A/N

Christmas is quite awhile away, so I'm not sure exactly why the idea to adapt the poem The Night Before Christmas into a Futurama equivalent struck me when it did. Still, with the insanity of a robot Santa living on a Neptune that somehow has a solid surface, I guess the random is to be expected.

The Night Before Xmas

'Twas the night before Xmas,

And all across Earth,

Not a creature was sleeping,

Or expecting mirth.

...

Positions were taken,

At the chimney and stairs,

In the fear that dear Santa,

Would soon be there.

...

Children sniffled and huddled,

And sat on their beds.

Trying but failing

To suppress their dread.

...

Some parents took naps,

While others took nips.

But in the end prepared,

Their ray gun clips.

...

Suddenly, the sound

Of explosions and clatter.

Courtesy of bombs carrying

Pure anti-matter.

...

The windows were boarded,

The Christmas tree flashed.

Despite valour, the defenders

Sought not one red sash.

...

The moon casts its light,

On New New York's snow.

The stars in the sky reflecting

Fires below.

...

In a sleigh made of metal,

Drawn by robotic deer,

Came Santa the Evil,

The source of Earth's fear.

...

More rapid than starships,

His destruction came.

No-one opposed him,

His terror could reign.

...

Only by morning,

Did he away fly.

Leaving Earth's orbit

For fair Neptune's sky.

...

Xmas was celebrated,

Joy replacing fear.

But as we all knew,

He'd be back next year.