AN: This fanfic is totally unlike anything else I've ever written as far as the style and composition of it goes. I was tempted to write itthough after I read a similiar one about Sakumo by the very, very talented kimi no vanilla. So here goes. Hope you guys like.
How to Effectively Become Kakashi Hatake
Be born into a world of glass
Be oblivious to the fact that it is soon to shatter
Form your lips so that at ten months your first word is 'blood'
Look up to your father
Love him and want to be just like him
Be distraught to later learn that no one else does
Watch him take his own life with the white tantou, in the dojo, in the dark, on the cold ,empty floor
Try to pull the tantou from his body as he collapses
Watch as the light fades from his eyes
Try to shake him awake, get the blood on your hands
On your face
In your hair
Let it dry
Shatter
Feel nothing
Become a ward at the orphanage, latch onto the future Yondaime
Wake Yondaime up at night shaking with feverish images
Pretend to be sound asleep when he hurries in to check on you
Love Obito. Love Rin.
Lose Obito. Lose Rin.
Realize that it is all your fault
Feel that you don't deserve the red eye
Become afraid to close it
Become afraid to see Obito in your face
Break any glass you come across that dares to hold your reflection
Cry
But only when no one is looking
Become enraged with yourself
Plot to swallow a suicide soldier pill
Join ANBU instead
Become a monster
Hear people whisper about you always
Afraid
Hate yourself for liking the fear in their voices
Shed blood
Scrub your body vigorously from head to toe the first six weeks to erase the stench of it
Forever smell like blood
Pillage villages, slit the throats of pregnant women, cripple men
Assassinate a young child
Become unable to forget the way her eyes look when you snap her neck
Let it keep you up at night
Turn to lewd books with lots of sex and always happy endings
Tell yourself you believe the words in them and burn through them while you drink heavily in your compound
Never answer the door when anyone knocks
Turn away from their smiling faces and approachable words
Tell them you are fine and actually force a smile
Ignore them when the smiling faces become afraid of you and begin to doubt your sanity
When they eventually stop coming to your door tell yourself you wanted it this way all along
Pray that ANBU eventually kills you
Request an extra two years to ensure that it does
Be yanked out of ANBU by the Hokage before it can happen
Become a jounin
Become a sensei
Remember Yondaime, Obito, Rin, as if you could ever forget them
Fail every lackluster, skill-less child they send you for testing
Attend services that you make up in your mind at the Memorial Stone
Memorize the names on the stone in order
Recite apologies you have written but never would have said before
Be sorry you are not better
Apologize profusely to Obito, especially
Feel your Sharingan eye throb
Meet Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura
Sakura who smiles like a girl you used to know
Sasuke who never smiles
Naruto who is oblivious to the fact that his glass world is soon to shatter