am not.

"Duncan… you know I have to go…"

He grins. "No, you can just stay here. Stay here forever. We'll never move."

I smile at the childish concept. "I don't think I could do that."

Duncan snickers and starts to nip my shoulder lightly. "Aw, but you know you want to…"

"Regardless, I have to go."

And though he tries to stop me, I stretch, sitting up, and reach to slip my shoes back on. Standing, I lean over and place a kiss on his cheek, before smiling regrettably and walking through the door.

"Hey, Court!"

A hand grabs my wrist before I take a single step in the hall, and I whip back.

"No. Duncan, I'm sorry, but I need to—"

"Did you drive?"

My eyebrows draw together and I frown. "What? No. I didn't want to wake my parents up with the sound of the engine. Why do you—"

His eyes flicker, and I sigh.

"I'm never going to be able to get rid of you, am I?"

Duncan gives me a smirk, and grasps my other, pulling me closer.

"No, I don't think so."

"Duncan— seriously— I mean it. I've really got to— Look, the sun's almost up!"

I point desperately to the budding light behind him, but Duncan doesn't take the bait, pushing me closer against the front door to my house.

"I mean, really. This is ridiculous. You had all night. And you know that I don't want to get in trouble with my parents. And besides, you—" But I stop, and my eyelashes flutter at a sudden feeling. A small, girlish giggle escapes my lips, and it draws me back to reality. "No, Duncan, stop it. I swear, will break up with you."

He pulls back —finally— and frowns slightly. "No. You wouldn't."

Spiking an eyebrow, I tease him. "Well, maybe I would."

And it's weird, because he doesn't play along. Instead, Duncan tightens his grip around me, and whispers in my ear. "No, you won't. Because you're promising me right now. I don't want to break up again. So promise me you won't. Promise?"

I bite my lower lip softly, trying to hold in a smile. I just… never would have thought we'd have made it this far. But then, considering how often I find myself hating him, it's surprising that we made it anywhere at all.

"I promise," I tell him whole-heartedly. "We won't break up ever again. Happy?"

Duncan presses his forehead against mine, the most sincere smile I think I've ever seen him sport slipping onto his lips. "Yeah."

And I don't know what's going to happen next, today or tomorrow, and I don't know how far we'll go from here. But for once, I'm just happy to live in the moment.

"Never again."

C: Well, that's done.

Me: Complete!

C: Uh, Duncan…?

Me: Oh, wow. Are you crying?

D: *sniffling* What? No! Of course not! I'm just… really happy for Story Duncan and Courtney. And… I was, uh, cutting onions.

C: Where are the onions now, then?

D: I… ate them?

Me: Ri-ight…

Sorry for my poor updating skills, I just couldn't garner the nerve to end this story. I might get all sappy, but the truth is before this story I actually hated writing. It was kind of a chore. And now, well, it's what I live for. I feel as though I've improved so much since the very first chapter, and I'm pretty proud of a lot of the things I've written.

So, I just want to say thank you. For reading, reviewing, glazing over dully… whatever. You guys really inspired me and I really appreciate all of your support. Sob, I can't believe this is finished! It's been over a year. That's insane for me, considering how I usually lose determination after a couple weeks of doing something.

And they lived happily ever after.

Ech, well, sort of.