Author's note- Hi everyone! I have made this random one-shot because I wanted to write something completly crazy and funny! Thanks for reading. Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harry Potter's life had been interesting. The thing he always wanted was to be normal, too bad that was the last thing he was. At the moment he was thinking all of this, he was putting little Teddy to sleep reading his bed time story. Teddy was one example of that. Although he loved Teddy like a son, most people his age where off having fun. Instead of keeping after a two year old baby. Although he couldn't remember a time that he had been like others his age.

Suddenly he heard a big bang down in his apartment's kitchen. As he went to investigate he found sixty death eaters eating his cookies. At this point Harry had stopped reading little Teddy his bed time story and he started crying. The Death Eaters looked up and one stopped chewing. Harry found it repulsive, even disgusted. No one would blame him, he could actually SEE the chewed up cookie in the Death Eater's open mouth. Then spells went flying everywhere. Harry's first spell was to cleanse the Death Eater's dirty cookie filled mouth.

"Sporgify!" Soap appeared in the Death Eater's mouth. As the battle continued, unrealized to Harry little Teddy had crawled down the staircase. Death Eaters surrounded Harry on all sides and just when things looked bad, Teddy BIT the Death Eater's leg!!! Fifty-nine Death Eaters looked at Teddy (the last one was still eating cookies). They all aimed their wands at Teddy. Harry thinking quickly did the only thing that would save little Teddy's life.

"LOOK, it is the Dark Lord flying on a pig!" Harry shouted pointing to his ceiling fan, hoping that odd distraction would work It did work. Every Death Eater looked up at the ceiling, giving Harry just enough time to slid across the floor and pick up Teddy.

The Death Eaters soon recovered, realizing they had been tricked. Harry ran over only having enough time to perform one last spell.

"Accio!" Harry said pointing his wand to the one thing that would stop the Death Eaters. The object of choice flew into his awaiting hand. All of the Death Eaters gasped at Harry's audacity.

"Now, every one of you get on the ground, or they get it!" Harry yelled,pointing his wand to the sacred object. He watching each Death Eater drop on the ground, with tears forming in their eyes at the thought of Harry destroying the thing they loved most.

Harry walked to each Death Eater magically bounding them. After this was done he put them in one pile. He looked at Teddy, who just laughed. Teddy was happy because he didn't have to go to bed. Harry cleaned his mouth, he didn' want it to be dirty after biting a Death Eater's leg. Next he called Kingsley.

"Hey Kingsley." Harry said.

"Hello Harry, if this is another one of your random chats, I can't talk right now." Kingsley said slightly annoyed.

"Well fine, Mr. Minister, I won't hand you about sixty Death Eaters." Harry said sounding output.

"Wha…Wha… Did you say sixty?" Kingsley said sounded astonished.

"NO I meant six hundred, of course sixty." Harry said. "I can assume you are sending lots of important men to pick them up." Harry said, knowing Kingsley hated it when he called Ministry official important men.

"Harry." Kingsley said annoyed.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, don't call YOUR men that." Harry said mocking Kingsley. "Anyways I've got to go, Teddy needs to go to bed." Teddy frowned when Harry said that and stuck out his tongue.

"Oh, of course. By the way, how did you subdue sixty death Eaters?"

"Easy, I threatened the one thing they loved enough to invade my house for, which was really stupid." Harry said thinking of how thick these guys and girls were.

"What was that Harry?" Asked Kingsley.

" Mrs. Weasley's famous cinnamon cookies." Harry said hanging up the phone and taking his tired godson up to bed. So what if he didn't have a normal life, he wouldn't have it any other way.

Author's note- Well did I achieve my goal of crazy and funny? PLease review and tell me(I love seeing what everyone thinks)!