Author note: #1 I apologize for never updating this story in a timely fashion (It's been what, 5 years since the Singing was released?) #2 I would certainly change quite a few things about this story if I had the time and energy, but alas I do not. #3 With that being said, here is what my mind managed to spit out #4 I hope the fact that this chapter is (very) long makes up for it in some form. #5 If not and it's just drivel, feel free to yell at me and see #2.

Happy reading - Eleve

~oOoOo~

I count no more my wasted tears;
They left no echo of their fall;
I mourn no more my lonesome years;
This hour atones for all.
I fear not all that Time or Fate
May bring to burden heart or brow —
Strong in the love that came so late,
Our souls shall keep it now!

~Excerpt from 'The Journey of the Maid of Innail'

~oOoOo~

Cadvan hurried her through many hallways, not slowing until they reached his room. He quickly shut the door behind them, and set his back against it. "By the Light," he gasped. He hurt and ached all over. His legs trembled a little as he stood. "I didn't think that would go well..."

Maerad scanned his face, which was as pale as bleached linen. "Cadvan."

His response came with effort. "Forgive me, Maerad. I will tell you what happened, but first I must rest. You should leave..."

"Of course I will not leave you," she said sharply, looking directly at him. His eyes were haunted, red with exhaustion; the skin underneath them appeared bruised, and she thought she saw him flinch when she spoke. "You look terrible. Have you been injured?"

He shrugged, wobbling slightly as he stood up straight. He staggered a few feet forward before Maerad took action and grabbed his arm. She helped him to his bed, where he let himself collapse."You should not help me, Maerad. Not in your condition."

"I should get a Healer, Cadvan," Maeread replied. She watched helplessly as he struggled to position himself more comfortably on the bed. "For you, not for myself. Something is wrong, and you are not telling me what it is."

He blinked several times, as if to clear his vision, but finally gave up and closed his eyes. He shook his head slightly, wincing as the movement caused him pain. He bit his lip to avoid cursing. "I doubt there is a Healer in Annar that can help me at the moment. I feel as if my mind has been splayed open."

"Your mind splayed open?" Maerad questioned. "By what means?"

"As a means to an end," Cadvan said curtly. He didn't elaborate on what he meant.

Maerad felt an uneasy feeling sink into the pit of her stomach; something told her their battle against what had happened wasn't quite over.

~oOoOo~

A long time passed as Maerad sat there, listening to his breathing. Cadvan's body shook with tremors, even though the room was comfortably warm, and his face was drawn with weariness. Her anxiety had risen to the point where she was about to leave to find help when she heard the door close. She turned and saw that it was Silvia and Malgorn.

"Maerad," Silvia spoke quietly. The blonde haired woman opened her arms wide, in a gesture for Maerad to come to her.

"Silvia," Maerad replied, moving to meet her in the middle of the room. Malgorn nodded in greeting as he walked by, towards Cadvan.

"My dear girl," Silvia said. The woman gently stroked Maerad's cheek with her hand. "I am so relieved that you spoke up to the Council, and even more so that Cadvan will not have to face punishment for his mistake. Enough suffering has occured."

"But he is suffering, Silvia - He barely made it to his bed before he collapsed!" Maerad exclaimed before she began to sob into Silvia's shoulder. Silvia pulled her closer. "So much has happened, Silvia. Too much. I fear that neither Cadvan or I will return to the people we were before this happened. It's as if we are broken. And it truly is my fault. Had I not gone to Nenn, he would not be in this condition and neither would I."

Malgorn cleared his throat as if he'd been waiting to speak the entire time. "Maerad, listen," he said. He had taken Maerad's place by Cadvan's side; worry scoured his face. "This isn't your fault. He is not broken, although his mind has certainly been weakened by what transpired. He feels distant somehow..."

Maerad noted that despite Malgorn and Silvia's entrance into the room and their conversation, Cadvan had still not awakened.

She pulled away from Silvia. "Does this involve the flash of light I saw in the Council chamber?" She sniffed and wiped her tears away.

Malgorn sucked in a deep breath. "Yes, I think it does. In part, at least. The light you saw was from a spell cast between Cadvan and I."

"A spell for what?"

Silvia spoke up before her husband. "Cadvan allowed Malgorn to scry him this morning. We believed that the Bards of the Council would accept our word in what he saw. However, you saw their reaction. It was not what we had expected."

Maerad's eyes widened. "Then he must be in terrible pain…to not only have been scryed this morning but again by an entire room of Bards!"

"The spell cleared the minds of those who would wish you ill. To them, it shall feel as if a good resolution was struck, and they will think no further on the matter."

"He is still in pain, regardless of what was done," Maerad frowned, not convinced by Silvia's attempt to make her feel better about the situation. Cadvan was naturally a private person, one that drew him away from human contact. There were still parts of him that she didn't understand, depths and passions within him that she had only glimpsed in their time spent traveling together. What he had been forced to do in order to get through the Council, in order to protect her and himself made her 'd seen Cadvan weakened like this once before, after their battle with the Wight; thankfully Nelac had been able to help him before it was too late. But Nelac wasn't here, and Cadvan hadn't battled a Wight. This had been a different battle entirely.

She looked him over again, but only his stillness betrayed the hurt that lingered within him, an unspoken sadness and grief that boiled inside. And in an instant, she could feel that searing pain pulsating with every beat of his heart. His mind had been overburdened; the scrying and the spell that was cast had simply been too much, even for a Bard like Cadvan.

"He needs rest," Malgorn admitted. "At least he has found it. I will try to mend what I can of his mind while he does so."

Malgorn paused, seemingly to examine Maerad and how she was reacting to the situation. "You need some as well, Maerad. Your health has certainly improved, but you should take care not to over exert yourself."

Maerad's gaze moved from Silvia to Malgorn. The First Bard was certainly a capable healer. He knew what he was doing, and knew exactly how to help his friend. But something inside of her cried out when Malgorn began to prepare himself for his task, when he began to glow faintly as he called upon his magery.

"Stop," Maerad spoke loudly, shocking herself with the conviction of her voice. "I mean," she said in a quieter tone. "I need to be the one to help him."

"What?" Silvia said, lifting an eyebrow. She placed a gentle hand on Maerad's shoulder. "You are not yet strong enough. You haven't been trained in this type of healing."

"I've survived the last year with hardly any training. Surely I can do this," Maerad replied, her voice cracking with urgency. "Especially for Cadvan."

Silvia shot Malgorn a worried glance. "You know the dangers of using magery without training. It can lead to disaster."

Malgorn sighed and looked away, rubbing his forehead with two fingers. He looked uncertain for a brief moment, before he stood and gestured for Maerad to take his place. "As you wish then, lady."

"Malgorn, she can't possibly - "

The First Bard held his hand up. "Silvia, I think Maerad is right in this. My Knowing tells me that her connection with Cadvan will allow her to help him in places we cannot. And surely, when he feels her presence, might be able to assist her and mending her own scars."

"It is dangerous," Silvia said again, taking a step towards them. "Not to mention Cadvan would not approve of her attempting such a task, given that she is mentally exhausted herself."

Silvia stared gravely at Maerad, who looked down, feeling foolish. She continued, "I do not want you to make a rash choice, Maerad. The risk is very great, and it will be harder than you now think. Malgorn can heal him, and then the two of you can talk."

Maerad looked up, and now the passion blazing within her was naked in her eyes. "Silvia, I would not have offered if I didn't feel I needed to do this. For myself. And for Cadvan. I cannot say why - but my Knowing tells me that I should be the one to help him."

There was a pause as Silvia studied Maerad and Cadvan for a few moments. I understand, Maerad wanted to say. Cadvan only revealed part of his mind to me once, and it was difficult to bear, even for him. But I must do this. He is suffering because of me...

"Tell me what I must do," she pleaded.

"Maerad," Malgorn said, his voice quiet but hard. He took his time while speaking. "You must be careful that in your search you do not accidently begin to scry him. It would only injure him further. Instead, you must creep forward with your mind. It will be a long process, but it must be done this way...are you sure you have enough energy to do this? If your Knowing truly tells you that you must do this, we will be here, should you need assistance."

"Yes," Maerad said. "There is no other way. And I must do this alone, with just Cadvan."

Silvia crossed her arms. Her eyes darkened. "I think your concern for Cadvan is overriding your ability to think clearly, Maerad. Cadvan did the same when you were injured, and it only let to more complications."

Malgorn walked a few paces and kissed his wife's forehead, bringing her into an embrace. "My dear, this is totally different. We should not dismiss the ways of the Light out of excessive caution. In our fear, we must not forget the strength that lies in trust. We should trust Maerad in this. She has already accomplished so much...and she will not be alone - Cadvan will be with her, even in his weakened state. Tell me your heart does not agree and we shall stay. But I know that you know Maerad is correct in this."

Silence reigned as if the two were considering something privately in their minds. "My heart wants them to be free of this tragedy," she whispered with such depth that it frightened Maerad. She slowly moved away from Malgorn and walked towards the door. "We love you dearly, Maerad. Even as we did our own daughter. Think not that I doubt you, but I simply wish you would both be more careful."

With that, she exited the room. Stunned by her rapid departure, Maerad looked to Malgorn for an explanation.

"She would not have left if she did not believe you could do this on your own. You must remember, we have already lost a daughter when she disregarded her own safety...we do not wish to lose you as well." A look of sadness painted his face and for a moment, Maerad thought he would change his mind and just heal Cadvan himself.

"You won't lose me, I promise." Maerad's heart skipped a beat. "I might be weakened because of what happened...but I have survived worse things...and I have one of the strongest Bards to help guide me if need be," she added. She hoped it was enought to pursuade Malgorn.

Malgorn conceded, bowing low. "May the Light be with you both then. I hope you are right, Maerad."

Maerad bowed her head in return. She waited until he had left before she focused on Cadvan.

He hadn't moved from where he collapsed on his bed, and their discussion had had no effect on him. A sudden wave of sadness overcame her as she watched him silently, realizing just how much the last month had changed him.

Without thinking, she leaned forward and embraced him tightly. "Oh, Cadvan. What have I put you through?"

She pulled away after a few moments. She thought carefully about what she knew of healing. She was all too conscious of her lack of experience, and partly agreed with Silvia's counsel against her attempt. But she still possessed part of her Elidhu self; it might help her where Bardic Magery faltered. Perhaps somehow it might provide a way of finding where Darkness has embedded itself in his body and in his mind. She certainly believed in her capabilities as a mage, and although she had failed to meld with Cadvan in the past, she was sure this time it would work. This time it is different.

Maerad stood, found Cadvan's pack sitting in a nearby chair, and fumbled through it. As she had guessed, there was a flask of medyl near the bottom. She took a long draught of it and felt the thrill of it travel through her and increase her energy. Well, she thought. Now is as good a time as any.

Without further delay, she hardened her will and sat back down next to Cadvan. She took his hands into hers, studying his face. She took a deep breath, and emptied her mind of anything else but him. She could feel the beat of his heart, a light pulse with a regular rhythm. She scanned his body, sending white fire running along his veins. It was the first test of what she would be facing when she began the healing. Almost immediately, Maerad sensed what Silvia had been worried about - wound in an infinitely complex pattern around his being was a certain darkness that Maerad couldn't explain. It withdrew from the white fire, retreating deeper, although she sensed that it was still there, undiminished.

A sudden nausea flowered in her stomach, the same feeling she had felt in Nenn, and with it came a visceral sense of revulsion and horror, as if she were about to experience it all again. She withdrew her mind and sat for a moment, gasping and sweating with the shock of it, trying to gather her wits together.

She had barely entered Cadvan's mind and it was already bad. Not just from what he had experienced in the last few months. It was years of hurt that was burdening him down.

For a moment, she considered asking Malgorn to do what she obviously could not. But Cadvan stirred, mumbling something incoherent in his sleep and she jumped. She looked for a long moment at her friend's face. She thought of everything Cadvan had done for her, regardless of how impossible it had seemed or how much it had hurt him. "No," she said aloud, pushing away the cold voice inside her that mocked her weakness. "I said I would do this. I said that I would do this, with Cadvan, because I needed to. I will not regret it."

She took a deep breath, picked up Cadvan's hands again, and began the task of healing.

~oOoOo~

For a long time, Maerad only experienced confusion and endless torment, a long, exhausting struggle with the darkness that scarred him. She wrestled the darkness she found in the infinitely tiny byways of his body, only to see it creep back, stronger, more insidious than before. Always before her glided a shadow, haloed by light that she knew was Cadvan, but he grew ever more distant, ever more faint. Why is he running away? Does he not recognize me?

She called out to him, but her voice died on the thick, dark, choking air. She attempted to keep her mind clear, to empty her mind of the pain she felt using parts that were untested and weak, but the nightmare closed about her, and she smelled her own death rising from her stomach. Her sight was failing, her hands were numb and felt nothing. Crying out, she stumbled and at last she felt herself falling, and the space before her broadened and darkened.

In despair, she reached more deeply within herself than she had ever touched, even when changing into her wolf form, far beneath that layer that she had learned to understand, to a place that was like the heart of rock itself, a molten heat that was forever shifting and changing. Be strong, she thought. Find him. Heal him.

From the center of her Knowing, in her last effort to find Cadvan, she flung herself towards the fleeing figure before her. She cried out a name with every fiber of her being, one she had never heard before but had simply revealed itself to her mind -Adhaerean.

For an endless moment, all her senses were quenched, and she seemed to exist only in that void that stretched out before her. Adhaerean, she said again, more earnestly.

And then she felt a jarring release, like the vines of darkness choking her had been cut loose. The void before her began to fill with light, and the darkness shrank away from its warmth.

She called out the name once more. This time, she felt a response from Cadvan, as if the name was connected to his spark of life, to his soul. Of course! It is his Truename!

Without fully understanding what she was doing, she opened her mind completely to his, drawing strength from her innermost self that she had discovered.

She pushed foward through each barrier in his mind, careful not to harm him. She sought out the invisible scars he had long hidden from her, and she healed them. She continued on, delving deeper and deeper into his mind as she followed the branches of darkness that led there, until she reached a place that none of her light had yet touched.

Her mind recoiled as she tried to feel it, realizing at once that this was the pain she had inadvertently caused him. By going to Nenn. By what had happened. By not telling him the truth. By not standing by his decision to bring Adian to justice. By not admitting she loved him. There was so much darkness surrounding those memories that Maerad feared she could not destroy it without harming him.

She remembered Malgorn's warning; she felt her magery falter, and the shadows leapt up. She focused again, trying to find an edge to the darkness, a way to unravel its form without scrying Cadvan. For what seemed like an eternity she felt around its edges, pained by the memories she was forced to see.

And suddenly, there it was. A light within the darkness.

She touched it carefully with her Knowing and a memory she had forgotten, the memory of how Cadvan had caught her up from the ground at Anfil and showered her face with kisses, his reserve vanishing in his relief that she was alive filled her mind. She felt her body hum with the joy of their success, and how happy she was to be with him. In his arms. Being kissed by him. How she loved him.

That is the answer, a voice within her mind whispered.

Love is the answer? she spoke into the darkness before her. It died away slightly as the light grew brighter.

Of course it is, the voice replied. It has always been the answer. Love is the Light.

Love destroys darkness, Maerad echoed the thought. She turned her attention to the boiling darkness before her. My love for you will destroy this darkness that has been created, she said into his mind. It cannot stand against its strength.

What remained of the darkness began to disappate. The light flared up in its place, growing brighter and brighter until she was consumed by it, no longer knowing who or what she was, just that she was made of light and it felt right.

Someone called her name. Elednor Edil-Amarandh na, remember your name. Heart of fire, flower of flame, you are saved now. Come home.

She felt a voice forming, one that wanted to answer. Something inside her shaped a mouth. I remember, said the mouth. I remember my home.

Come, said the voice. Come back home. Return to yourself, Elednor.

Rather abruptly, time seemed to start again.

She was a body of flesh and blood and bone, and she could hear her own rapid breathing. She gasped, feeling the air rush into her lungs, something soft around her. Someone was stroking her face and saying her name. Her vision returned she and found herself looking straight into Cadvan's eyes. He repeated her name again, a question in his voice and she nodded, still stunned by what she had just experienced.

"Cadvan," she said after a few moments. She regarded him with awe - he no longer appeared ghostly, and the tremors that shook him had stopped. She became aware of her own body, as well. Although she was exhausted, a mental weight she had carried was gone. She no longer felt fear, anxiety, or stress. Somehow, she felt peaceful, despite having spent hours healing Cadvan's mind. And with that Healing came an entirely foreign feeling - one of intimacy that didn't frighten her - she knew his Truename, she had entered his Mind and healed him in places he had never revealed as injured, and without knowing how, he had helped her in return feel safe again.

"Apparently there is a Healer in Annar that can help you," she whispered in relief. She laughed lightly, still shocked that she'd accomplished something so great in such a fragile state. This had been a true test and she had passed it.

Cadvan flashed her a brilliant smile, one that she hadn't seen in months. "Ever you surprise me, Maerad."

He threw his arms around her, embracing her so passionately that all breath was driven out of her. And for an infinite moment they held each other so closely that she felt the wild beating of his heart through her whole body, and she could not tell whether her cheeks were wet with his tears or her own.