A/N: iheartmwpp: Hey, good news! I got together with Raven again! No, don't get excited, she didn't help write this chapter, except for adding like, three things. The REAL competent, random writing will return NEXT chapter. In the meantime, enjoy three pages of crap.

Disclaimer: We don't own anything from The Chronicles of Narnia, Eragon, the English translation chorus of the second opening of Durarara!, or the Great Wall of China.

The camera cuts to the mountains of New Zea—I mean, of Narnia in order to establish that a transition has been made. It's a bit easier in a fanfic, where we can just go to the next chapter and no one is any the wiser. Anywho, the bad guys were all having a pizza party to celebrate the fact that Fox took over the production of the third movie. They are celebrating because they are evil, as is Fox. Why do I say this? Because the last Film of the Book they made, to my knowledge, was Eragon. That is all.

Miraz quickly ruined the party because he didn't bring any martinis. Pouting, he decided to check up on the spork supply, and found several of the guards standing around sheepishly. He kicked the sheep out of the way and walked up to them.

"Dictionary," he greeted them in the traditional way, and they responded in kind. "So…what up?"

"Well, our spork supply was sort of stolen last night," said Tangerine 26.

"Yeah, it kind of sucks, but there you go," commented Tangerine 65.

"Wait, someone stole our spork supply?" shouted Miraz incredulously.

"…And the Brazilian carpet supply," muttered Tangerine 49.

"WHAT?"

"And our Great Wall of China supply."

"THIS IS A COMPLETE DISASTER!"

"And the small children supply."

"WHAT WILL WE USE FOR CATAPULT AMMUNITION?"

"And the grenade supply."

"THAT'S—wait, never mind, those are useless anyway," said Miraz, breathing a sigh of relief.

"…Right," said Tangerine 58.

"So how many were taken?" Miraz questioned further.

"Um, were you not listening? They took the entire supply!"

"Uh-huh, and?"

"That means they took all of it!"

"I don't follow you."

"We have nothing left. Nada. Rien. Nani mo."

"Oh…OH! Oh, well…crappity-crappity-crew."

"Indeed."

"This can't get any worse, can it?" muttered Miraz resignedly.

"This just in, they also took our porn stash!" cried Tangerine 305, running up to them.

"NOOOOOOO!" shouted everyone in the camp.

"We're doomed," yelled Miraz, "completely and utterly doomed! DOOMED!"

"BTW, they totally left us a message," said Glozelle, holding up a poster.

"Wow, was this done by hand?" asked Miraz, impressed at the detail that went into the beautiful painting of a bright green meadow dotted with flowers.

"So it would seem," answered Glozelle. "But wait! There's more!" He turned it around and they saw that, on the back, there was a landscape of the mountains of Narnia.

"…Why are they orange?" Miraz wondered aloud.

"It could be a sunset," Glozelle reasoned.

"That doesn't explain the little polka dots and stripes painted in puce and silver."

"Hey, it's artistic license, the painter can honestly do whatever they want."

"Including making the sun be a giant apple pie?"

"Iunno."

What will I draw on the blank canvas of tomorrow that stretches endlessly? What will I draw on the blank canvass of tomorrow that's been dyed by reality? With struggle, it will shine.

"Oh, and they also sent this." Glozelle pulled out a scroll and unrolled it. "It says, HA HA, YOU TOTALLY GOT PWNED! AND YOU SHALL CONTINUE TO BE PWNED UNTIL YOU ARE ALL TURNED INTO DUCKS WHERE YOU WILL BE FORCED TO DUST PEOPLE'S SUMMER HOMES FOR PROFIT. Love, Caspian XXXVIII."

"But wHO COUld hAVe senT us suCh a MESSAge?" aSkEd SallY.

"Caspian XXXVIII, you freaking idiot!" shouted Miraz, kicking Sally in the balls.

"OuchIES!" CRIed SAlly.

"Yeah, so…my bad," Glozelle cut in.

"Yeah, you kind of fail at life," said Miraz. They guffawed and had a lovely chortle fest.

The eggplants suddenly decided to plan a coup d'état on the Playboy Mansion, where they fired their machine guns at the sunflowers that chewed on the paperclips. Then the chinchillas ate all the licorice in the city and were kicked out for being too liberal.

"BITCHSLAP!" Miraz bellowed suddenly, thwacking Glozelle across the feet.

"Dude, what the hell?" cried Glozelle. "We just had a lovely chortle fest!"

"That line's getting really old, and iheart ends up using it in freaking everything, including daily conversations, it's annoying and needs to die!"

"Aww, I liked that line," said Tangerine 204.

"Now make your men do the Funky Chicken or I will be forced to take drastic measures against you."

"NO! No, please, anything but that!" shouted Tangerines 26, 65, 49, 58, 305, and 204.

"…Depends, what are the drastic measures?" asked Glozelle nervously.

Miraz walked over to him, his long, flannel, bright green cloak smothering several haunted raccoon pelts as he went.

"You will make them dance, or I will remove all Internet privileges for the next three days," he whispered ominously.

"NOES! I NEEDS TEH INTERMANET…TO LIVE!" Glozelle whimpered.

"Wait a minute, I'm one of the guys who works in prosthetics for the movie!" protested Tangerine 49.

"Yeah, so am I, you can't do this to us!" agreed Tangerine 26.

"Sorry, this is just the kind of world we live in, we have to have electronics and stuff like this or we die," said Glozelle apologetically as he started the music.

"LEt's gO, I can't WAtch THEm suFFER lIKe tHis," muTTEred SAlly as the Tangerines' tortured screams filled the air.

"Aww, but I love the screams of the innocent!" whined Miraz, but left with Sally anyway. "So…yeah, Caspian's a buttface and we're totally at war now. But he's the one who started it, so it's cool."

"…NO, it's REALly noT."

"Shut up! Just for that, I'm taking over as king, so nyah!" And with that, Miraz rode off on his starfish.

"…WEll thAT wENt weLl."

Banana slugs then took over the planet, destroying thousands with their sticky juice-sprinkling sprinklers that disguised themselves as sprinkles in ice cream. Then they self-destructed because one of them thought he was a goblin, and they all lived happily ever after. Except that they were all dead.

A/N: iheart: Would you believe that Raven only wrote the last paragraph, as well as changing two other things? I really think I'm getting better at this!

Oh, and I've started a parody of the first Harry Potter movie on the iheartmwpp account. Don't get too excited, it's not as awesomely random as this, but I don't think it sucks that much. So…yeah, Shameless Advertising No Jutsu. Bring it.