A/N: I take no credit for the idea, this was infact Panny's … I have merely adopted it with her permission.

This was written for the always fabulous WeasleyForMe. Happy Birthday my darling life partner.

Special thanks to Mistymist for reading over some of the initial drafts and JackMyles for the beta read!

The Not So Secret Back Room

Hermione bit her lip and walked up to the bright purple and yellow building, squaring her shoulders and attempting to look casual as she brushed past the displays by the door. She cringed when a chain of bells, starting at the door and ringing all the way toward the front counter, were set off, but almost slumped in relief when nobody emerged to serve her, unlike the three days before hand.

Taking a furtive look around she found only an old wizard examining every inch of the muggle magic trick displays in the corner and a young mother on the other side of the room, picking out a purple pygmy puff, to be the only occupants of the room. Casting her eyes around the cluttered joke shop once more, she darted as stealthily as one with that grace of a hippogriff could toward the curtained back room.

Heart pounding and brow sweating, she made it to the orange curtain with only a trick wand and a display of skiving snack boxes as casualties of her not so ninja like abilities. Breathing a sigh of relief she reached for the curtain with one last glance around and ducked in.

She didn't make it far before she was knocked back on her behind, landing with a small shriek. Who would have known that a wall of solid muscle would have been just on the other side of that forbidden curtain? Not Hermione, that was for sure.

"Are you okay?" George chuckled, holding his hand out and helping her up from the floor. Blushing she looked down and smoothed her ruffled violet robes.

"Fine," she squeaked, unable to look the tall red head in the eye. This situation had gone from embarrassing to death wish status within several heart beats.

"Can I help you with anything today, Hermione, or is this just a social visit?" he asked, his tone still teasing. She wished they could have been having this conversation anywhere else. Having George know she was interested in … that she wanted to buy … well, she couldn't even think of her reasons for being there, it was too mortifying.

"Um … I was just, you know, looking," she stuttered, her gaze glued to the tiled floor of the suddenly too hot room.

"Okay, I will leave you to it then." He grinned as she glanced up him and she could tell he was trying not to laugh. Hermione watched as he turned his back to her, continuing on with whatever he had been doing before she had barged in to the secret curtained off back room of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes that was really not such a secret.

Clearing her throat several times, she gathered her courage and began to look around in curiosity. After all, Fred and George must be used to people viewing the adults only part of their store by now, it was infamous across the country. Who would have thought that the Weasley Twins would become known far and wide for bringing sexual fulfillment to the magical population?

She approached the wall to her left, opposite where George stood re-stocking a high shelf, and examined the hundreds of pigeon holes filled with tiny vials, all carefully labeled. At first she thought them to be aromatherapy oils but on closer inspection she realized they were all listed as home remedies.

"Cough syrup?" she questioned out loud, unable to work out why these were even in the store, let alone how they had earned a place in the room full of sex toys.

"To the untrained eye," George replied, stepping off the small ladder he had conjured and approaching her. Hermione blushed at his choice of words but her curiosity got the better of her as he came and turned the bottle around to show her the back, "It's a simple spell that Fred came up with. You have to know what it is for it to reveal its true nature."

Hermione watched as the words on the bottle began to wriggle around and change places and shapes in the palm of George's hand until it no longer said 'Cough Be Gone' but 'Tingle Me Softly'.

"Oh, that's rather clever," she exclaimed.

"It's great for playing pranks as well," George grinned. "Fred and I changed all the labels on Ginny's toiletries before she went back to Hogwarts last summer, sorry we missed the look on her face when she tried to use her shampoo and it turned out to be nail polish remover." He sighed wistfully.

"I'm glad I missed that drama," Hermione muttered, taking the bottle from George's hand and reading the label more closely. Discovering that the bottle contained oil that made it feel like a thousand hands were touching you upon application was enough for her to put it down. Picking up the next one she handed it to him, her curiosity piqued.

"What does this one do?" she asked quickly, leaning in to watch what the bottle would reveal.

"This one is a simple cleanser; the bottles label just becomes a bit more … explicit." He cleared his throat which caused Hermione to look up. She found that he had turned as red as she had been earlier and it perplexed her; what in the last few moments had made George embarrassed?

Her answer came when he shifted backwards slightly and she realized her chest had been tightly pressed against his arm. She quickly spun back to the wall and moved along the pigeon holes to where neat piles of rolled parchment were stacked.

"And what are these?" she asked, attempting to sound casual and probably failing miserably.

"Spell and Potion instructions to enhance intimacy," George answered from close behind her.

"Oh … and this?" she asked, picking up a small pink egg from another shelf, determined to make this whole situation seem very casual.

"It vibrates," he replied, taking it from her hand and tapping it with his wand.

"What's so special about that? Muggles have had that sort of thing for ages," she asked, eyeing the small vibrating egg as it writhed happily in his palm.

"That's where we got the idea, but this one can sense things."

"Like what?" she asked, plucking another egg from the shelf and tapping it with her wand, testing it for herself.

"Ah, like the pace and strength and when you are about to …" he let the sentence hang as they both flushed in embarrassment.

"Oh right, um, right … that is a little different from the muggle version isn't it, then?" she giggled nervously, busying her hands by toying with her wand and looking anywhere but at the older man.

"We have a whole range in different shapes and sizes," he pointed out, now rubbing his hand against the back of his neck. Hermione gave a nod and moved on to the other side of the room where magical candles and even more vials containing different gels and spells were held. There was an odd assortment of gold instruments that she was too afraid to ask what they did and even a whole rack of costumes and dragon hide clothing.

"Do you sell a lot of these?" she asked, flicking through the latex and silk, pulling out a maids outfit and holding it against her body, critically assessing her reflection in the full length mirror.

"Mostly through our catalogues, but people still like to come in and try before they buy. A lot of that stuff is cut to measure since you practically have to be sewn into some of them," he replied with a gulp, looking her body up and down.

"Oh," Hermione answered, slipping the outfit back onto the rack and turning away from her redder than usual refection, trying not to look George in the eye now.

The next thing along happened to be what she suspected any muggle adult store would look like. The large majority of the wall was taken up by hooks displaying colorful and often crude packets containing every shape and material dildo one would ever expect to see in a place of this nature.

"That's our muggle line – a lot of witches and wizards find it kinky to go non-magical," George explained. Hermione's eyebrows shot up in disbelief, she had never even considered that aspect of role play to come about, but she supposed by now George had heard and researched it all.

"Right, well I don't think I am interested in any of that," she said almost primly, taking a deep breath.

"What are you interested in?" George asked, dipping his head to meet her in the eye.

Her face was burning so hot now she was sure it would catch fire any moment, "Well you see, ah, I'm not … well the thing is-"

"Come on Hermione, this is the fourth day in a row you have come in here and not bought anything," he told her, revealing at the same time that her presence hadn't gone unknown.

"I know," she whispered, looking down at their feet.

"What are you up to?"

"What makes you think I am up to something? I could just be one of those people who take a long time to make up their mind," she shrugged.

"Do I look like the type of person who believes everything their told?" George asked sarcastically, laughing at her attempt to evade his question.

"Well, no, you don't," she replied quickly.

"Then tell me why you keep coming here. If it's not for the products, then it must be for something else?"

"Well, not exactly. I mean, I have become very interested in some of the things you have invented – they are quite frankly fascinating achievements; but you're right, it's not why I am here," she acknowledged quickly, not quite believing she was about to admit one of her deepest darkest secrets.

"Then why?" he encouraged, using his finger to tilt her chin up, forcing her once again to meet his eyes rather than his shoes.

"You," she whispered simply.

His slow answering smile did nothing for her frazzled nerves, nor did the fact that he was now leaning dangerous close to her face.

"Please, don't tease me," she breathed, afraid he was going to pull away at any moment and run off into the front of the store to shout her confession.

"No jokes here," he replied softly before his lips touched hers. She sighed into the simple contact, wishing with all her heart this didn't turn out to be some cruel dream.

"George, I-" she started.

"Tomorrow night, dinner upstairs? Fred's going out with some witch he met down at the Leaky Cauldron and I have nobody to cook for," he gave her his winning grin and she was lost.

"I'd love that," she said, pulling away before things got even more carried away.

Grinning like an idiot, she turned quickly for the door but stopped when he called her name. Turning around she found him standing at the shelves that housed the vibrating eggs.

"On the house," he said, tossing the palm sized pink object at her, which twitched happily upon contact with her skin.

"I'll let you know how it goes," she said boldly before practically skipping out of the store. Things couldn't have turned out more perfect.

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